- everything we had ,

[luca angelo giovanni]

----LUCA KNEW VALKYRIE WOULD LOOK FOREIGN TO HIM, a lot different than how he left it five years ago. well, besides the fact that there were giant holes on main street and street lamps had impaled buildings like slicing a cake. valkyrie hadn't been his home for anymore than a year, but he felt stronger attachments here than he did to los angeles, where he lived for six years. luca had arrived in valkyrie about a half hour ago via the givoannis private plane. it all started early this morning when fausto called him saying that maggie never checked in yet. luca, didn't know what he was talking about. he hadn't learn about the 7.5 earthquake in valkyrie until fausto had called him right there. after fausto was filling in the details he repeated again maggie never checked in, saying she was ok. it was reason enough for luca to start packing his stuff up in a duffel bag. fausto told him the private plane was on their way and they'd take him to valkyrie.

luca had been in boston for the past five years. after some shit with the novikoffs went down, they put a hit on luca. luca got out of there quick, leaving everything behind. and when i say everything, i mean his wife. maggie and he got married. in the spring just like fausto wanted. except the difference was that it wasn't arranged by the time they did get married - it was willingly. crazy, right? after they publicly hated each other and caused each other so many problems, it took maggie getting kidnapped from the castillos, a mexican drug cartel, to make luca realize how much feelings he felt for her. yeah, he loved her. a first for the giovanni who worked hard and had little time for a personal life. then a few months after the wedding, the hit was ordered and luca left. he never knew how long he would be gone for. sometimes you can strike a deal, sometimes it goes away, or the giovannis would take out someone in charge and the hit would be retracted. neither of those came about and one months turned into a year, which turned into four. it was called off. so, he still stayed in boston for another year. why? because he didn't know if he could go back. especially when you never had a civil conversation with your wife. it was all arguing and screaming. it was like before, only intensified about a thousand. but now, he had to go.

nothing was keeping him in boston. he had a gambling ring with the horse races. extra money for the giovannis. fausto had him doing things that wouldn't attract much attention to him. you'd think he was in the same position as he was five years ago, but no. fausto always liked him, luca was like a son. he had been steadily climbing the ranks, gaining more responsibility. alberto jr, visited luca in boston from time to time. when al wasn't try to convince luca to return to valkyrie for maggie, he was filling in luca on everything he had been missing. luca was being groomed to stand next to alberto as underboss when fausto either died, or was put in prison. it was hard to imagine you'd be on top when someone that had been guiding you since you were eighteen would have to fall in the process.

he was getting used to family members calling him, asking him when he would come home. maggie never called, but luca would have guessed that. over the past year, the calls were more frequent, and more demanding. violet would call telling him maggie deserved a husband that would be there, alberto said that luca finally had something good in his life and he was screwing it up. rocco wanted to know when luca was coming home. even his parents were wondering what was going on. luca's dad was telling luca he wasn't single anymore. he was a husband, he needed to be with her. she was his family now. the more his family was basically siding with maggie the more it kind of irritated him. shouldn't his family side with him? he was their blood after all. violet told him to grow up. maggie was around, he wasn't. kind of like a slap in the face, huh?

luca stopped. things had definitely changed. the building that once was owned by him didn't look like an abandoned piece of shit. inside the windows, there was painting, photographs, sculptures. it was a real gallery now. he never did get around to fixing it up as he intended to. he always ended up being busy. he went down the side alley, duffel bag slung over his shoulder like he was some vagabond. once he reached the door, he pulled his keys out. there was a big chance that maggie would have changed the keys. he wouldn't be surprised if she did, but the key slid in and unlocked and luca got in, went into the elevator, and found the ride up excruciatingly long. once inside, he noticed the loft was only a bit different than how he left it. it still strangely felt like home. he dropped the bag on the floor near the kitchen counter and shrugged out of his jacket, tossing it next to the toaster. setting his key down next to the jacket, he picked the phone up. there was no dial tone. so, he guessed they had no power and therefore, no one was able to contact her here. luca clicked the phone off and started heading to where the bed was. he could still see rocco's futon in the corner. old memories stirred up in the front of his mind. the couch maggie drunkly made out with him on still was in the exact same position as they left it. a few pictures luca took of maggie sleeping one night were posted against one of the walls. looks like maggie did way with the pictures of london he had taken so many years ago. it really was that long ago, wasn't it?

he reached the bed to find a lump under some covers. of her. well, this was the moment they were both waiting for, was it not? luca could have sworn he heard the familiar audible sound of a gun being cocked. what the hell. the covers sprang to life and luca's hands shot up to his head and ducked out of the way. "shit! maggie. it's me. it's me."

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STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "never say never" - the fray CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, new!laggie!!!!!!!
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[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, NIGHT, THE LOFT, EARLY JANUARY 2012

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-----love. never did it seem like it would be such a fleeting thing, but it was obviously easy for him to leave her behind all those years ago. years. god she still couldn’t believe that it had been years since she’d last seen him. maggie couldn’t remember being really, truly happy in the time that luca was gone, as cheesy as it may sound. she was a sucker for him, through and through. luca was to maggie some kind of spark, some kind of attraction that pulled her in. like electricity running through her veins he empowered her around every turn, even if he was only doing so by rattling her cage. maggie had yet to find any other man who held that same kind of attraction as luca. it was simple. no one compared. and trust me the drug lordess had looked. she’d become disgusted with herself and her stupid dependency to luca and so she’d tried. she’d watched guys and she’d tried to smile when they approached or when they flirted, but nothing, and i mean nothing ever felt right. she was ruined. she was like tarnished hardware or faulty machinery. luca had broken her and she was only righted when she was around him, something that hadn’t happened in nearly five years. she’d been devastated when luca had told her he needed to go. it didn’t make sense. he’d protected her, so why in the hell couldn’t she turn around and do the same for him. lord knows she’d saved his ass numerous times before so what would make this go-round any different? but it had been bad enough that fausto wanted luca gone and in the end, maggie really couldn’t argue with that. fausto was not only her employer at that point, but he was an uncle-in-law. though she’d never had family she really respected (she’d had people she loved like j.r., bella, and the younger siblings, but she’d never had too much of a respect for them) she knew that that would be a totally different story in the world of giovannis. and in truth, maggie respected fausto more than she’d ever respected a superior before. it was all the more reason for her to go and work with him in the first place.

-----needless to say the giovannis had treated her well. it had all started with the day after her kidnapping, that’s right, the very next day. juan corinthos wasn’t really the caring type but that man knew when he fucked up royally and feeding his daughter to the sharks apparently qualified. of course with little consideration for her actual health, he’d demanded she show up at his valkyrie digs so he could…well maggie didn’t really know. to be honest the conversation never went that far. sure there was apologizing, but it wasn’t good enough for maggie. after all the hell he’d put her through, through her entire childhood, maggie’s idea of begging forgiveness would have been groveling. but of course juan would never reduce himself to such a level. even pretending to have concern for his daughter was a shallow notion. she had seen it that very day when the droning of his apologies rang in her ears. she could still see that those words were hard for him to swallow. he’d never really cared about her safety, he’d always just wanted her to live long enough to know her secrets. but when the time came when the swift apologies fell flat and juan looked for the blam, his eyes stared down luca. that was the point of no return. maggie knew that everything after that point was just useless. she’d gotten over her father’s insanity at about the point when her life had been threatened by the very drugs he’d sent her to valkyrie to peddle. yes after her run in with jose castillo it realy had only taken one thing to happen for maggie to break and that one thing happened to involved luca. the moment juan stepped forward and backslapped luca across the face, maggie went void. like the blank stare in her eyes she’d felt nothing as she’d gripped luca, found the gun he wore, and shot her father in the kneecap. the sound of victory still rang in her ears. she’d screamed, hell she’d pretty much just lost it. maggie hadn’t had the time to recuperate from the fact that she’d been kidnapped and her father doing harm to luca had been the last straw. it had taken luca and three other bodyguards to pull her away from her father’s beaten body and out to the courtyard where she’d finally regained her composure. it was a surreal moment that maggie remembered thoroughly. the white gravel reflecting the sun to a nearly blinding degree. the green plants lush all around them. the shot of the gun still ringing in her ears and the sweet sound of her father’s screams of pain. it was at that very moment she’d felt freedom. true, unadulterated freedom. and she’d never looked back since.

-----working with the giovannis was a different matter altogether, and felt different as well. since she’d known all of her father’s contacts better than he did she was a valuable asset to the giovanni organization and thankfully fausto had seen that. maggie had been able to join forces with him. that was the greatest moment of her life. to step into a meeting with the five families in tijuana and tell them that she was taking over the corinthos business. there had been outraged screams until the families had learned she was backed by the giovannis. then everyone was super gung-ho to offer her support. it was like the chambermaid turning into the princess, a truly tainted cinderella story. and boy did it taste sweet. since then things had been all sunshine and rainbows, or it would be should luca have been in valkyrie. yes things had gotten easier, yes she’d fought off attempts on her life, but that was all part of the game and as infrequent as it was, yes it still rattled her to an extent. but since his uneasy departure, maggie had totally immersed herself in the business. first she’d gotten everything settled. with new power and new funding thanks to big brother, aka the gios, maggie had been able to expand the business in tijuana. people there found it much more pleasurable as well. people didn’t challenge her with the gios flanking her because the few people who’d tried in the beginning had been no less than obliterated. maggie had managed to even out the peace and made sure less people died on a daily basis due to an overabundance in mindless cartel wars. her new business had not only expanded, but maggie had tightened things up and made it more profitable than the gios could have imagined. not only that but maggie wasn’t a selfish one. her biggest payoff was simply being involved so the gios got a great supporting rate, so to speak. and even split, 50/50, had made the gios richer than they could have ever imagined when fausto had originally done business with the corinthos. when that had slowed down, or rather when things had evened out and people had simply accepted that there was a new boss in town, maggie turned her attention to the first floor of the loft. the gallery had been luca’s dream, or luca’s idea at least. maggie couldn’t explain why but for some reason a part of her screamed to finish it, or in this case start it, so that’s exactly what she did. maggie fixed up the place, made it look like a real gallery, and filled the place with great works by relatively unknown people. and that was supposed to be that. maggie would work at the gallery and all would be well with the world. except that when maggie finished it and opened it for the first time, she didn’t feel any closer to luca. in fact once she’d realized she was a part of making his gallery come to life without him actually being there…well she’d felt further away from him than ever before. so she’d passed the thing on to violet before she just went ahead and tore the place to shreds. it was at that point maggie realized she needed a business of her own. she didn’t need to continue anyone’s dream. she needed to fund her own.

-----the m lounge was a result of that, and had by far been one of the best decisions maggie could have made. it was something that always needed tweaking, something that always needed work. there would never be a perfect performance that could be replicated again and again. besides that would have been boring. so she made the lounge, made it a front for her other business, and she dove in head first. maggie had nothing else than her work for the longest time. she couldn’t have been bothered with anything else. you see when she wasn’t working, all she would do was think of luca and that unimaginable pain and loneliness from being left behind. pushing herself into every aspect of the business kept her mind from wandering and kept her from really losing it so instead of it being her go-to place whenever she needed a break, maggie simply retreated into her club. she was there every night making sure everything was perfect and when that was done she was in the back working on books, setting up deals, and making herself and the gios pools of cash. fausto likely couldn’t complain, but her friends sure noticed. widow was away with j.r. but even she could tell by her voice that things changed over time. allie had made a point to stop by at least twice a month and drag her out by her hair for a girl’s night simply to make sure maggie stayed in the real world. she was a mess, but only to the people who really knew her. from an outsider’s perspective she was the epitome of a hard worker…if only.

-----she’d been home the day of the quake. she had just hopped out of the shower and had dressed when things around her began to rumble and shake. her first thought hadn’t even been her life, but her club. slowly that place had become her life. it was the getaway from her life and god forbid that place go down as a pile of rubble. everything she’d worked so hard for. the elevator had gotten stuck at the ground seemed to roar, but all in all the loft was untouched. something about the sturdy interior the architect’s grandson would later say. either way the only thing that had seemed to bite the dust was the elevator which now liked to take it’s dear time as it scratched up the shaft to the second floor. one bout with that stupid mechanical nightmare had made maggie swear to the stairs. they were faster anyways. not a few short hours after the quake, and the few aftershocks she noticed, maggie set out for the club. that had been the most time consuming part of her day, because the roads to the m lounge had been trashed. she’d finally said the hell with it and left her car parked on the side of the road and had walked the rest of the way to her club. to her amazement it had been fine and she’d spent the rest of the day trying to get home in her car. she’d been exhausted but sleep was always difficult for maggie. it was the stillness and the quiet that always got to her, because her mind always got louder to fill in the empty spaced. so she lay there. and it was exactly what she was doing the moment she heard the elevator begin to groan. anyone with a brain wouldn’t have trusted that thing after a quake, so maggie was immediately on her guard. she decided to fake sleeping, going the curious route to see what idiot had stumbled into her midst. she slid her hand under the pillow where her trusty little 9mm beretta sub-compact pistol lay in cases of emergency. she listened for the footsteps and when they were close, like next to the bed close, maggie shot to her back, pistol in hand and pointed at the head of her attacker. only this was no attacker. immediately her gaze turned from awareness to sheer anger as she cocked the gun and pointed it at the lying, no good bastard who she called her husband. ”get the fuck out!” she screamed as she followed luca’s jittery movements with the gun. he should be worried damn it! ”i said get out you no good, lying, son of a bitch!”

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status • finished
words • 2184
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes • we can stop here or keep going. i don’t mind.

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[luca angelo giovanni]

----IT DIDN'T MATTER THAT MAGGIE HAD BEEN PRETENDING, to be sleeping, it didn't matter that she tried to shoot and intruder. what did matter was that she saw who it was and continued to aim the gun at him. he knew he wasn't going to get an arms wide open welcome hug from her. he would have been stupid to think she would. even if they had been apart for the past five years now, he still knew her better than anyone here. she could deny it, but she'd know deep down he was right. just like she knew him better than anyone. they were each other's weaknesses. still. they knew how the other worked. like, as badass and sexy it looked for her to be pointing a gun at him, he knew she wouldn't shoot it. what the hell would she do if he was dead? "i'm not leaving, this is my fucking house, too." he told her when she said to him to get the fuck out. even if it took her two seconds to piss him off, he knew he couldn't fight fire with fire because that was what they always did and look where they ended up? always fighting. maybe for once he should actually be cool about this? this was going to be new.

"babe. look, i'm sorry. everyone was just worried. the power's out, so the phone line is and no one could get a hold of you," luca started edging his way closer as maggie kept the gun steady. "fausto called me this morning and told me he wasn't able to get in contact with you." luca dropped his hands to his sides. "i was worried about you. so, i'm back." he knew most of her probably wasn't buying it, and why should she? was luca ever this apologetic? ever? no. but could maggie really not soften a little bit because it was him? he was sure if maggie ran her hands through his hair like she used to, he'd be weak in the knees right then and there. "and from the looks of it, you seem fine, right. so just, put the gun down."

why had luca been gone this long? staring at her right in the eye, he knew he fucked up. he loved her so much and he could kick himself that he left her for that long. the longer he had been in boston, the more lonely he had gotten. before he met maggie, he was used to long jobs, just hanging out my yourself working for the greater good. now, he had that person he wanted to go home to, wanted to be with, wish he was fighting with just so they could make up by the end of the night. suddenly, he didn't have that and as he sat in a bar at two in the morning, did he realize how boring his life had been before maggie came and messed it all up. it was the best mess he had ever been in. and then he went to sleep every night in a shit apartment he had to be set up in for the cover with a red neon light flashing on and off every second from the 'vacancy' motel sign outside his bedroom window, and he had to wish every night that he was back home, in his own loft, in his own bed, sharing it with maggie. if you called him a sap, he'd personally shove a pistol in your mouth and make you pull the trigger then see who's the sap. but everyone needed that person. and maggie was 'that person.' he had her, and then he left. it's not like he really had a choice. some russians were trying to kill him. he kinda wondered sometimes if after their last fight before he left for good, he should have just asked her to come with him. it could have been completely different. they could have worked in boston, or did some odd jobs from italy for a year. though he wondered if she would have even come. looks like she now had a lot invested in valkyrie. from being thousands and thousands of miles away from her, he never really stopped keeping tabs on her. he made his cousin, lorenzo give him updates on maggie. yes, he was spying, and he didn't care. wouldn't you spy on your wife if you weren't around?

and she was aiming a gun at him out one minute too long. he allowed her to do that only because he knew he deserved. trust him, if he didn't want it in this face, it wouldn't be in his face. "come on, mags," he said edging close enough so that the gun was about three inches from his chest. he gave her a small lop-sided smile before he snatched the gun, and wrestled it away from her. "you know how much i hate when you threaten me with a deadly weapon." his mind flashed to the night when they had to stay in the run-down motel during valkyrie's freak snow storm incident when maggie pressed her knife against his throat when he pissed her off, or the time she was pressing her precious knife against his family jewels. luca disarmed the gun and placed the pieces on the dresser. "and when did you start playing with guns? where'd the envelope openers go?" he asked in reference to her knives. he turned back around, facing her. and awkward moment passed between them. he looked around the loft a bit. "i, uh, like what you did to the place."

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STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "never say never" - the fray CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, i know it's kinda short, but i hope i gave enough to go out of.
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[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, LUCA’S LOFT, JANUARY 2012

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-----for the longest time maggie had told herself that she was better off without luca. she would often tell herself every time she felt like her will have have fractured and she was close to a break down, or even just as something she said aloud as breakfast because breakfast was so damn silent with no one else in the house. she would say it just to say that she’d spoken that day, because usually unless she was at work, and even when she was at work, there were times when she didn’t speak at all. but then there were those times…those times that really tested her will power and her sense of self, of course when she always failed, but at those times she would be alone in her loft, see hers…not his, and she would have to scream the words “i’m better off without him.” simply because soft spoken words wouldn’t break that haze within her psyche. she wasn’t screwy. she wasn’t crazy. she wasn’t just alone at a time when that was completely unnecessary. what point did it serve for them not to be together? honestly. together they only had a short time in this world and they spent a big chunk of that apart? like in the soap operas, it made no sense. for some wayward husband who was lost twenty some-odd years ago in a mystery disaster where his body is never found and pops up at a time when the ratings have hit a low and they need something scandalous to bring back viewers. maggie hated that kind of fantasy crap but what she hated more was that the wives, the ones that had suffered that seemingly endless break in time, just welcomed them back like the long lost loves they were made out to be. WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY SMOKING? maggie would have loved for everything to be all hugs and sunshine and rainbows the moment she saw luca. she would have loved to throw down the gun and leap into his arms and pretend that he hadn’t left in the first place, they hadn’t said their harshest words to one another, and that she hadn’t been a solitary, lonely mess for the entire time he was gone. the women in soap operas, they got over it. they found someone else who kind of compared and they had a kid or they had some useless fling or they just had SOMETHING, but maggie never could. she couldn’t look at member of the opposite sex and see someone she could be attracted to, because luca had broken her. he’d somehow made it so she could only love him and because of that there was no drama-worthy moving on written in the books for maggie. oh how she would have loved for luca to come back all humble that he was and find her curled up next to a new man. then made he would feel the kind of hurt she felt now.

-----words couldn’t describe the emptiness, and the emptiness only brought on anger and regret. you see she sounded like that stupid stewart chick from that sparkly vampire book. the one that loved some otherworldly being so damn much that when he tried to leave to save her she broke down like a total wuss and was useless for about three fourths of the book/movie…no she hadn’t read it. the movie had been playing on one of those television setups you see in the electronics section of a store. she’d been mopey and absolutely disgusting on about twenty different sized and different quality screens for more than an hour. the part that pissed maggie off was that she could relate to this girl and the fact that there was a fan following for this kind of sob story, and that she had her own similar sob story, had been the part to really get her blood boiling. she’d made herself feel better by buying one of those televisions right off the display, taking it home, and pulverizing it with a metal baseball bat. at about that point, maggie had begun hiding her wallowing a little better than that. she’d noticed too many similarities between her and that girl, and that beefy, puppy-eyed boy and allie. she didn’t need saving. maggie was strong enough to save herself any time it came to that, she’d simply needed a jolt back into the real world and smashing that television into a million pieces had done that. it was after that point that maggie retracted all of her outward feelings and emotions. she hid herself away so well that even the people closest to her, save for a select few, figured she was fine and had gotten over it. only the very few, like allie, had seen that she’d just found a better way of hiding her emotions. she saw that instead of hiding alone with her grief that she’d projected her emotions into doing her job and had dedicated all hours of the day to work. and that part was true. when maggie felt something coming on, she went to work and buried herself in the books until seven or so hours later when she couldn’t feel anything anymore. not her head, not her heart, and certainly not her hands.

-----yes she’d been a wreck but she had learned to cope with that in a way that had been wholly productive. she hadn’t heard any complaints from fausto whose cut of the profits had increased dramatically similar to the moment when he’d gotten his big payoff from maggie taking over for her father’s business. the giovanni business now had more money than god and a big part of that was because luca had left and maggie had found her coping mechanism. what the hell would fausto have to complain about…other than that. maggie though had much to complain about now that she was staring down the one reason for her break downs and her reason for practically living at her club. she was in fact staring down her very own husband, returned home from his time on the battlefield. god she should just throw everything down and pray at his feet in thankfulness that he graced her with his presence shouldn’t she? SHOULDN’T SHE?! his falsly humble words only succeeded in pissing her off more, to the point where just for a mere moment, she debated on actually shooting him. nothing fatal of course, just a giant, whopping shot to the forehead. ”bullshit! this is not your house.” she sneered, fighting really hard not to scream as she followed his movements with the pistol. ”you lost the right to call this place your home when you were gone for four years!” she knew she should just forgive him and let that be that but honestly it was more so a matter of pride than anything else. he had embarrassed her something fierce when he’d left and never come back. she’d fought it and she’d tried not to feel ashamed but she did and now that she’d somewhat conquered that he was back, a glowing reminder of just how easy it was to be screwed over. no. she didn’t want him back. she just wanted him to leave and let her get back to this hollow shell of a life because that was all she could manage.

-----she couldn’t help but grip the gun tighter as he tried to coax her into putting it down. she wasn’t about to give into him now. just to show him that he still had that undeniable kind of power over her. no! no fucking way! he would have to pry this gun out of her fingers…which was exactly what he proceeded to do when he saw that she wasn’t near ready to be talked out of anything. she held on to the gun as best she could but he was stronger than her …and halfway through she gave up anyways. the shock of feeling his touch had been a good chunk of the reason why she’d let go and when maggie had been ripped away from the cold, shiny hunk of metal she immediately retracted her hands, blinking in shock. he was real. this wasn’t just some dream she’d been having like those many times before. this was reality. this was luca really standing in her bedroom, really coming to check on her. she glanced away as luca started trying to make a conversation with her. she wasn’t ready to talk to him. she wouldn’t ever be ready to talk to him. she shook her head for a moment before she slid onto the floor, having been on her knees on the bed which made her appear about her real height. she tried to walk away but found herself reeling by the time luca spoke up again. she turned to him, anger in her eyes because honestly she couldn’t afford to feel anything else at the moment. her emotions were frazzled and raw and she wasn’t sure just how much she could take before she broke down and either went at him with her fingernails or just collapsed in a heap on the floor. ”sorry if it’s not to your fucking liking.” she said walking towards him, putting her hands on his chest and giving him a good, hard shove. ”i’m sorry that i didn’t rush to clean up the place after some earthquake came through and knocked shit off the shelves.” she pushed him again, this time fighting the tears in her eyes. "i'm sorry nothing around here is to your god damned standards!" yeah she was about ready to break. good work and record timing luca. it had only taken about two minutes to turn your wife into a lunatic.

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status • finished
words • 1657.
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes • poor maggie. she’s a wreck.

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[luca angelo giovanni]

----LUCA HAD FALLEN INTO A PATTERN, when he was in boston, all he could do was his job. woke up, rolled out of bed, and found himself in a bar most days. not to drink away what was left of his sanity, oh no, it was because most of his work was there. in seedy bars where the horse races were being broadcasted. it was like a completely new life. he'd get in some funk for weeks, or months at a time where he felt like this was what he was going to do for the rest of his days. and then one day, alberto would show up with new from the homebase. or, fausto would call saying what a good job he was doing. or john would come by demanding for them to go out on the town and for a night, or a couple days, it was like he was old luca again. the one that could have fun, drink beers to have a good time, not drink beers just to have something in front of him for eight hours. but on some of those nights with john when they'd go to new york city just because luca wanted to get out of boston, he'd get reminded of maggie in the simplest ways. women would be all over john, and luca would be growing impatient with some girl sitting at the bar with him heavily flirting with him. and luca would be siting in the stool next to her, drinking a beer, twirling his wedding band around his left ring finger while wondering if the woman next to him actually had a brain or wanted to amount to anything besides a trophy wife. luca realized you can't go from having maggie - who was such a handful it was tiring, to going to a woman who you basically had to force feed what you wanted them to say. even if he had fun with john all the times he came to visit, luca wanted maggie to be with him.

the first couple years, he always was hopeful, the next ring on his phone, or knock on his door would be maggie. of course, it never was and the more time passed, the less hopeful he had become. he knew things ended badly. but did they really 'end?' they never got divorced, it wasn't like neither of them didn't wear their rings, because his band was still on him and from what he could see, the rock fausto made him give her was still on her left finger too. he even remembered how he had given it to her. outside of banquet hall, shoving it on her finger like it was nothing. so careless. so how much weren't they together when everything was still in place like he never left? he didn't know about her, but he told people he was married. for as much as he spied on her, he wondered if the couple times violet visited, trying to convince him to come home, if it was a set up. violet said maggie and her were pretty close. and luca wasn't stupid so, he would bet everything luca would say was going to go right back to her. every time it was always the same. he couldn't go back. the russians would kill him, and after they killed him, they'd kill maggie. he was sure of it. so that was his excuse for those first three years, what was his excuse for the last year? when the hit was called off and luca still remained in boston? it was being a coward was what it was. but years were going so fast for him at this point, it was like he didn't even know a year had gone by and then fausto called him yesterday and he was shaken from his what was like a deep slumber.

she started yelling at him again. about the house. how it wasn't his. and maybe, well maybe that was true, he hadn't been here in so long, he almost had forgot he use to live here by himself even before they shared it. he wondered how long it had taken her to replace some of the stupid shit he left behind when he took off. or how long it took for her to start redecorating it. had he really reminded her of so much? but technically, it was still his. legally. he knew if he would mention that she'd probably start throwing shit at him like she used to. he had gotten good at ducking and getting out of the way during those moods. luca wondered if he still had it. ok, luca shook his head internally. he had to take this more seriously. because she was, and as always, luca was along for the ride. hey, but one more laugh as he took the gun from her. he always found it cute that she actually thought she had more strength than he did. see? difference between maggie and the mindless droids in new york. by the time he unloaded the bullets from the bullet, maggie turned at him. and damn, did he recognize that look. she was angry. he could see that fire lit of pure hatred behind her gaze and either he could let it out of her system, or try to cool the fire down a bit. luca was going to go for the latter.

she started bitching about the house again, and then she was coming after him. her hands were placed squarely on his chest and she gave a shove. luca stumbled backwards. "i never said i didn't like it!" he told her. but she wasn't finished with him yet. ”i’m sorry that i didn’t rush to clean up the place after some earthquake came through and knocked shit off the shelves.” there was another shove and luca took it, and told her, "i never said you had to. i came back to see if you're ok." "i'm sorry nothing around here is to your god damned standards!" he could see she was on her last leg, maybe all she did need was for her to get it out of her system. she went to shove him again, but before she could start pushing, luca grabbed both her hands that were placed on his chest. he could feel her warm hands underneath the cotton shirt and the diamond ring digging into his palm. he squeezed her hands against his chest. "maggie. please. i'm home, ok? for good." yeah sure, they had a lot, a lot to talk about. but right there, so close to each other, closer than they had been in years, he didn't want to think about the gap of years they were apart. he just wanted to be here.

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STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "never say never" - the fray CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, =)
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[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, LUCA’S LOFT, JANUARY 2012

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-----maggie didn’t want to be this person. she didn’t want to be this weepy, hollow mess that had been created the minute luca had walked out the door and who had learned how to hide it better but really was still nothing more than a weepy, hollow mess. because things had been like this for four years now. things had hardly changed from the first day when she’d sat on the bed, her bed, and just stared at the elevator doors hoping and wishing that luca would just come back. but of course things never work out the way you want them to. that kind of shit only works in the movies. luca was far from any prince charming disney had ever dreamed up. maggie was far from any princess or damsel in distress. she wasn’t hopeless and she could fend for herself. she’d been in many a sticky situation alone, not just the one time where luca had been forced to come to her rescue some five-ish years ago. after she’d taken over for her father there had been many a case when a member of the five families, or one of the members of said family’s organization, had not been happy with the gender of the person they were working for and had sought out to scare maggie away. even with a big backing like she had from the gios there were still a handful of jackasses who figured they would show how macho they were and stand up to her, only to be brought down a peg or two. you see she could handle herself. though the knives used to be the weapon of choice, maggie was skilled with many a dangerous artifact. hell give the woman a ceramic mug and we’ll see if she can’t do a little damage. she was resourceful, one of the few things she hadn’t been the day of that damned kidnapping.

-----that seriously had to be one of the worst days of her life, you know aside from every day of the four years spent away from luca but after a while that just blurred into one giant clusterfuck. that didn’t count in her book because it accumulated way past one day, but back to the point. the day of the kidnapping everything that could have gone wrong did aside from the car breaking down on the side of the road. a run in with london, going toe to toe with luca, smacking the living daylights out of him, and walking off. but it always gets better right? she’d been called to the pier by a former client who apparently wanted some of what she’d used to barter and so she’d gone to meet him. come to find out rather quickly that the whole thing had been a setup. maggie later learned that it had been in fact her dear older brother raoul who had called the former client and threatened him to the point where he’d agreed to call maggie. she’d been grabbed, she’d been knocked unconscious, she’d been tied to a chair, and she’d been drugged into happy oblivion with the very stuff she’d brought along with her, as well as something else she didn’t recognize. fun right? the only, and she meant only, redeeming thing that had happened that day was that maggie had really solidified in how she felt about luca. after coming out of that drug-induced haze and seeing him again after thinking he might have been dead…well it tends to make those real feelings surface and surface quickly. and they did. things were relatively good after that, not counting maggie’s momentary freak out where she blew a hole through her own father’s kneecap. sound harsh? well yes it was and when maggie realized what she’d done she’d felt bad for a moment before the sweeping sensation of total freedom had hit her. things after that had been a cakewalk. the opposite of what the night was turning into.

-----she wanted so desperately to just hit him and keeping on hitting him until he felt as bad as he’d made her feel. it seemed like nothing else would matter until they were on an even playing field because as things stood now they were anywhere but on an even playing field. who had come back with all smarmy charm and smirks thinking that that would get him back on her good side. who made stupid comments about the ownership of the house, putting in an effort to correct her when she seemed so on edge. who the fuck had walked in acting like she should have been on her knees praying before his mighty self who was back from the great beyond. hell to the fuck no. there was no way maggie was going to be making him feel any better. he hadn’t been sitting around in a black, empty void just waiting for something to swallow him up and make it all end. he hadn’t been feeling the endless pain of being left behind. he probably had a line of hookers and nightclub sluts out his door just waiting to bow before him so why the hell did he feel the need to come back and bring on just one more wave of misery? was what she was feeling not good enough for him? was she not broken down and depressed enough for his liking? would he have rather maggie shown her absolute despair instead of hiding it as best as she could? what?! what the fuck did he want from her!?

-----she could hardly hear his words behind the angry hum in her ears, the loud ringing that just seemed to drown out everything else when she saw red. she saw his mouth move as she lunged at him once, twice. she could see that he’d finally recognized just how pissed she was. about damn time. the one thing about luca that always got on maggie’s nerves was that he never seemed to take her seriously. her anger was all just some big joke to him just like he probably figured she was overreacting. he’d never taken her seriously in the time they’d spent together. when she got drunk she was being a child. when she got angry it was a tantrum. nothing she ever did seemed to have any merit with him and this occasion was most likely no different. because though he’d learned to recognize her “moods” as opposed to her heartfelt emotions, he still didn’t take the time to figure that oh right, maybe there was a good reason why she was so pissed off. maybe it was deeper than him being a ghost for a good four years. before she realized it she was hitting him a third time only this time instead of the rebound she’d experienced twice before, luca held on and held her close. she fought it, tugging against his big, strong hands but yet again she was the weaker of the two and was left helpless in his grasp. it wasn’t until that moment that she finally looked up at him, her ears stopped ringing, and she saw him speak…heard him speak too. for good…she didn’t know if she could believe that. still it was such an incredible notion that maggie didn’t know what to do with it. ”don’t make promises you can’t keep.” she managed to whisper as a tear fell down her cheek. she wasn’t looking at him at this point. her eyes were focused on his plain, white shirt. she was shaking. she didn’t even know she was shaking. but finally maggie rested her head against his shoulder. actually it wasn’t a rest so much as it was an exhausted thump. but she didn’t know what else to do. when he finally released her hands she couldn’t help but to slid them up and hook them around his neck. she wasn’t sure that she actually wanted to welcome him back but at this point she didn’t have the heart to fight him anymore.

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status • finished
words • 1376.
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes •cute route. hope it's cute enough xD.

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[luca angelo giovanni]

----HOW BAD WAS IT THAT LUCA JUST WANTED TO STAY, here forever? he didn't want to care about the earthquake, or his job. him and maggie could just stay here, in the loft, for a week or two. he didn't like the word 'catch up' because that implied they were old friends, and considering they were husband and wife, 'catching up' didn't sound very appropriate. they needed to work things out. they needed to talk. but what was so bad that luca didn't want to talk? he wanted to forget the past four years ever happened. they had been so happy when they were married, luca had forgotten how relaxed he had become. his family had been so happy for them. mainly because they knew luca rarely dated. they knew he was all work and no play. to any other employer, he would have been the best damn employee. to his family, he must be unhappy because he wasn't sharing his life with anyone. luca responded with this usual comments with saying that he was fine. he just wanted to be his own person right now and focus on the mafia. did luca want a family? well, of course he did. the right person had never come around. he suspected when she did, he would know. you know, that feeling his family talked about so much when telling the story of their spouses. even still, luca didn't have that immediate feeling with maggie. it came later. how funny would that story be when they started telling. that they hated each other to begin with. of course the story would end with luca leaving for four years. maybe, maybe, they could just leave that part of it out.

how strange was it that luca and maggie had hated each other in the beginning, and by the time spring rolled around, it was all they needed to get married. happy to be with each other. their own individual craziness could only be handled by the other's. too crazy to be together, yet to crazy to be apart. the apart thing... luca could say he literally went crazy without her. how could he only hold onto a few months of memories with her? somehow he managed to keep himself company over the years. he wanted to be with her, he had wanted to hold her like he was so many times when he was in boston. luca wanted her to leave marks on his back, he wanted to kiss her, he wanted the scents of her shampoo feeling his nose as he laid next to her at night. it was just a constant list of wanting, all the little things he missed. luca didn't know what to do really. he missed his wife. wasn't that enough for her? as far as he knew, he was done in boston. fausto's call that morning was what luca thought was his last day there. though technically, fausto had said he could come back a year ago, when the hit was called off. but luca said he was staying a little while longer because the small book-keeping business he had going was at it's height. so, he probably was able to go home whenever he wanted. if not, he'd take maggie back to boston with him. that was what she wanted wasn't it? yeah. they could just move to boston. she wanted to be with him, right? this was their perfect opportunity to do so. but, luca knew fausto, and fausto probably wanted luca to stay here and be with everyone again. he was gone too long.

it was the first hit he had ever acquired. if this had happened when he first started in the business, he actually would have been proud. it would have signified him as a mobster. one group hated him so much that they wanted to kill him. the arrogance in him would have laughed. and really, luca was surprised it wasn't the castillos that put the hit on him. considering he killed a few of their soldiers and twisted jose's panties in a bunch. or there were the irish. the selwyns. what didn't luca do to piss off connor? he heard by alberto that connor was now the don. which he found surprising. just because he was so young, and luca had a personal connection with him through violet. but luca had been absent the past few years, therefore connor didn't have a reason to be a dick. though now that luca was back... the dick wasn't going to be anywhere around luca's godson, rocco. he'd make sure of that. there were a lot of things he wanted to do now that he was back. right now, he was with maggie, which would have always been on the top of the list no matter when he came back. he hadn't seen rocco since he was five. seeing him now as a ten year old would be a shock. he sent presents and such back to him every few months. even if he wasn't in valkyrie, luca promised violet when she was pregnant that luca would be the best damn godfather she ever saw. he could be a good godfather, but he failed at being a good husband. luca tried to write maggie a letter, or send her something. but harder than it sounds. since you know how hard it is for luca to express himself like that. all the letters he attempted sound business like and not meaningful, so he never sent them.

”don’t make promises you can’t keep.” her head was tipped down so he only saw the top of it. he could feel her grip lessen on his shirt. so he let go. he could feel her quiver against him. her head fell against his shoulder and her arms wrapped around his neck. his arms slid around her back, falling at the base, right above her shorts. "i'm keeping this one," he told her. luca started rubbing her bare skin. as much of a weakness he was to her, he didn't think she could grasp how much she could do a number on him without doing much at all. it was just her being next to him. her hair against her face, her skin beneath his fingers. it was intoxicating, a drug. he gripped her sides, unaware that her lacy cami was riding up and falling underneath his hands. "maggie..." he said, leaning over and finding the spot where her shoulder met her neck. luca brushed his lips against her skin. he couldn't help it. he didn't care if she had a gun to his head not two minutes before. luca pressed her closer to him, his hands moved up to where her bra was and is lips found hers and it was like they never were apart for four years. it came normal to him. the way she moved against him or how the heated tension between them seemed to enflame between the two because since when did they ever have just a sweet, long, kiss? right, never. unless one was about to die or they were getting married. no, of course they were angry yet passionate kisses and it wasn't long after that before luca pushed her against the nearest wall and started pulling her tanktop over her head.

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STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "never say never" - the fray CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, hottt like i said it'd be
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[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, LUCA’S LOFT, JANUARY 2012

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-----there was a time when maggie had been happy. just about every day after she’d attacked her father and every day before luca had left had been just what she’d hoped it would be. of course there was always that random time when they fought, but come on, it was luca and maggie. when were they not going to fight at some point? it was ridiculous to think that their tying the knot would mean that every possible fight they could have would dissipate. though the arguing had lessened, these two were not without their quarrels. they did it to get a point across or they even did it to get under the other’s skin in an attempt to get them riled up enough for, well let’s face it, angry sex. there were a million emotions in their relationship and they didn’t seem to function well unless every one of those emotions were heightened and they were butting heads like never before. it was part of their charm. luca could go toe to toe with her and never give up. had she tried that with any other man he would have gotten fed up and stormed out the door years ago but luca? well he had left but part of maggie had hoped that it was because he had to and not because he wanted to. wasn’t the saying something like you could only push a person too far without them hitting some kind of breaking point? or there was only so much straw before the camel broke it’s back? things like that. while they’d been apart maggie’s brain had reeled. did he really go because he had to or because he just needed to get away from his overbearing wife. if he hadn’t needed to just get the fuck away then why hadn’t he invited her to go with her. maggie had had very little ties to to community what with j.r. running off with widow, bella leaving for school, and her father out of her life for good. nothing but the gio business had held her down in valkyrie and she would have been able to pack up and move very easily simply because she was leaving with a gio. hell she could have explored different routes and different expansion opportunities on the east coast and yet luca hadn’t invited her. it seemed like it hadn’t even crossed him mind either the day they’d had their massive fight and luca had been told to go. he hadn’t even tried to convince her of anything. he’d simply packed up his things and left after a very loud, very wordy back and forth with her. never was there any mention of just going away with him. it lead her to believe after a few months that for his sanity’s sake he’d left her for the sake of leaving her.

-----that, and everything else, was the hardest to cope with. how does a person cope with that? the one person you figure is right for you takes off because he can’t stand you anymore and you’re left behind feeling like no other man is adequate enough or could possibly measure up leading you to believe that you’ll be some lonely old cat lady twenty years down the road. she really didn’t want to be a cat lady. there had been a time of sheer desperation where maggie had sat around in a bar and actually tried to find someone that could take her mind off luca and…well no one had fit the bill. it was like trying to fit a toy square block into a circular opening. it just didn’t work. that wasn’t to say that every man she met was a square, though some pretty much were and some were pretty close. no she’d met a few guys that were spontaneous and liked to take chances but no one would take the kind of chances associated with a crime figure. it wasn’t such that maggie introduced herself that way. “hi i’m maggie cor…er giovanni and i’m a major drug distributor.” no it was never like that. but she never felt like there would ever be a good time to tell one of the rare few possible guys she’d met that she was in fact one dangerous woman. they weren’t the kind of men that outwardly looked like they could handle that kind of information. but then again maggie liked to think that she was humpty dumpty, broken in pieces on the floor. people tried putting her back together but there were so many pieces that no one ever knew how the jigsaw puzzle worked. only one person knew and that one person was nowhere to be found. yes that was a thrilling notion. maggie had stopped trying after she’d realized that she was dependent on whether or not the one person who knew how to put her back together ever returned. what would have been her sad, sad story if luca had decided just to never come back? where would she be then?

-----to think that the past four years is what she could have been looking at for her entire lifetime should luca have either not decided to come back or should he have died while on the east coast and she would have never seen him again. what the hell would she have done then? would she have continued to work on the books all her life with her nose down, crunching numbers until they all blurred together and she passed out on whatever cushioned surface she could find? was she destined to have a friend drag her out to a club by her hair simply to get her out of her backroom office? would she have dedicated every waking hour to making sure the m lounge was perfect and that everything was going according to plan simply to be nowhere to be found when the actual performances were taking place? maggie didn’t watch her shows that often. she found that they disgusted her. not because they were bad, no of course not, maggie had made a point of hiring the best this scab of a town could provide. but every time she watched a show all she could see was how it could improve or how it didn’t work as well as it did when it was in her head. there was never that perfect, one time performance that maggie could look back and smile at because everything needed work or everything looked better in her head. so after a while maggie stopped watching. she went to the practices, she told the girls what needed spicing up and how far to take it, and she made comments on or purchased costumes for the girls but she never stuck around to see the finished project. it was her club, she could work things any way she wanted to. so after dreaming up these ideas and throwing them at the creative director slash choreographer, maggie would go back behind the stage, down the hallway, to the big back room where her office lay, and she would stay there until someone came to her with an issue. that was the extent of it. the people working for her had to love it because aside from her ideas they had all the creative freedom they could think of. as long as they weren’t out there acting like a bunch of hookers, maggie usually didn’t have a problem with anything. she didn’t have a problem with it because she’d been numb for the past four years.

-----so why wasn’t she numb now? why was it that the moment luca came back into her life the world seemed to explode in technicolor. was that supposed to be some grand sign to her that he was the one? duh she already knew that. thank you cosmos for rubbing it in even more. maggie didn’t want to stop fighting him but it was pretty much inevitable. for four years her mind, her body, her everything had been screaming out for him to come back and no amount of anger could overcome the tremendous overall need she had for him. she would kick herself for giving in…later. she quivered, this second time when she felt his hands resting on the lower part of her back. it was so unfair that his one touch could do that to her and offset so many years of raw anger. her head shook as he spoke as she tried to tell herself it was all lies. he was just saying anything he could to keep her from trying to hurt him again. her breathing was scattered. it was slow and steady one minute as she tried desperately to keep her composure and rapid when that composure fell. all she could think of now was being with him when she should be wringing his neck. but in the instant that he kissed her everything fell away and she was simply moving instinctually. as he gripped her, she tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him in ever closer. as he pushed her against the wall she locked her fingers around the hem of his shirt, ripping it over his head. everything now happened simply because of her baser instinct. she tugged her shirt the rest of the way off, wrapping her legs around him as he hoisted her off her feet, pinning her in place against the wall simply with the weight of his body. she didn’t say anything. she couldn’t if she wanted to. but had she wanted to she knew any spoken words would just break this moment and she’d go back to hating him. right now she didn’t want to hate him. she just wanted to feel him.

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status • finished
words • 1667.
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes • FINALLY! xD

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[luca angelo giovanni]

----THE GOOD THING WAS..., well, there wasn't a good thing, but one thing luca did know was that he knew maggie was still pissed, livid at him. and luca only used that because he knew he could use it to his advantage. oh yes, luca knew what put her in the mood. hatred towards him always seemed to top the list off at number one. and then after, she usually just mellowed out, or fell asleep. luca was hoping one of those two would be the outcome of this. was he taking advantage of her? naw, he wouldn't say that. they were married they knew how each other worked. unfortunately, her flaws were crystal clear to him as his were to her. but somehow, they always met on the same brainwave and knew exactly what they wanted. and the moment he felt her hands through his hair... he knew. luca was getting her right where he wanted her.

luca felt her hand tugging at the bottom of his shirt, and he pretty much helped himself out of that one. he thought that even though they pretty much accented on the other's flaws, for the few amount of relationships he's been in, he knew theirs was far from healthy. but, he could never really see them driving around one day going into antique shops. or, going on a hike in the woods just because. they weren't a conventional couple. when would there be a book coming out targeting a couple like them specifically? let's see, a book on two people in a very dangerous business. a couple that hated each other to begin with. a couple that only knew make-up sex. a lot of make-up sex. they shouldn't really be together. maybe it would have been better if she sent divorce papers to him sometime over those years. the time apart was the perfect way out. they could have separated, there would have been no waiting, no thinking, no anything. though, luca could have walked in on some other guy in his house, sitting in his chair, on laying in his bed, and then luca would of had a big problem and that other guy would probably be dead. ok, maybe not that far, but just the thought of maggie with someone else got his blood boiling to the point where it wasn't healthy. a divorce was an out, but luca would hate it. how could two people be completely wrong for each other but completely right for each other at the same time? what the hell, right? honestly, luca would like to ask her if someone else could satisfy her the way he could, or touch her the way luca could. could anyone else get her heart racing like he was doing now?

he pinned her to the wall as she wrapped her legs around him. words were useless at this point. even he knew a few words would result in maggie at her finest, in which he wouldn't know what would happen. he felt her lips against his as he shimmied out of his jeans, unbuckling his belt with one hand. he readjusted his grip on her and pressed her harder against the wall. both his hands found her arms loosely around his neck. he gripped his hands around her wrists and pushed them against the wall too. pulling her hands above her head, luca started kissing her neck, one of his hands dropped from her wrist and gripped the back of her shoulder. the other hand seemed to grope at her hand until their fingers intertwined, locking together. he pulled away from her neck for a moment, but could bring himself to look at her directly in the eye. luckily, it wasn't that hard as the setting sun had completely dissolved and there was no power, so they were in complete darkness. the hand on her shoulder pulled the bra strap off her shoulder, rough enough for her to get the idea. luca pulled maggie from the wall and a few more steps and they fell onto the bed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

luca rolled over, staring at the ceiling. one hand fell on top of his chest, his other was still trapped part way underneath maggie's back and neck. this was usually the point where she rolled in next to him, her cheek resting on the arm that used to be trapped but found it's usual home around bare back. sometimes her arms would lay across his torso and then they'd fall asleep. make-up sex was a success. but the longer luca laid there the more nervous he became. he looked over at maggie. "babe. is something wrong?" oh shit. was it something he did? was it... bad? hah, no. it couldn't be bad. it was never bad. four and a half years shouldn't have made a difference. luca definitely still had it. she... well she definitely still had it. he was satisfied, she sounded like she was satisfied, so what was the big deal? "i know," he told her, "it's been awhile. but hey, we can just do it again. it's still early. at least for us." he smirked and moved so he hovered above her, his hand brushing hair out of her face.

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STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "never say never" - the fray CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, hottt like i said it'd be
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[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, LUCA’S LOFT, JANUARY 2012

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-----the fact that maggie didn’t have any self control in this situation really didn’t bode well for her inner self. never in the past four years had her mind and body been so far off from one another. her head was screaming at her to beat the living shit out of him or to kick him out like he so rightfully deserved. after all the pain he’d left behind had been so inexcusable and yet here she was letting him get closer and closer every minute that passed by. her head and her heart were definitely on different wavelengths because even though maggie knew that she was hurt and all the ways she could hurt him back before leaving him out on the street, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. the fact that he was here and back after all this time had her heart racing even if she didn’t want to admit it. no one would have ever assumed that maggie was a romantic because, well, she never let that on. she certainly didn’t tell people and it wasn’t like she really wore her heart on her sleeve for anyone other than luca. so she wanted to kill him. oh of course she wanted to rip him limb from limb and then put the pieces through a meat grinder even though that wasn’t remotely close to the kind of pain you feel when someone knowingly and intentionally leaves you behind…but damn if it wasn’t a start. of course she wanted to make him hurt in every way possible but the moment he stepped in, the moment she could feel the flutter of his shirt against hers and the warmth from his body radiating against hers, well the mental block fell into place that told her she should react with violence. instead when he kissed her she kissed him back. when he tugged at her shirt she ripped it off.

-----no the two major voices of her body were not on the same page. as luca tugged at her shirt and helped it off of her body, maggie’s heart was thinking “be with him. NOW!” while her head was screaming “damn it you should have worn something harder to get out of!” there was no winner here. maggie knew if she gave into him she would kick herself for it, but her heart won out over the sensible part of her brain. she embraced the moment, let herself go, and knew that this would cost her dearly but that she couldn’t go another moment without knowing what it was he felt like and taste like all over again. it could be possible that this one time, this one moment, with luca would break down the frail levy that had been holding back maggie’s true feelings and emotions, but she didn’t really care. she was sick of caring. maggie had spent four years alone trying to figure out what the problem was. she had spent four years caring and now she was just finished. he was here now and all she wanted was to lose herself. she just wanted to stop thinking about everything and live one moment of freedom since he’d left. if that meant she would fall apart immediately after? well that was a risk she’d just have to take. and lose herself she did the moment she really just stopped thinking and let her body take over. anyone watching could tell the moment she let go. her face relaxed of the tension and she began to actively get involved. she helped him tug off his shirt, pitching it halfway across the loft. she gripped her legs that had wrapped around him tighter, her hands pulling him closer against her own body. her breathing was shallow both in reaction to luca and simply because she was pressed up against the wall, leaving her little breathing room.

-----she knew that the minute she gave in this whole situation would give way to something much more. it wasn’t like those times before she’d been kidnapped when they had tried but one of them had always pulled away making the other feel rejected and subsequently angry. they had always played that back and forth kind of game before. one always tempted the other, finally getting them to that point where they wanted to give in completely before someone got it in their head to put a stop to it. they’d both been to blame. twice luca had done it. in the motel room after that ungodly californian snowfall and when she’d gotten drunk after the benefit when luca had given her the ring and had kissed him in her stupor. once she had done so in the hotel room right after they’d tried getting first hand information on the underground casino and had proceeded to get shot at. the adrenaline rush had been to blame then and when maggie had come to her senses all hell had broken loose. this wasn’t one of those times. it felt different. like the times after they’d gotten past that initial moment of hesitation, which pretty much stopped happening after she’d been kidnapped, where there was a realization that neither one of them wanted to stop. the feeling was similar here. it had been so long since they’d been together and in some instinctual way they needed to reach that point with one another again. even if he was back for the first time in what felt like forever. even if she was so mad at him she could barely speak. even if she knew that the moment they were done she would regret it. maggie knew that just like before when she knew she couldn’t let it go unless she knew what it was like to kiss him or kick his ass, she knew she wouldn’t be able to get through this little rendezvous if she wasn’t with him. it would eat her away until there was nothing left, just like what had been done when he’d left originally. she had no choice but to cave, and did so as they fell back onto the bed.

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-----and just like she had predicted the moment she’d really come to and her senses came back to her full force, the only thing maggie felt more than anything was guilt, shame, pain, and overall just sheer anger. she knew she’d needed to get him out of her system and knew she just needed to be with him. she’d also known that she would feel every bit of hurt rushing back to her as she’d felt over the past few years, but that didn’t mean she was all too prepared for how sick it was going to make her feel. she wasn’t sure whether or not it was just nausea or if she was actually going to vomit she felt so sick with herself. she had turned away from him directly after, her eyes closed tightly as she fought to even out her breathing and settle her stomach. she knew luca would see something was off. every time before, immediately after, she would roll in beside him, huddle against him, and they would stay like that till sleep or hunger or something else took over. but she didn’t roll into him and when she heard his slightly nervous tone she knew he knew that something wasn’t like it used to be. she ground her teeth as he started speaking again, just adding onto the anger she already felt. and then he really did it. mentioning that they could do this, sleep together, as much as they wanted to. like that would make up for everything! the fact that he was brushing hair out of her face couldn’t even soften her, even though it was likely a nice gesture. she couldn’t stand it. she slapped his hand away, hard, and shoved him back hard enough to hear him thump to the floor with a curse, taking half the covers with him. maggie immediately snatched up her shirt and underwear and slid them on so fast luca probably hadn’t even gotten off the floor yet. ”great. now that you’ve gotten that out of your system you can leave.” she said bitterly as she stood and turned her back to him. she couldn’t even stand to look at him.

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status • finished
words • 1459.
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes • poor thing. i feel her pain xD.

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[luca angelo giovanni]

----LUCA WAS A MAN. therefore, he had the inability of feeling sympathy towards maggie. it wasn't like it was him. it could be blamed on the 'y' chromosome that he had when he was born. it's not like he knew he was doing it. it was a common mistake that not only he, but any other man that was in his situation would have done the exact same thing. because, in fact, if luca would have known some of the things he was saying would set her off, do you think he would intentionally do it? probably not. he started off ok with asking if something was wrong. but really, it wasn't like he was wondering about her, he was wondering about himself and if he gave a well enough performance. luca also probably shouldn't of mentioned that the two should have at it again. not only did this statement dig himself a deeper hole, but it just made him sound like a complete ass. however, did luca know that all these things would contribute to maggie's last straw? duh. of course he didn't, because he was a man and just didn't understand. and really, he still didn't. even when maggie bit his head off, he really didn't know what he said that made her so upset.

maggie slapped luca's hand away from her face and shoved him away so hard, luca fell off the bed. he landed on his tailbone and hit his head against the nightside table. he sat there for a minute, completely dumbfounded. was this... some kind of foreplay? luca looked over as maggie pulled her shirt back over her head. huh, guess not. so he pissed her off again. what did he say this time? luca honestly had no idea. they were married. married people had sex, it wasn't that big of a deal. ok, so, luca had been the absent husband for a few years now. luca knew that that was kind of bad. should he of come home with flowers for her? was that what she wanted? i mean, when you think about it, his absence was really no different than if he was some soldier in the military going to war. if luca led a clean life would maggie have a bitch-fit if he had come home after four years at home. bitching that he left her for four years. it wasn't like his surprise trip to boston was a fucking vacation. the russians wanted him dead. why would he stay in the place where a red target was basically painted on his back? for all maggie knew, luca should be mad at her for not coming to boston. right? ”great. now that you’ve gotten that out of your system you can leave.”

luca frowned. "out of my system?" his voice sounded confused, almost angry. "hey, you wait right there, maggie," he told her finally scrambling up from his seat beside the bed. tangled in half the sheets he brought down with him, luca spotted his plaid boxers underneath some of the sheets on the floor and he grabbed them and slipped them on while maggie's back was still facing him. "you are unbelievable, you know that?" he said, making his way around the bed. "first, you try and kill me... again, then you hit me... again, and look, here we are fighting... again!. i can never win can i?" he wasn't exactly by her yet. he was speaking to her but he had yet to look at her face. "you're always pissed at me. and i'm pissed at you because you're pissed at me." he started pacing a little bit. she wrote him off like she didn't even care. oh. she was glad luca got that out of his system and now he can leave? who was he right now? some random from the street or her husband because, geez, you could fool him. he just didn't understand why she was so upset because they had sex. well, if sex wasn't on the agenda, what was going to happen tonight? were they just going to be playing checkers in the living room, maybe watch wheel of fortune? they weren't... like that.

"and then here you are telling me what just happened was me 'getting it out of my system.' i could be saying the exact same thing to you, maggie. you didn't try and stop us. because clearly there was definite points when you could have stopped. so do not blame this on me." she could said no after he kissed her. there was probably a good stopping point when she was pulling his shirt off of him. or fuck, she could have said something when he had her against the wall. she needed to stop acting like the victim. that was what he wanted to say, but even if he was on a roll, he knew she'd flip out on him for that too. "god!" he yelled in frustration. the loft was silent for a moment. it really was dead silent. no electronics were running, not the air conditioner, with the power out, you truly could here a pin drop. luca scratched his head and let out a sigh. he really only could come up with one more thing to say. he marched on over to her and stood directly in front of her. she was probably still livid because she kept staring through him and not at his face. luca grabbed her under the jaw with one hand and forced her to look at him. "i'm not leaving again. i fucking love you too damn much." luca was surprised he was actually admitting some feelings here. feelings she already knew, but somehow the l word always seemed to put things in perspective. he squeezed her face a little harder and looked her so cold in the eye most people would be frozen. "do you even love me anymore?"

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STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "never say never" - the fray CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, i know it's a lot of dialogue. hope it was ok.
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[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, LUCA’S LOFT, JANUARY 2012

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-----how does one overcome something like what maggie had faced? well there were always different ways but maggie’ preferred method was fighting bouts of isolation, depression, and a sheer unadulterated brand of anger not many could withstand. they were just some of her many coping mechanisms. what other choice had she had? maggie wasn’t one of those types of people who could face something like her husband choosing to leave her and just shake it off like it was nothing she hadn’t seen before. she couldn’t act that way because she wasn’t programmed that way. she couldn’t forget not only because she didn’t want to but maggie didn’t want to try and forget everything. luca was her husband and she loved him with everything she had. yes she was mad at him, mad wasn’t even a proper term for all that she felt,yes she wanted nothing more than to just lash out at him, but when push came to shove she didn’t want to fully push him away. overall she was just hurt and all she wanted was for luca to acknowledge that hurt. was it too hard for him to say “i’m sorry that i had to leave and i’m sorry above all else that i hurt you as much as i did.” all she wanted was for him to understand that all she’d done without him she’d done while not in her right mind. when, if ever, did maggie make friends of anyone with the last name giovanni? the entire family, that is. when, if ever, did maggie ever say no to a good time in order to simply work on the books or on something else just as meaningless? yes she had free rein with the business since she’d changed loyalties from her father to fausto but had all that she’d done in the past really sounded like maggie giovanni, formerly corinthos? not to anyone who knew her.

-----luca had to have known about how much his leaving would have affected her. he married her. that meant that without a shadow of a doubt he was supposed to know her better than anyone else on the planet right? after all you married someone when you met them, knew you loved them, and knew everything that you loved about them. so why didn’t luca seem to get the memo? honestly it was like he didn’t know her at all. her friends could tell just how much she’d been hurting. allie had noticed a long time ago what kind of toll this had taken on her and she’d made a point to force maggie out for fresh air on occasion. violet had seen the pain that had been there when maggie had finished and opened the gallery only to nearly tear it apart piece by piece with her bare hands. she’d seen the hurt and she’d volunteered to take over the gallery when she couldn’t face the memories anymore. widow hadn’t been in valkyrie for a long period of time but even she’d said something a time or two when they’d been on the phone. if it was so recognizable to the people around her who weren’t even supposed to have known her the best, why oh why could the man she loved not seem to see it. what? did he imagine that everything she did was just a series of antics made to play up the drama? luca should have known by now that maggie liked drama just about as much as he did, none. she didn’t like having to sit here and push him away simply because she was hurt. she didn’t like not being able to enjoy the fact that he was back simply because she couldn’t trust that after giving her heart to him a second time he would leave and never come back. if it wasn’t clear before, maggie had major trust issues. she didn’t like to stand up for someone and have them let her down. she didn’t like putting her faith in someone and looking like an idiot the minute someone failed her. maggie had spent her time guarding herself as a child. she had been force not to trust anyone because it would only be a matter of time before her father would use it against her. she had finally, finally taken that step toward trusting someone with luca and he had sorely disappointed her, possibly beyond reconciliation.

-----surprising thing was that had anyone else done what luca had, maggie might have even let it slide. she could have done so because no one else had the ability to hurt her as much as luca had, because she’d given him that power over her. friends were close to maggie but they’re been so in a different way. enemies didn’t even register to her. most family members she kept at an arm’s length, and had done so since she was a child. luca had been that one person. the one she’d let see her when she was most vulnerable. the only one she’d let insert himself into her life. she’d put the utmost faith in him and what had it gotten her? yes there were those few short months after they’d been married that they’d had nothing but complete happiness together, but then? then there had been nothing but loneliness, anger, and disappointment to an extent that no one could help her. all from the one person she couldn’t stand to lose, couldn’t stand to be mad at, and couldn’t stand to not be able to stand at this very moment. it killed her that she couldn’t just forgive him. she wanted to take one look at him, jump into his arm, and just let the past die in the past instead of living here, in the moment, festering to the point where the reality that she’d slept with him made her physically sick. did luca thinks he chose to act this way? she didn’t do so because she was trying to gain some sort of sympathy vote she was doing so because that was what she felt and what her body told her to feel. who would choose to feel like this? the only people that needed to feel that way were whack jobs with no lives who played up the hurt simply so someone would pity them because it was the only emotions other people ever showed them. maggie didn’t need that. she didn’t need other people’s pity and she didn’t need luca’s fake sincerity.

-----she tried to remain stoic as luca reacted to her words. she knew she’d be setting him off in some way but she really did feel ill. sick with herself for all that she’d done. was it so hard for him to just accept that and leave? apparently it was as luca hopped up off the floor, clothed what needed to be clothed, and stomped around the bed to her side. the indignity of his tone rolled off him in spades. as if she had no right to be saying anything like that to him. as if she dare speak to him like he was just some man she’d pulled off the street, fucked, and tossed out the door like an old toy. maggie was the one who felt used, but then again luca didn’t seem to grasp that either. he came busting into her house, hers not his, and expected everything to be all sunshine and rainbows and bowing at his feet for gracing her with his inhuman-like presence. well sorry to burst that pretty little bubble but she was the one who felt like the toy. she’d been the wife on reserve back in the old hometown while luca had chosen to stay away. she’d been the one without even so much as a phone call as he’d trounced around in some whole other region of the world doing god only knows what. she, was the doormat, the safe bet, the…dare she say it, trophy wife. she couldn’t even respond to him as he protested, trying to turn the blame to her for a second time. maggie wondered if it made him feel better, yelling like a child who didn’t get his way. she had to admit that chasing him around with a gun had made her feel loads better. ”you are not fucking staying here, least of all with me. if you won’t leave then i will pack my shit right now and go to a hotel.” she glared at him, fighting to speak with his hand grasping at her face the way it was. she grabbed his hand, wrenching it away even if it did hurt like hell. his grip had been tight. she squeezed her eyes shut as she heard that damned l word ringing throughout the loft. some nerve. ”you love me?!” she practically screamed, taking a step back as she nearly laughed with hysteria. ”you loved me so much that you chose, YOU FUCKING CHOSE!, to stay in boston when you got the all clear to come back. you loved me so much that you couldn’t possibly have thought i would have rather gone with you then stayed here in this SHITHOLE of a town by myself! the fuck if you ever loved me!” by the time she finished she was screaming with tears racing down her cheeks. she didn’t even feel them as they fell. ”no! i don’t believe you ever loved me. now get the fuck out because i swear to god you son of a bitch if you don’t go on your own accord i’ll drag you out bloodied and broken by your fucking hair!!” she grabbed something from the side table, what she saw moments later was a lamp, and pitched it at him, missing, but reverting to throwing things at him in an effort to drive him away. ”GET OUT!”

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status • finished
words •1679.
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes • boy oh boy has she lost her marbles xD.

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[luca angelo giovanni]

----TO ANYONE ELSE IT PROBABLY did look like luca was in the wrong. however, luca didn't think so. people may even be startled by their fighting. always screaming matches. this time, it seemed like maggie was screaming more than luca was, but luca increasingly got pissed off as maggie basically told him that he had just used her. that was what got luca's blood boiling. you know, luca might be a lot of terrible things. he was a deceiver, a manipulator, a sneak, a cheat, and maybe he didn't always fight fair, but one thing he would never do was use maggie. especially like this. luca loved her. he would go to say she was basically his other half. luca needed her, too. he needed her about the same amount as she needed him, even if she didn't want to admit it. honestly, he wouldn't have married her if he didn't want to be with her. they had been through so much, it was almost ridiculous. maybe he hadn't been there for her like he should have the past four years, but that didn't mean he loved her less. she should know, if he didn't love her anymore, they wouldn't be together. neither of them were people to stay with someone just because.

maybe he should just give her some space. and by 'space' that meant he'd still be around, just at arm's length. they both worked for the same person. it was kind of hard to avoid someone when you had the same job. and luca could bet now that he was back in full swing, fausto would have a brilliant idea that maggie and luca should work together on some new scheme. maggie could kick and scream all she wanted but when it came down to it, he was still around enough to be in her life. it was unavoidable. she couldn't be mad forever could she? a week maybe and all this would blow over? then everything could go back to normal and they'd both be happy again. she wouldn't be hitting him... or, maybe she would. she wouldn't be this upset we could say, and luca wouldn't become increasingly annoyed with her. he just wanted to shake some sense into her. i mean, it wasn't like he didn't want to be with her - because he did. it wasn't like he didn't love her anymore - because he did. i wasn't like he stayed in boston because of someone else - because there definitely wasn't. when was maggie going to realize it would always be her?

he knew at one point his once close family members stopped defending him and just took maggie's side. it was like maggie was the perfect one, and luca was the bad guy. yeah, like luca wanted this. like he wanted to be in boston for as long as he was. it wasn't like russians were trying to kill him or anything. we just won't talk about the year luca felt like he was just drifting in limbo. if he could say why he stayed in boston another year, you'd think he said it. but he had no reasonable explanation so don't ask him. if this was the sort of greeting he was going to receive, did he even want to visit everyone else? what was violet going to say? was she going to get pissy and not talk to him? what about lore? from what luca could gather, fausto didn't sound upset, he was the one after all, that sent luca away to boston. but now that luca was back, fausto just adored maggie now. luca saw it. fausto pretty much was sold on maggie on day one. so it wouldn't be a big surprise when his own uncle would be taking maggie's side.

"you're being ridiculous," he told her, when she said if he didn't leave, she'd stay in a hotel. was luca really that bad that she couldn't even stay in the same house with him? if he remembered right, he was the one that bought this place, fixed it up, and lived in it. since when was she talking about the loft like it was only hers? she gripped his wrist, as he held her face, forcing him to back off. and then, the shit storm only got shittier. maggie started screaming at him, basically putting words in his mouth. she was mocking him. he backed up a little bit as she continued to tell him that he really didn't love her at all. he could defend himself. he could tell her that he couldn't explain himself. he could tell her that she could have come to boston. "you're right maggie. i didn't marry you because i loved you. i also never told you that you were the only person i have ever loved. but you have me all figured out, don't you?" he saw maggie grab the lamp off the side table by the bed, and proceeded to through things at him. "fine! FINE! i'm leaving" he yelled at her as he back up against the wall and picked up the rest of his clothes and hurriedly put them on. he crossed the loft in a huff to where his jacket and bag was on the counter. he turned around to look at her. yes, the tears were smeared on her face, and she looked so sad so far away across the loft. and even if he was tempted to run across the loft and kiss her. instead he just said, "i'll just see you tomorrow, because trust me, you'll see me, maggie." luca turned around and got onto the elevator. manually closing it, he pressed the down button with intentions of staying at the inferno until maggie allowed him back into the loft.

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STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "never say never" - the fray CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, thread complete! <3
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