Post by rocco atticus finley on Apr 13, 2012 9:43:26 GMT -6
[atrb=style,width: 500px; background-color: B9B9B9; border: 10px dashed #754A4A; border-right: 15px solid #754A4A; border-left: 15px solid #754A4A; padding: 5px, bTable][th] rocco atticus finley LEADER, CRIMINAL, RYAN REYNOLDS | |
 the basics FULL NAME ROCCO ATTICUS FINLEY AGE & DOB 30 | MARCH 26TH HOMETOWN VALKYRIE, CA ETHNICITY ITALIAN, IRISH, NORWEGIAN LANGUAGES SPOKEN ENGLISH SEXUAL ORIENTATION HETEROSEXUAL HAIR COLOR BROWN EYE COLOR BROWN HEIGHT & WEIGHT 6'3" | 200 DISTINGUISHING MARKS SCAR BENEATH RIGHT SIDE OF THE JAW A DOG WHEN HE WAS A KID, ROMAN NUMERAL TATTOO ON HIS WRIST OF HIS FATHER'S BIRTH AND DEATH. LIKES/DISLIKES classic cars, money, success, outsmarting others, brunettes, lagers, south park, basketball, adrenaline, sex, old school hip hop, my mother and sisters, snapping necks and cashing checks, family guy, anything spicy, challenges, my team/brothers (and sister), explosions, sleep, mom's cakes, espn, revenge. STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES strengths : ability to make quick decisions, looking ahead, sleeping, being able to charm people, lying, athletic, conniving weaknesses: beer, brunettes, my family, always defensive. SECRETS i'd always promised my father the one thing i wouldn't do was end up in jail somehow. he was all for me going in the right direction to support my mom and my sisters, especially when we first found out he was sick, and wanted me to do it in an honorable way since he knew how easy it was to get involved in anything bad in valkyrie. so instead i fulfilled his wish for me and went through the process to become a cop, and had gotten a promotion right before he died to become a swat officer. together me and my partner crawford, were doing ridiculously well on the field and in the process to becoming swat officers and part of a squad. but that's where thing turned. i ended up being framed for drug trafficking and an assault charge against my partner and was sentenced to prison for two years. that was the biggest dishonor i've ever brought to my family. |
PERSONALITY
in general, i'm a simple man. i like simple things like beer, hanging out with the brothers, and morgan and tossing back a few beers at the local bars. otherwise, i'm easy going, i tend to be the voice of the group, thinking logical is very important at all moments so i'm always thinking of a pay-off or how to make sure that our asses are covered, also means keeping us looking as not suspicious as possible on a daily basis. i'm a pretty collected person, except when it comes to jobs then i get neurotic making sure that things are always in our control. but with sharpe around, there's always a plan. i've been told i'm pretty charismatic and convincing, which is a good thing for our situation.
we all grew up pretty well for valkyrie kids, we're all pretty humbled, logical, and despite our 'lifestyle' we have good morals.
we all grew up pretty well for valkyrie kids, we're all pretty humbled, logical, and despite our 'lifestyle' we have good morals.
FAMILY LIFE
army brat kind of kid. my father was my hero, and when he finally came home to stay i coudln't have been happier. we were a sap story for a long time. the picturesque family. naya went on to live a conventional life, getting married, being a nurse but part time soccer mom. tea's the youngest and wildest so she went to LA and is a mildly successful publicist living the young life. she's gonna cry when she hits 30, i know it. and now that dad's gone mom is closer with naya who still lives in town. mom gardens and bakes and takes time with naya's kids and doesn't stop begging me to have some of my own.
PARENTS/SIBLINGS
christian finley - deceased- my father and i have the atypical father/son relationship; close when i was a child, but as i grew up he began to try to train me to be a man and instill in me the typical 'be strong', 'carry the family' kind of thing especially when he got diagnosed. the only thing i'd ever wanted to do was honor him and make him proud and though it was probably the biggest failure of my career, he only saw me in my grace of finally becoming a cop. i'd want that to be how he could remember me.
damiana corello-finley - 52, english teacher, as her only boy, my mother definitely doesn't let me forget the fact. i'm still her little boy in her eyes, she was completely supportive when everything happened with crawford and the sentencing even if my sister's might not have been. i was surprised how strong she was throughout those two years. she made sure to visit me almost every week for those two years, coming in and talking me through things, and even though i told her not to she was adamant about reporting everything about crawford to the cops, and proving my innocence. she was and is there for me.
naya finley, 31, nurse, as my older sister, she does act like an older sister. very much trying to look out for me, hasn't understood that i'm not eleven anymore.
tea finley, 27, publicist, tea's the youngest, she's a wild child. we have that brother-sister relationship that's typical.
damiana corello-finley - 52, english teacher, as her only boy, my mother definitely doesn't let me forget the fact. i'm still her little boy in her eyes, she was completely supportive when everything happened with crawford and the sentencing even if my sister's might not have been. i was surprised how strong she was throughout those two years. she made sure to visit me almost every week for those two years, coming in and talking me through things, and even though i told her not to she was adamant about reporting everything about crawford to the cops, and proving my innocence. she was and is there for me.
naya finley, 31, nurse, as my older sister, she does act like an older sister. very much trying to look out for me, hasn't understood that i'm not eleven anymore.
tea finley, 27, publicist, tea's the youngest, she's a wild child. we have that brother-sister relationship that's typical.
HISTORY
my father was a delinquent as a teenager, and was always getting into trouble despite his father's harsh words, and his mothers pleading. eventually when he was spiraling out his parent's control, they sent him off to military school at the army and navy academy in carlsbad, california. after attending military school there, he ended up continuing in the services and heading up into the army and eventually moving himself up on the lineage to become a staff sargent.
his career took off and he became the 'strong silent type of man' that his father and mother had always wanted, you know, all about honor. on one of his leaves he met mother while in santa barbara where she was attending college, and hanging out at a bar called 'telly's' by her college with all her friends. from the moment they began to speak, meeting by a mutual friend, things were just simple. within a few years, they were engaged and my mother already had my older sister naya on the way. they moved on up to here in valkyrie, my father only vaguely knowing about the slowly emerging crime up here, but figure it wasn't much worse than other places. they settled into the same house my mother lives in today. my sister was born on of my father's leaves and he was overjoyed. not more than a year later i was born, but this time while my father was away. he was providing for us though, everything that we ever needed was always in that house, never did we have to strive for anything besides wishing and waiting for my father to be able to come home. i met him when i was one year old but it didn't even matter, he was my father and i knew him right away. only three years later, my youngest sister tea was born.
childhood wasn't too bad for me, i was well behaved because my mother always told me that the better i was the sooner my father would come home. i didn't need much more than that to be an angel. trouble wasn't attractive for me as a child and i stayed away from it. i hated the feeling of being yelled at an i had inherited my father's natural urge to always make my parents proud. i was always doing things for my mother to earn praise, because it just felt good. and when my father came home to my accomplishments whether it be on my peewee teams and my awards from the sports, to my academic awards in school, i was just happy to show him that even when he was away i wasn't letting him down.
eventually my father left the army when i was seven to come home indefinitely. he worked as a recruiter instead for the time being, but i couldn't be happier he was home. we were tight throughout my childhood and early teens. i was too proud and afraid of disappointment to do something that wouldn't be honorable to my family. when it came to high school, i did go out and i did party and was naturally a teenage guy, but i did make sure that i never got into to serious trouble. the army wasn't something i was interested in, but after high school was done and i did a few years of college to humor my parents, i ended taking the police test and making the force in my early twenties. this was around the time when my father got diagnosed. lymphoma is a hell of an illness. within a half of a year, my father was diagnosed, slowly disintegrating and then he was just gone.
the death hit my mother hard at first and she was steady in shock for a year after his death, and then as if things couldn't get worse...i was sentenced to two years in federal prison. i would be the guy to be partnered with a crooked cop. my partner and growing friend crawford ended up framing me as a drug trafficker and set up an assault on him in which we went into a building to catch an actual drug trafficker he seemed to working with and he went in disguise and me thinking he was the guy we were arrested who was refusing arrest, i took procaution to defend myself, and ended up breaking his arm to get him in handcuffs and before i knew it i was being rolled in on by three other teams from our department. he had planted an ridiculous amount of drugs in not only my car, but my apartment as well among other supportive evidence to his cause. nothing i couldn't possibly said during that time could've proved me to be framed. this case was huge and thanks to him, all signs pointed to me as the culprit.
prison was the lowest i've ever been. throughout the two years i could only remember thinking that i was glad my father didn't go with me like this. this would've crushed him. when i got out, not only was i out of a job, but my reputation among the town was ruined. after drinking myself into an oblivion for about a half a year, after reuniting with my high school friend sharpe, we caught up at the bar as if no time had gone by at all, and he told all about what he'd been involved in after me not having to fill him in on my life at all. will ended up coming too and we all sat around bitching about how we'd fallen from out high school grace, reminiscing about how we had a clean slate then. now what did i have? my name was ruined, i couldn't support my mother and sisters. what did i have to show for myself? nothing.
it was will though that got the idea in my head with something that any other person would've looked over but the desperate motherfucker in me actually thought into it. i tried to chuckle a bit as will and sharpe joked but it just sounded too good to pass up to me. what was honor? leaving a name for your family. but what if i couldn't honor them in a way sweet enough for me to never get caught. i was conniving enough, hell, sharpe and will on top of that? we could fool everyone.
it only took a day for me to convince myself we were doing it. a heist team. it was gonna happen. we had almost all the keys but with valkyrie being the town it was now-a-days, there's no way we couldn't find the missing pieces. i knew it was fucking crazy but i didn't care, sharpe was the first to try to convince but i knew will would do it. and then we had sharpe too once will agreed. this was going to happen. of course sharpe only agreed if we make this heist team our bitch. we had to be the fucking best, and i knew we could be.
will's cousin morgan was a computer wiz kid and practically the female fucking bill gates, so we grabbed her in on the plan and suddenly things became real. i felt like we were something out of the italian job. all we needed now was a driver. and that's where i remembered someone. i'd known of a guy named ethan kane from when i was a cop, he was a convicted criminal that owned a body shop not too far, i never met him and of course i had to explain to him my background in the force, but that was something that he clicked with. and not long after that he said he was in.
this was real. i knew i'd fallen far form where i'd started out but there was really only so long i could walk in the straight line i had literally my entire life. being the good guy gets you no where and this is what it came to. we started off small, and definitely not in town. the rush from the first robbery was something that i could easily get used to. we went all the way out to santa monica for the first one. it was a little far from valkyrie and the thought of our get away all the way back home made me nervous but with sharpe planning, and kane driving we had nothing to worry about. after continuous planning, the execution was too flawless. we walked in that day scraping the bottom of the floor for rent, and came out with two million dollars. i was floored the rest of that day at how our circumstances changed that fast. no more arguing with fucking hareem about my rent money, no more accepting moms coupons so i could go food shopping. we were apart of something new now, and i'll be damned if we felt anything besides unstoppable. we made the santa monica police look like a room of kindergarteners trying to figure an addition problem. we were gods.
after trying to see what else we could do make ourselves higher above the rest we brought in sanders, the decoy. our actor pretty much. he would be apart of our heists but from the point of view of the hostages to make sure that everything works with our plan, and not let any of the people get out of hand. sharpe knew him from ucla, something about theater classes and whatever.
after three years, every plan has gone off without a hitch, no problems. flawless, and i've been able to provide for my mother and sisters just like my father wanted. i'm bringing a whole different kind of 'honor' to the family. we didn't stay with just banks, we've done jewelery heists, and haven stolen paintings as well. nothing was unavailable to us anymore. we're gonna take everything we can.
[/td][/tr]his career took off and he became the 'strong silent type of man' that his father and mother had always wanted, you know, all about honor. on one of his leaves he met mother while in santa barbara where she was attending college, and hanging out at a bar called 'telly's' by her college with all her friends. from the moment they began to speak, meeting by a mutual friend, things were just simple. within a few years, they were engaged and my mother already had my older sister naya on the way. they moved on up to here in valkyrie, my father only vaguely knowing about the slowly emerging crime up here, but figure it wasn't much worse than other places. they settled into the same house my mother lives in today. my sister was born on of my father's leaves and he was overjoyed. not more than a year later i was born, but this time while my father was away. he was providing for us though, everything that we ever needed was always in that house, never did we have to strive for anything besides wishing and waiting for my father to be able to come home. i met him when i was one year old but it didn't even matter, he was my father and i knew him right away. only three years later, my youngest sister tea was born.
childhood wasn't too bad for me, i was well behaved because my mother always told me that the better i was the sooner my father would come home. i didn't need much more than that to be an angel. trouble wasn't attractive for me as a child and i stayed away from it. i hated the feeling of being yelled at an i had inherited my father's natural urge to always make my parents proud. i was always doing things for my mother to earn praise, because it just felt good. and when my father came home to my accomplishments whether it be on my peewee teams and my awards from the sports, to my academic awards in school, i was just happy to show him that even when he was away i wasn't letting him down.
eventually my father left the army when i was seven to come home indefinitely. he worked as a recruiter instead for the time being, but i couldn't be happier he was home. we were tight throughout my childhood and early teens. i was too proud and afraid of disappointment to do something that wouldn't be honorable to my family. when it came to high school, i did go out and i did party and was naturally a teenage guy, but i did make sure that i never got into to serious trouble. the army wasn't something i was interested in, but after high school was done and i did a few years of college to humor my parents, i ended taking the police test and making the force in my early twenties. this was around the time when my father got diagnosed. lymphoma is a hell of an illness. within a half of a year, my father was diagnosed, slowly disintegrating and then he was just gone.
the death hit my mother hard at first and she was steady in shock for a year after his death, and then as if things couldn't get worse...i was sentenced to two years in federal prison. i would be the guy to be partnered with a crooked cop. my partner and growing friend crawford ended up framing me as a drug trafficker and set up an assault on him in which we went into a building to catch an actual drug trafficker he seemed to working with and he went in disguise and me thinking he was the guy we were arrested who was refusing arrest, i took procaution to defend myself, and ended up breaking his arm to get him in handcuffs and before i knew it i was being rolled in on by three other teams from our department. he had planted an ridiculous amount of drugs in not only my car, but my apartment as well among other supportive evidence to his cause. nothing i couldn't possibly said during that time could've proved me to be framed. this case was huge and thanks to him, all signs pointed to me as the culprit.
prison was the lowest i've ever been. throughout the two years i could only remember thinking that i was glad my father didn't go with me like this. this would've crushed him. when i got out, not only was i out of a job, but my reputation among the town was ruined. after drinking myself into an oblivion for about a half a year, after reuniting with my high school friend sharpe, we caught up at the bar as if no time had gone by at all, and he told all about what he'd been involved in after me not having to fill him in on my life at all. will ended up coming too and we all sat around bitching about how we'd fallen from out high school grace, reminiscing about how we had a clean slate then. now what did i have? my name was ruined, i couldn't support my mother and sisters. what did i have to show for myself? nothing.
it was will though that got the idea in my head with something that any other person would've looked over but the desperate motherfucker in me actually thought into it. i tried to chuckle a bit as will and sharpe joked but it just sounded too good to pass up to me. what was honor? leaving a name for your family. but what if i couldn't honor them in a way sweet enough for me to never get caught. i was conniving enough, hell, sharpe and will on top of that? we could fool everyone.
it only took a day for me to convince myself we were doing it. a heist team. it was gonna happen. we had almost all the keys but with valkyrie being the town it was now-a-days, there's no way we couldn't find the missing pieces. i knew it was fucking crazy but i didn't care, sharpe was the first to try to convince but i knew will would do it. and then we had sharpe too once will agreed. this was going to happen. of course sharpe only agreed if we make this heist team our bitch. we had to be the fucking best, and i knew we could be.
will's cousin morgan was a computer wiz kid and practically the female fucking bill gates, so we grabbed her in on the plan and suddenly things became real. i felt like we were something out of the italian job. all we needed now was a driver. and that's where i remembered someone. i'd known of a guy named ethan kane from when i was a cop, he was a convicted criminal that owned a body shop not too far, i never met him and of course i had to explain to him my background in the force, but that was something that he clicked with. and not long after that he said he was in.
this was real. i knew i'd fallen far form where i'd started out but there was really only so long i could walk in the straight line i had literally my entire life. being the good guy gets you no where and this is what it came to. we started off small, and definitely not in town. the rush from the first robbery was something that i could easily get used to. we went all the way out to santa monica for the first one. it was a little far from valkyrie and the thought of our get away all the way back home made me nervous but with sharpe planning, and kane driving we had nothing to worry about. after continuous planning, the execution was too flawless. we walked in that day scraping the bottom of the floor for rent, and came out with two million dollars. i was floored the rest of that day at how our circumstances changed that fast. no more arguing with fucking hareem about my rent money, no more accepting moms coupons so i could go food shopping. we were apart of something new now, and i'll be damned if we felt anything besides unstoppable. we made the santa monica police look like a room of kindergarteners trying to figure an addition problem. we were gods.
after trying to see what else we could do make ourselves higher above the rest we brought in sanders, the decoy. our actor pretty much. he would be apart of our heists but from the point of view of the hostages to make sure that everything works with our plan, and not let any of the people get out of hand. sharpe knew him from ucla, something about theater classes and whatever.
after three years, every plan has gone off without a hitch, no problems. flawless, and i've been able to provide for my mother and sisters just like my father wanted. i'm bringing a whole different kind of 'honor' to the family. we didn't stay with just banks, we've done jewelery heists, and haven stolen paintings as well. nothing was unavailable to us anymore. we're gonna take everything we can.
[tr][td][th]
the player
ALIAS aubrey
YEARS OF EXPERIENCE six years
OTHER CHARACTERS to come : knox ramsey, ro shohk
HOW'D YOU FIND US? adverts
RP SAMPLE
YEARS OF EXPERIENCE six years
OTHER CHARACTERS to come : knox ramsey, ro shohk
HOW'D YOU FIND US? adverts
RP SAMPLE
it hadn't changed. the pattern on the ceiling of jessica's room remained the same and to be fairly honest, she wasn't even sure why she though it would differ from all the other times she'd laid like this: on her back on the bed that tortured her so much lately while her eyes stared up at it. in a way, jessica had figured that with so many other things in her life drastically being different than they used to, she shouldn't be surprised if something unthinkable were to happen. she'd sat here most days of the week when she couldn't get any extra shifts at the deli, and just laid here. with so much extra time to herself, she was sure that she was going insane. she'd become a prisoner in her own head being constantly tortured by the vast amount of memories she'd shared with him. had she really expected to be able to forget about all this so suddenly? granted, the first few days the cuts were fresh and though she had no idea the pain could get any worse than that, she was rudely awaken to an all new type of pain as she tried to continue on with everyday doings. there was a huge gaping whole where he'd once occupied her time. so she'd gone the only route that she thought she'd be able to: avoidance. jessica ignored apollo's existence every chance she'd gotten, and took the long ways around the school to avoid any areas that house significant memories. she'd successfully found an escape for everywhere but the very place she laid to sleep every night. it may have been a little over a week and a half since they'd split but his scent still lingered her pillows and bedsheets. the smart person in this situation would just simply change them for a newer cleaner pairing but no matter how many times jessica took those steps towards the linen closet down the hall, she couldn't bring her fingers to open the door and pull a fresh set out. yet, she cursed herself still as she laid to bed at night and the spicy scent of right guard and his skin slithered into her nose. he was everywhere she went and unfortunately, encumbered in her route to school as well as everyday she was forced to pass the starbucks where he'd be sitting behind the counter, no longer making faces at her as she sat waiting for his shit to end. he was everywhere in the city and no matter how many times she tried to fight it, there was no escaping. apollo dante moretti would be stuck in her memories forever. her first serious relationship (or at least the first that she took seriously), her first risk, the one to reset her entire system; he was her other half. at the mere thought alone jessica's insides stung. lately, her life had become significantly more uneventful, and more and more torturous to trudge on through. it was only the next day that word had gotten around about their split and she wasn't exactly sure why she was surprised; nothing ever stayed secret around here anyways. but word had gotten around to jessica of exactly what had happened within that day, and the consequences. it of course was nate who'd opened his mouth to him, and spoke false words about what happened between jessica and nick; some false rumor that ignited a raging fire in jessica's stomach, and guided her feet all the way over to the baseball field the next day after school to give him a piece of her mind. jessica was never really aware of how frightening she must've came off, and in her opinion it couldn't ever have been very but the look of horror on nick's face as she yelled at him told her different. it hurt her to believe that nick who'd she'd been friends with from when she'd first arrived to dalton last year, had gone and done something as stupid as spreading false rumors about them together. should she really have been that shocked?
she never really worried too much about how people viewed her but now this was a problem. from rabid bitch to heartbreaking whore? even this was where jessica became self conscious and as she walked throughout the hallways of dalton prepatory, the low voices and whispers of other people giving their insight as to her break up, and what side they were on was getting under her skin. no one knew the real deal, but jessica yearned to explain just for some justification in all this. and apollo. god, what had he done? she'd only heard that upon hearing about nick and her he'd knocked nate out but breaking his nose? holy fuck. and that wasn't even the worst part; his last and relying lacrosse season was tarnishing in his hands. with his punishment, he'd had to go back to extra practices that were no longer a luxury but mandatory now. and after her late stretching meets jessica's eyes would drift over to him on the field as, still there and still working. she never really thought he noticed her glancing over as she went to her car, but she didn't care too much either. she shouldn't have cared, right? after all, they weren't even together anymore...her days had become more and more structured. she had to be at a certain place at a certain time; no drifting. because drifting off would lead her mind and body other places. places that weren't safe for her to be if she was trying to keep the pain from flooding her chest all over again. school, practice, work, home, sleep. maybe if she was lucky she'd get a meal or two in there. jess had gradually lost her appetite after finding that on their adventures, the two of them together had stained everyone of her favorite eateries. and a fresh single-person step in those places would leave those memories tarnished. so instead, jess gladly settled for watching through those windows; the windows that would play out the scenes for her all over again when she thought she could stomach reliving them. but all she ever really wanted to do was go home. home to her living room couch where their memories were in the shortest supply of anywhere in her house. she'd wrap herself up in her blanket and scan the television for something gory, horrific and mildly entertaining. despite finals coming, she'd not touched a book and didn't really intend to. she'd held solid a's in all her classes and with merely a week left to her senior year, jessica had already cashed in, and docked out. her deposit for columbia had been paid, and next year she'd be there....without him. finals would take care of themselves. this was her life now; her couch, her blanket, her tv, and herself. sad, yes. pathetic, hell yeah. pleasing, not in the slightest. sure, her phone would ring and rosa would be on the other end of the line trying to cheer her up with snorts of people that she knew annoyed jessica, or something clumsy, and stupid that she'd done but none of it ever really worked. jessica had dropped back into her anti-social, ice bitch self; back to the way she sure things should've always stayed in the first place. if she knew better than to allow herself to get as addicted to his kiss as she had, she would've been fine. maybe he'd still be chasing after her like he used to, smiling when she'd made some snide remark, or maybe he'd have left her alone by now; giving up completely. or perhaps things wouldn't faded off into the distance, gradually becoming exactly what their relationship now seemed to be: a brief obsession. it was here one moment and gone the next. and as she'd take her runs around the track while he slaved at lacrosse, she'd avoid his eyes because now he was in her past, and the past was long gone.
most of her family now ignored the fact there was anything wrong. partially in fear of pointing out anything that was meant to be hidden in the dark. they walked on eggshells as they passed the couch in the living room where the lump on the couch sat idly, and not moving but still alive though sometimes her father still walked over to check. cale, and kingston would sometimes sit in the doorway where she couldn't see whispering about when she'd finally be able to get up and live rather than rotting on the couch. but both had been there when she needed them. caden had taken the opportunity to pick her up from school one afternoon rather than having her walk the short distance home. sitting themselves down on a bench in central park, caden had spoken to her using his power to get beneath her skin. she barely let anyone ever do such a thing, but for caden it was just easy; he didn't even have to try. cale however had taken the harder approach by shutting off the tv while she sat on the couch one day, and making her talk to him. he was never really subtle to be honest. but either way, jess appreciated the effort. her father was still careful about his actions though as he stalled talking to her as much as he could.
it was funny to her how it seemed that everything changed to her. not only the world around her, and the things she did but the way she acted. no longer did jess actually try to plan an outfit for school the next day for the need to look well put together, instead she took to wearing jeans and a t-shirt, or anything that seemed easy. she'd didn't sugar coat her attitude and just like the old days, she would put her opinion in the rawest of verbalizations without a care as to who's feelings she hurt. she did laugh now and then, but to get something pleasant out of her was like pulling teeth. but he'd caught her of course during these moments, ones where rosa would cause her giggles to sound through the air and capture his attention. was she only making it worse? they'd spent so much time protecting their relationship with their communication, and their spontaneous adventures within the city that she found it hard that their dedication was what caused their end. this would happen to her. her insides would tear as she had to go to art, and she'd pass that closet where out of sheer boredom and being tortured by their adventurous hormones she'd let him press her against the wall, and his lips take to her neck while his hands slid against her thighs warmly. there was no way to avoid that room when she'd had to go to advanced painting. going to practices was even more torturous and she often found her eyes trailing back to the door he'd slammed through on that very day. the locker held more dents in it than she remembered, but she yearned to forget it all more than ever. in all honesty, every part of the school haunted and taunted her with thoughts of him. her locker was a completely different story that tied hand-in-hand with his way of asking her to prom. breaking into her locker, she'd found that he placed within it a bouquet of himalayan lilies: her favorites. and within them was the card with the question mark on it. it wasn't extremely romantic but it was all she need to nod her head. everyone of those thoughts lingered on her memory, as their conversations replayed in her mind, his voice seeming much louder and noticeable that hers. it hadn't taken long for rosie to help jess finalize the plans they'd had for their weekend getaway at the north carolina house. the drive down was long, but it was far enough that jessica was able to open her mind to other things. she hadn't known that she planned the weekend on the same one as when apollo'd disappeared off to the hamptons, but she'd have been extremely grateful. jess knew she wouldn't be able to bear staying in the city and hearing about all the escapades he'd be getting into out there with the perfect cousins to get into trouble with if you were looking for it. she couldn't fight the nervous feeling in her stomach that maybe while he was out there he'd sleep with someone else, or fall for someone else and then she'd truly be old news. and as she clicked nails in the car, jess's mind was occupied with wonders of what would happen if she'd grown up living outside of cities. barcelos was like a much smaller manhattan, but was still one of the biggest portugal could offer. would she have different values or opinions? probably. she wouldn't have been the tough skinned girl she had once been, she'd be the good girl that she'd always hear came from the country. something completely different.
rosie kept jessica laughing or smiling for most of the weekend, but she knew that even rosie's help wasn't enough to get moving on. jessica didn't want to, and that was the roadblock in the path. she wanted to remember him in a way. there was no doubt in her mind that she'd one day explain to them the story of her first love, and their whirlwind of a romance. short but sweet, calm and chaotic all at the same time. but still it wasn't enough now that she didn't have it anymore. she felt somewhat like a child who'd grown too old for their security blanket and had it snatched away. it was unfair. why couldn't he just fucking say them? those three words weren't so difficult if he could show her he felt them why couldn't he say them? jessica couldn't even count the many different ways that they'd had to tell the other that they loved them, why beat around the bush anymore? she'd taken the plunge already and all he'd had to was join her. she'd thought non stop about this as she sat on the porch of the north carolina house over looking the rough beach waters. somehow the rough waves had soothed her a bit. it showed her that something else in this world was just as hard as she was. she knew that maybe she'd pushed to an extreme by cutting their relationship up entirely, but jessica wasn't really sure how much more time she'd be able to be around apollo the way they were when she knew that he didn't love her back. she would just be wasting her time and affection trying to make him love her the way she loved him. and as rosie dragged her from the porch where he sat and out to a party of one of their friends in the area, jess's mind racked itself with the idea: he didn't love her back. so why would she stick around? why would she put herself through that pain? jessica couldn't help but wonder though as some random boy approached where she stood on her friend's balcony: would the pain would be worse or better than what she had now? she would still be able to be cradled in his arms, or experience his kisses, but would they had the same feeling if she knew that there wasn't love behind them?
the many times she'd escaped to the balcony at night and sat in the same chair, jessica wondered where he was at that very moment and what he was doing. was he thinking about her? her mind took an awful turn as she wondered if he'd already slept with someone else. him hanging out with aldo, franke and marcello was bad news, and jess couldn't help but have doubts that he'd done something already. she'd tortured herself all night long at cristina's party, as her eyes desperately followed a boy who looked vaguely like apollo around the party. she'd all be stopped her heart as she caught onto his similar hair cut, and skin tone. but upon turning around and seeing her watching him, a smile turning over his lips, her heart dropped to her toes. he'd spent most of the night talking about his rugby team, and the full ride he'd gotten to villanova. how...awesome. once jessica found that she was merely listening because he reminded her of apollo she abruptly turned on her heel and made her way back inside to find rosie and get the hell out of there.
north carolina had proved to be hell, and jessica couldn't believe she was actually happy to be back in new york again. school wasn't going to be going on for another two days, and jessica didn't know what else to do with herself. it was proven that no matter where she was she'd still be tortured. in class, she could feel his eyes lingering on her, and occasionally she'd try to casually look back at him as if to tell him to 'stop' but even she could tell he knew that she didn't mean it. his eyes on her was showing her that he still cared and though she could try to convince herself that it bothered her, she knew that she'd wanted it this way. so the night she'd got back and she was alone in her own house, jessica took the very same flask from the night of the bonfire and downed every drop of cuervo in it as she retrieved the box from her closet. the box of things that she hadn't given back to him, the things she couldn't bear to be without. it was hard enough to have to go over to his house and attempt to leave the box of his things on his doorstep and his mom opening the front door hadn't made it any better. their short conversation was filled with awkward pauses before jess made up some bullshit excuse of having to meet cale for dinner.
it was sunday afternoon when jessica had finally decided to herself that all she needed was to relax. so she'd slipped on her most comfortable childlike frog slippers, and her glasses before sitting on the most comfortable chair in the foyer. stretching her legs out, jessica's fingers opened the pages of the great gatsby: her favorite book, in a last attempt to dry out anymore depressed emotions. as she read, her face became the face of daisy and apollo's that of nick carraway as he arrived at her house for their awkward dinner. reading glasses perched on loosely on her nose, jessica was only a little bit in when the sound of knuckles wrapped against the door. her eyebrows narrowed as her voice sounded throughout their brownstone, "i've got it!", placing her book aside, jessica lifted herself from the chair and her slippers took her smoothly to the door. fingers wrapping loosely around the door knob, jessica's fingers twisted it and pulled the door open as her breath simultaneously sucked in completely. there he stood before her. she knew her face had shown how shocked she really was, and she stood there, the breeze from the open door playing against her neck and revealed midriff causing small goosebumps to arise. her insides clenched completely before she swallowed softly and her shoulders fell. seeing her there, he took a step in and rubbed his head. she could see the pain in his face. he looked tired and worn like he hadn't slept in days and she immediately wondered if it was all her fault. his face winced in pain as a small sound was heard not too far off and he opened his mouth to beg her. she could practically hear her insides rip as she took a step forward and threw her arms tightly around his neck practically lifting herself into his arms. her cheeks stung but she resisted the urge to cry again. eyes squeezed shut over his shoulder, jessica's voice was just as pained and faint as his but she knew he could hear her, "i've missed you so much."
she never really worried too much about how people viewed her but now this was a problem. from rabid bitch to heartbreaking whore? even this was where jessica became self conscious and as she walked throughout the hallways of dalton prepatory, the low voices and whispers of other people giving their insight as to her break up, and what side they were on was getting under her skin. no one knew the real deal, but jessica yearned to explain just for some justification in all this. and apollo. god, what had he done? she'd only heard that upon hearing about nick and her he'd knocked nate out but breaking his nose? holy fuck. and that wasn't even the worst part; his last and relying lacrosse season was tarnishing in his hands. with his punishment, he'd had to go back to extra practices that were no longer a luxury but mandatory now. and after her late stretching meets jessica's eyes would drift over to him on the field as, still there and still working. she never really thought he noticed her glancing over as she went to her car, but she didn't care too much either. she shouldn't have cared, right? after all, they weren't even together anymore...her days had become more and more structured. she had to be at a certain place at a certain time; no drifting. because drifting off would lead her mind and body other places. places that weren't safe for her to be if she was trying to keep the pain from flooding her chest all over again. school, practice, work, home, sleep. maybe if she was lucky she'd get a meal or two in there. jess had gradually lost her appetite after finding that on their adventures, the two of them together had stained everyone of her favorite eateries. and a fresh single-person step in those places would leave those memories tarnished. so instead, jess gladly settled for watching through those windows; the windows that would play out the scenes for her all over again when she thought she could stomach reliving them. but all she ever really wanted to do was go home. home to her living room couch where their memories were in the shortest supply of anywhere in her house. she'd wrap herself up in her blanket and scan the television for something gory, horrific and mildly entertaining. despite finals coming, she'd not touched a book and didn't really intend to. she'd held solid a's in all her classes and with merely a week left to her senior year, jessica had already cashed in, and docked out. her deposit for columbia had been paid, and next year she'd be there....without him. finals would take care of themselves. this was her life now; her couch, her blanket, her tv, and herself. sad, yes. pathetic, hell yeah. pleasing, not in the slightest. sure, her phone would ring and rosa would be on the other end of the line trying to cheer her up with snorts of people that she knew annoyed jessica, or something clumsy, and stupid that she'd done but none of it ever really worked. jessica had dropped back into her anti-social, ice bitch self; back to the way she sure things should've always stayed in the first place. if she knew better than to allow herself to get as addicted to his kiss as she had, she would've been fine. maybe he'd still be chasing after her like he used to, smiling when she'd made some snide remark, or maybe he'd have left her alone by now; giving up completely. or perhaps things wouldn't faded off into the distance, gradually becoming exactly what their relationship now seemed to be: a brief obsession. it was here one moment and gone the next. and as she'd take her runs around the track while he slaved at lacrosse, she'd avoid his eyes because now he was in her past, and the past was long gone.
most of her family now ignored the fact there was anything wrong. partially in fear of pointing out anything that was meant to be hidden in the dark. they walked on eggshells as they passed the couch in the living room where the lump on the couch sat idly, and not moving but still alive though sometimes her father still walked over to check. cale, and kingston would sometimes sit in the doorway where she couldn't see whispering about when she'd finally be able to get up and live rather than rotting on the couch. but both had been there when she needed them. caden had taken the opportunity to pick her up from school one afternoon rather than having her walk the short distance home. sitting themselves down on a bench in central park, caden had spoken to her using his power to get beneath her skin. she barely let anyone ever do such a thing, but for caden it was just easy; he didn't even have to try. cale however had taken the harder approach by shutting off the tv while she sat on the couch one day, and making her talk to him. he was never really subtle to be honest. but either way, jess appreciated the effort. her father was still careful about his actions though as he stalled talking to her as much as he could.
it was funny to her how it seemed that everything changed to her. not only the world around her, and the things she did but the way she acted. no longer did jess actually try to plan an outfit for school the next day for the need to look well put together, instead she took to wearing jeans and a t-shirt, or anything that seemed easy. she'd didn't sugar coat her attitude and just like the old days, she would put her opinion in the rawest of verbalizations without a care as to who's feelings she hurt. she did laugh now and then, but to get something pleasant out of her was like pulling teeth. but he'd caught her of course during these moments, ones where rosa would cause her giggles to sound through the air and capture his attention. was she only making it worse? they'd spent so much time protecting their relationship with their communication, and their spontaneous adventures within the city that she found it hard that their dedication was what caused their end. this would happen to her. her insides would tear as she had to go to art, and she'd pass that closet where out of sheer boredom and being tortured by their adventurous hormones she'd let him press her against the wall, and his lips take to her neck while his hands slid against her thighs warmly. there was no way to avoid that room when she'd had to go to advanced painting. going to practices was even more torturous and she often found her eyes trailing back to the door he'd slammed through on that very day. the locker held more dents in it than she remembered, but she yearned to forget it all more than ever. in all honesty, every part of the school haunted and taunted her with thoughts of him. her locker was a completely different story that tied hand-in-hand with his way of asking her to prom. breaking into her locker, she'd found that he placed within it a bouquet of himalayan lilies: her favorites. and within them was the card with the question mark on it. it wasn't extremely romantic but it was all she need to nod her head. everyone of those thoughts lingered on her memory, as their conversations replayed in her mind, his voice seeming much louder and noticeable that hers. it hadn't taken long for rosie to help jess finalize the plans they'd had for their weekend getaway at the north carolina house. the drive down was long, but it was far enough that jessica was able to open her mind to other things. she hadn't known that she planned the weekend on the same one as when apollo'd disappeared off to the hamptons, but she'd have been extremely grateful. jess knew she wouldn't be able to bear staying in the city and hearing about all the escapades he'd be getting into out there with the perfect cousins to get into trouble with if you were looking for it. she couldn't fight the nervous feeling in her stomach that maybe while he was out there he'd sleep with someone else, or fall for someone else and then she'd truly be old news. and as she clicked nails in the car, jess's mind was occupied with wonders of what would happen if she'd grown up living outside of cities. barcelos was like a much smaller manhattan, but was still one of the biggest portugal could offer. would she have different values or opinions? probably. she wouldn't have been the tough skinned girl she had once been, she'd be the good girl that she'd always hear came from the country. something completely different.
rosie kept jessica laughing or smiling for most of the weekend, but she knew that even rosie's help wasn't enough to get moving on. jessica didn't want to, and that was the roadblock in the path. she wanted to remember him in a way. there was no doubt in her mind that she'd one day explain to them the story of her first love, and their whirlwind of a romance. short but sweet, calm and chaotic all at the same time. but still it wasn't enough now that she didn't have it anymore. she felt somewhat like a child who'd grown too old for their security blanket and had it snatched away. it was unfair. why couldn't he just fucking say them? those three words weren't so difficult if he could show her he felt them why couldn't he say them? jessica couldn't even count the many different ways that they'd had to tell the other that they loved them, why beat around the bush anymore? she'd taken the plunge already and all he'd had to was join her. she'd thought non stop about this as she sat on the porch of the north carolina house over looking the rough beach waters. somehow the rough waves had soothed her a bit. it showed her that something else in this world was just as hard as she was. she knew that maybe she'd pushed to an extreme by cutting their relationship up entirely, but jessica wasn't really sure how much more time she'd be able to be around apollo the way they were when she knew that he didn't love her back. she would just be wasting her time and affection trying to make him love her the way she loved him. and as rosie dragged her from the porch where he sat and out to a party of one of their friends in the area, jess's mind racked itself with the idea: he didn't love her back. so why would she stick around? why would she put herself through that pain? jessica couldn't help but wonder though as some random boy approached where she stood on her friend's balcony: would the pain would be worse or better than what she had now? she would still be able to be cradled in his arms, or experience his kisses, but would they had the same feeling if she knew that there wasn't love behind them?
the many times she'd escaped to the balcony at night and sat in the same chair, jessica wondered where he was at that very moment and what he was doing. was he thinking about her? her mind took an awful turn as she wondered if he'd already slept with someone else. him hanging out with aldo, franke and marcello was bad news, and jess couldn't help but have doubts that he'd done something already. she'd tortured herself all night long at cristina's party, as her eyes desperately followed a boy who looked vaguely like apollo around the party. she'd all be stopped her heart as she caught onto his similar hair cut, and skin tone. but upon turning around and seeing her watching him, a smile turning over his lips, her heart dropped to her toes. he'd spent most of the night talking about his rugby team, and the full ride he'd gotten to villanova. how...awesome. once jessica found that she was merely listening because he reminded her of apollo she abruptly turned on her heel and made her way back inside to find rosie and get the hell out of there.
north carolina had proved to be hell, and jessica couldn't believe she was actually happy to be back in new york again. school wasn't going to be going on for another two days, and jessica didn't know what else to do with herself. it was proven that no matter where she was she'd still be tortured. in class, she could feel his eyes lingering on her, and occasionally she'd try to casually look back at him as if to tell him to 'stop' but even she could tell he knew that she didn't mean it. his eyes on her was showing her that he still cared and though she could try to convince herself that it bothered her, she knew that she'd wanted it this way. so the night she'd got back and she was alone in her own house, jessica took the very same flask from the night of the bonfire and downed every drop of cuervo in it as she retrieved the box from her closet. the box of things that she hadn't given back to him, the things she couldn't bear to be without. it was hard enough to have to go over to his house and attempt to leave the box of his things on his doorstep and his mom opening the front door hadn't made it any better. their short conversation was filled with awkward pauses before jess made up some bullshit excuse of having to meet cale for dinner.
it was sunday afternoon when jessica had finally decided to herself that all she needed was to relax. so she'd slipped on her most comfortable childlike frog slippers, and her glasses before sitting on the most comfortable chair in the foyer. stretching her legs out, jessica's fingers opened the pages of the great gatsby: her favorite book, in a last attempt to dry out anymore depressed emotions. as she read, her face became the face of daisy and apollo's that of nick carraway as he arrived at her house for their awkward dinner. reading glasses perched on loosely on her nose, jessica was only a little bit in when the sound of knuckles wrapped against the door. her eyebrows narrowed as her voice sounded throughout their brownstone, "i've got it!", placing her book aside, jessica lifted herself from the chair and her slippers took her smoothly to the door. fingers wrapping loosely around the door knob, jessica's fingers twisted it and pulled the door open as her breath simultaneously sucked in completely. there he stood before her. she knew her face had shown how shocked she really was, and she stood there, the breeze from the open door playing against her neck and revealed midriff causing small goosebumps to arise. her insides clenched completely before she swallowed softly and her shoulders fell. seeing her there, he took a step in and rubbed his head. she could see the pain in his face. he looked tired and worn like he hadn't slept in days and she immediately wondered if it was all her fault. his face winced in pain as a small sound was heard not too far off and he opened his mouth to beg her. she could practically hear her insides rip as she took a step forward and threw her arms tightly around his neck practically lifting herself into his arms. her cheeks stung but she resisted the urge to cry again. eyes squeezed shut over his shoulder, jessica's voice was just as pained and faint as his but she knew he could hear her, "i've missed you so much."
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