``birth of a fire

[derek oliver stanwood]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #000000 solid 30px; ] Somebody help me sing Can anybody hear me? OUTFIT: DEREK, MEG. TAGGED: delana! --- DEREK HAD A HARD TIME EVEN PROCESSING EVERYTHING THAT HAD happened to him in the past few weeks. First, He witnesses a brutal beating. The trial happens, he testifies like any good human being would do for their fellow man and the next thing he knew he was on the ground of an empty parking lot, blood coming out of his nose and lip, bruises forming, swelling everywhere before being thrown into a car, brought to the Inferno, locked and cuffed into a room where he was told he basically had to be the Russian's little bitch or they would kill his sister. And now here he was. In his shitty little apartment, like always, trying to read a book about Arthurian legends, like always, struggling to get through each page, like always, trying to pretend he wasn't dyslexic, like always. He simply could never just own up to who he was. Derek had barely let himself think about what had happened. It had been a week since the Russians let him go and all he could try to do was not think of was how scared he had really been in that room. He was trying to pretend it never happened. But right on cue, as if Meg knew when the worst times to come and see him were, she had been at his apartment a couple days after the incident. He had still been pretty bruised up then, she had tried to ask what had happened but he had just snapped at her to leave because it was what she was good at. It was probably unfair. It was probably too harsh but he did it anyways because well because he couldn't talk to her about it. He couldn't tell her what happened and while he does want to fix them, he was now worried that the more she was around him, the more she would figure out and the more she would try to be like him and do something about it. She would try to come to his rescue and he couldn't let her do that. He couldn't lose his sister. She was the only family he had ever had. Fighting or not, problems or none, family was family. And she was his. Derek ran a hand through his hair as he concentrated on the letters on the page before jumping a bit as he heard a knock on his door. His apartment was a small one, and unimpressive but it worked for him. It was one of the slum types of apartments that had outdoor access, like the motels of apartment buildings kind of deal. He liked it because it meant he didn't have to walk through all these hallways that always seem to smell bad to get straight to his place. He closed the book before setting it down on the table next to him. Derek stood up and looked at the back of his door leading to the outside. Every time he got a visitor, granted he didn't get visitors often, his heart pumped furiously, terrified it was one of them, one of the Russians coming to get him. He took a deep breath just watching the door. Maybe they would assume he wasn't here and go away and even if it was a rare chance of a friends, he was not in the mood. He just needed to be left alone. Alone is the best right now. He held his breath as he heard the knocking again. "Open the bloody door Derek, I saw your car, I know you're here." Derek exhaled in a sigh and rolled his eyes as he heard his sister's voice bitching at him through the door. He hung his head and looked at the floor for a moment with his hands on his hips. Derek took a deep breath and nodded to himself before grabbing his sweatshirt and pulling his arms through, leaving the sweater unzipped as he walked towards the door. He unlocked it by twisting the knob before opening the door so suddenly, it made Meg take a small surprised step back. Derek looked at her for a moment before stepping outside, shutting his door behind him, locking it. He turned around and looked at his twin, "What do you want?" He asked plainly before he began walking towards the stairs to get down to the parking lot. Meg turned and walked with him. "I thought we could go get some tea and talk. I really think we need to." Meg offered to him. Meg knew she had screwed up with her brother but she was at least trying to fix it, she hadn't expected him to be so against her. To be so angry he wouldn't even look her in the eye for longer than a few moments as he contemplated what words to say to her that would hurt the most. Derek shook his head as he stepped off the stairs and into the parking lot. "Can't I have plans." He said casually walking towards his car. Meg picked up her pace and stepped in front of him, causing him to stop walking and look at her, "Just stop for a moment will you?" She asked putting a hand up. Derek noticed she was wearing the bracelet he gave her when they were new to Valkyrie. Meg had a thing for anchors, symbolically she adored them, design wise she thought they were sharp, pretty and classic. At least that was what she always told him. "I know you're pissed at me Derek, but I'm back now, I'm trying to make it better." Derek scoffed, "You're back because your show's filming locale moved." He replied before taking a step to the side and walking over to his car. Meg turned around, "Yes, So what? It doesn't change anything, I am trying to fix us but you can't even look at me." She spoke forcefully as she walked along side him to his car and leaned agains the car door so he would not be able to get in. Derek exhaled and relaxed his shoulders before lifting his eyes to look at her as if to prove a point. Meg's eyes narrowed slightly as she shook her head, "What happened? I knew you wouldn't be happy with me but was what I did really worth you hating me?" Meg asked quietly before standing straight and pulling her eyes away from him. She stepped away from the car door for him. Derek watched her as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't hate you Meg. We're just different." He replied, hoping she could find it somewhere in her to get it, when he heard another voice. He looked up to see Milana. All of a sudden he felt his throat drop into his stomach. Liars & lovers combine tonight We're gonna make a scene

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BIFFY CLYRO

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[milana anya lutrova]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #230807 solid 30px; ] I'D LIKE TO GRAB YOU BY THE HAIR OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEREK --- IT was days like these she wondered why the hell she didn't buy a bus ticket and just leave. she thought america would be better, it was supposed to be better. she got a job in addition to her messenger job with the russians. she had fans, she made honest money, and she brushed happiness more than one time it that made her smile. but it had all changed after the china wok restaurant exploded a few days ago. lana wasn't there. she was working at the lounge that night and it had been a solid half hour until she had learned what had happened because one of the bouncers on the russian's payroll clued her in. he had told her that people were dead, people were injured, and it was chaos downtown. lana was shocked and she sort of hated herself by first wondering if staz was ok. oh, but as she soon learned, he was fine, everything was fine. but now he had decided talking to her was beneath him. lana wasn't a lot of things, but she knew how to pick up on social clues and he was blatantly ignoring her and that unnerved her. and here she thought they had made progress. after the explosion, he was vague, the next day, he just ignored her. even though lana was starting to have a problem with someone at the lounge, staz didn't seem to care. so with one of her only friends ignoring her, lana realized she just had to deal with things on her own. she chose to sing at the lounge, so she had deal with problems that had arose. her only problem really was todd. todd was there every night she sang, was the first to order her a drank after her performance, and talked to her like they were old friends. at first, she was fine with it. he was nice, he was interested in getting to know her and she liked that. he was probably in his later twenties if not his early thirties with a lovable smile and knew how to joke around with everyone at the bar. except lately, he was starting to bother lana. he'd put his hand around her hip at the bar, or interject when she was talking to someone else. it wasn't something dangerous, but it bothered lana enough to ask staz what she should do, but it was clear he wanted nothing to do with her at the moment. she wasn't singing tonight, so she was kind of thankful for that. instead, she got a call that she had a job. pick-up and delivery to a regular. she'd done the job for the customer a few times before, so it would be easy. then she remembered she had to bring derek stanwood with her because staz had told her he trusted her and was the only one he knew that wouldn't grow tired of derek and kill him. she got his address, and knew she had to take a taxi over to his place because she didn't have a car, let alone an american license. hopefully derek had a car because she wasn't looking forward to trekking around town today because she was just in mad mood in general. she wanted this pick-up and delivery to be seamless. it was supposed to be easy, so out of all the clients of the russians she delivered to, this was a pretty easy job. lana got dressed quickly and avoided russians on her way down to the lobby. the valet hailed her a cab and she told the driver to take her to the place she had written down. within ten minutes, he was pulling up to a sketchy-looking building. however, she had seen sketchier. she paid the cabby and got out where she already noticed two people arguing by a car. undoubtedly, it was derek with a girl. as lana approached them, she knew it was his sister. their resemblance was too close to think otherwise. so, this was the sister the russians were threatening to kill if derek didn't work for them. lana didn't agree with using family members against people, she thought it was cruel, but it wouldn't be the russians if it was anything but cruel. lana was sure that they would probably threaten her with a family member if they could but alas, lana had no family left. it was the reason why it was always hard to really have the will to leave the russians. it had just become all she knew and despite feeling alone all the damn time, they were all she really had. as lana got closer they were talking about how derek didn't hate his sister. hm, interesting. there was definitely a story there that lana doubted she would ever hear. she sympathized with derek, but he seemed to look down at her because she conformed to the russian way and just sat there and took it. little did he knew how screwed up things were with her situation with the russians. he knew the basics because she told him, but it was more than just that. lana pulled her sunglasses on top of her head. "hey, derek," she said waving. "sorry to interrupt." she turned to his sister and gave her best attempt at a warm smile. "hi, i'm lana. you must be derek's sister. it's nice to meet you." she stood next to derek and patted him on the shoulder. "derek and i work together. speaking of..." she said and looked at him, implying that they were going to work together now. AND SELL YOU OFF TO THE DEVIL

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY THE DEAD WEATHER

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[derek oliver stanwood]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #000000 solid 30px; ] Somebody help me sing Can anybody hear me? OUTFIT: DEREK, MEG. TAGGED: delana! --- THERE WAS ALWAYS A BUZZING IN HIS EAR WHEN THINGS got bad. A low pitched buzzing that the young man heard consistently whenever he felt overwhelmed in his own mind. Why? He didn't know really. He had the buzzing since he was a kid. Honestly, it really only started after he was thrown into the cellar. It was so quiet and dark down there sometimes his mind would listen to the weird resonance in people's ears drums and just focus on that buzzing so his senses could attach to something, anything. It was as though he trained himself to latch onto that resonance when he was stressed and so now, he could hear that buzzing again and again. It may have been a self defense mechanism once upon a time but now with the amount of noise his own mind was making, the buzzing was just frustrating. Everything was just confusing. He was not used to moral grey area. He looked at Meg and wished as hard as he could that she would just disappear. Was it okay for him to do bad things if he was doing it to protect her? Even more complicated a question, was it okay for Lana to do bad things to protect herself? Was it okay if Derek was not a complete ass to her or would that be betraying his principals? Or was everything he had ever believed about honor, bravery, morality, goodness, was all of that just idealistic bullshit and none of it mattered? And if those things didn't matter, did that mean his eight months in the cellar, in the darkness, dehydrated, starving, completely alone, was that for nothing? Was he actually worth this little? Derek hung his head slightly as Lana came up to them before sighing silently and straightening up. Meg looked at Derek a bit suspiciously before turning her head to the new girl coming up to them and holy wow was this other girl stunning. She didn't know whether she be confused or give her twin brother a high five. "sorry to interrupt." Meg shook her head, "You weren't interrupting." Meg replied with a small smile. She glanced up at Derek who was avoiding eye contact with both of the girls, starring into the distance a bit, his mind reciting curse words repeatedly. He had forced himself to try to understand Lana a bit more than he knew. She was nice to him when all of the others were busy tap dancing, with some impressive skill, on top of his face. He still held by his words in the room that day though. Lana and him were far from friends. In fact, Derek just felt sorry for her. She didn't seem to understand the definition of 'friend.' If she had been his friend, she would have let him go. She would have let him go, let him disappear, she could have come with. With all she had seen, my guess is she could have put a lot of the fucking Russians away for life or at least deported back to Russia. Either way, her definition of 'friend' seemed to be 'anyone you don't completely hate'. He might have killed her if he ever found out she considered Staz a friend instead of her slave driver. Meg look back at Lana, "hi, i'm lana. you must be derek's sister. it's nice to meet you." Meg tilted her head to the side slightly and smiled, "Meg, and you too. Glad to see my brother's actually socializing." Derek rolled his eyes and scoffed slightly, "Yeah that's it." He muttered sarcastically under his breath. He shook his head, he did not want any of the Russians even looking at Meg, let alone speaking to her, even if it was Lana. "derek and i work together. speaking of..." He stepped forward as soon as he felt Lana's hand on his shoulder and grabbed Meg's hands, "Look you just go okay?" his tone calm but his eyes practically begging her to get the hell away from him, "Go be with your people and I promise I'll give you a call." Meg frowned but nodded, "Fine... It was nice to meet you Lana, I should go though, I have work as well." Meg said with a small smile and wave as she backed up before turning around and making her way towards her car parked down the street. Derek turned and looked at Lana. "So what? The waiting for the call, was that part of the torture? I was almost naive enough to believe you people had forgotten about me." He spoke annoyed. He walked back over to her and dug his hands into his pockets, "So... what now?" Liars & lovers combine tonight We're gonna make a scene

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BIFFY CLYRO

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[milana anya lutrova]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #230807 solid 30px; ] I'D LIKE TO GRAB YOU BY THE HAIR OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEREK --- EVEN though derek's sister told lana that she wasn't interrupting anything, the awkward silence that followed told lana that she did. but meg was nice as she introduced herself, and she reminded lana of snow white. lana smiled when meg said she was glad to see her brother socializing. derek wasn't looking at either of them, but when lana mentioned that they had to go work, he said meg had to go. he was saying goodbye to her like some russian might come out of one of the apartments and shoot her right here on the spot. "it was nice to meet you too," lana said. she was actually kind of jealous. she was always jealous when she saw families together. even siblings. how different could it of been if she had a brother or sister looking out for her. or even lana looking out for them. but she just internally shook her head. she needed to stop coming up with these 'what if' scenarios because the more she dreamed them up, the more depressed she got. "So what? The waiting for the call, was that part of the torture? I was almost naive enough to believe you people had forgotten about me." lana frowned. "'you people?' don't loop me in with them." she shook her head because she knew he would argue that she was just like them, even though she wasn't. "whatever, i haven't made a run since we last talked. besides, would you really want a call from me if it wasn't for a job?" seriously. she didn't need to call him and ask how he was doing and what he did that day. no, this was business. she was on edge. it wasn't his fault, she was just in that mood for the past couple days and she couldn't shake it. she just tried thinking that next week would be better. maybe things with her affectionate fan would simmer down, and maybe staz would stop acting like an asshole. right now, she just had to focus on the task at hand. it wasn't the job, it was teaching derek. she knew that this might be difficult because she had been working on her own for so long that it was weird to have a second person tagging along. he wasn't her partner. you needed trust to be a partner and since neither of them trusted the other, she still was going to mostly look out for herself. but this time, nothing was going to go wrong in this operation. and if it did, she was going to blame him. "So... what now?" lana put her sunglasses back over her eyes. "you have a car? we'll get there faster if you drive. we're going to go down to the docks. pick up a shipment," she explained crossing her hands across her chest and waited for derek to start moving. "if you want to know," she said, "we'll be handling guns this time. i usually deal with drugs, but this one is somewhat of a special case." she started following derek to his car. this time the guns were being delivered to some big wig politician in valkyrie. some public figure that appeared like the messiah in front of crowds, but really, lana knew that she delivered guns to him every now and again. "when we pick up the guns we got to deliver them as well." mr. oswald, the politician, always had to sign off on her deliveries. she was surprised that she didn't have some assistant do it for him, but he just liked to make sure it was accurate and no one undercover or something like that. when derek and she delivered the guns to his house, he'd probably ask about derek. she'd just have to say he was some trainee or something. she didn't want people to know derek was stuck on her because he was originally some snitch that the bratva forced him to work for him. lana knew that if they didn't threaten meg, derek probably would have gone to the police because of his self-righteousness. despite the fact that she couldn't trust him, he was both stupid and brave in her eyes. and those words tended to go hand-in-hand when dealing with criminals. "there's nothing to really worry about. we pick up the guns and we take the guns to a house." she tried to smile encouragingly, but she doubt she did much. there was nothing like doing your first job for the bratva. it can easily change you. AND SELL YOU OFF TO THE DEVIL

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY THE DEAD WEATHER

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[derek oliver stanwood]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #000000 solid 30px; ] Somebody help me sing Can anybody hear me? OUTFIT: DEREK, TAGGED: delana! --- SOME PEOPLE MAY CALL DEREK SELF-RIGHTEOUS. And they would probably be right. But think about what self-righteous means. Self-righteous means that you stand up for what you think is right and judge others for their moral indiscretions, but more than that, a self-righteous person believes that they are always right on those moral grounds, and that is what makes them so frustrating to people. But at the end of the day, EVERYONE think's that their own ideas on right and wrong were that the right ones. Everyone thinks they're right when they believe something like that. Hitler was evil but he believed he was doing the right thing, and standing up for it and not listening when people told him he was actually wrong. Therefore he was self-righteous. But at the same time Gandhi thought he was doing the right thing and stood up against the oppressors, he wouldn't listen when others told him he was wrong. Therefore, Gandhi was also self-righteous. In reality, the term was not a negative or a positive one, because at the end of the day anyone on the planet who stood up against something they believed was wrong, or stood up for something they believed was right, and refused to back down, all of those people counted as self-righteous. So someone calling Derek didn't bother him because what it took him to mean, especially since Derek's a peaceful guy, all it meant to him was that he was getting under their skin a bit, and if anything he said bothered them, they should feel uncomfortable. Alex was never offended by any judgmental statement he had ever made, neither had Artie, neither had Meg and... wow he needed some male friends. "'you people?' don't loop me in with them." Derek rolled his eyes. He hadn't meant it so much in the way that she was like them. "whatever, i haven't made a run since we last talked. besides, would you really want a call from me if it wasn't for a job?" He scoffed slightly, "I didn't mean you were like them, but you are one of them." He replied plainly. He paused a moment and sighed, "I will be too after today." He muttered a bit softer. He was not looking forward to this. Even if all he had to do was stand on a corner and whistle when he saw a cop coming or something like that, nope, he was still scared shitless right now. Not so much worried about being killed or anything like that but more terrified of the people he might be hurting as he "helped" out. He was worried about his own conscious killing him in his sleep and even more scared that his conscious had ever right to because it was acting in self-defense. "you have a car? " Derek's mind snapped out of it's own little world of thought and woke up a bit as it heard Lana mention some type of shipment. Oh okay, delivery boy, like medical supplies since the can't go to the hospital with most gunshot wounds? Yeah, that he could do, he thought to himself knowing full well the likelihood of him and Lana being sent to pick up bandaids. He nodded. "Yeah it's..." He pointed over his shoulder to the car behind him. It was nothing special or impressive. Basic four door he bought used from some kid in college. It ran well enough. He turned towards the car as Lana approached, but stopped as he heard her say guns. Guns? As in... real guns. To kill people with? To kill people with because they happen to see a crime being committed, kill people because they don't have enough money to pay for "protection" with extortion. And suddenly a knot formed tightly into Derek's stomach as he opened his car door and unlocked the others so Lana could get in. "there's nothing to really worry about. we pick up the guns and we take the guns to a house." Hmm... he must have looked as sick to his stomach as he had felt. He grimaced as he got into the car. "Yeah, nothing to worry about, just delivering guns into the hands of killers. No big deal." He replied, his tone laced with both sarcasm and worry. "Bloody hell, why couldn't have been medical supplies? Bastards bleed too right?" He added a bit quieter again, speaking rhetorically. Liars & lovers combine tonight We're gonna make a scene

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BIFFY CLYRO

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[milana anya lutrova]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #230807 solid 30px; ] I'D LIKE TO GRAB YOU BY THE HAIR OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEREK --- DEREK may think he was going to be "one of them" after today, but lana was always keeping him away at arm's length. lana was a russian before she had to do anything for them. if this was the worse derek had to do, he was looking pretty good. she could argue. she could say that until she was making deliveries in the dirtiest neighborhoods of moscow and dealing with the crooked of cops in st. petersburg. despite being told they need to be aware of the cops in america, valkyrie was a piece of cake. mostly because the cops here, for the most part, followed the rules. there were more good cops here than there were bad cops. but anyway, lana still kinda felt bad for him because he was "good." he'd been just doing his own thing and his bad luck was when he witnessed a crime taking place. lana had been long since damaged even before she had started to work for them. it was weird. at first, she felt like derek because she was forced to work for the bratva. but eventually, she just became used to it. lana definitely knew she wasn't being forced to do anything anymore. she did it because it was her job. twisted how warped that sense of ethic changed over the years. she noticed derek looked rather scared when she mentioned that they were delivering guns. she got in the car when he unlocked her side of the door and got in. "well, they're aren't loaded guns right now," she said with a shrug, though she doubted that he cared, because they were still illegal. lana didn't think of them like that anymore. they were just products that she delivered. she always wondered what would happen if she was caught one day. she was chased in russia once, but nothing came of it. by the time the cop caught up with her, she didn't have the drugs on her because she dropped them. so he couldn't arrest her. of course lana knew if she was ever brought in for questioning she would deny everything and claim she didn't know anything or never heard of the people they'd mention to her. that was the thing with organizations, what was worse than going to jail, was going to jail as a rat. she would be dead within the day. lana wondered if derek knew that. because one he was "one of them" now, the same rules applied to him as well. lana laughed when he said why they weren't delivering medical supplies. "yeah, but those bastards have doctors on their payroll." it was true, every organization had a doctor, because shit happens and most of the time, the person hurt was probably wanted for some crime or questioning in a crime so hospitals weren't an option. "but anyway, head towards the docks," she said and put on the seat belt. lana really didn't know what to say to him other than directions. it was clear that this was the last place he wanted to be, but she didn't even know if he wanted to talk to her. maybe after today he'd be able to stand her a little more. "your sister seems nice," she mentioned while watching the houses pass them. even if her superiors threatened to kill her and that's why he was doing all this. "i wish i had someone who'd do something like this for me." lana twirled a strand of her hair around her finger as they got closer to the docks. they'd have to go into the marina and go to the boat that had the goods. "ok, ok, stop here," she said after a few minutes. she waited for derek to turn off the ignition. "look, derek. i can see you're nervous. but today all you really have to do is follow me. you'll see how deal are done and maybe when staz thinks i don't have to babysit you anymore, you'll be able to do stuff for the bratva on your own." she took off her seat belt and got out of the car. "but until then just follow my lead." she squinted her eyes over the gate where boats were kept. every time she came here it was a different boat, but was always named zaika which was a russian name for little rabbit. "just help me find a boat that's called zaika." she told him and opened the gate. AND SELL YOU OFF TO THE DEVIL

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY THE DEAD WEATHER

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[derek oliver stanwood]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #000000 solid 30px; ] Somebody help me sing Can anybody hear me? OUTFIT: DEREK, TAGGED: delana! --- DEREK DIDN'T WANT TO LIKE LANA AS A PERSON. That was the real truth. So far, she seemed like someone he would get along with. And he knew she was being forced into this. I guess it was the fact that she seemed comfortable, even in her practical enslavement. Logically he knew it was probably because she had simply been at it so long she was numbed but at the same time, Derek did not like that she was numbed to what was happening. He did not like that she got used to it, because he never wanted to be numb. He never wanted to be used to something he knew in his heart was wrong. It was one thing if you're living on the street and are a thief to live. It was another to organize, steal, murder, rape, extort, and all for what? Greed? Power? These people were connected to Human trafficking. Steal kids, and women and forcing them into sex slavery, it made him physically sick that he would help them open a jar of pickles, let alone delivery guns into the hands of men who would use them against others all for the sake of earning a buck. Call him idealistic, call him a child. Go ahead. But these men resort to glorified hissy fits if someone even looked at them wrong. They were worse than children. They were shells of what used to be humans, dead children with bombs and guns. So what if Derek believed in goodness? So what if he believed in right and wrong and the courage to stand up for the right? So what if he was outdated. There are certain things a person should believe in whether they are true or not. Things like humanity, and kindness, courage and compassion, Friends and family. that they mean everything. Believe that money, apart from what it takes to get by, believe that money means nothing, that its worthless, believe that Power is just a bunch of dead heads with their panties in a bunch. These are things that if someone believes they are true about the world, they become true, at least in the way you live your life. He didn't know how long he could do this before he had to do something, take action somehow. Probably brave and stupid, just like that bloody asshat from the hotel said. "well, they're aren't loaded guns right now," Derek scoffed slightly, "That wasn't really my problem, it was who the guns are going to that worry me." Derek glanced over at Lana briefly as he pulled out of the parking lot. Honestly, guns didn't freak him out that much. Granted he thought they were a horrible invention but it was more the misuse of guns that worried him. And that Wisconsin, Illinois and Iowa, put together, have more guns registered to civilians than the entire German armed forces (true and terrifying statistic I learned in my human rights class). Derek sighed silently as he turned right to head towards the docks as she asked. Hopefully they could dump them overboard and no one would notice. "your sister seems nice," Derek scoffed as she began "i wish i had someone who'd do something like this for me." He shook his head, "Please, Don't." He said firmly. "Don't try to fool me into thinking any of this is okay or normal or less serious than it is by using small talk. I might be idealistic but I'm not a dumbass." Nothing against Lana but his sister was off the table of discussion whenever he was around this business, whenever he was around them, even if the them in the situation was Lana. He didn't want Meg's even theoretical presence around this. Besides, it honestly just felt like she was trying to handle him by idle, semi-sincere bullshit chit chatting and he was far from interested, whether she meant it like that or not. Derek pulled over the car when she asked. He turned off the ignition and very suddenly went from having a stress headache to feeling like he was going to vomit. He turned his head towards Lana as she acknowledged his nerves. "you'll be able to do stuff for the bratva on your own." Derek watched her as she unbuckled and got out of the car. He ran a hand through his hair and got out of the car himself. "but until then just follow my lead." Derek rolled his eyes but followed her, at least his feet did. "for the record, it doesn't matter to me whether i'm alone or with you, its still extortion. There is no better with them" Following her lead? He would end up numb and complacent. He didn't want to be anything close to that. zaika? He looked at her confused, "Bunny? Really?" what? he knew a couple Russian words. He read a lot. He rolled his eyed and nodded, "Fine, cyrillic or latin script?" He asked, his eyes looking around at the boats. Liars & lovers combine tonight We're gonna make a scene

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BIFFY CLYRO

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[milana anya lutrova]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #230807 solid 30px; ] I'D LIKE TO GRAB YOU BY THE HAIR OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEREK NOTES: oh you know those russian translation are probably butchered xD --- SHE had a feeling that he wasn't going to like her mentioning his sister. when her father was alive, he never liked people mentioning her either. other criminals mentioning someone close to you usually was viewed as a threat, a reminder that they knew who you were close to. lana was in the room when derek was threatened to work for the bratva by using his sister. but soon, derek would realize how low on the food chain lana was in the bratva. there were soldiers, and then there was her. she was so far off on the radius of membership in the bratva, though she was still considered one. also probably didn't help that she was... associated with staz. for some backwards meaning, he trusted her, and other people knew that. and those people that knew just did not understand. by the book, she was a criminal. she transported illegal goods within the country. that was what a criminal was; one who broke the rules. however, she wasn't violent, she had never been in a fight, never had to use force, and most of all, she hadn't killed someone. she couldn't pick and choose what a criminal was, but she really wasn't a threat. at all. she just decided not to respond to him. yeah. it wasn't "normal" for him, but she had been doing this for the past seven years. this was her "normal." but it seemed like this entire time she would have to work with him he'd be carrying around his 'i'm so almighty' personality. she had called it. she knew he would be a problem. he was just too good. this job would either break him or kill him if he continued to view this all as immorally wrong. "for the record, it doesn't matter to me whether i'm alone or with you, its still extortion. There is no better with them" lana rolled her eyes even if her back was to him. "and it's illegal and bad and immoral and everything you were told was wrong growing up," she rambled on and waved a hand, "trust me, i know. i was told the same things. you don't have to agree with it, derek, but when you're doing it you got to accept it. do you not know your arrogant assumptions of this business radiates off you like the sun? suppliers are not blind to that. so just swallow your pride for five minutes and do the job. you can complain all you want when we get back to the car." she crossed her arms across her chest as she looked for the boat. she was mildly surprised derek knew what the russian word meant. "script," she replied. took about another minute until she spotted it and she nodded towards it. "over there." the zaika wasn't a large boat. just big enough to have a downstairs where the supplies were held. "Алло? Это мне, Милана," (Hello? It's me, Milana.) she called out as she stepped onto the boat. she could hear a couple of coughs from below before sasha opened up the door and pulled himself on the deck. a cigarette hung on his lips and he scratched his head as if he just woke up. he was the usual supplier and lana liked him because he was closer to her age, and sasha's father could be mean on days he decided to stop drinking. "Милана," (Milana,) he said smiling and removing his cigarette from his lips, which now lana could tell was a joint. she wasn't surprised. then his eyes fell on derek who had been standing behind her. "Кто является этот мальчик?" (who is the boy?) sasha asked. "derek. he's new," she said. sasha nodded before motioning them down the stairs. "come on. i got your stuff down here," sasha said and hopped down the stairs. for being russian, he sure was able to slip into the persona of a california boy. his long blonde hair and tanned skin made him look more american than a foreigner. lana started following sasha down the stairs, but looked behind her to make sure derek was following, too. the bottom of the boat was dimly lit. a sharp contrast to the bright afternoon. "your councilman sure likes his hardware," sasha told them. lying out on a table were five m-16 rifles and six ak-47s. the usual for mr. oswald. sasha had always laid them out for her so she could count them before he packed them up. sasha held out his joint to derek. "want a hit? relax those first day on the job jitters?" sasha asked. it was funny because sasha was actually genuine about the offer. one of the few of her usually suppliers that was actually really nice. "ok. everything looks good here," lana said. sasha nodded and started packing them into a duffel bag. he zipped it up and started handing it to her, but she shook her head. "just give it to him," she said cocking her head towards derek and she dug in her purse for the envelope of money to give to sasha. "Приятно деловые отношения с вами как всегда, Солнечного Света." (pleasure doing business with you, as always sunshine.) sasha said and accepted the envelope she offered him. "and good luck, man." he nodded towards derek. milana turned to face derek and said. "lead the way out." AND SELL YOU OFF TO THE DEVIL

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY THE DEAD WEATHER

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[derek oliver stanwood]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #000000 solid 30px; ] Somebody help me sing Can anybody hear me? OUTFIT: DEREK, TAGGED: delana! --- HE WOULD FIND A WAY OUT OF THIS SITUATION. He had to. You see, while it angered him to help profit a group that kidnapped kids and women into sex slavery and human trafficking, disgusted him actually. Another reason it got into his bones was that Derek had a fear of being trapped, that fear was stronger than anything he had ever felt and all he wanted... all he had wished was that he had never left Europe. He never wanted to come here in the first place. He was different from his sister. Meg had wanted to know her real parents her entire life. She had wanted this picture perfect family that she never had since she was a young kid but Derek? Derek had learned a long time ago that family that's willing to throw you away is not real family, they're just genetically similar. Real family are the people who were there for you. For Derek, that had once upon a time been Meg. She was the only family he had ever had. They're adoptive parents died when they were four. He had been told they were loving but he couldn't remember them. All he remembered of the Stanwoods was the smell of their house. It smelt like a house should, but he could not even remember what they looked like. In the orphanage he got into trouble constantly for taking the blame away from the other kids, knowing the abusive punishments dealt out. But despite getting a thank you here or there, he barely ever had any friends, especially no friends who had grown into family. After the cellar incident he was placed at Seven Oaks for "Hard to place" kids, also known as kids who had been left so many times or abused so badly they had issues. That was where he eventually met Meg. She became his first friend before they found out they were twins. And then she became his sister and after they turned 18, all she could think about was coming to California to find their birth parents, the Andersons. He didn't want to know them but he didn't want to lose Meg and she was coming no matter what. So he followed. And honestly, apart from meeting Alex, nothing good has seemed to come from it. Meg and him are barely speaking. Yeah, she was a star, great but while the US may have the CW, the UK has the BBC, she could have done something there. Their father told them the truth, which just caused more abandonment issues. Filled Derek with more guilt and anger. The thing he didn't understand was that Derek had been poor his whole life. He had been badly abused and surrounded by criminals whether it be on the bad side of London or in Valkyrie, and yet he still so strongly believed with every fiber of his being that most crime was wrong, when others grew up in similar ways, or with even less drama and grew up to be killers or sex slave traders, muggers, dealers and more. How was that possible? And the only answer he had was that when he was a kid, it was reading about nobility and honor that got his head away from reality. Nobility as in the quality not the bloodline. Derek listened as Lana snapped at him. "when you're doing it you got to accept it. do you not know your arrogant assumptions of this business radiates off you like the sun?" If you are in a situation long enough you begin to become numb. In the darkness of that cellar, after his body got used to being in a starving state, he began to stop feeling the hunger. But in it's place he felt emptiness, weakness, depression, and most of all, fear. Part of him knew this must have been what happened to Lana, she had been a part of it so long she accepted it as her life. Derek never would though. He would fight and find a way out or die before he was able to be so broken. He sighed and nodded, disagreeing with pretty much everything she said but knowing she was right on one aspect. "You're right, sorry." He said plainly, his accent hanging on his tone strongly, "I mean, you're mostly wrong but you're right that as of the current moment, I just need to..." Derek's voice faded, not quite sure of the words he was looking for. "... shut up." He added in conclusion, looking at the boats along the docks intently. Derek followed Lana as she spotted the ship and they made their way over. He stepped off of the dock onto the boat and in his head couldn't help but make a casual comment on how depressing it was that THIS was his first time on an actual boat before. Derek put his hands to his sides and just tried not to look like someone who should be shot. He glanced at Lana as she spoke out in russian before some surfer looking guy came up with a smile and a joint. Derek glanced back at the shore before turning his eyes back to the man as he spoke to Lana, looking at Derek briefly before Lana said his name. Derek nodded to the man, "Nice to meet you" He said politely, his voice surprisingly steady despite the bitch fit going on in his head, why was it nice to meet the man? he wasn't sure, habit of manners. Derek followed the man and Lana down to the lower level of the boat. Derek glanced around the small room briefly before giving his attention back to Lana and the man. He glanced at the guns and did his best to just look back at the man and not react. "want a hit? relax those first day on the job jitters?" Was this guy kidding? Derek forced a small but convincing chuckle, "No thanks, I'm pretty set." The next thing Derek knew he was being handed the duffle with the guns in them. He hung it on his shoulder and Lana was handing the man what Derek could only assume was money. He nodded as the man wished him luck and as he turned to leave on Lana's word, Derek forced a small smirk and raised his hand as a half wave, "Спасибо" he said thanks in russian before finishing up the stairs to the upper deck and making his way off the boat. He shifted the weight of the bag on his shoulders as he made his way off the dock before just exhaling a large sigh of relief. He looked down at the bag before looking over his shoulder, remembering Lana. He saw her and nodded, "So tell me the truth, " He began seriously, "Are these currently loaded? because I think I'm going to vomit." Liars & lovers combine tonight We're gonna make a scene

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BIFFY CLYRO

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[milana anya lutrova]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #230807 solid 30px; ] I'D LIKE TO GRAB YOU BY THE HAIR OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEREK NOTES: --- --- SHE decided that she hated working with someone else. then she decided she hated staz for giving derek to her. derek was going to be the guy that gets lana killed somewhere down the line. he'd drop the ball on something and she'd end up dead. lana crossed her arms closely against her chest. the more she was thinking about this, the more angry she had become. in an hour they would be done with this and she could go back to the inferno and watch some tv or something else she could do and not think about guns, russians, and jobs. they walked up to the deck and off the boat. if he was freaking out now, she had no idea how he would react to the next part. pick ups were the easiest part. it was the deliveries that were a little more stressful and tense. she knew her suppliers. mostly because most of them were fellow russians. clients though, the only relationship she had with them was a business one, she knew they could be a little touchy when it came to money and their products. and, she never trusted her clients fully. a good dealer never did. she looked back at derek when he told sasha thanks in russian. "look at you," she said getting off the boat and back on the docks. "you might just be fluent by the time you finish working here." they started walking next to each other as they made their way back to his car. "So tell me the truth," she looked over at him when he asked her if the guns were loaded. lana shrugged. "maybe we should take one out, aim it at you, and pull the trigger. we'll see what happens." she took her sunglasses off from the top of her head and fitted them over her eyes again. "no. they're not loaded. ammo is a separate transaction altogether. they are harmless at this point," she said, telling him the truth. lana ran a hand through her hair as they approached his car again. "just put them in your backseat," she said and got into the passenger side. she waited for him to get in as well and start the car. "i know you're familiar with valkyrie. and we're delivering these guns to someone on the city council. so try not to... just pretend he's someone normal." lana didn't know any of valkyrie's prominent figures when she got here. she just learned that the mayor got arrested. if there were politics, there was always a handful of politicians that were above the law in some way. she had always been aware that most of her clients in russia had been dirty public figures. she wasn't surprised valkyrie was the same way. but she just wanted to prepare derek considering he thought the guns were loaded. she told him the address to the house they had to go to. she knew she was being nasty towards him, and if they were working together last week, she wouldn't be so short with him. lana looked over at him as he drove to the house. "look. i'm sorry that i haven't been that nice. i just haven't been in the greatest of moods the couple past days." they turned onto the street. "you're doing ok. the police haven't pulled us over, so we've been doing good." the house was quite large. the big doors, windows, and the few garage doors just made it look like royalty lived in it. and she knew that the councilman had a family, but they were never around when she came by. "park here," she told him, a few houses down. lana didn't know what kind of business he had running in his house or why he needed the guns. she actually didn't care. as long as she got the money, it didn't matter. he had a couple bigger guys that always greeted her at the door. they looked like bouncer at a club, just more professional and intimidating looking. "they're going to search us. make sure we aren't wearing a wire or carrying our own guns. so... don't freak. ok?" AND SELL YOU OFF TO THE DEVIL

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY THE DEAD WEATHER

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[derek oliver stanwood]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #000000 solid 30px; ] Somebody help me sing Can anybody hear me? OUTFIT: DEREK, TAGGED: delana! --- IT WAS STRANGE. Derek was not a good liar, he never had been before, but then, of course, he had always usually cared about the people he was lying to. Derek thought he would be a mess once he had the guns and while his nerves had made him nauseous, over all, he had not been as frightened as he thought he would be. Nervous, not frightened. It was not something he was expecting. Don't get him wrong, this did not mean that he was okay with it or this or anything but it did surprise him. Unsettled him a bit. He should have been frightened. Maybe with a different person. This man they had just gone to had not come off as threatening, he seemed to be cheerful, although perhaps from the drugs, but he had not come across as the stone cold killer the man in the hotel room seemed to be. He didn't even come across as a cruel lackey as the two men who kidnapped him back on that fateful day. The nausea almost seemed to come from guilt more than anything else. His mind swam, wondering and worry about why that was not as hard to handle as he thought it should have been. It was treated so casually, or at least this transaction. Working for or with murders and the weapons they use to kill and they acted like they were buy and selling a used couch from off a craigslist advertisement. Derek just focused on moving his feet to get off the boat and back onto the docks. He shifted the weight of the bag on his shoulder. It was not really that heavy though. He looked back over at his shoulder back at the boat named after the furry woodland cuddly animal. He hoped they were going for irony there. His blue eyes reflecting the light a little bit as the dark blue rose, he turned around. Despite the vibrant color, his eyes looked a bit... sad. Not angry, not dead, just sad. "you might just be fluent by the time you finish working here." Derek looked at Lana as she spoke but took his eyes away afterwards. He shook his head, "I know very few basics, and a few random vocabulary words, and I don't plan on being here long enough to truly pick up the rest." He replied, casual but honest. He was not sure how, but he would find a way out of it. He was a smart guy. He was a decent problem solver and he might not have much money or anything, but he was going to find a way out. He was not staying here with them like Lana had. And he understood she was a kid when it began, basically brain washed into compliance. But he was determined and he was an adult, they weren't going to break him. Derek just looked at her as she suggested they pull a gun out and test it on him, "Funny." He said sarcastically, nodding as she continued to explain that they were not in fact loaded. He glanced down at the bag in his hand and bounced it a little by shifty the weight of it in his hand. He looked back up at her as the walked back to the car. He opened the trunk door and placed the bag inside neatly, as instructed before shutting the lid. He could see Lana get into the passengers seat. He exhaled deeply as she shut the door. He just paused for a moment, trying to get out of his own head. It was hard for Derek to even believe he was doing anything with them. He looked at the back of Lana's head through the back window of the cheap car. It must be difficult, working for the people who murdered her father. Derek was not sure he could have had the strength to live through it. He may have taken his own life. He bite the inside of his lip and looked down at the ground before walking around to the side and getting behind the wheel. "i know you're familiar with valkyrie. and we're delivering these guns to someone on the city council. so try not to... just pretend he's someone normal." Derek glanced at her as he started the engine up, he shrugged, "Don't really pay attention to the politics, so we're fine. Always assumed they were dirty anyways." He added as an after thought as he pulled out and away from the docks. Derek headed towards the address she gave him. The car was fairly quiet. "look. i'm sorry that i haven't been that nice. i just haven't been in the greatest of moods the couple past days." Derek chuckled slightly as he made a left into one of the neighborhoods, "you're doing ok. the police haven't pulled us over, so we've been doing good." Derek glanced over at her briefly before putting his eyes back on the road. "Lana, you're practically a cupcake of sweetness compared to the other Russians I've met, I wasn't expecting you to be happy babysitting." He replied, taking a right to pull onto the street he kept his eyes out for the numbers. He parked at the space Lana instructed but before getting out of the car he looked at her, "I should apologize too." He told her, surprising himself. "I was a bit judgmental of you going along with it to save yourself. I am doing this for my sister but by judging you... It was like I was saying your life wasn't as important as her's and..." Yeah he didn't know what he was trying to say. He was not good at apologizing. "I suppose self preservation is one of the more natural instincts anyways." He finished, his tone staying sincere but trying to be casual at the same time. He looked over at the house and undid his seat belt. He nodded as she explained about the patting down. He had gotten random searches at airports, he figured he could handle this. He got out of the car and began walking towards the house, gesturing for Lana to take the lead. Liars & lovers combine tonight We're gonna make a scene

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BIFFY CLYRO

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[milana anya lutrova]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #230807 solid 30px; ] I'D LIKE TO GRAB YOU BY THE HAIR OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEREK NOTES: - --- "LANA, you're practically a cupcake of sweetness compared to the other Russians I've met, I wasn't expecting you to be happy babysitting." she looked at him from the corner of her eye. no one said that to her before... why would they anyway? yeah, she knew she wasn't a ruthless warrior no would she ever be. she never talked back to anyone with higher rank than her, which was pretty much everyone she was in contact with. except for staz, of course. derek then took his turn to apologize to her for judging her. "i appreciate it. just remember me as a cupcake then," she said with a nod. little did he know... her father's business with the bratva is just the tip of the iceberg in the mess that was her history. she was confident that the more he would find out, the less he would like her. and that was the truth. yeah, she might not have blood on her hands, but everything else was just... lana was almost kind of ashamed of it. lana knew she had long since paid off her father's debt, but she was still here, just never mentioned it to anyone. staz said never mentioned anything either so she just got... comfortable. yeah, she was friends, (or whatever,) with the guy that won against her father in russian roulette. that was messed up, and she felt guilty about it sometimes, and felt like she was betraying her father's name at times. but she didn't want to think about staz right now, because if she did, she'd just get pissed again and take it out on derek like she had been all afternoon. lana mentioned who they would search them for wires because she would not be surprised if he was wearing one. thinking he could do some vigilante stuff and get out of this contract he has with the russians now. that was the thing though. you had to trust your partner. and clearly, they didn't trust each other. maybe, maybe, they would both eventually get there, but lana wanted to know someone had her back when they were doing their jobs. she wasn't about to land herself in prison because of someone she didn't trust. not to mention the absolutely worse thing that could happen to her at this point was to be sent back to russia. she shuddered at the thought. it was her home and everything, but lana didn't want to work there again. she liked to work in america. she had more freedom here. never in russia would she have been allowed to get a job outside of the business. then again, back there she traveled all over. her entire life was here at the inferno. she work there, lived there, and strangely, felt safe there. they got out of the car and they started walking up the hill to the house a few houses up. "you're not doing that bad today, anyway. i mean, you're uneasy about all this, but you're doing fine," she said offering words of encouragement. lana was being truthful though. it wasn't that bad like she thought it was going to be. even with their apologizing, maybe they would gain an understanding of each other at the very least. she knew there was going to be harder jobs they would have to do together. she wondered how long they would be working together, or how long the russians would keep a leash on him. at least he was opinionated, so he probably wouldn't ever end up like her, seven years later and still doing the same bullshit. no, he'd probably get out eventually, move on, and just try to put this stint in his life behind him. the houses here weren't the rolling hills and mansions that she had seen more uptown, but you could see the wealth that was put into these ones. lana and derek reached the house of the councilmen and walked up the stairs. she rang the doorbell and waited. she looked down at her watch. right around her usual time she was here, so she knew the councilman's bodyguard or adviser - whatever, would be down here to greet her. the door opened and price greeted her at the door. he was in his thirties, who looked like an employee treated well with the way he looked and presented himself. his eyes looked beyond her shoulder and to derek who was standing behind her. "i thought you worked alone," he said to her with a tone that was anything but a question. "he's new, and he's with me. if you have a problem, take it up with ivan," she stated back. ivan was her avtorityet, so she typically answered to him. price looked at her, derek, and then the street like there would be some unmarked cop car hanging out. seemingly satisfied, he motioned for them to get inside. price instructed for derek to set the duffel on the table in the foyer. alan, the other employee that showed his face during these transactions appeared from a side room. he went over to the bag to inspect the product. they didn't do it because they suspected lana wasn't truthful about something, they just wanted to see what they were buying. neither of them spoke until she and derek were searched. since she wasn't really wearing layers today, her pat down was a quick pat on her jean shorts, across her torso for no wires, and a look into her purse. once he was satisfied with derek, price spoke. "so, the ammo shipment is coming next week?" lana nodded. "yeah. it's on it's way, just haven't received it yet. everything look good?" she asked. price looked over at alan who nodded and started unloading the guns into another bag and replaced what was in their duffel with scrap metal piping. these guys were always so paranoid. they didn't want someone be seen coming into the house with a bag an leave without one. price pulled out an envelope from inside his suit jacket pocket and handed it to her. "see you next week then. usual time." alan handed the bag back to derek. and price led them back out the door. she did wonder why they needed guns, but it wasn't her job to know what clients did with their products. "well, that was your first run. not too bad, right?" she asked derek. AND SELL YOU OFF TO THE DEVIL

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY THE DEAD WEATHER

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[derek oliver stanwood]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #000000 solid 30px; ] Somebody help me sing Can anybody hear me? OUTFIT: DEREK, TAGGED: delana! --- DEREK LIVED HIS LIFE with an inordinate amount of conviction. It could be exhausting at times but he did not know how else to live. He did not have it in him to see a person getting hurt and to look the other way. He did not have it in him to pretend things were alright and be happy and friendly when things were clearly not right. He did not have it in him to be idle while things were being done. It might be difficult to a broken person to understand but there it was. WHen he had first met Lana, she had asked him why he testified knowing the dangers of it. All he had been able to give as a reason was, what else could he had done? And that was truly how he had felt and thought about the situation. There was no other choice for him. Call him self righteous all you want but when something wrong is happening, you have to stand up. There is no other choice if you want your soul to remain in tact. If you're a good person, you can make bad decisions. He would not necessarily condemn a person who looked away but there should be guilt if you did. But someone who sees it repeatedly and does nothing to stop the wrongs around them, well, they're either completely broken, as he suspected Lana to be, not that he would tell her that, or they were truly bad people. Either way, the true evil doers are getting away with it. And Derek couldn't think of a world like that, where they got away with everything? He was not naive enough to believe that one day there would be no need for the justice system or that all people could show each other respect, he knew that would never happen. There were new bastards born everyday, but he did like to believe the number could decrease, just as it has the ability to increase as clearly shown by Valkyrie in the past five years. Valkyrie had changed so much and yet, here was Derek. He may be in a new precarious position but at the end of the day, he was who he was five years ago. Except for maybe being a bit more confident after losing his virginity. "i appreciate it. just remember me as a cupcake then," Derek gave a small chuckle and hung his head with a nod, "Will do." He replied before they made their way closer to the house. It was a large house in a nice neighborhood. There, proof that the rich kids where just as fucked. "you're not doing that bad today, anyway. i mean, you're uneasy about all this, but you're doing fine," Derek looked over at Lana. He could tell she was trying to make him feel more comfortable but to tell the truth, he was uncomfortable with the fact that he was doing fine. Instinct to not get bludgeoned again as well as desperation to keep his sister safe was keeping him "well behaved" but the idea that he was able to keep his mouth shut while in these people's presence and pretend it was okay, that bothered him on a level he was not used to. He was not used to looking the other way. This time Derek stayed quiet. He was not interested in these people but mostly, he did not want to speak unless he was spoken to. He remained calm and unnerved as the transaction went down and placed the duffel where they instructed him to before rejoining Lana's side. He kept his shoulders relaxed and did his best to look like nothing was going on inside his head, if not conveying a bit of boredom as though he was being taken around and was bored with running errands. Not that he meant to look like that but he did mean to look casual, which he did. At least this Price guy didn't seem bothered by his presence after a moment. Derek glanced over as they emptied the guns and replaced it with metal piping. He made a mental note of the cleverness and then wanted to punch himself in the face for being even slightly impressed. Derek took the bag as it was handed back to him and as the envelope was handed to Lana. As they exited the house, Derek felt a bit nauseous but kept himself from showing it. He walked back to the car and opened his trunk, tossing the duffel in the back. "well, that was your first run. not too bad, right?" Derek looked at Lana as he shut the trunk door and leaned down on it a bit with his hands. He pursed his lips slightly and glanced down at the trunk before looking back at Lana, "Actually it was worse than I imagined." He said rather plainly but honestly. "It was easy." He added as the explanation to why it was worse. Derek shook his head slightly and ran a hand through his hair before walking around to the front of the car and getting behind the wheel again. He waited for Lana to get in before he put the key's in and started the engine. Resting his hands on the wheel, he looked at Lana again, "We could have just helped innocent people be murdered, and it was easy." He said with a scoff, "and it's not 'that bad'?" He asked, his tone more concerned and calm than angry or accusing. Liars & lovers combine tonight We're gonna make a scene

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BIFFY CLYRO

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