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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Nov 24, 2011 22:48:03 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d100/lilpuppyluver2003/bg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;]hi . where scars have healed
luca had every right to be nervous about things now that maggie was in a whole new, what was it they called it? condition? pregnancy pretty much was a condition and that's why pregnant women had special circumstances and couldn't do a lot of the things that most other women could do. maggie understood that. she wasn't about to try and go doing something dangerous that was going to risk herself or her two children. she wasn't stupid. she wanted these babies to come out as swiftly and as healthy as possible but that didn't mean that she was going to subject herself to luca's unnecessary fears and put herself on bed rest when it wasn't needed. she wasn't a helpless individual and she'd never been a helpless individual and none of that was going to change simply because luca was afraid. maggie knew her limits and yes there were times when this job came with some unsuspected dangers but maggie was willing to concede one thing to him here and now. she wouldn't deal face to face in drug matters anymore if it meant that he would trust her on this. the most dangerous thing she'd ever gotten involved with since luca had left had been with face to face meetings with her dealers and just in general. she liked the face to face meetings because it was in that initial fear that maggie got her leverage and that didn't convey itself very well either through someone else or by some virtual means. but if that meant that maggie had to sacrifice scaring the pants off people for the sake of her kids she could do it. otherwise everything else she'd done with the business had either been in the books or in the legit portion of the business which had been the m lounge.
luca probably didn't know just how little danger there was in her life at the moment but if it put him at ease to promise that she wouldn't intentionally put herself in harm's way then maggie would do that for him. "alright, i'll give you this much. i promise to stop the face to face meetings at least while i'm pregnant. that's the most danger i ever put myself in and even then i go with an army's worth of protection but if it'll make you feel better that i'm not personally involved i'll do that bit of the business through a messenger or something. is that good enough for now?" he was so right though. if their children ended up super stubborn like the two of them then she and luca were going to be in for a world of frustration. she had a feeling it would happen especially with the little girl once hormones stepped in and fucked with everyone's lives. they were in for one bumpy ride that was for sure. maggie already felt slightly overwhelmed with the family-ness that was beginning here and there was always a possibility for more children in the future. this was bound to be one, big mess but as long as she was in it with her husband, they would take it on. as long as she never had to play the "we're apart but together" game ever again.
she couldn't believe the shock that was coming from these books. already she was starting to regret jumping luca's bones the few days after he'd come back. though she was happy for what was happening and what they honestly couldn't control anymore, these books were starting to scare her, and she hadn't even read any of the advice or any of the scariest parts written on those pages. she wondered if her face looked as pale white as it felt. luca didn't help as he came over with another book that showed a picture of a woman whose stomach practically dragged the floor. "my god," she said on a breath, "i'm going to be a damn whale." sexy as hell? there was no way she was going to be sexy as hell when she looked like shamu in bed. there was no way he was going to find her appealing when her stomach touched her knees or when she needed a crane to pick her up out of bed simply so she could pee. suddenly maggie wanted nothing more than to cry. oh, and her boobs were going to grow? two sizes? she could feel the hot tear stream down her cheek as she cursed and brushed it away. damn hormones. "there's no way that's sexy. you just watch. i'll be nine months along and covering both side of a king sized bed and you'll be hanging out around town with your new squeeze whose a size negative two. you just wait."
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Nov 25, 2011 0:43:01 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #1c1c2f solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] I WON'T LET YOU GO, I NEED YOU TO KNOW
THAT YOUR ARE MY HEART FOREVER
AND ON AND ON AND ON The Lyrics: 'i can't wait (to be my wife)" runner runner The Outfit: t-shirt, jeans, Tagged maggieThe Notes oh luca xD
---LUCA NODDED. "it's perfect. for now," he told her. maybe he would have some of the guys hang around the m lounge more, just to be there in case something was going to happen. it was going to be just one look that maggie giovanni was pregnant and their enemies might want to plan something against them. luca didn't want to take any chances. maggie being pregnant was just different when his aunts were. they were pregnant and not involved with business deals, drugs, and guns. they were housewives... maggie was not. maybe it was his own jitters, but he didn't want her unprotected. he just wanted to make sure she was ok and not about the job and the business. about her current state of being. he kind of wanted to ask her if she was ok with everything that was happening around them. like... the kids. they weren't trying to have a baby, and now they were going to have two. he knew she must be freaking out, even if she wasn't saying it to him. in american-standards, they were still fairly young. maybe not so much him because he was twenty six, but she was only twenty three. it was only a three year difference between them, but right now for having kids, it felt like a bigger gap. luca just didn't want her to feel pressured into something. everything would just be so much different if he never left. fucking russians.
but luca wanted big changes now that he was starting a family with maggie. he wanted to buy her house. one baby in the loft was one thing, but two? there would be no wiggle room. it would be extremely crowded with two cribs, two high chairs, two of everything. as much as it would be sad that they would move out, he didn't want to live above the art gallery forever. their new house would be perfect. a perfect place to start a family with ample protection. luca also wanted to marry her again. he knew couples sometimes waited years to renew vows, but it was very obvious that they weren't like most couples and if he wanted to marry her again every weekend, he would.
it was surprising. he was more interested in these books than maggie was. maggie was looking sort of uneasy, and luca wasn't really picking up on it right away. he just kept flipping through pages. it was like an eye-opener for him. "i'm going to be a damn whale." luca shook his head. "but this is what you are suppose to look like. and if you look like anything but this, i will continue to feed you until you do." he flipped through more pages. "oh, hey look, a chapter on hormones." he handed the book to her, "maybe you should read it." he picked up another book, this time one geared towards first time fathers.he started flipping through it and found all this stuff was more interesting than what he would originally thought. sure, tonight he would probably be so overwhelmed with everything that was cramming into his head now, but whatever. "there's no way that's sexy. you just watch. i'll be nine months along and covering both side of a king sized bed and you'll be hanging out around town with your new squeeze whose a size negative two. you just wait."
he looked up from the book to look at her. he could feel her hysteria. luca put the book back on the shelf and held both of her shoulders and rubbed them trying to calm her. "maggie, you're freaking out. just calm down. i'm not going to be running around town with anyone other than you. besides," he said and slid his hand down her back and around her hips, "you know i like something i can hold on to. anorexia ain't my thing." he gripped her hips a little tighter, pulling her against his own hips. they were the only ones in the aisle, so he didn't care. he did know this would be one of the last times they'd be able to be so close since soon enough her stomach would get in the way, but he wasn't about to tell her that since it would probably send her down another hysteric spiral. "and trust me. you will be sexy, you know why?" he asked her and pulled some hair out of her eyes. he saw two people wander in their aisle so he lightly kissed her on the cheek and whispered in her ear, "because nothing turns me on more than the fact that your carrying our kids."
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Nov 25, 2011 8:18:42 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d100/lilpuppyluver2003/bg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;]hi . where scars have healed
for now. of course luca couldn't help but to tack on that last bit during their conversation. he couldn't help but reminding her that more was going to be taken away from her, something that pretty much literally made maggie's skin crawl. yes having babies was a sacrifice and yes she wasn't going to be the only person giving something up in the long run but maggie had scraped by tooth and nail to get to the place she was today and to get the things she had today. to take away those things from her was like throwing her back into her past and luca didn't seem to realize he was doing that. maggie was giving up a lot with her face to face meetings because those were the times when she could physically see just how much control she had in the business. it was always a good way of solidifying everything she felt within the business. whenever she was feeling like she wasn't sure of her place in the business or whenever she needed a little more proof that she was doing something worthwhile, maggie went to a face to face meeting and watched some weasel of a dealer nearly piss his pants just at the sight of her and maggie always walked away feeling a renewed sense of self worth. maybe that wasn't really all that healthy for her to use other people's fear as a means of making herself feel better, but it worked and it always made maggie work just a little harder. fausto had to appreciate that. to willingly let go of the face to face meetings was like getting rid of her reward system and that didn't make her happy in the slightest but she did it...for him.
she could feel her face turning red with anger as he thrust a chapter about hormones her way. she would show he hormones. she was about ready to chuck the book at his head but she managed to keep herself under control, instead she gripped the book nearly to death, crinkling the pages until her knuckles went white. yes she was having a minor little break down in the middle of a book store but she didn't care. this wasn't fun. learning that she was going to have to give up all of these things for these babies when luca could just sit around in perfect condition bothered her. she was sacrificing her body, her sex life, her job, her everything and here he was prancing around like he'd just won the fucking lottery. this wasn't fair in the slightest. "if i have to give up pretty much everything for these babies, i want some show of support. give up something business related that you really love. something you can pawn off on someone else the way i have to trust one of my right-handers for the face to face meetings. i don't care if you're a big, strong freaking man but i want a little give and take here." she said with a bit of a pout. yes she was acting a little childish but it seemed as though they both held a series of children's building blocks, all labeled with their duties, responsibilities, and pleasures and while maggie's stash of blocks was quickly dwindling down to one, incubator, luca was still proudly holding on to his stash. it wasn't fair and she wanted to at least feel like he was giving up something he held dear as well.
"luca. you're stating the obvious." she said in retort to his comment about her freaking out. she rolled her eyes a little at him. of course he wasn't going to admit that he wanted to run around down with some skinny bitch. what man actually confessed that he had a mistress he was running around with? she felt him pull her body against his and just took a breath, trying to calm herself down. this was slightly ridiculous and she knew it but the people she was with and without hormones were very different and very much out of her control. she grumbled as she rested her head on his shoulder, listening to him continue to try and calm her down. it wasn't really working but he could at least continue to keep trying. she noticed him pull away slightly and looked up to see the cause, noticing the pair of people who had joined them in the aisle. she gave them a glare and, knowing who she was, they quickly backed out of the aisle without anything that they had come looking for originally. once satisfied she turned her attention back to luca, resting her head on his shoulder. "oh good. i'm so glad because apparently my body found it funny to tack on a spare child." she looked around at the books and groaned. "let's just buy these and go somewhere else. this is damn depressing. let's look at...i don't know...cribs or something."
831, outfit: pj's, TAG: LAGGIE. |
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Nov 27, 2011 1:12:50 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #1c1c2f solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;]I WON'T LET YOU GO, I NEED YOU TO KNOW
THAT YOUR ARE MY HEART FOREVER
AND ON AND ON AND ON The Lyrics: 'i can't wait (to be my wife)" runner runner The Outfit: t-shirt, jeans, Tagged maggieThe Notes yay
---HE WAS BEING A VERY SUPPORTIVE. he was being interested in these books, he was trying to make her feel better about herself, he was telling her he found her crazy hot. and all she was doing was getting pissed and thinking he would be having something on the side. he found her meltdown really cute. it made luca think that she didn't want this anymore, that she didn't want to be pregnant. he knew her life was changing. that she'd be looking... all pregnant soon, and the hormones, and whatever else he had been cramming his head with for the past ten minutes. he wanted this, he did. he wanted maggie and their two unborn kids and he was in this. he was stepping up, or at least trying to and he hoped maggie was seeing that. he didn't know about kids? well, they'll go to the bookstore, find out what they can. his little idea was turning out to be a disaster because it seemed to be upsetting maggie more than anything.
when maggie told him that he had to give up something too to be fair, it threw him for a loop. "are you kidding?" he joked at first but realized she was dead fucking serious. "oh, you're not...." he had to sit and think about that one for a minute. "i guess i didn't really know that it upset you so much." he stared at some bindings on the shelf, looking at different titles. how the hell was he suppose to tell her that one: she was being childish and two: fausto really wouldn't let luca take a backseat while maggie also would have to take a backseat. you know, just to be fair because maggie believed he should be giving something up because she was. he was suppose to be providing for maggie and the twins. sure, his payment wasn't in check form and based on an hourly wage but luca didn't want to cut himself short. it was the ego, man. luca really tried to think what he could give up to satisfy maggie. but, he didn't hold a conventional job so it was hard. "besides, shouldn't you want to give up everything for your babies? our babies? you're acting selfish. i'm supporting you by keeping a job and continuing to make money. but if you really want me to give up something so you don't feel left out i'll ask fausto what i can do less of." shit. he could feel himself gearing up for something, but his voice remained calm as he pulled a couple more books off the shelf and hooked them under his arm for books to buy.
he knew her growing anger when she glared at the couple that joined them in the aisle. oh, jesus. she was gearing up for something and so was he. five years ago, this would have been foreplay for them. she was mocking him because he said he found her sexy. he watched as she looked around and groaned. "let's just buy these and go somewhere else. this is damn depressing. let's look at...i don't know...cribs or something." he didn't find it depressing. he found it interesting. did he knew her boobs would grow? no. it was a successful ten minutes in his mind. with books in one arm, he guided her out of the aisle with the other and headed towards the cash register. "or, we could look at a bed, or a couch, or a counter. and we have all of those things at home. lucky us." yeah, he was being forward, but it was with his own wife. but even when they weren't in the mood, they were in the mood. it had been awhile considering it had been in january. and it was four months since then. yeah, there was the rough patch, but now they were like, together, and having kids together, and as of today, living together again. luca knew that they were different now. they were slightly older and less reckless perhaps. but he still found her anger cute and sexy, even if she didn't want to hear it right now. besides, it's not like she could get pregnant again.
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Nov 29, 2011 17:03:06 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d100/lilpuppyluver2003/bg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;]hi . where scars have healed
maggie knew that luca wasn't going to like what she had to say even as it was coming out of her mouth but she didn't care. this wasn't just a game of let's take everything away from the wife. having children was a sacrifice to both parents and if luca thought he was going to be able to keep everything while she sacrificed her business, her body, and her sanity then he was sadly mistaken. after all it wasn't like normal people didn't sacrifice. in normal relationships that weren't backed by something dark and sinister the people involved gave their all to provide for their families but at the same time they sacrificed for the sake of their children. yes this was the only way they made their profit but it wasn't like there wasn't some legitimate businesses they could run while this was going on. if luca really wanted to be in this 50/50 with her then she figured he would be a little willing to let something go, even if that meant temporarily because it really did mean that much to her that they were on an even playing field. maggie had always wanted to just be someone's equal and she'd always had that with the help or with the drug peddlers or with the boys her father tortured in the bowels of the family home. she was always on an equal playing field with someone that most head honchos would consider beneath them and she didn't want to be thought of as such simply because she was the unfortunate owner of a vagina. that wasn't the way things worked, that wasn't the way the world worked and if maggie had to drill it into luca's head that he wouldn't treat her like a regular italian wife but like a business partner, well then he would see some ugly sights. she wasn't about to put up with just being the family incubator. maggie knew just how much she was worth. it was high time luca acknowledged that as well.
her jaw dropped slightly as luca reacted to her request, calling her selfish for wanting something else and not wanting to just be loving wife and mother to his brood. it was when her straightened and her jaws clenched that he should have realized what a mess he'd made for himself. "i love how wanting to just be an equal makes me selfish. and these are our babies right? i sacrifice for my babies and i've told you i'm willing to give up things for them. since you're unwilling does that just make them my children? oh and should i mention how great it makes me feel that you think i should just sit around at home and play your bitch!" there was no denying that she was yelling at this point. maggie was pissed and she didn't care who knew it. this wasn't about hormones anymore, this was about a sense of right and wrong in her eyes and nothing was more wrong than someone telling her that she wasn't worthy to do the same things as the rest of humanity. this business wasn't just for the big boys and if maggie had to show luca that the hard way then so be it. fausto seemed to get with the program and had embraced her long ago. it was high time his nephew followed suit. "nice to know how little you think of me. luca if you wanted a bitch, an incubator, or someone to do nothing more than make dinners and wipe asses then you should have married some little italian bitch instead!" she said as she put her hands on his shoulders and gave him a shove, turning away from him.
his words had done nothing for her anger and was part of the reason why the couple who'd walked in had walked out just as quickly. she walked with him, begrudgingly, as he headed to the cash register and pretty much bought every baby book the section had to offer. that should have made her happy but all she could see was the leash. yes leash. the leash that slid between her legs that would tether her to luca as his puppy to kick when he was down. she could see it now, he was going to take everything she loved away from him. that didn't make her hot. that made her want to cry. she turned away from him as he started to speak, trying to coerce her to go home and be with him. "honestly i'd rather go shopping." maggie said under her breath. with how pissed off she was at him, maggie honestly didn't see any attraction there at the moment. he would soon learn that if he ever wanted anything from her he was going to have to treat her differently and if that meant he was going to go months without sex then that was the way it was going to be. maggie wasn't going to give in to him. she'd tried that, she'd offered him a condition in an effort to be fair and he'd jumped on it demanding she give up even more. the moment the books were paid for maggie pushed away from him, headed to the back of the store that opened up into the mall. she was planning on shopping with or without him. let him leave her behind in some angry tantrum. she didn't care. all she cared about right now was getting the hell away from him. "keep thinking like that and i can assure you the invitation to come back will vanish in thin, fucking air." she said as she walked away.
950, outfit: pj's, TAG: LAGGIE. |
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Dec 5, 2011 22:32:01 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #1c1c2f solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;]I WON'T LET YOU GO, I NEED YOU TO KNOW
THAT YOUR ARE MY HEART FOREVER
AND ON AND ON AND ON The Lyrics: 'i can't wait (to be my wife)" runner runner The Outfit: t-shirt, jeans, Tagged maggieThe Notes yay
--- LUCA WONDERED WHAT dr. banks would say about this one. the doctor didn't know that maggie was pregnant, and luca was sure he would be saying something about it. luca could see it. he might have been invited back into the loft, but they still were having marital problems. luca thought that maggie right now was overreacting. maybe luca shouldn't have said she was selfish, but she shouldn't have told him he had to give something up just so that she wouldn't feel bad. he wanted to just yell at her that this was just the nature of the beast. pregnancy only happened to women. it was nine months. luca seriously didn't see why she was acting like this was a life-long thing she'd have to endure. it would probably be a maximum of two or three months when she couldn't do much. they were having twins. would she even want to walk around and do her thing when he was assuming, she'd be very very pregnant at that point.
it was the way her jaw dropped when he said that she was being selfish that he knew he was in the doghouse. of course. and in twenty minutes he was sure he would have to be the one apologizing. "maggie! it's for nine months! i'm not asking you to give up your life's work for the rest of your life. you're being dramatic." his voice was in a harsh whisper. it was embarrassing enough when they fought in front of their friends, but it front of complete strangers? he really didn't want people he never met getting into their business. maggie however, seemed not to of care that her voice was getting increasingly louder. he had to clear his throat when people started slowly walking by the aisle that they were in. watching the spectacle, of course. "nice to know how little you think of me. luca if you wanted a bitch, an incubator, or someone to do nothing more than make dinners and wipe asses then you should have married some little italian bitch instead!" luca rolled his eyes and she gave him a little push out of her way. "oh, yeah. because that was exactly what i said. i think so little of you maggie. you know what? maybe i should have married an italian bitch. maybe she would actually be happy she was pregnant right now. and when was the last time you ever cooked for me?" it was now getting dangerously out of control. and she was probably going to unleash on him, and fuck, he was prepared.
the clerk checking them out was a woman. at first, she just ignored the frigidness between them. when she saw the pile of baby books luca put on the counter she started to smile. "oooo are you two expecting?" luca got out his wallet. "yes." he threw some cash down. luca didn't like using cards. everything could be traced that way. the clerk held up the book that was aimed towards having twins. "you guys must be so excited." luca just waited for the change and the bag. "so, excited. right, babe?" he asked maggie. the cashier gave him the bag and his cash. maggie took off towards the exit of the store which led out to the mall. he heard her call over her shoulder that if he kept acting like he did, she would revoke his invitation to live with her. he jogged up to her. "well, you're gonna have to shoot me. because i'm not leaving." they both walked out into the mall, people were walking around and going into store. in the middle of the mall was a children's play area. it was loud because of kids running and screaming around. years ago, when violet would ask luca to go shopping with her, they'd sit and talk over there while rocco would play with the other kids and be just as loud as the current kids were being. "maggie, wait," he said and sighed. he turned to face her and put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "why are we always like this? how can we go from being in bed together this morning to fighting right now in the mall?" he pointed off to the couples and the kids. "that's supposed to be us in like, five years. do you even want this?"
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Dec 6, 2011 14:55:45 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d100/lilpuppyluver2003/bg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;]hi . where scars have healed
breathe in, breathe out. maggie knew that if she didn't that she was in for a world of trouble. it was always said that stress was never good for the baby and though she didn't want to really admit to it, she was carrying twice the load now which meant twice the likelihood that stress could cause something to go wrong. the part that bugged maggie the most was that this wasn't even necessary stress. this was husband-idiocy induced stress which honestly was the worst that maggie had to deal with. she didn't like arguing with luca like this and quite frankly the location of said argument wasn't an issue for her. for maggie the issue was the fact that luca didn't seem to get it. she did not feel like an equal around him. she felt one step up from a dog around him and though she loved him and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with this man, she wasn't about to do so at the expense of her sanity. yes she had exaggerated a time or two saying that this, that, and the other was going to rid her of her sanity but really it was a culmination of things that made maggie feel this way.
she wouldn't have felt so or she wouldn't have been so stubborn and pig-headed about it if luca had seemed a little more understanding. he just didn't seem to give a shit how she felt and though he could spout all the words in the world, his actions always said otherwise. she knew that he would be happy if she decided to just get out of the business and be a mother to her children but this was never something she'd planned for. maybe it was all selfish of her to want something so big like the power and the m lounge and all of that but it was her life. it was her passion. asking her to give it all up was like asking luca to put a bullet in the brains of his family members and go to work typing in some mindless crap into a computer while sitting sequestered in a cubicle. he was asking her to give up her life for his desires and seeing as how he hadn't seemed to understand where she was coming from at all, maggie didn't feel like it was right to give in. had he understood her and knew what she was feeling the matter would be totally different because luca would know what he was asking of her and would know just how much it affected her. he treated this situation as if it meant nothing, as if her giving up the business for even more than a second wasn't like ripping her heart out of her chest. she didn't feel like she was being dramatic, she simply felt misunderstood and until the moment came when she felt like he at least grasped the subject, she would always combat him.
she was trying to get across a point and luca was living in his own little world of delusion. honestly maggie wanted no part of it right now. she was absolutely not willing to deal with his petty attitude and bullshit while she was feeling like such an outcast in their relationship. so she said nothing. she gave luca no satisfaction in her answer because no matter what it would have been wrong. no matter what he would have seen it like some act and that she was putting on the biggest attitude. she was so done with it. all she wanted was to get the hell out of this store, as if changing scenery would make anything better. but she found that once she emptied out into the large hallway that branched off and lead to different stores that the same problems followed her everywhere she went. "at this point luca i don't care what you do." she said honestly, her exhaustion practically palpable. "look you don't get it okay. i know i can tell it to you over and over again but you're never going to fucking get it. this business means everything to me. it is my home. it is my family. it is the warm blanket that makes me feel secure at night. that business and what i did replaced you, plainly put. it was there for me when you weren't and honestly i'm not giving it up. i love you but you don't understand me in the slightest and you don't even see how it effects me. you're stubborn and you're pig-headed and i hate you right now for not seeing that it tears me up inside that you think i would be selfish about this or that i don't want this."
the squeals of play from the children rang in her ears and forced her to sigh. "yeah i want this, but i don't like feeling this way. don't you understand that you make me feel like a terrible person for wanting what i want out of life? i'm not going to be like your mother or your sister or your grandmother or your aunt. i'm not going to be that nice little innocent woman who stays at home and is super welcoming and warm. that's not who i am and that's not someone i've ever been. i feel like just because i don't fit into your perfect mold that you can't stand to look at me. you make me feel like i'm worthless for wanting what i want out of life. simple as that, and i fight you because you're pigheaded and because you don't understand and because you asking me why i wouldn't want to give everything up makes me feel like i'm inadequate to you." there. she poured her heart out to him. the only thing she could hope for was that he didn't shrug it off as being some dramatic overplay of her feelings to get her way because honestly if this couldn't get through to him, she never would and their marriage was doomed to fail.
1,020, outfit: pj's, TAG: LAGGIE. |
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Dec 12, 2011 23:57:22 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #1c1c2f solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;]I WON'T LET YOU GO, I NEED YOU TO KNOW
THAT YOUR ARE MY HEART FOREVER
AND ON AND ON AND ON The Lyrics: 'i can't wait (to be my wife)" runner runner The Outfit: t-shirt, jeans, Tagged maggieThe Notes -
--- LUCA STILL DIDN'T GET THEM. right when he thought they were moving forward, they were set back a few steps. seriously, the entire day, they were completely elated. from waking up in bed together, to going to the doctor and finding out they were going to have twins. luca was happy, he was excited. he never knew how much he wanted to start a family with her until they were listening to their heartbeats on the monitor. somehow, this afternoon became really fucked up. he couldn't just make her forget it even happened. but didn't she just know how much luca wanted to shower her with his attention and make her feel beautiful everyday to the point until she was sick of him? he'd buy her anything she wanted. jewelry, clothes, flowers, anything to keep her happy. he wanted them to be here in five years with their kids and running after them on the playground. luca wanted all of that stuff. he felt like he hadn't been able to tell her that yet. she was only seeing him as this... big ogre that wasn't let her do anything. she was so quick to judge that he was going to be exactly like his uncles. the ones that were married to women that truly did just stay home and raise the kids. i mean, sure, there were some of his aunts that held jobs, but nothing as big as what maggie was in charge of. luca wasn't thinking like that. none of his uncles married someone like maggie. he had known what he was getting himself into by marrying her. he knew that she was independent, stubborn, and had no problem in doing things the way she wanted. he fell in love with her because of that. luca was thinking that she was forgetting that.
he was always following, always chasing, always running after her. when did luca ever write her off and walk away? never. she was always the first one to check out of the conversation and walk away. luca would just follow suit and grovel at her feet for forgiveness. she wanted to walk away when she told him she was pregnant. she wanted him to leave when he first came back. she walked away and kicked him out when the night of the poker party. luca never put up with so much to anyone else. he never begged to be forgiven every time a fight arose to anyone else but her. he wondered what would have happened if he just went out to the car. what would she have done then? she probably would have gotten even more pissed and it would have been even longer for him to get back in her good graces.
luca stayed quiet when maggie basically told him the m lounge replaced him. that kind of hurt based on the fact that it was a fucking building. though, it was better than being replaced by another guy. and if that was the case, the guy would be long buried six feet under at this point. it was ironic that she was calling him stubborn. clearly their stubbornness right now was getting in the way of everything. and of course, she had to throw in pig-headed, something she had been calling him since the day they met. luca would admit, back then, he was very critical in a woman's role in the mafia business. he didn't think they belonged in the business. it was brought up by men. he thought it should stay that way considering how old-school the giovannis were. but how many times would he have to say that maggie had completely changed him? he worked right along side her now. he was fine with it. he had been for a long time now. "i do understand, maggie, i do. the m lounge is your everything, i know."
she confessed whatever she had been feeling to him. he frowned when she told him that he must look at her like a terrible person or pail in comparison to him. luca didn't have a mold. he didn't have a type of anyone but her. he knew she was about to give up on him again and just walk away. he didn't want that. "maggie. i'm sorry." he reached down and held her hand. "i don't want you to give up anything close to you. i want you to be happy. and i don't want to stand in the way of your happiness." he kissed her forehead. "you're everything to me. i don't want you to be a homemaker. i don't want you to stay home all the time. maggie, i don't want anything like that." he knew they were still in public so he settled for just holding her hand. he wanted to kiss her and tell her everything was going to be ok, but he believed that passerbys had seen enough of the maggie/luca sideshow for one day. "what do you want to do? i'll do anything you want."
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