consuming, confusing,

[caroline isabelle sutton]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 380px; height: 380px; background-color:#E3E3E3; border-left: 20px solid #7D463F; border-bottom:20px solid #7D463F; border-top:20px solid #7D463F; border-right: 20px solid #7D463F;] carly had truthfully forgotten that sam didn't live here, or she'd chosen to put it behind her. carly didn't want to think about him leaving, ever. she didn't want him to go. she was so used to him just being there and around. he was there constantly for her in new york and being here with him in valkyrie just felt right. it was like being home and being home again, both in location and feeling. carly would admit that when the two had been roommates it had felt absolutely perfect. there was no other way to feel about it. she'd had a hand to help her raise her daughter, someone good and pure who wanted nothing more than to be there for the both of them. carly didn't want that to end. the thought of the possibility that he would have ever left actually didn't register. why would he want to leave? most of all why would he want to leave lily behind? she hadn't stopped to consider that maybe he really had no say in the matter but still. it wasn't feasible. why would- just why? she took him for granted obviously. carly figured that sam would always be there for her and honestly it was hard not to think that when he came to valkyrie just to be with her. it was a big, noble gesture and it was a hard one to forget. he'd come all this way to be with her and now that she'd finally realized what he'd wanted all along and wanted to give that piece of herself away was he going to have to move back to new york? was he going to leave her high and dry? there wasn't much of an argument about moving. carly was staying right where she was. it had taken her a long time to get back to the only place she ever really knew as home and she wasn't going to be leaving any time soon. though leaving, in retrospect, wouldn't be that difficult. carly had no real stake in the city. her parent's house had been all fixed up and yet she was still at the inferno, living in a condo-esque room on a high floor that had a month to month rental deal going. it wasn't permanent in any sense of the word but it felt permanent. it felt like more than it added up to be. she could see herself living in a place like this for a while, even moving up a few floors to the more apartment-esque rooms. she smiled as he spoke. it was nice to come first. it really did feel good that he cared about her that much, especially because she'd been focusing on lily so much since she'd gotten her back. plus it was fun to be so flirty and physical with him as she'd restricted herself when lily was around. her relationship with sam had yet to make a lot of sense to lily. sam had been her daddy but her mommy and her daddy weren't together. it was a lot to try to understand even back then and now the whole dynamic of their relationship was changing and that would be even harder to explain. so carly liked to tone it back in front of her daughter, but lily was having a blast in the pool with some girls and she could care less what carly and sam were doing. confusing littered her expression as sam pulled away to speak. "oh?" she asked as he faltered. "...i'm done filming in two weeks." "oh." she said once again, this time with a hint of dread. but things got better as sam continued. a smile grew on her lips as he finished. she leaned up and kissed him, cupping his cheek before she sank back to give him his answer. "i would be thrilled, but you can't stay for me. you have to stay because you want to." she said honestly. she couldn't have him staying because of her and then things go awry. if sam chose to stay it had to be his choice because she couldn't live with the guilt of him uprooting his life to live around her if things didn't work out in the end. notes, time for some cute. word count, 713 thanks brooklyn from caution

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[samuel henry lockhart]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #16756d solid 30px; ] CRAWLING IN MY SKIN OUTFIT: trunks. TAGGED: CARLY NOTES: samly page two! --- MAYBE it was a little bit that he was in love with her. maybe he saw they could possibly have a future together. and sam didn't want to give that up. it would be hard for him to explain to friends, family, his management team, and even carly that yes, he wanted to live here, but also because he was at a point where he could make decisions like this. if sam could see a future with both carly and lily, then he didn't want to waste that opportunity and spend the next several years thinking how it could have been. yes, this would change his life, but sam knew it would be for the better. and valkyrie truly wasn't far away from los angeles. in new york, he had been with matt all the time because he was doing his broadway shows. sam loved his brother and liked being able to spend more time with him, but he also missed his parents and his sister. living an arm's length away wouldn't kill anybody. it was hard enough to get the lockharts in one place at the same time, the hollywood working family had such strange schedules. chanel had tours, matt's plays would be extended, his parents constantly were shipped off to movie sets, as well as sam sometimes bouncing from set to set if it was a busy year. this filming schedule had been good though. in a way, it was almost like sam needed it. besides going to los angeles for the occasional event, television appearance, or a photo shoot, he stayed in valkyrie. he didn't have to spend his time on sets and airplanes like he did in the past. more times than not, he was back in his inferno suite every night. but his rather... light schedule for this movie made him realize what he could have. he could truly find the balance between working and really being in a relationship. of course it was a different sort of relationship consisting of their friendship and lily who called sam 'daddy' anyway even when he was never with carly. it was confusing, but it was strangely normal. the press liked to draw up extravagant stories of celebrities like them. they loved the drama, the scandal, and the secrets. the fact that everyone thought sam and carly were dating on the down-low only made the hype and wonder more imaginative. and sam and carly must have been living in this dreamed-up fairytale these past few weeks for them to forget about sam's supposed temporary stay in valkyrie. it seemed to dawn on her right as he started mentioning it. sam already wanted to take back those words, he didn't want to ruin the day because it was a day needed by all of them. sam wanted to unwind, lily needed to get out of the suite, and carly needed to let lily out. and, they ended up having a lot of fun. it had been days since sam had seen either of them smile the way they were and it made him smile because of it. technically speaking, it should be like this everyday, but since it couldn't, knowing that this was what you were coming home to was something to look forward to. carly started to smile, and she kissed him, something he didn't object to. but then she pulled away and said, "i would be thrilled, but you can't stay for me. you have to stay because you want to." he was ready for her reaction because he was sort of expecting her to say something like this. "i knew you'd say something like this," he leaned back a bit, but was smiling. "and i do want to live here." it wasn't like valkyrie was always on his mind and would he be living here if it was just him? no. "let me rephrase that," he said starting again. "i want to live wherever you are. that is what i want," he finished with a slight nod. there was a difference. he wasn't staying because she was staying. he wanted to live where she did. he'd move to wherever. sam turned to her again and propped himself up on his elbow. "los angeles is pretty much right down the road. and we've already been roommates before, so we know each others odd habits." sam stopped again. he wasn't used to conversations like this... ever. what if they couldn't move in together. "or, or, i mean. i could get a place by you guys. but," he said taking her hand and kissing it. "we don't have to sort out all of that yet. i could live anywhere as long as i know you're five minutes away." CONFUSING WHAT IS REAL

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY LINKIN PARK

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[caroline isabelle sutton]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 380px; height: 380px; background-color:#E3E3E3; border-left: 20px solid #7D463F; border-bottom:20px solid #7D463F; border-top:20px solid #7D463F; border-right: 20px solid #7D463F;] carly couldn't help but to look at sam with a smile. it was all so sweet but she wanted to make sure he was doing this all for himself, not for her, and she still wasn't convinced. it sounded as though her previous words hadn't really registered which carly could understand. it had been a little confusing she supposed to hear that someone didn't want you sticking around just for them when all you wanted to do was stick around for them. carly liked sam, loved him even, but she wasn't in love with him yet and she didn't want to run the risk of hurting him should it turn out that it just wouldn't ever happen. she'd already told him that she wasn't in love with him yet, that she wanted to be but that it would only come with time. maybe the time bit had been her mistake. to tell him not to stay after saying that she could love him given x amount of time was a little silly on her part. here she was telling him not to stay for her when she wasn't sure, and probably wouldn't be sure, when or if the switch would flip and she felt like she couldn't live without him either. she could already see how much he cared about her. it was written all over his face. and carly felt awful that she didn't feel the same quite yet. she really did feel badly that he'd loved her all this time and just hadn't had the guts or whatnot to tell her. then maybe they would have had all the time together that they needed. maybe then there wouldn't be anything to worry about and she wouldn't have to feel as though she was the straggler in this race to the finish. carly knew she couldn't push herself to feel something that wasn't there and that, though he hoped it would come, sam wouldn't want her faking it around him either. and he knew well enough to tell. thankfully this was in the experimental stages. she didn't have to worry about faking a thing, she just had to figure out what her feelings were and where exactly sam fit into that. "you're still making it sound like you would stay here just for me, which is exactly what i'm asking you not to stay for." carly said with a chuckle. she really didn't want to argue the point but she wanted sam to understand that she was completely adamant about him staying for his own reasons. "it is close though, and it's not in the city so there's not the traffic to worry about and the crazed fans scouting out your house. you won't be on some tmz tour bus stop is what i'm saying." she felt his lips against her hand and sighed. "now that things are different i don't know if we could do the roommates thing. i mean what is lily supposed to make of that? she already calls you daddy and whatnot so i know it wouldn't be a bad thing but i don't want to send her the wrong message if things go awry." she sat up and put her head in her hands for a moment before raking her fingers through her hair and sitting upright. "i know she would love it, but what if something between us doesn't work out? i couldn't stand if things got weird or if you left us and lily had to ask where you were all over again. i don't want that, but at the same time i don't want to say no to the option. i know it would be a better environment for her and everything and i just want her to be happy-" she trailed on with no apparent attempt at stopping. notes, omfg it's so late but i finally got some muse. word count, 638 thanks brooklyn from caution

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