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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Jan 25, 2011 8:03:08 GMT -6
 VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, M LOUNGE, AFTERNOON, JANUARY 2012[/font][/center] -----for maggie, the lounge was like her home. it was her safe haven, it was her place to retreat when things got too hard, and most importantly it was the place she felt happiest in. no other place had provided maggie with that kind of happiness…well ever. had she been a superhero, or villain i suppose you could say, the m lounge would have been her sanctum. no place else felt more like home than the loung. why? because it was the only thing that was completely hers. the loft? luca’s. the gallery? luca’s. the business? a giovanni’s and thus luca’s. the car? her father’s. it was like nothing she thought of as her own actually was hers. she felt like a hero in a television movie who had defined himself as an individual only to find out that everything he owned and responded to was just a culmination of his family’s belongings and the ideas and rituals they’d instilled in him. the m lounge felt to maggie like the first place she could call home and this was because it had been the brainchild of her own making. no one else had suggested to her a burlesque club to be made in valkyrie. no one else had told her that doing something for herself was probably a better idea. no. everything she’d come up with for this place she’d done on her own. the idea wasn’t a hugely original one, granted, but she’d started the m lounge back when burlesque was hitting its stride in the more modern world and she was glad that it was a success. damn if it wasn’t a success for all the work maggie put into it. she was at the lounge so much it was ridiculous. she might as well have forwarded her mail here years ago and just lived out of the back of the building, something she was now considering now that luca was back in the picture. it wasn’t a home, but maggie had no need for a home. her familia had moved away, j.r. had run away, luca had run away, and the only ties she had to the community now were with the giovanni’s but they weren’t really a gather for a girl’s night kind of family. violet may have been, but no member of the giovanni member could say that in the past four years they’d ever spent more time at that loft then was necessary. maggie didn’t want it any other way. at this point the loft was just where she lay her head. it hadn’t been a home for a long time. sure she’d fixed it up, and decorated with her changing moods, but it never felt right and that was pretty much because the damn thing was empty without the one bastard who knew best just how to ruffle her feathers.
-----truth was that as much as maggie wanted luca around, she wasn’t sure if she could take him actually coming back into her life. she had been hurt, yes. she’d acted out tremendously, oh of course. but did she in fact want or need him back in her life? well that was a loaded question. should you ask her outright, maggie was preeeetty damn sure that the answer would be a fast “hell no. go the fuck away.” but if you nagged and continued to ask her what the hell was going on, or if she knew you well enough to trust you, then she would tell you that though she knew without a doubt that she wanted to be with him and wanted to trust him again, she wasn’t sure she was capable of it. all those little questions had come up the moment luca had slammed the elevator door to their, err, her loft, and disappeared from sight. the first being ‘why in the hell is he back?’ followed by ‘what the hell does he want?’ followed by ‘what the hell has he been doing all this time?’ that question alone was enough to make her stomach turn more violently than it had the moment they’d slept together. sad that the love of her life would make her so physically sick isn’t it? but the sadder part was that maggie couldn’t trust that when left alone for a long span of time, that luca would stay faithful to her. maggie knew what she’d done over the years. she’d ousted her father, she’d taken over his business, she’d cozied up to the giovanni’s like her life depended on it, she’d revived the gallery luca could never bring himself to finish, she nearly destroyed said gallery, she set her sights on making the lounge, and that was where it ended. since the moment the lounge became a functional business maggie had immersed herself in it so completely that people had to stop by to yank her out of the eternal pit of giovanni/drug business in order to give her some breathing room. that in itself was pathetic. maggie knew this but she just didn’t care. like said before, the lounge was her life. she could become totally engrossed in the business and never care again. in fact that probably would have made her happiest.
-----but no. that just couldn’t be the case because luca had to come back to valkyrie and just fuck everything up the way he always did. god had you asked her five years ago if she would have resented her husband, maggie would have answered no. at that point she’d loved luca and she’d known it and the thought of wanting to kill him after him having saved her and those real emotions coming to surface seemed absolutely ridiculous. because five years ago she had loved him. fast forward to today, and maggie knew she still loved luca, but one part of her, one very large, very hurt part of her, just wanted to let go and let that be that. she almost wanted to be done with him. she knew that if she did so it was likely she’d remain alone for the rest of her life, but hell that might have been worth getting out of this dysfunctional relationship for. the very thought of leaving this and putting it all in the past, it was unsettling. maggie didn't like it. this place was her home and she didn't like feeling so god damn miserable. she hadn't been sunshine and rainbows before luca had shown up again but at least she'd gotten past the initial stages where she moped around so badly everyone could tell. now at least she'd been moderately okay. on the inside she was like a live grenade, just sitting around waiting for someone to rub her the wrong way so she could explode. of course on the outside she was fine. hell she was stable. just by looking at her no one would have known that she'd gone through a...separation of sorts. no one would have known that she'd been left behind by a husband who couldn't even pay her the decency to divorce her. true maggie could have done so a long time ago. there were a lot of things maggie could have done but didn't. she could have gone to boston and given him a piece of her mind like she'd dreamed of doing time and time again. she'd intended to actually. she'd meant to go to boston after she'd nearly destroyed the gallery she'd just finished but then weeks turned to months and maggie just didn't know that she could do it anymore. what if she spotted luca with another woman? what if she blew his so called cover? there were a lot of what ifs and over time they built up into this massive weight that held her in place in valkyrie. she couldn't have gone after him if she'd tried.
-----still he made it seem like it was all her fault. like it was she who should have been welcoming to him after he'd been gone so long. maggie had to wonder though what she was welcoming? would she wrap her arms around someone who'd been indulging in women with his newly found freedom? would she have in her bed someone who'd been unfaithful to her? honestly that was the biggest concern maggie had. luca's fidelity. four years apart was a long time and though she'd never done anything of the sort, men were a fickle subject. they could either betray you or be faithful to you and honestly maggie hadn't been married to luca long enough to know which he was. it was a sad fact but that's what it was. they'd been married just about five years and eighty percent of that they'd spent apart. he wasn't a soldier away in battle. he was off gallivanting in another city far, far away from her. what the hell was she supposed to think? it wasn't like over the past four years they'd done any bonding. she'd never even heard from him. she hadn't even known he was still alive up until he'd come waltzing into the loft like he owned the place, albeit he actually did own the place but maggie didn't feel he had any right to call the place his own. "damn it!" maggie screamed as she hit the steering wheel of her car. she'd been sitting in the empty parking lot of the lounge for about ten minutes now and she didn't know why. the lounge was her refuge and it was like she couldn't bring herself to go inside. she finally did though, cutting off the engine, grabbing her things, and unlocking the back door to the lounge. as she walked through the incredibly dark hallway, maggie managed to avoid every possible hazard even without the gift of sight. see? she'd been around the lounge so much she could maneuver her way around blindfolded. scary. she made it to her office, unlocked the door, and finally flipped on a light, bringing the room into focus, a room she immediately wanted to go out of focus as she noticed the familiar face making himself comfortable on the couch in her office. "what the fuck are you doing here?" maggie asked, shocked. it had been a while since someone had caught her off guard but here luca was again...catching her off guard.
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status • finished
words •1767.
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes • yes there’s an spn reference in there. so suck it xD. graphics coming && hope you like.
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Jan 27, 2011 1:39:47 GMT -6
 
----LAST NIGHT, LUCA SLEPT AT THE INFERNO. he didn't really realize he had absolutely no where to go until he was in his car and driving. he found his car parked where he had last left it before taking off. luca was hesitant it would even work after years of abandonment. to his surprise, it started running and after filling the tank up, luca didn't even know where he was driving to. he could go to violet's apartment, tell her in the situation, and crash on the couch, but luca felt violet would have her loyalties to maggie. he, don't get him wrong, he considered violet, still, his closest relative, but he could guess in all topics concerning maggie, violet would agree with anything he said. besides, he was feeling shitty and didn't want rocco to ask a lot of questions. luca knew he would, and the godfather to young rocco wanted to hang with him since the last time luca saw him, he was five. but something happy was just something luca couldn't deal with at the moment. leaving the loft he once used as a part time bachelor pad part time studio, he had a feeling he should be feeling kind of bad. and he did. if he knew maggie would be that upset that they had sex, he would have been reluctant to walk in there. and she was throwing stuff at him as a way to release her anger, and then she started crying and even if he should comfort her and apologize or something, he was just so upset that he had to get out of there.
even though he would be welcomed with open arms at his aunt's house, his aunt was fausto's wife. he would bet that annora would end up telling fausto that luca was staying at the house, and fausto would have all these questions as to why he wasn't with maggie. that was just too many questions too soon when neither maggie nor luca knew what was really going on. luca told maggie she'd see him tomorrow, and luca had every intention of getting her alone again. it really wouldn't be that hard to find her. she could only be so many places here. he knew about the m lounge, mainly because lore told him maggie invested in a burlesque club. ok, so it was her club. luca was guessing she would be there. see? he did know her. so after thinking and driving for a very long time, (not to mention all the detours due to the quake,) luca decided he just needed to get off the roads because there were very few cars out because of the massive holes in the earth all around the city. hotel it was, he finally decided. he wasn't undercover, and he had been living in shit apartments during his time in boston, he was going to stay at the inferno. lord knew, he deserved it.
he went under a fake name. whether he called valkyrie home or not, he never used his real name in a way that could be traced. could never be so sure these days. if he wasn't in such a bad mood, he might have gone on the casino floor and played a few rounds of craps or black jack. luca wasn't really a gambler. in boston he was a bookie, in valkyrie he collected money. luca had never really been on the other side of the spectrum. oh well. after checking in, luca just took his bag up to his room, tossed it aside and crashed on the bed. mentally, he couldn't handle anything at the moment. it was just going to be easier to fall asleep, forget what had happen, and just deal with it in the morning. the next morning, luca woke up with the same person he was thinking about when he fell asleep. maggie. luca got up. went through the motions of taking a shower, putting fresh clothes on, and eating some breakfast before it was time to get down to business. he knew for sure that they probably had to actually talk this time. because from what happened last night she yelled, he yelled, then they had sex, and then they did some more yelling. typical, right? he wondered how those normal couples did it. how they could have full-length conversations without yelling. or how couples could have sex because they loved each other, not because it just happened after fighting.
it took a moment for him to look online where the m lounge was and once he located the area, he threw a coat on and left his room. it was still fairly early in the morning. well, early enough that maggie probably wouldn't be at the club when it didn't open till later. either way, luca wanted to get there before she did, just because he seemed to be making a small habit of showing up where he didn't belong. maybe this was being used as a dig. maybe he was trying to ruffle her feathers a little bit. back in the car, luca stopped along the way when he noticed a flower shop. the thought made him literally laugh out loud and he pulled over. he had actually never bought maggie flowers. was that... bad? did that show how little luca was affectionate? nevertheless, luca bought some flowers. he knew roses sounded so cliche, so he opted for just an assorted bunch of something colorful. he was more interested to see how she would react to the rare move than actually feeling good about doing something nice to his wife. once he got back into the car, it wasn't a terribly long drive to the club. he parked in the back. just because he didn't want her to see his car right away. he walked around the building a few times, trying to find the best point of entry. he didn't have a key so he was gonna have to improv. he found a window close enough to climb through from the ground. it must not have been locked because a few jiggles and luca cracked it open. another thing he's have to mention to maggie. poor security. after tossing the bouquet in first, luca hoisted himself up and climbed himself through with little difficulty. going through a window was never easy on the landing, and luca sort of landed head and hands first. dusting himself off he picked the flowers up and looked around.
from the looks of it, it looked like luca broke into the dressing room. the wall lining with vanities sort of tipped it off. so he was sort of backstage he guessed. maggie's office would probably be back here, too. he closed the window he entered before walking out of the room he was in and was greeted by a hallway. it didn't take him long before he located her office. luca wrapped his hand over the knob and tried to open it. locked. of course. good thing he picked up some well crafted traits as a giovanni. picking a lock. he spent no more than five minutes getting the lock to unlock. locking it again once he entered, he looked around. so this was her office huh? big surprise, no pictures of him were on her desk. he tossed the flowers in the middle of her desk and looked around some more. so this was what it looked like to have an office? luca never had one. he probably would have his own if the gios were run that way. he was high up enough on the executive branches, but it wasn't like the giovanni empire was run from an office building. he shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it across her chair. he was making himself at home alright. he ended up just laying on the couch that was against the wall across from her desk. he started drifting in and out of light sleep until he opened his eyes as the lock clicked once more and maggie walked in. the lights flicked on, causing luca to readjust his eyes to the bright lights. "what the fuck are you doing here?" he took some pleasure in seeing her face in shock. "i said i'd see you tomorrow, and it is tomorrow." he sat up and slid around, his feet finding ground on the floor. "i brought you flowers," he said, nodding towards the red, purple, and yellow violets on her desk. "you know, maggie. you never answered my question last night," he informed her. "so. what's the deal? do you love me anymore or not?"
[/size] _______________________ [/color][/center] STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "so far gone" - james blunt CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, =)
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Jan 28, 2011 16:04:45 GMT -6
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, M LOUNGE, AFTERNOON, JANUARY 2012 [/font][/center] -----when you compared maggie's life back before luca had left to the life she had now, it was interesting to see just how many things liked to change. first and foremost at that one point in time maggie had been wholly and completely in love with luca. she really had. she just didn't show it the way other people did. maggie was used to never trusting people and always having to watch her back and because of that, well it didn't make her the most warm and welcoming person on the face of the planet. maggie liked to be strong all day, every day. she didn't like appearing as if she were vulnerable. things like that were simply a waste of time. they were. making yourself out to be some damsel in distress was such a wasted effort and maggie couldn't imagine the kind of insecure woman who needed to feel important by being rescued all the time. it definitely wasn't her. no maggie was always empowered by her ability to stand up for herself. she loved being that kind of woman who, if her car broke down or if the elevator decided to stop working, she could stick her head into an engine or climb down the elevator shaft, and find out what the problem was. it was obvious she didn't mind getting her hands dirty. had she minded she would have never wound up being the person she was today. she would have probably been just another mindless, shopping addicted woman in her father's household who would be controlled by him and his power. instead she was self sufficient and had managed to take over the "family" business and turn it into something more profitable and stronger than her father could ever imagine. that was just her gift. the point of it all was that maggie didn't need a man in her life to make her feel complete, but maggie wanted luca to be there, or had wanted him to be there before he'd ducked out and left her high and dry.
-----another thing that changed was maggie's newly found reliance on family. that was a major shocker for her. she'd never had to rely on anyone before. coming from a family where you didn't know whether one moment your father would love you or the next he'd want you dead, it was hard to trust anyone. the same could have been said for maggie's own mother. sophia mitchell was a stubborn, pompous, shallow woman who had really only stayed in tijuana to milk her former husband for all he was worth. she didn't love him, probably had never loved him, and though she'd had two, count it, two children with him, he meant nothing to her. as such maggie meant pretty much the same. sophia hadn't even tried to love her daughter. she'd seen maggie as a bit of a meal ticket once she'd gotten over the initial shock of finding out that the man who'd knocked her up was a major crime figure. before coming to terms with that she'd blamed the unborn fetus for even existing just like maggie's father. what was it with these people for blaming her for the fact that she existed. they should be blaming themselves for being completely unable to keep it in their pants or keep their pants on. still they blamed maggie because it was the easiest thing to do. in a family atmosphere such as that one, yeah it's hard to really find you place among you family and actually trust them. there was no trust in the corinthos family and as such there had been no loyalty from the corinthos child. she'd never had any loyalty to her slut of a mother and she'd had barely any loyalty to her father up until the moment she'd realized she could go about doing his job better than juan could. since that moment she'd been free, and of course alone. it hadn't so much mattered when luca had been there but after he'd left she truly hadn't felt more alone. the one saving grace was maggie's new relatives, the giovannis. they loved her and maggie had experienced for the first time what family felt like. she'd had dinners with fausto in these big family gatherings, she'd spent time in the park with violet and rocco, she'd even kept in touch with cora after she'd split from valkyrie. all in all she had replaced her own sham of a family with the giovannis and what had surprised her was how well she'd taken to them. no hesitation, no nothing. it was like she'd been born into that family and she loved it.
-----but for lack of a better word her life had been altered. had someone told her before moving to valkyrie that this was the way her life would have ended up, maggie wouldn’t have believed it. in a way she still didn’t. she imagined that one day someone would pinch her and she would wake up to be once again trapped under her father’s thumb. of course back then she’d thought she was borderline miserable but nothing had compared to the way luca had managed to make her feel. honestly it baffled her just how much power she’d inadvertently given him, power she wasn’t quite sure luca knew he possessed. oh of course he knew that a certain few things could have her surrendering to him in no time like a spineless sap, but did he really know the overall effect he had on his wife? not likely. she wanted so badly to put it all behind her right now. she wasn’t strong enough to deal with it, something that was a bit of a shock to her system. for four years maggie had gone about unfeeling. she’d put on the good face around the family and she’d done as much as she could stand to get involved and to play her part, but on the inside there was very little there. like a shell. she had been ignoring her feelings about luca’s abandonment. she’d put it behind her, acted as if it never existed, and yes a few times her hearty exterior cracked and she broke down, but maggie was always quick to pick up the pieces. as of late she’d gotten better at it. she could smile, she could even laugh, but when she did it somehow always felt hollow, like the real smile was somehow locked away or the laugh was stuck in her throat and couldn’t come out in the manner she’d meant it too. it was because she hadn’t faced anything after luca had left. she’d cleaned up the house, she’d changed little things here and there, but she’d never openly talked about how she felt. she held back from everyone, even allie or widow. no one knew her true feelings though someone was likely to have suspected. still, she was so used to playing the role of the strong woman, the unshakable woman, the woman who couldn’t be defied. since that moment less than twenty four hours ago she’d been the fragile woman, the weak woman, the woman bound for a breakdown. it was in no way a nice experience.
-----seeking out her business was like going home. unlike the loft this place had grown to have more of a homey feel since she’d created it. it really was her safe haven. or at least it had been. before luca had come back it’s been almost virginal it was so clean in maggie’s mind. there was no trace of him here and it was here that she could really run away. until now. she nearly screamed when she’d turned on the lights and found luca sitting in her office. in that one moment her business, her baby, had lost a certain spark. it wasn’t hers anymore. it was just another place tainted by luca. maggie gritted her teeth as she spoke, her hand clenching the door so hard the metal, and the bones in her hand, groaned in protest. she saw the smug look on his face and honestly it took ever part of her not to walk over to him in an instant and rip the lips off his face. how dare he?! the loft was one thing but the lounge? the lounge was hers. all hers! she stepped into the office, slamming the door shut behind her. ”what the hell gives you the right to break into my business?” maggie said, cutting him off slightly. so what if it was the next day, she was still hurting from the last time she’d seen him and she didn’t want a repeat of last night’s tragedy. ”fuck your flowers.” maggie said with a sneer as she walked to the desk, picking up the bouquet and tossing them across the room where they hit the wall and slid into the trash can by the door. usually the presence of a bouquet of flowers would catch her off guard. right now she was too pissed off to give a shit. besides, they looked cheap. like he hadn’t even tried. had it looked like he’d tried maggie would have…no she probably would have still pitched them in the trash. walked back behind her desk, not bothering to sit down in the rolling chair. she looked up at him as he brought up the events of last night and scoffed. ”nope. sure don’t.” she said in casual response to him, turning her attention to the few papers on her desk. ”now leave please. i have a business to run.” maggie said as she unzipped her white lambskin jacket and draped it over the back of her rolling chair. thankfully the sunglasses she had yet to take off shielded her eyes from him, otherwise he would have immediately known that she’d been lying through her teeth.
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status • finished
words •1698.
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes •--.
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Jan 29, 2011 18:10:20 GMT -6
----THERE WERE SOME THINGS LUCA WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND. like, he always wondered if a couple knew that they would eventually get divorced, would they still get married anyway? like, they loved each other more than anyone, they wanted to spend their life with this other person. would they continue getting married because it's what they wanted to do then? who cares if they were to get divorced in the future. who cares if they would eventually grow to barely stand each other and hated each other. it was what they wanted at that moment. was that what it was like right now for maggie and him? was it really over for them? would they have even gotten married if they knew they were going to end up like this? luca just wanted to scream at her to wake up and ask if these were the type of people they really wanted to become. he wanted to pull her close to him, and just say that past four and a half years sucked, it did, but it was done with, they couldn't change the past and the only thing they really could do was focus on the future that lay ahead of them. luca didn't want to be with anyone else. he wanted to be with maggie.
luca continued to sit on the couch as his mere presence in the room was making maggie's skin crawl. ”what the hell gives you the right to break into my business?” luca shrugged, brushing off non-existent lint off his shirt. "babe. what's yours is mine. in case you forgot. but since i didn't have a key, i had to improvise. you really should learn to lock the windows." he smiled at her as he could feel her irritation growing with him. she tossed his flowers in the trash, and really? he hadn't expected anything less from her. he tried... ok he barely tried, so it wasn't like she hurt his feelings. "guess that's a good thing i didn't buy you diamonds, huh?" he smirked, and stood up. diamonds were always the answer, according to fausto. luca always saw his uncle's marriage to annora perfect. they were the foundation to the entire family. if one marriage was to work in the world, it was going to be theirs. he could never imagine them not together. when they were together, they were cute, annora softened fasuto greatly. annora to fausto was like what maggie was to luca; their greatest weaknesses. but fausto had let him in on a little secret. all marriages had their faults. fausto and annora would sometimes spend weeks apart as she still lived in valkyrie while fausto did his business in los angeles. fausto told luca that not everything was perfect between them. he didn't know how many times annora called saying she couldn't take it anymore that she wanted to leave. but, it was never what she wanted deep down, she was just letting out frustrations. fausto could always calm her down. why couldn't luca do that to maggie? why were they so... new at this?
maybe it wasn't him at all. maybe it was her. ok, that sounded bad, but it could be true. what if there was someone else? they never were divorced, but it was safe to say they had been separated for awhile now. could maggie use that as an excuse to start seeing someone else? luca started twisting the gold wedding band around his finger. suddenly, he was getting sort of jealous. he had never really thought about this until now. he always thought it was just him for her, regardless. but clearly, maggie was incredibly attractive. and over the past years, she had probably gotten lonely. lonely enough to look at other men. lonely enough to sleep with someone else. luca shuttered internally. luca never cheated on her. there were never temptation. that didn't mean there weren't other women that fawned over him. but he wasn't even the least bit attracted to any of these women. nor would he ever when he was married. the thought of maggie rolling around in bed with someone less attractive than him made his fists clench in fury. he trusted her, or at least he thought he trusted her. how could he know what she did every night for the past four years. lore couldn't possibly see everything. and maggie probably would have kept it secret since as much as his family was beginning to hate him for never coming back, they'd tell him if he was getting used. that's why luca was really interested in seeing what maggie was going to say to his question. it was kind of an odd question. not a very easy one to answer since clearly, she hated him right now so any admittance to this would piss herself off. "nope. sure don't."
luca stopped. he knew her response would be hard to answer, but he wasn't expecting that. now it was luca to be the shocked one. the one finally caught off guard. what she was saying couldn't possibly be true. if she didn't love him anymore, why did they have sex last night, huh? yeah, funny way of showing someone you didn't love them. before he knew it, she was telling him to leave. luca scoffed shaking his head. to hell he was leaving. you don't tell someone something like that and then expect them to leave. maggie was sadly mistaken with this situation right now if she thought he was just going to leave. he watched as maggie took her jacket off. he walked forward, stopping when he was at the front of the desk, directly across from her. luca planted both of his palms on the desk and leaned in close to her. "then what are we doing here? you want a divorce, maggie? is that what you want? by all means, let's get one so you can continuing fucking your new boyfriend without feeling guilty about it." the last part slipped out. but since he said it anyway, there really was no going back from that, was there? guess you could only keep going with it then. "i'm sorry i've been keeping you from him," he said and marched around the desk and grabbed her wrist and started yanking her towards the door. "what are we waiting for, right? let's go down to the courthouse right now and file away." he kept yanking her, probably a little more forcibly than he should. "because you don't love me anymore and according to you last night, i don't love you either." he flung open her office door and stood in the threshold, gripping her with one hand. "so why are we still together, right?" he looked back at her and shrugged.
[/size] _______________________ [/color][/center] STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "so far gone" - james blunt CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, angry!luca
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Jan 30, 2011 17:14:26 GMT -6
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, M LOUNGE, AFTERNOON, JANUARY 2012 [/font][/center] -----there had been sadder times in maggie’s life then this, but none of those times really held the weight that this moment with luca held. there was a lot at stake here whether she wanted to admit it or not. what were they aiming for? where were they heading? trust me maggie would have loved to know. she really would. she wanted to know just as badly as luca did whether or not they even had something anymore. the problem still pretty much lay with maggie, and she knew that. she knew that most of this was happening because she was hurt and angry and bitter and stubborn to a t. she knew that this mostly fell on her with the fact that they weren’t happy and together right now. yes luca had been gone a while, yes he had some back expecting everything to go back to the way it was, but maggie simply couldn’t jump up, hug him, and let everything be alright. she wasn’t built that way. maggie wasn’t a trusting person as we well know and the many what if’s out there just had her brain talking her into something that likely hadn’t happened. but she didn’t know that. she wouldn’t get a straight answer had she asked him outright and even depending on his answer she wouldn’t have believed him. she was a strong woman who had been hurt and she was a strong woman who never wanted to be hurt again. if that meant pushing luca away? well it seemed like her brain didn’t care where he ended up. her heart wanted him to stay. hell her heart had wanted for him to have never left in the first place or to somehow know that he had been an empty mess just like she had for the past four years but when push came to shove, maggie just didn’t know. the realm of the unknown was a forbidden one for maggie. had always been that way. she never jumped into anything with her father if she couldn’t somehow see the outcome. she didn’t agree to marry luca thinking that all of this was going to happen. she’d expected something a little less dramatic. truth of the matter was that even though she played a dangerous game, maggie didn’t make a move until she knew what she was heading into. with luca that was never a certainty. she’d slept with him already but what if he’d been just as eager to have hopped into bed with someone else? what if he’d been cheating on her since the moment he’d left? what if he’d used leaving as an excuse to see someone else? maggie didn’t want to think of all the possibilities that kept jumping into her head but she couldn’t seem to help it. she just couldn’t be sure and the amount of unrest that came with that was sickening.
-----the same battle could very well be going on in luca’s head, and maggie knew that. she had to hope that there was at least some little piece of him that had wondered or thought about her over the years. had he not wanted to he would have given her a divorce and let that be that. but then again why give up on a sure thing when you could have anyone you wanted in another city and still get all the perks of being married? maggie couldn’t possibly think that way but luca didn’t know that. he should have known that though. he should have known that by now there was no one out there better for maggie than himself but if that was the case then wouldn’t maggie have felt more secure in him leaving? wouldn’t she had been okay with all of this and nto have been completely torn up over the past few years simply because she had gone without him? yes it should have been a two way street and instead it wasn’t. it wasn’t even a one way street. neither of them seemed to have any faith in the other and their ability to remained faithful and you know what? that happened when you’d only been married less than a year before you’d needed to take off. they hadn’t had that time they needed to really connect back then. they’d been together, they’d been married, but bonding? true, deep down faith in the other person? that was a figment of their collective imaginations.
-----it was obvious too that luca didn’t trust her. not now. hell maybe he never had. her fist balled at her side as the snarky remarks continued. ”on the contrary, this club was bought and paid for with money i had before we wed, dear, which makes it all mine. you want to fight me for it?” she was ready for just about any battle with him at this point. all she wanted was to wipe that smug, shit-eating grin off of his face. the bastard. ”why don’t you, from now on, stay the hell away from my windows, doors, and just about any other point of entry. i don’t want you here. in fact…” she faked pondering the subject for a moment just for emphasis, ”i don’t think anyone wants you here.” probably a cruel thing to say to your husband but what could she say? his cavalier tone was making it extremely hard to want to reconcile. she didn’t even give the flowers a second glance as he spoke about them again. she simply turned her attention to the papers on her desk and pretended they were interesting. thankfully the curtain of wavy hair fluttering around her face made it easier to hide her true feelings. ”diamonds would have at least been worth something. i can always hock them after you leave. should have done so with my wedding ring ages ago. that’s what i get for putting it off.” she was intentionally saying things to hurt him now and in the process she was only doing major damage to herself. damn it she hated when the things she did came back to bite her in the ass. like when she’d said so nonchalantly that she hadn’t loved him. major lie. the gods should have struck her down hard for that whopper of a lie and yet? she was unfortunately still standing.
-----she knew her words were going to hurt him and yet she’d said it anyways. she’d even decided to twist the knife in her own chest when she’d look up to see just how much of a reaction luca had had. she shouldn’t have looked up. immediately her heart sank as she saw the clear and present shock written on his face. knowing luca and knowing that he didn’t usually express his emotions, she knew she’d really hit him hard. all she wanted was to say something that knocked him so hard on his ass that all he wanted to do was leave. apparently she’d either struck too much of a nerve or not enough of one because she saw him heading to the door, yes, but with her in tow. she squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to show him the clear emotions on her face as he walked up to her, grabbed her wrist, and proceeded to try and drag her out the door. ”what the hell? what are you talking about? no. stop it luca! STOP!” she wound up screaming. thank god no one was here or they might think he was beating her. she yanked against him but his grip was too hard. she couldn’t get out if she wanted to. then she heard it. luca talking about maggie and letting her get back to some boyfriend. so it was true. he didn’t trust her just like she didn’t trust him. he didn’t think that she could go all this time without having to have someone else in her bed. that might just have hurt more than anything at this point. at the fact that luca didn’t know just how much he’d meant to her which was why she’d been so hurt when he left. it wasn’t because she wanted to get back to someone. it was because she’d been left behind with no one because there was no one else for her. she didn’t have other options out there. it was always and would only ever be luca. in that one moment maggie stopped putting up a fight and by the time luca turned around to get a look at her, he’d looked back to find her just standing there, tears silently streaking down her face, her hair tangled in her eyelashes and thrown every which way with her jerk-y movements previously. ”i can’t take it anymore.” she said finally. her words nothing but a mere whisper that cut through the silence of the room left behind after luca’s tantrum.
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status • finished
words •1511.
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes •broken!maggie.
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Feb 1, 2011 1:47:46 GMT -6
----LUCA HAD NEVER DONE THINGS THAT STRAYED FROM HIS PATH. his five years ago, his path had always been clear. continue with his work in the family, get rich, be with his family, become alberto jr's second, and then die a very happy man. maybe somewhere along the line pick up a wife, have a few kids, and become the kind of man his uncle was. warm and likable to his inner circle yet feared by everyone else. five years ago, luca pretty much strayed from the path and did everything backwards. the thing was, luca fell in love. accidentally of course, but it happened. for one, she wasn't italian and she wasn't a homemaker. the only thing she had in common when his uncles married their wives was that maggie was young. maggie was eighteen. they got married barely after she graduated from high school. was this way they weren't working out? was it because they had gotten married so young? it worked for his family because it was just different back then. except marriages barely managed these days as it was. especially since they married as young as they were then - the odds would always be against them. and luca couldn't blame the fact they were forced to get married because before she even walked down the aisle, fausto told them it was all a sham. a way for juan sr. to make maggie back off. but fausto wanted it to happen. luca knew he loved her and vice versa, it was the decision luca didn't see coming in any of the scenarios of life. but they did it. they got married. it was quite possibly the worst decision of their young lives. clearly, the nasty part was being played out right now.
it started out as the playful jabs at each other. the flowers to piss her off, the way she threw them across the room to piss him off, claiming that the club was hers and only hers, and of course saying no one wanted him there, when clearly, maggie was the only one in here besides him. "somehow, i doubt that," he told her. when she started talking about selling her wedding ring. a wedding ring that he could still clearly see on her left ring finger. even though luca nor maggie even picked out the ring. fausto pretty much handed it to him outside of the limo at a gala in los angeles where he told luca it was the wedding ring. that night, fausto showed the two off, it was a grand old time... oh wait, no it wasn't as that was the night luca had to fish maggie out of a club. so maybe the ring had no sentimental value attached to it for him, but it was still her wedding ring and she was still wearing it. looking down at his gold band, it was really just a gold band, no fancy engraving, no detail in the gold. just a gold band. it was quite possibly the most priceless thing he owned, but it was the most important to him. he couldn't wear it in boston during the daytime, because as far as his new clients went, luca was just a single man doing a job. however, every night before he would go to sleep, he'd pull it out and wear it, even though it was just for the night. in the morning, he'd wake up and take it off. he bet maggie didn't know he did that. she'd probably be surprised. "whether you wanted to sell it or not, you're still wearing it," he replied plainly, looking at her hand. yup. still there.
this fight was not like the others. the others they had were petty things. it was luca didn't put the seat down in the bathroom, someone messed with the thermostat, someone did something to irritate the other. but this? this was a real fight with substance. it was a real problem they were having and the only outcomes of this were bad. he was yanking her along, gripping her wrist tightly. his teeth gritted together at the thought of someone else touching her, someone else pulling hair out of her eyes, someone else laying on his side of the bed. all he wanted to do was scream and punch something. he wanted to find out whoever the fuck this person was and rip him apart with his bare hands. he was pissed at maggie too. just because he was gone that gave her the right to jump into bed with the next willing guy that called her beautiful? was there just one? was there ten? luca's jealousy flared up even more. the more he roughly pulled her along the louder her shouts became. what made him even more angry (as if he could get any more angry) was that none of the yelling that came out of her mouth was denying his accusations of her cheating on him. so she wasn't even going to deny it. it was the most honest luca had seen from maggie in the past twenty four hours of his return. if she wasn't going to deny it, he needed name, numbers, and address. luca wanted to pay each and every one of these men a visit. and possibly slit their throats. or go old school and slice some fingers off. he hadn't decided yet.
and then she said it. ”i can’t take it anymore.” like she was the one that was having it terrible. he could even see the tears sliding down her face. it was usually then luca cooled off and got off her back. whenever the waterworks started pouring. but, right now? he didn't care. he laughed. "you can't take it anymore? you? in case you haven't noticed, it hasn't been a walk in the park for me either, maggie." he let go of her wrist, pretty much throwing it back to her. and he just walked away from her, though he was still in her office. luca pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. his eyes snapped open and he let out more frustration with slamming his open-palm against the wall. "god dammit!" he yelled out. he turned around to face maggie. "you keep avoiding my questions." she had yet to give him a straight answer. he marched up to her, grabbing her shoulder with his hands and shook her. "tell me maggie. do you want a divorce or not? i'm done playing this game if i have already lost. i'm done chasing if you already moved on." though there was so much hate in his voice, he could have spoken more true words. he wanted her to answer him, for once. he looked into her eyes, slightly stained from makeup. his face was tired, his eyebrows knitted together as his eyes started at her intently. even the path he ventured off on five years ago looked like there might be a dead end ahead.
[/size] _______________________ [/color][/center] STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "so far gone" - james blunt CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, angrier!luca
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Feb 1, 2011 13:22:54 GMT -6
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, M LOUNGE, AFTERNOON, JANUARY 2012 [/font][/center] -----sick. sick of thinking about it. sick of talking about it. sick of losing sleep over it. sick of it making her sick to her stomach. sick of him not being able to catch a clue. sick of not being able to recognize herself in the mirror. there were a lot of things maggie had checked off on a list of shit she was sick and tired of dealing with and all of this seemed to culminate with luca’s ominous return. damn earthquake bringing things back into perspective. no one seemed to clue in to the fact that they were lucky to even be alive, maggie included. she would rightly admit that she was having trouble embracing the world that had decided to keep her around when someone else was keeping her so rattled that she could hardly think. truth of the matter was, luca was lucky to not be coming back to a dead body. he was lucky that when he’d walked into her apartment she’d tried killing him and not that he’d found her mangled body on the floor underneath a pile of rubble. if she’d been broken from head to toe would he have cared? would it have changed anything? if she’d so much as fractured a bone would the situation have been totally different? if she was laid up in a hospital would luca’s tough shit act still be playing out in front of her like it was now? maggie couldn’t possibly know. she wasn’t about to bring it up either. the truth of the matter was that she wondered just how different things would have been had she been hurt or, god forbid, been on the brink of death. she had to wonder if luca, or anyone else for that matter, would have cared. she wanted to think that maybe, just maybe, the giovannis would have come looking for her at some point. they couldn’t get a hold of her as luca had said last night but she hadn’t seen anyone she’d grown close to rushing to see if she was alright. maggie had to wonder just how much she really did matter in the lives of these people and if she was actually better off being alone. it was obvious that her own family didn’t give a damn. j.r. had had to be dragged back to valkyrie by his hair and that was knowing that there had been an earthquake. he hadn’t seemed to be rushing back to see if his eldest sister was okay. violet had her own problems with rocco and whatnot but damn if there wasn’t a single soul other than her wayward husband who had “come to her rescue.” it seemed the more time went by that the people around her really didn’t care, but then again it hurt think about pretty much anyone at this point.
-----maggie was so tired of talking about or thinking about the pain she’d gone through both over the years and the more intensified hurt and pain she’d been feeling over these last twenty four hours. true she’d been a wreck back after luca had left but she’d never shown this kind of vulnerability to luca before. she’d never just flat out stopped fighting everything and just given up in the middle of a room and despite this major break in her cold, calculating facade, luca was still too angry to notice. who the hell did he think he was married to in the first place? maggie had never been this way before. there had never been a fragile bone in her body and it certainly would have never surfaced back then. did he not see the difference in the woman he left versus the woman who stood in the middle of her office as he tugged at her arm? was he that blinded by his hurt feelings that he couldn’t see what was right in front of him? even when they’d been married, maggie had been the independent type to go out and do things for herself when she needed to get them done. she didn’t sit around waiting for someone to come by and do it for her. need something from the top shelf and you’re too short? you get your ass up on the counter and get what you need. your car feel like just not working today? you get down there with tools and you figure out what the hell is wrong. she wasn’t the type of person to call for help without making sure there was nothing she could do to fix it first. hell if she’d been that way she would have never been in this business in the first place. she would have never saved luca’s ass from getting shot at in the underground casino way back when. she would have told him to keep the russians back instead of doing it herself. maggie had never before been helpless and though the woman standing there amid tears was nowhere near helpless, it was the closest she’d ever been before in her life, other than the times she’d been rendered unconscious.
-----but of course luca and his bruised pride couldn’t see back the film of sheer, red anger to see that he had seriously done a number to her. why? because she’d made herself vulnerable to him, trusted him, and he’d broken all that trust to smithereens. she looked down at her ring as luca spoke about it. he just had to make it look like she was the crazy one for even keeping the ring didn’t he? he just had to turn it all around on her. she wasn’t the one who’d left. she wasn’t the one who hadn’t invited him to go to boston. all that blame laid at luca’s feet. if dragging out and picking apart the smallest details made him feel better, well then so be it. ”funny thing about leaving me high and dry here in valkyrie, but i don’t care what you have to say.” she managed to say as believably as possible, which at this point was next to none. ”why do you feel the need to push this luca. just go the hell away already.” she was getting really flustered and frustrated at this point. luca was her weakness and he was her weakest point. he could break her if he wanted to, or if he tried, and it seemed like the more time they spent together arguing the closer and closer maggie got to that point. there was a straw that would break the camel’s back and maggie was slowly feeling it all pile on. she didn’t know what to do either. how do you defend yourself against someone you love like that? how do you fend off these kind of attacks that don’t hit you physically, but emotionally to the point where you’re too tired to fight back. that was the point maggie had reached by the time luca had gotten really angry and tried to drag her out the door for a divorce. all in all his actions were extremely immature, but maggie was too spent to even bring that to light.
-----all she wanted to do was sit down and go over the books. it was her fallback when things went wrong, to lose herself in the business, and right now all she wanted to do was just sit down, put pen to paper, and never look up again. she could waste away to nothing in that rolling chair and be completely fine with that. but luca had other plans. her words didn’t even seem to faze him. they only seemed to make him angrier. maggie didn’t understand how her retreat would make him angrier but apparently anything she said would set him off at this point. she looked away from him silently as he talked about how everything had been hard on him to. maggie had a hard time believing it but even her doubt couldn’t reignite the fire in her retaliation. she simply pushed her hair back and out of her face, wiped her cheeks with her hands, and did nothing else. she jumped a little even as luca hit the wall, screaming. god she hoped that made him feel better. maybe then he would just leave. but that wasn’t enough for him. instead he grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her as if that would get him an answer faster. that was it, the straw, the bead of water that sent liquid spilling over the side of the cup, etc. she turned to face him, twisting her body free as she spun around and punched him in the face using all the force she could manage. screw civility. he was one step away from smacking the daylights out of her. this was self preservation. she watched as luca fell to the floor, standing straight, looking down at him with fists clenched she finally spoke. ”never. never, did i think there was a day when i thought you would hurt me.” there was a slight quiver to her voice, anger, not nerves. ”you want a fucking answer? fine. i love you damn it. i’m an idiot for not trying to move on when you left me behind for four straight years but i stayed by myself for all this time because of you!” she was yelling by the time her sentence finished. ”i love you but i can’t trust you and honestly at this point i want nothing to do with you so just get out! there’s no point if i can’t trust you and i don’t, and you’re wasting your breath trying to beat it out of me.” she said, her last words stinging her worse than anything else.
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status • finished
words •1655.
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes •--.
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Feb 3, 2011 1:27:44 GMT -6
----HOW COME THEY COULD NEVER MAKE IT WORK? if their jobs didn't kill them, they were going to die because of heart problems and high blood pressure from screaming at each other all the damn time. it was moments like these he just maybe thought of what it was like to be somewhat conventional. where the two treated each other right. maybe sat down and had a real meal where they talked about their day. maybe cuddle on the couch and watch some ridiculous movie luca wouldn't like but would watch because she wanted to see it. or what if they went on a bike ride in the park followed by a picnic underneath some trees? go shopping together and luca could complain like a normal husband holding her purse and she pulled pieces of clothing up to her body to see if she liked it, and then of course ask luca's opinion. even if he said no, she'd buy it anyway. why couldn't they just get in the car and drive around the back roads of california and just forget about their life, their jobs, and all other problems that normal people worried about. why didn't they have any couple friends? a big group of maggie and luca and a couple more pairs of couples that were also married. and do group couple-y things like eating dinner at each other's houses, a fucking couples bowling team, and watch the big games on a flat screen tv with these friends as maggie and he wore matching jerseys in support of their favorite team. and those other milestones in marriages came next. like, buying a real house and having the joys of decorating it and moving in. then having family over to celebrate the holidays. the fourth of july there would be a big barbecue in the backyard. christmas would be the best as everyone was invited and they would have a lot of fun remembering certain stories of everyone's youth. cuddling in front of the fire with wine glasses in hand. and let's not forget the point in which they would start a family. and that's where luca stopped thinking. it always stopped there.
these different scenes crossed luca's mind in brief waves as he tried to see if they were happier there, in this alternative universe of what they should of been. but that kind of life was never on their radar. it never could be. as long as they did what they did, they could never have that kind of life. they'd always be fighting, but in some crazy, fucked up way? they'd always love each other. if that wasn't a twisted excuse for a love story, luca didn't know what was. it'd be about as dangerous letting her go as it would be keeping her in this. at this point, they were only hurting each other. luca had no idea he'd be coming back to this. as dangerous as it had been, he wish he had never left. he should have just stayed. he was as sure as dead if he had indeed stayed. but the more he thought about those few months after they got married, the more he believed they were on the way of being 'that' couple. something they really deserved after everything they had been through. maggie was his number one. in the beginning, he had found her as extra baggage. someone he would have to look after, risking his own hide. and now, he'd risk himself again and again for her. that was what they called a weakness. that was something you just couldn't have in the organized crime business. it was dangerous. luca knew that. he couldn't help it. he knew now, you can't help who you fall in love with. luca was a skeptic from pretty much the beginning. he never had that gene with the desire to find someone. he didn't believe there was that one person out there that you were suppose to be with for the rest of your life. he called bullshit on the term 'soulmates' and honestly didn't care if he ever really did get married. he was here for one reason and one reason only. his job. it was quite possibly the saddest thing people would have heard. all of this was before he fell for maggie.
the truth was, luca didn't immediately head to boston. he had multiple russian trails on him. and he had to lose them. fausto destination for luca was eventually going to be boston. getting there without anyone knowing was an obstacle in itself. for a good six months, luca was floating from town to town leaving little trace he was ever there. he got to boston soon enough, and it felt like he was in the witness protection program as he virtually was nobody. he went by lucas for the next few years. dropped giovanni and went by edwards. the good thing for luca was that he looked american. which helped his case in shedding the italian persona. something luca always tried to hard to have since his family moved to the united states. he started looking out so british, acted british, and spoke with a british accent. at first it had been unique. then after the first few jobs, luca mimicked his cousins until he dropped the accent. all for the job. did he want maggie with him in boston? yes. could it have worked? probably not. because despite being lonely, he was working a job set forth by fausto. it's not like he could of left, even if he wanted to. he missed out on four years of marriage, and he knew that. but it wasn't like it was his fault. he wasn't perfect, he could have been a better husband, but he was fighting for his life. if he ever wanted to see her again, they couldn't be together at that time. but he was kind of glad that they got married. if they had just been engaged, they would not have lasted. it would have been over years ago.
his blood had been boiling. he paced the office as she just continued to stand there. why was this so hard? why didn't she want to talk? why wasn't she answer his questions? why did it feel like they weren't getting anywhere? when he shook her and yelled at her, that must have been maggie's last straw as her arm flew back behind her and she let it all out on his cheek bone. he grabbed his cheek with his hand, making sure his jaw was still working, the bones seemed to be not broken. he felt his face up as maggie just let it out on him. she admitted that she did love him, but she didn't trust him. she said she never thought he would hurt her, and that he should leave. her voice got higher at ever sentence and he was glad that they were alone, because someone probably would have called the police by now. "i'm not leaving, maggie." he said, walking towards her again, pressing his luck as he entered the line of fire. "hit be all you want, but i'm not leaving. i love you." he was close enough now that they were almost touching. "so hit me again, maggie. it's not going to change my feelings about you. hit me as many times as you'd like, because at the end of the day, you got to realize i'm not going anywhere."
[/size] _______________________ [/color][/center] STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "so far gone" - james blunt CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, =)
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Feb 5, 2011 15:47:04 GMT -6
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, M LOUNGE, AFTERNOON, JANUARY 2012 [/font][/center] -----nothing, and i mean nothing, really seemed to be phasing luca at the time. he really just didn’t seem to get that maggie was going through all of these emotions at once and that though he wasn’t necessarily to blame for it all, he certainly hadn’t helping the situation along all those years ago. a lot of things happens over a span of time like that. babies are born, people break up or get married, they move away, etc. everything about the world they’d lived in had moved on, had progressed. everything that they’d once known about valkyrie had all but changed and neither of them was really keyed into that. luca didn’t know because he wasn’t around and maggie didn’t know because she didn’t care. she’d been locked away in her office like it was her own little world and nothing outside of that was her problem. she didn’t care that her younger siblings were all growing up faster than could be imagined, and boy were they. bella had gone off to college of all things. she’d enrolled in a school on the eastern coast with a student’s visa and had gotten far, far away from the business that she now knew all about. after dethroning her father, pretty much everyone knew who hadn’t known that her father had been a drug lord, a job that was hence forth being taken over by maggie. bella hadn’t taken it well. she’d been the type to never hurt a fly and when she’d learned her father had been responsible for more than his share of deaths and that maggie had known about it? well let’s just say the silent treatment was lasting a very, very long time. she’d still come to the wedding. she’d still stood there alongside her sister and had smiled and was happy for them, but that was it. bella had said she couldn’t support a life like that and so after the wedding she’d gone back east. maggie had talked to her once or twice before, but it was safe to say that the close sisterly relationship they’d had back when bella was in the dark was really gone. someday she hoped that her younger sister would accept things as they were and realize that maggie was only doing what she felt she was best suited for but until that day came, well she was going to have to settle for having a long-distance sister.
-----her youngest brother was in college, college! and yes she hadn’t spoken to him in what seemed to be ages either. dominic was one of the few children of juan corinthos who had been left in the dark as well, mainly because of his age. it could have been that a part of him knew all the craziness going on inside the household, but he wasn’t as blatantly exposed to the business as j.r. and maggie had been and in maggie’s honest opinion he was better off that way. the sad part about having such an age gap with your siblings was never being able to have that connection. it was harder still when your divorcee mother lived in a house outside of the main mansion on the property. that was likely done to help sophia keep her sanity when being forced to stick around tijuana with the rest of the family so that juan could keep an eye on his other children but honestly, because of that maggie had really missed out. had she lived in the mansion she would have come into contact with her siblings more than she ever had. not to say that it was all her parent’s fault for her not really knowing her younger siblings as well as she did, say, her sister or j.r. she could have easily taken the initiative and hung out at the house getting to know dominic and hannah but she hadn’t. instead she’d stuck around her own home and her father’s business in the hopes that she would get under his skin enough for him to let her just do something. by the time things had turned in her favor and she actually was working within the business, there really was no hope in maggie ever really, truly getting to know her siblings. her father wouldn’t have wanted it that way anyways seeing as how he had hoped to off her as soon as she’d outlived her worth. though that had never happened and maggie had instead pushed her father out of the business he stole all those years ago, she still didn’t have that brother-sister relationship. so in that one way her father had succeeded. she had no real ties to tijuana anymore. no real reason to ever go back and stay for an extended amount of time.
-----it was sad to think that should things go sour with luca nad she lose the giovanni’s just what really lay ahead of her. true her new family showed her allegiance and loved her but that was because she was a giovanni now. did she really expect them to keep on loving her if things between she and luca were over? no way. in the end she would be left with nothing, and that terrified her. true she’d always felt alone as a child but she’d never actually been alone. true she’d felt the need to take care of herself because she couldn’t count on her father to man up and act like a parent, but she hadn’t really ever been reliant on herself to get through a tough spot and be independent. she’d never had to do it. she’d gone from being under her father’s roof to being under luca’s roof. there had been no lag time between the two when maggie could have really figured out whether or not she could support herself. she liked to think she was strong enough but honestly it was all an unknown. there was no reference for her to think back on when she’d literally been without no fallback. she’d never wanted to have to fall back to her father during those long years when she’d worked for him but the truth of the matter was that he had still been there for her because if she’d been caught or killed juan would have been out the brains behind his business. after juan there had been luca and then when he’d been forced to disappear there had been a slew of giovanni family members. she’d never really been alone before and it wasn’t necessarily something she was looking to gain. maggie didn’t want to be alone. if she could have luca and trust that he would never hurt her again then there wouldn’t have been a problem in the first place. but she didn’t trust him. hell she didn’t trust him enough to turn her back on him, especially now after he’d only come a stone’s throw away from actually laying into her and hitting her. hell no. there was no trust in this relationship and honestly she didn’t see it happening as long as luca couldn’t realize that she felt this way because he seemed to not take her feelings into account. this was no tantrum. this wasn’t something she’d easily get out of her system after she had some chocolate or came off her time of the month. this was a whole other situation in itself and luca still didn’t seem to understand that this wasn’t going to just go away. things weren’t just going to magically turn into the way they’d been before despite how much they both wanted it to be.
-----even now as she’d been forced to hit him in an effort to get him out of this angry funk did luca seem to realize that she hadn’t hit him because she was angry but because she’d feared he was going to actually lay into her. no it just came across as one more damn tantrum to him. she could even hear it in his voice. god there was no limit to his stubbornness! everything was about her. every mistake and every time she’d had to take things one step further was because of her anger, never because of his. un-fucking-believable. honestly she just stood there staring at him for a moment, dumbfounded by his sheer inability to see what was right there in front of him. ”god don’t you get it?!” she said as she shook her head, her tone denoting her disbelief. ”i don’t want to fucking hit you luca. i want you to understand that i cannot do this anymore! i can’t sit here and feel the need to have to defend myself against you. i shouldn’t have to tell you to get out time and time again when i need space to come to terms with all of this.” she raked her fingers through her hair with frustration, trying not to rip her hair out by the roots like she wanted to. ”don’t’ you get that i hate, hate, this situation and everything about it and i hate you for putting me here. why can’t you get that?” though it seemed to have had no effect on him the first time, another tear trailed down her cheek. this time though, she wiped it away. it was unbelievable the amount of vulnerability she’d shown in the past twenty-four hours and she wasn’t about to give him any more satisfaction then he’d likely already gotten. he had bed her after all.
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status • finished
words •1617.
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes • sorry it took so long.
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Feb 18, 2011 1:55:01 GMT -6
----I GUESS LUCA WAS JUST TOO STUBBORN to realize what was going on in front of him. to him, she was the one that was overreacting. so, he had been gone. so fucking what? what else could he really say? he was back, he was here, he was ready to go back to the way things used to be with them. the fun times before he had to leave. how many times did he have to tell her that? he probably loved her more now than he ever did. seeing her again was like seeing the sun for the first time. all he wanted to do was bring her in closer and she just continued to push him away. last night, his welcome home was not was he had expected. she was mad, she was screaming, she threw things, and she was just downright pissed at him. it was as if he had been whoring around town with different ladies and she discovered it. completely untrue, that that was the level of madness she was at last night. and then she just kicked him out. out of his own house. it was like he was just too embarrassed to crash at any other of his family's home. they'd start asking questions and how could he answer questions when he didn't even know the full story? he was more out of the dark than his family was. whatever maggie was thinking but not saying was starting to really bother luca.
he came here trying to make peace. he bought her flowers, he came with good intentions. he will admit, things got quickly out of hand. he did lose her temper. but she lost her temper, too. and within the ten minutes he had been here with her they seemed to go from zero to sixty in two seconds. and luca felt like it was always going to be like this as long as they were together. but it felt like they had been through too much to just through it all away on something as small as this. and really? what was she even mad for? because, luca had no clue. was it because he came back, or because he didn't stay away? the way luca saw it, she was overreacting. he was back. there really was no other way of putting it. he wasn't going anywhere, he wasn't just going to leave. if there was nothing holding her back, then why was she so hesitant to be with him? they were married, and maggie finally admitted she still loved him. she said she didn't trust him anymore. well, luca could say the same thing about her too. four years had been a long time. a lot of things could happen. he knew that, she knew that. luca knew he never did anything wrong in boston. he was there to work and he was married. women never moved him like maggie did. none of them were maggie. but he didn't know what she was up to. he didn't know where she had been. lore could only report so much to him. if maggie was so goddamn lonely, she never made any moves to fix it. she never called him, or came to him. their relationship was a two way street. they had been more apart than they had been together. they were good for a while there. they were going to be that couple with no secrets, and now, they were back to square one in paul's apartment fighting for money.
luca furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms across his chest. "what do you mean you can't do this anymore?" he shook his head at her. "we haven't even been doing anything!" she really needed to process that he wasn't going to leave. he had left and was gone for four years. luca wasn't going to stay away when he was back specifically for her. "space? you want space? for what reason, maggie? i think we've already had enough of it." luca tried controlling his anger. every time he felt it going to a ten, he controlled his voice so that it was leveled out at a five. but then, luca at a five was like a normal person at a ten, so tried to lower it, sound more soothing. he always seemed to forget while they were fighting that it took some reasoning for her to get back on her good side. they couldn't fight like this forever. sure, luca threatened divorce no more than five mnutes ago but he knew they would fight and bitch at each other for that ordeal too. she was going to have to accept that he was here for good now and he wasn't going to just disappear and wait for her to be ready to talk to him. no. he was here now. he wasn't going to laze around and work for his uncle while dodging maggie questions from his family. this was all new for the giovannis. who, were family first, business second. they really didn't know how to handle luca and maggie. they were the crazy unpredictable ones. mainly because maggie also held a position in the business. most of the women didn't. so, they were all basically working together and now luca had tension with maggie. it just couldn't be the same; wouldn't run smoothly. and fausto would be the first one on this once he catches wind of his favorite young couple having trouble in paradise. luca didn't like this attention. he wanted what him and maggie were going through to be done in private. however, big italian family? yeah, there was no secrets.
did luca wish things were different? in a way, yeah. he wish the russians never put a hit on him. he wished he didn't have to run away to boston. he wished maggie had been with him. he wished they had more time together before he took off. he wished a lot of things, he regretted a lot of things. "look maggie." he said to her, his voice and tone back to normal like he was holding a conversation with a normal person. "i regret a lot of things. i do. i don't regret getting married. i don't regret you." luca reached out and ran his fingers down the length of her bare arm. "i don't regret us, maggie. i don't." they could work this. there hadn't been one fight they hadn't be able to work out. they had never been this big before. he felt like maybe they were both cooling down. still furious but bottling it back up for another day. "we can work this out, mags. talk it through." he felt her cheek. his thumb tracing over the dried tear trail. "i love you. i'm not giving you up, mags. not like this."
[/size] _______________________ [/color][/center] STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "so far gone" - james blunt CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, turning on the sweetness =)
and it's short.
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Mar 2, 2011 22:37:47 GMT -6
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, M LOUNGE, AFTERNOON, JANUARY 2012 [/font][/center] -----nothing, and i mean nothing, really seemed to be phasing luca at the time. he really just didn’t seem to get that maggie was going through all of these emotions at once and that though he wasn’t necessarily to blame for it all, he certainly hadn’t helping the situation along all those years ago. a lot of things happens over a span of time like that. babies are born, people break up or get married, they move away, etc. everything about the world they’d lived in had moved on, had progressed. everything that they’d once known about valkyrie had all but changed and neither of them was really keyed into that. luca didn’t know because he wasn’t around and maggie didn’t know because she didn’t care. she’d been locked away in her office like it was her own little world and nothing outside of that was her problem. she didn’t care that her younger siblings were all growing up faster than could be imagined, and boy were they. bella had gone off to college of all things. she’d enrolled in a school on the eastern coast with a student’s visa and had gotten far, far away from the business that she now knew all about. after dethroning her father, pretty much everyone knew who hadn’t known that her father had been a drug lord, a job that was hence forth being taken over by maggie. bella hadn’t taken it well. she’d been the type to never hurt a fly and when she’d learned her father had been responsible for more than his share of deaths and that maggie had known about it? well let’s just say the silent treatment was lasting a very, very long time. she’d still come to the wedding. she’d still stood there alongside her sister and had smiled and was happy for them, but that was it. bella had said she couldn’t support a life like that and so after the wedding she’d gone back east. maggie had talked to her once or twice before, but it was safe to say that the close sisterly relationship they’d had back when bella was in the dark was really gone. someday she hoped that her younger sister would accept things as they were and realize that maggie was only doing what she felt she was best suited for but until that day came, well she was going to have to settle for having a long-distance sister.
-----her youngest brother was in college, college! and yes she hadn’t spoken to him in what seemed to be ages either. dominic was one of the few children of juan corinthos who had been left in the dark as well, mainly because of his age. it could have been that a part of him knew all the craziness going on inside the household, but he wasn’t as blatantly exposed to the business as j.r. and maggie had been and in maggie’s honest opinion he was better off that way. the sad part about having such an age gap with your siblings was never being able to have that connection. it was harder still when your divorcee mother lived in a house outside of the main mansion on the property. that was likely done to help sophia keep her sanity when being forced to stick around tijuana with the rest of the family so that juan could keep an eye on his other children but honestly, because of that maggie had really missed out. had she lived in the mansion she would have come into contact with her siblings more than she ever had. not to say that it was all her parent’s fault for her not really knowing her younger siblings as well as she did, say, her sister or j.r. she could have easily taken the initiative and hung out at the house getting to know dominic and hannah but she hadn’t. instead she’d stuck around her own home and her father’s business in the hopes that she would get under his skin enough for him to let her just do something. by the time things had turned in her favor and she actually was working within the business, there really was no hope in maggie ever really, truly getting to know her siblings. her father wouldn’t have wanted it that way anyways seeing as how he had hoped to off her as soon as she’d outlived her worth. though that had never happened and maggie had instead pushed her father out of the business he stole all those years ago, she still didn’t have that brother-sister relationship. so in that one way her father had succeeded. she had no real ties to tijuana anymore. no real reason to ever go back and stay for an extended amount of time.
-----maggie had battled for about as long as she could remember. there seemed to not be a time in which she hadn’t been fighting for everything she wanted be it love, respect, or even life. after something like that one would believe that maggie had turned bitter and showed utter hatred for the world and maybe to an extent that was the case. she hadn’t in fact forgiven her father for all the things he’d done, and she wasn’t about to do so any time soon, but did that really surprise anyone? it would take a self-sacrificing saint to forgive a person who had spent the entirety of your life wanting you dead. maggie was in no ways a saint, she was in no ways a martyr, but most of all she was no idiot. there seemed to be so many better ways to be stupid then to let yourself we walked all over completely. buying an expensive car and wrecking it just out of the lot, getting shitfaced drunk alone in a club, tattooing the name of a boyfriend in big, bold letters across your chest, you know something of that sort. surrendering yourself to the blood lust of your father who wanted you dead for no reason other than you existed was yet another one of those ridiculously outrageous ways to be stupid, something maggie was not.
-----in all honesty had juan been a halfway decent instead of the jackass maggie knew him to be, it still wasn’t a certainty that maggie and her father would have gotten along. they again the whole idea of her father not being a self-serving asshole was as far off base that just to dream up the idea would be like creating some kind of elaborate imaginary world. it wasn’t possible, it would never be possible, and to speak of it as otherwise was generally so outrageous that no one would ever take the statement seriously. your father, a nice guy. the words just didn’t belong in a sentence without the word not thrown in there somewhere. to maggie that kind of a fantasy where her father would ever be anything other than the lying, lowdown scheming, fallen leader her was, was like saying the earth was the center of the universe. it seemed like a nice concept and from the outside it sounded damn near perfect…if it only existed. but maggie had long stopped believing in the fantasy that her father could act and be like a real father. luca on the other hand? that was not something she’d given up on quite yet. she would admit that had she had some kind of sense about her that she wouldn’t give in to a man who’d left her behind but there was the whole love issue. it wasn’t a lie that love made you do crazy things and that much was true. had anyone else tried to do to her what luca had managed to do they’ve be dead before it got this far. luca? oh of course he could get away with it all. he could leave her behind and make her surrender into a puddle of insecure unawareness then just pop back into her life like nothing had happened. sure. why the hell not. um…anyone else see what was wrong with that statement? because even though maggie could there was a massive piece of her that just couldn’t tell him to get lost. ”i need to process the fact that you’re back luca. you can’t just jump back into my life like this big gap of time never happened. you were gone for nearly five years. that’s something that i need to get over and with you here pushing me…i-i can’t do it.” she turned away from him just wishing that doing so would just make him disappear but it was obvious that wasn’t going to be happening soon. slowly but surely she could hear him calming down…but it did nothing for her. she was still wired and jittery and afraid to say something else that would set off another round of arguments, this all while still wanting to ask him yet again to leave. still somehow she turned to face him as his hand brushed over her arm and she still sank into his touch as his hand brushed her cheek. it was still painfully obvious that she was putty in his hands no matter what was said or done and though she didn’t like that at all, obviously there wasn’t much that could stop her. ”don’t” she whispered knowing full well that should he continue she’d really have no choice but to give in to him. ”i…i don’t doubt you do love me…” she finally said after a moment’s pause.
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status • finished
words •1623.
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes •so sorry for the lateness. you know why.
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Mar 5, 2011 3:26:29 GMT -6
----LUCA JUST WANTED MAGGIE. he wanted things to go back to the way they were. before he left. the months they were together and married before it all happened and he had to go. he undeniably and truly loved her. he didn't want anything bad to happen to her. he'd wring the neck of anyone who tried to hurt her. he'd kill for her. he'd do anything for her. it was like he was trying to get that across to her, but he was talking to a brick wall. he just wanted to know he had a chance because he was rapidly losing. he... he just loved her. he loved her more than his job. trust me when i say he would not have married her unless he was sure about it. luca never believed in soul mates, he never believed there were people out there that were destined to be yours. but... maggie was the only person for him. he could never find someone like her ever. if they really did give up on what they had now, he could not bare seeing her with someone else. luca couldn't see himself with someone else after he'd been with maggie. anyone else would just seem petty. not worth his time. maggie thrilled him. at one point, he hated her spontaneous nature, her 'loose-cannoness.' but now. he couldn't imagine her without it. there was a lot of things luca didn't want to let go of.
despite that their marriage was in the shitter right now, he knew they had come a long way. if you would have sat luca down after maggie nearly had broken his nose and told him the girl that just about broke his nose was going to be his future wife, luca would have laughed at you and wouldn't of believed it. maggie was unlike any woman he had been with. the number of women luca had been with before maggie could all be counted on one hand. london was the most recent, the one he thought he could have been in love with. but it wasn't true. you'd think since maggie and luca were initially forced to get married that their love sprung the fact they were forced to get married therefore they learned to love each other. but luca knew this wasn't learned. this was real. the most rawest kind of love there way. you can't fake this kind of love.
a couple weeks before he got married, luca was talking with violet. he asked if their was a good idea. for him, at least. because he never was able to keep a girl in a relationship very long, why would marriage be no different, right? violet looked at him seriously. her hazel eyes looking as serious as they could come. she told him that they were both completely crazy. that they were both incredibly stubborn individuals that both had to get the last word in. she continued on saying that they were both constantly fighting and that wouldn't change because they were to be married now. luca believed he was always right and maggie had no problem messing with his mind. violet said to everyone else this kind of relationship was unhealthy and would be doomed, however, to her, she saw that maggie and luca would be madly loyal to each other no matter how crazy things got and with both of their aggressive personalities, she didn't think any other person would be able to handle them. it was like maggie and luca were made for each other. in violet's exact words, "luca, i can't see you married to anyone else but her."
maggie told him that he couldn't just pop in out of anywhere. this was something she needed some space. she didn't want him to push her. she turned away and luca spoke saying, "i won't push. but i still want to be here." he spoke so calmly, he could have sang a baby to sleep. however, what violet never mentioned to him was that these two could manipulate each others emotions. he knew he was in semi-good graces when maggie didn't slap his hand away from her face. in fact she slightly leaned into his palm. he touched her cheek gently, pulling her bangs out of her eyes with his other hand. she whispered 'don't' to him and luca cocked his head to the side, and continued what he was doing. he was almost enjoying the fact that he still was able to keep her on his touch alone. he knew he could be in the exact same position if the roles were reversed. luca could be giving into her like the way she was doing now. ”i…i don’t doubt you do love me…” she said finally. he was looking down at her, his fingers rubbing the back of her neck. it was so crazy that they could be screaming bloody murder at each other one minute to being just about as quiet as possible to each other the next. only them, huh? "i've made some mistakes, i know," he told her, voice even. his arms found themselves being wrapped around her waist, pushing them closer. "i just want to stop fighting." at least for the day. they did enough in the past twenty four hours. he didn't know about her, but his voice needed a break. he kissed her forehead before looking down at her in the eyes. "i only want to be with you."
[/size] _______________________ [/color][/center] STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "so far gone" - james blunt CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, <3
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Mar 14, 2011 0:29:54 GMT -6
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, M LOUNGE, AFTERNOON, JANUARY 2012 [/font][/center] -----a girl had to wonder where all of this crap could possibly lead. was there a future in their…future? would they be able to get past all of this and get back to the life they were building back before it all hit the fan? in all honesty maggie wasn’t sure if she could just go about it like things had never changed. she wasn’t sure that she could act like he’d never disappeared, to turn back the clock and all that. fortunately for luca, maggie’s mind was always subject to change. what she felt today she might not feel in a week or in a month’s time and she wasn’t so stubborn as to force herself to feel something she didn’t want to feel simply to win in a battle of wits. as far as the two of them were concerned there would never be a winner as long and neither one of them conceded and they kept butting heads. this she knew but did it stop her from being as stubborn as a mule when she faced down her own husband who’d had to break into her business simply to talk to her? god her life sounded like something out of a bad soap opera. she was sure that any writer who got their hands on her story could turn it into some huge drama that would most likely play up the worst part of her relationship with luca, namely, the dreaded four year absence. currently it wasn’t something she could just forgive and forget. she wanted to namely because it had the potential to make her life so much easier, but in the grand scheme of things she really wouldn’t feel right with herself forgiving him aloud if in her heart he was still that bastard who’d left her. luca needed to become for her a second time around someone she could depend on and someone she genuinely wanted in her life and it wasn’t something that had yet been accomplished nor would it be something a measly two day’s effort could buy him. maggie didn’t trust him and without trust she couldn’t completely love him. not yet at least. it wasn’t fair to him to forgive him now when she didn’t mean it but mostly, and most importantly, it wasn’t fair to herself to lie like that. not to luca and not to herself.
-----lying hadn’t ever gotten her anywhere and it was something she specifically avoided for a reason. there were reasons behind every one of maggie’s actions for sure but her honestly and bluntness was something of itself. maggie had always been a straight shooter. it had always been a key element of her make up since birth you could say that was because it had only taken one lie and one misstep for maggie to swear off lies for good. she didn’t even spout them to save her own ass. that was the one thing that could always be appreciated of maggie, she was a straight shooter. she had to qualms looking you in the eye and telling you that she couldn’t stand you and that was because she’d been influenced early on about the effect of little white lies. at around the age of seven, when her father had either not reached his breaking point where maggie was concerned or had yet to want her dead, she had lied to cover her own ass about having skipped school one day from elementary school and the two guards who had walked her every day back and forth, two men who were real good guys in her book, had been taken into her father’s office for a meeting and never came back. maggie knew the moment two new guys began escorting her back and forth that she’d done something she shouldn’t have. she went to her father that night to tell him of her mistruth and he had back handed her across the face and screamed at her that their blood was on her hands. it had terrified her to the point that she’d never lied again, even if it meant the possibility of another back hand from juan. maggie had never told another lie up until the moment she’d met luca and that all needed to change. she needed to find that piece of herself again and she needed to find it fast.
-----it was without a doubt unbearably hard to do here with luca in the room. how could maggie get those pieces of herself back when it was luca who turned her world upside down? it was luca who had turned on some kind of crazy switch in her head that had her acting irrationally when they’d been partnered up. any time luca was involved maggie’s world went from technicolor to black and white. up became down, left became right, and sane decisions immediately became insane. it was just the effect he had on her. maggie had no idea if she had any effect on luca’s sanity or if she effected him as much as he effected her. with the way the two were around each other it was likely to never even become a topic of conversation. both were such strong people. both were such stubborn people. it was a wonder the two of them ever got past their issues enough to say i do, but those had been different days. comparing their wedding day to now was a prime example of just how much maggie could change her mind. that day nothing could have swayed her. nothing could have angered her to the point that she didn’t want to be with luca. she knew then most assuredly that he was the one she would rather see herself spending the rest of her life with. she knew it the moment he came to see her after having talked to fausto and confessed to her what his uncle had confessed to him, the moment he’d finally said the words she’d wanted to hear, that he’d wanted to marry her. wanted. just knowing what luca felt had made her heart soar in a way she to this day could not even describe. she loved him so completely and with such ferocity that she couldn’t even imagine that ever lessening. fast forward a few years and here she was a bruised, battered shell of a woman that she used to be and without a speck of trust for the man she’d married. she didn’t trust the words coming out of his mouth. she didn’t trust his intentions. everything about him screamed “don’t trust me! i’ll only hurt you again!” and just knowing that that was how she felt just when looking at her husband broke her heart all over again. a husband was someone you could rely on no matter what. a husband was the first person you think to call when something amazing happens or something terrible happens. they’re the first person you want to share news with and they’re the first person you want to hold after the fact. they’re the only person you could ever imagine sleeping beside you at night and the only person whose reflection you’d want to see in the features of future children. the thought that she might never experience those other milestones, children, sleeping together, growing old, with luca just upset her beyond a doubt. upset her to the point where she wanted to latch onto him and never let go.
-----that was desperately what maggie wanted to do. she wanted to hold onto luca and make all of this crap go away. she wanted to do this all while other portions of her head told her to back off, to free herself while she had the excuse to. still even as she begged him not to tempt her he continued to do so anyways and just like before, she was putty. she was forever his and that much was obvious. no matter how much she tried to deny it. she could be blunt with the rest of the world but the one thing she couldn’t seem to do was be honest with herself. no matter how any times she told herself it needed to be over, the bare facts were that she couldn’t let him go. she needed him. she loved him. granted she didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him but there wasn’t a part of her loud enough to tell her to end the marriage. because if she were being honest with herself she didn’t want it to be over. she never wanted it to be over. his touch didn’t stop at her words either. it seemed more likely the fact that she’d even asked him to stop had coaxed him on. soon enough he was rubbing the back of her neck, the sensitive areas that just seemed to relax her the most, and was pulling her against him, trying to comfort her. she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to find some kind of pent up anger or something that she could build her strength back on but there was nothing. it was like grabbing at air. there was no hint of anger to be found at the moment though she knew it was there buried way down deep. she finally looked up at him as he kissed her forehead, trying to find something until there was absolutely no resource in her mind she could cling to. there was nothing in this very moment that screamed at her to turn away from him and never look back and before she knew it she found herself rising to her tip toes and kissing him with a passion that had been missing from her life for nearly four years. maggie, maggie, was the first person to make the move unlike before when luca had snuck into the loft and had had to initiate everything. she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in before her body screamed at her that it wasn’t enough. fumbling hands loosened from around his neck, grappling at his shirt and ripping it off his body before she pulled him in again. the kissed became more furious, more angry, as if the anger she’d been gripping for had finally surfaced but in more of a hungry manner than anything else. then in a moment she stopped. all the momentum gone as she momentarily pushed him away, his voice ringing in her head. ”show me.” she said breathless, as if her life depended on his next few words. ”you say you only want to be with me…show me.” nervousness and a whole new emotion, insecurity, was written all over her face as she backed up against her desk, shaking hands placed on either side of her body to prop her up because something told her that should she let go she’d collapse into a helpless heap of human flesh.
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status • finished
words •1854.
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes • omg feels so good to get out a post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Mar 14, 2011 11:33:54 GMT -6
----IN LUCA'S PROFESSION, THERE WAS A CAP. typically, you don't live an average life as if you were a teacher or a lawyer. there was just no way to tell when luca's job was ultimately going kill him. for all both of them knew, he could die tomorrow. the same deal went with maggie, too. how were they to know that some crazy client or rival mob member wouldn't bust in here and kill them both? it was thoughts that came with the job but you couldn't let it control your life. violet asked luca why he put himself on the line like this when he knew something could happen. to him, it was no different than a solider at war or a cop out in the field. of course, what people like luca and maggie did was highly illegal, they had the most to lose if anything ever happened. luca wasn't even an american citizen. he was born in italy, raised in england, came to the united states when he was a teenager. he could get deported at anytime if he attracted enough attention. no one can really understand why mobsters become, well, mobsters. it's a deep attraction to the thrill and and danger in the job. the control, the success, and the intimidation. with that said, the downside is, he knew, normally, couples could live long and healthy lives together. in his case, it was a gamble if he'd ever reach the age of sixty with maggie. even if they were heavily fighting right now, at the end of the day, luca knew he only wanted to live his life with her. however much time that would be.
the fighting was always the same. it was like they didn't miss a beat. however, he could see the change in the way she looked at him. she didn't look... happy anymore. like, truly happy. even last night, she looked at him squarely in the eye when she was wielding a gun at him, but when he was kissing her she barely made eye contact with him. almost like she was ashamed it was him. even after the fact, she couldn't look at him. he had to force her to look at him. he didn't know what that meant. did it mean she really was with someone else during his absence? did the mere sight of him really upset her that much? he remembered when it was never like that. when they had a hard time not looking at each other. she was the last person he saw when he went to sleep and the first person there next to him when he woke up the next morning. who knew luca would actually appreciate something like that. guess you don't know how to appreciate it until you really do have it.
even now, it was like he had her, but he didn't. she was trapped inside his arms. close enough to kiss and close enough to collapse into, but she felt so hesitant. like, she couldn't believe she was giving in to him again. why couldn't they just be together? they obviously still cared greatly about each other, they loved each other, they were meant to be together, dammit! luca just didn't understand if all these things were fact, why weren't the pieces fitting together? why couldn't they just go back to when they were first married. to when they were newlyweds. they could pretend for all he cared. because right now, it was like they were in their forties and their marriage was hanging on by a string. a string about to break. back to when they laughed, cooked each other meals, and of course, working together. luca would admit, even if they were the worse people to pair together, they worked extremely well together. fausto saw it, or else he would have put the kabosh on it the moment they tied the knot.
as luca rubbed her neck, he knew he really missed her. being apart for that long really did a number on him and he probably didn't full grasp what what had meant to him over the years. they never divorced of the time apart, no mention of just separating. of course, that would have required some talking on both of their parts and since there rarely was, he just assumed everything would be ok when he got back. well, that was what he was hoping. he knew deep down that she would probably have a few issues. he knew she was pissed. he just hadn't understood how pissed. he found out last night as well as today. she was pissed. but he managed to coax her down. she allowed him to hold her, she allowed him to touch her neck, and she allowed him to kiss her forehead. big steps for the two considering what had happened ten minutes before. and then, it happened. maybe luca was expecting it, maybe he wasn't. but in a second, she reached up and kissed him. just like that. it made luca wonder what else he could really do if he pushed her enough. it was a mental thought he tucked away for later. she broke away from him for a moment. he thought it was her deciding that it wasn't a good idea. but, he was wrong again as one second he was fully clothed and the next she pulled his shirt right off his body. were they really going to do this again? would she get pissed and ask him to leave when it was over? luca thought maybe he should approach this differently. maybe be a little bit more careful to not piss her off, though he never really knew the true nature of why she was pissed last night.
maggie jumped luca again and wrapped her arms around him. it was all natural instinct to him as he kissed her back as ferociously as she was to him. but when she pushed him away a second time, he was confused. even more confused when she told him to 'show me.' ”you say you only want to be with me…show me.” she backed up until she leaned against her desk. it was something she definitely didn't say last night. or even suggested that he should do what he wanted to her. adrenaline sparked in his blood as he didn't say anything and closed the distance between them with only a few steps. he scooped her up off the desk, pulling her own shirt off within a few seconds. he kissed her and he knew it was different than last night. last night was... probably a combination of several things, good and bad. right now, it felt different. the way she initiated it all, basically inviting him to do the same thing like the night before. he continually tried pressing her closer as her legs wrapped around his waist. he held her up, her hair falling into his face as she leaned over him. now it was his turn to pull away. he looked up at her, a hand holding her head back a little. "i will never leave you, again," he said, honestly. "you're the only one for me. the only one i can be with forever." he pulled her face back down to his and caught her lips against his before putting her back on the edge of her desk. he kissed her neck, as his hands fumbled across her stomach, unbuttoning the button of her jeans and yanking them off. tossing the bundle of denim behind his shoulder he looked back at her with his lopsided smile before leaning back in pulling his wife's body back against his.
[/size] _______________________ [/color][/center] STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "so far gone" - james blunt CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, so much muse! i had to reply right away!
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Mar 21, 2011 22:06:16 GMT -6
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, M LOUNGE, AFTERNOON, JANUARY 2012 [/font][/center] -----life had never been easy for maggie but it sure as hell seemed that ever since luca had entered the picture her life had been immeasurably better and worse at the same time. better in such a way that she was, or at least had been, happy in a way she couldn’t describe. something she hadn’t felt ever before from what she could recall. there were just those situations in life…things you never thought you’d see, feel, experience, etc and for maggie that all seemed to happen whenever luca was around. not to say that she didn’t experience some good times with family members, her brother and sister more specifically. bella had always been the light to maggie’s life. she’d always been that touch of innocence that the corinthos household had needed, a bit of innocence that would have otherwise been completely void within the household had bella not exuded it like a light bulb exuded light. she was a shimmering beacon of hope for any family member who would look around and wonder what it was all about. that was common within this business. you didn’t succeed if you didn’t question the world around you. was your ally really and ally or was he just the devil in disguise looking for the opportune moment to turn you into a figment of the past. was a truce really in the works? would the slightest slip of the tongue serve as just another trigger for something to happen? in this business you guarded every last piece of you down to the hair. everything you did came with a consequence be it immediate or something that causes you hell five years down the road. during times like those when you hope was on its last legs, a person needed a reminder that the world wasn’t all too bad. the world wasn’t made up of all liars and schemers and though you still couldn’t trust that particular person, there was some good out there. it was always nice to know the world hadn’t completely gone to shit right? well in maggie’s case that was the truth and she was pretty damn sure that out there in the big, wide world there was a mobster in need of a hug or some other gesture that told them at least one thing about this world was right. bella was the greatest source for that in maggie’s life. she’d always been that ball of energy even as she grew out of her teens. when she’d been a kid and had been living under her father’s roof one of the highlights to maggie’s day was coming home to see her sister playing on the swings and to see her light up with maggie got home. she would always dive off or away from whatever she was doing to update her sister on the events of the day and it was just the kind of burst of fresh air maggie had needed. it wasn’t to say that that didn’t happen as often now was what had effected her, because now that bella knew about the business she’d pulled away in search of a normal life, but not having that stable reminder that life was worthwhile…it made it harder to go about life. the knowledge that someone out there, no matter how much you usually pitied them, was having a normal life and was happy with it was that much harder to find when the reminders of all that was good were so far away.
-----l uca had a similar effect on maggie. though there was many a time when luca would drive her to the point of mass murder he could also do so much more for her. as much as he could rattle her and drive her crazy, luca was one of the few people who could also calm her down. take this instance here in her office as an example. it wasn't more that a few moments ago that they'd been livid with one another. they had been screaming and throwing around the "d" word and yet within just moments of the red faces and the heightened blood pressure, here they were with calm, whispers, and soft caresses. it was the kind of back and forth that would make anyone else's head spin but for luca and maggie it was a sign of normalcy. a sign that some of what they had before still remained, a glimmer of a chance for their future. it was possible that they could be a couple again, all with the resolution of one fight because it was a sign that there was a possible way past all this madness. though they would never be normal even luca and maggie knew that this fighting since he'd returned had been unusual for them both. it wasn't a common occurrence. for luca to grab her and manhandle her even in the worst of fights. and yet they'd gotten past that just about as quickly as the fight had started. all of a sudden things were quiet and maggie was at her most vulnerable, the way she usually wound up feeling any time there was a moment of silence. you would think she'd be at her most vulnerable when she was screaming at him, tears running hot down her face but anger was too common of an occurrence for it to effect her that way. there was so much of a familiarity in anger because it had been the environment she'd been raised in. anger made her stronger in the long run instead of weaker. it was the quiet moments, the serious ones, that maggie wasn't equipped to handle.
-----l ike now when they were on the brink of being close, the moment where she'd practically begged luca to tell her all that she needed to hear. it was now that she needed to hear that she was more than just some piece of ass. she was more than just a pretty face. it was moments like these that maggie needed to hear, and wanted desperately to hear, just how much luca really did love her. it was something she craved more than anything else. she needed to feel that closeness and that security that had been lacking so much. it was something that she’d told herself time and time again she could go without but the truth was that beyond a doubt she needed him. she needed to feel loved now that she had experienced it and she didn’t want to push the one person away who felt all of those things for her. she wanted desperately to be stronger than that, to be able to go off on her own and never need someone again but it sounded so depressing and lonely. it wasn’t something she wanted to face if she had better options in front of her and though things with luca would never be easy, he was still an option that was better than living out a life of loneliness or escaping this marriage to be with someone who she never really felt attached to. it just sounded stupid to give all this up just to be rid of the bad moments. sure her mind could change in an instant, sure she could be feeling something completely opposite should luca open up his mouth and say something that would infuriate her. it was what they did to one another and maggie was in such a fragile state of mind that anything luca said to the contrary of what he (to maggie) should be feeling would send her spiraling off the deep end. he’d already seen that the night before when she’d pointed a gun at him and had thrown things at him in an effort to scare him away. she didn’t want that now. she didn’t want to be angry. she wanted to feel for the first time in four years that she wasn’t just some booby prize in a carnival game. she wanted to feel important and yeah to the giovanni business she was important. she raked in ton of money. yes she was considered because now she was family but without luca that didn’t have too much ground to stand on. but with luca, with luca she could feel wanted, needed. she could feel important and desired and that was one of the main feelings she craved to feel again. she didn’t want to just be some woman you walked back in on after having left them behind for nearly half a decade. she didn’t want to be seen as just some temperamental woman in need of a few midol and a good spa day. this wasn’t something that could be easily fixed but at the same time it could be so much easier had luca just excepted maggie’s real feelings, something she had thought he’d come to realize really did exist.
-----she couldn’t exactly explain why she chose to ask of him what she did. maybe it was for purely selfish reasons, though she would have had to be conscious of real emotions and trying to get under his skin for that to work. mainly she believed it was because she needed to feel that closeness she’d been lacking. again all she wanted to feel was loved and understood and though luca didn’t completely grasp it she had to hope that he knew what all of this meant. it wasn’t just sex. it wasn’t just the kind of raw need that they had for one another that had built up over the course of four years spent apart. it was a kind of vulnerability, a nagging question she needed answered. did he love her for her or was it all about some kind of physical connection? because she honestly wondered about that. maybe it was just physical. maybe that was the reason why it had been so easy for him to leave. all in all she figured she asked because she wanted desperately to hear that he loved her. that someone in this god forsaken world actually did love her. after all, they all left. no matter the age, no matter the gender, anyone maggie ever cared about always left. she hadn’t expected to attack him to the extent that she had, ripping off his shirt and all that, but the desire to feel something was just that strong. luca seemed game, then again what man wouldn’t, but none of that had begun to quench her fears until the moment he’d picked her up, cradling her against her body as he pulled back to look into her eyes. as he spoke maggie could tell that his words were true. they weren’t just words thrown about to get her to comply with his, and her, carnal needs. she genuinely believed that he felt in this moment the way that she did and that he needed this just about as much as she did. she knotted her fingers in his hair as he kissed her a second time, seating her on the desk before his lips began to travel. she couldn’t let go of him. at least one hand stayed on him at one time either knotted in his hair, resting on his neck, anything to keep that closeness between them. she was compliant as ever as luca removed the last bit of large, cumbersome clothing from her body leaving her in only her undergarments. her head tipped back as his lips roamed her body, eyes squeezing shut as she sucked air into her lungs. it seemed like she could never get enough, of either oxygen or his touch. she didn’t need to see her way there for her fingers to find the button of his jeans and for one flick of her wrist to easily have them thrown apart and the zipper give way. maggei tugged off his pants, her bare feet helping to work them down his legs without having to break their proximity to futz with them. as soon as they were both devoid of massive amounts of clothing, maggie pushed herself off the desk, still keeping close but forcing luca back as well until the backs of his legs hit the couch and he had no other option but to fall back into a sitting position there. once seated maggie made herself at home in the comfortable cradle of his body that was designed for her and only her. she didn’t want to think about whether or not other women enjoyed him this way. she didn’t want to think about luca debating whether or not to take his strangers in this close and intimate fashion. he was hers. she knew that much by the way their bodies fit and in this moment that was all that mattered. that didn’t stop her from feeling an overwhelming desire to brand him as her own. as she settled into his lap, the friction of their bodies warming her to the very core, maggie’s head dipped to the nape of his neck, her teeth pushing into his skin just enough to bruise, her lips caressing as she pulled away. she raked a hand across the back of his head, her eye locked on his as she stared them down, ”mine.” was all she could manage before she tipped her head back and just surrendered herself to his touch.
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status • finished
words • 2262.
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes • it may be a novel but it's steamy. gotta love it!
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