* catch a grenade.

[luca angelo giovanni]

----EVERYONE IN HIS FAMILY KNEW. they all knew that luca never fiddled in relationships. before maggie, he could count the number of relationships he had on his own two hands. All of which couldn't handle the secrets, the hushed phone conversation, luca leaving in the middle of the night, or being gone for weeks at a time saying he had some "business" and nothing else of where he was going or how long he would be gone. he didn't blame them. would you want a boyfriend never being able to tell the truth? a couple broke up with him, some he just broke up with, few thought they could stick it out and maybe get a glimpse of the part of his life he kept secret, but luca never gave them any. he could never give what they wanted, and to be honest, luca never got that sense of him wanting to be with them. the few that actually met his family, well, you know his family. they welcomed ehr with open arms. asked luca when he was going to propose. he never understood that. he was part of a mob and almost all of his thoughts went into how he could better himself. he just didn't have the time to think about falling in love, getting married, and starting a family. then again, back then, he was extremely young. he was twenty one when he married maggie, which was the ultimate steo for him, so you can imagine when he was ninteen and twenty what it felt like being pushed into relationships and engagements. maggie was just different. she wasn't like the girls he dated in the past. besides the fact that maggie was completely crazy, she was also unpredictable. luca was never used to that. he always knew what was going to be said, what was going to happen. he was often struck blind. everything maggie did he never expected.

the truth was... if it wasn't for the earthquake, luca would probably still be in boston. it was terrible thing to say he knew that. especially since right now he was realizing how much of her he was missing. even though she was the only one he wanted to be with, or the fact that he would ring the necks of any of the men she would be with after him, he did feel like she deserved better. it was an odd thought, but he felt on the inside it was true. he was so focused on his job, and gaining the respect in the business. even if he loved her, he just felt like he couldn't give her what other men could. he couldn't keep her safe, he couldn't be there all the time. he really did manipulate her emotions. he really wasn't that great of a husband, and he was starting to realize that. you see? she just deserved better. someone who would listen, someone who wasn't stubborn, someone who didn't egg on the fighting. it scared him a little bit. what if she was going to meet that guy in the future. what if during his absence she already met someone that was going to treat her right. luca tightened his grip around her at the thought. she was his. he didn't want mr. casanova swooping in out of no where and taking what was his. his mind was so cloudy right now at the moment. everything he thought he knew, he didn't.

he tried taking himself back to when they got married. the day fausto came into the room and told him the engagement was a sham from the start. juan sr. was just looking for a way to get maggie out of his business. a marriage was the perfect out. it wasn't something luca wanted to hear an hour before he was supposed to get married. but fausto said he needed to know the truth. at this point, he did really love maggie. they had gotten past the hating each other and the forcefulness of their relationship. but, it was like they were brought together under false pretenses. did he truly love her like he thought he did, or had he just learned to love her to make the marriage easier. but then he remembered how he searched for her when she was kidnapped by the castillos, how he never gave up, and how he killed some of the castillos so he could save her. he wouldn't have risked his own life if he didn't love her. luca had gone down to wear maggie had gotten ready. despite getting pushed away at first by the bridesmates saying it was bad luca to see the bride before the wedding, luca said he was going in so they could get out of the way, or he'll make them get out of his way. they willingly got out of his way. when he saw maggie standing there, in her white dress, he knew what he was thinking was right. luca told maggie what fausto told him. he knew she was probably confused after what he said. hell, if it would have been months before, he'd say this probably wasn't a good idea. but now, it was just... confusing. he loved her, he did. he didn't mind that they were getting married. but now he was faced with the choice that he really wasn't being forced to get married. so the question was... did he want to get married? they were young. maggie was only eighteen and he was twenty one. it was just stressful. they loved each other enough to get married, but were the ready to get married? maybe they were maybe they weren't, but at the time, luca said he wanted to marry her and that was the decision. seeing how they were now maybe they were too immature, stubborn, and immature to handle this. maybe they couldn't get through obstacles when they were presented with them.

it was funny that luca, the one that everyone thought would never get married, ended up being the first of his cousins to tie the knot. according to his aunts and uncles, luca and maggie should technically already have or in the processing of having a second child. the thought of having kids was extremely scary for luca. sure. he had rocco, who he loved very much. but he wouldn't go as far as to say that he raised rocco. violet did. luca was there as a fun "uncle" as the godfather, he just spoiled him. but the thought of having his own scared him. he didn't know why when he's been around kids his entire life growing up. maybe it was because he just wasn't ready. it was a complicated issue. he wanted to eventually, but the fact that he just got back and that maggie and he fought all the time, it wasn't really a... great foundation to raise a kid.

and now, here they were, the screaming felt like it was ages ago. it was the moments like these that made them believe that they weren't really like the people they saw ten minutes ago. it was a glimmer of hope for luca that things could return to the way it used to be. her fingers were running through his hair, probably messing it up, not that he cared. it was definitely different than last night. last night was the result of extreme anger. right now it was almost...sweet. like it wasn't so bad anymore. maggie pulled his pants down and he kicked them out of the way when they fell around his ankles. so, this was really going to happen... again. not that he was complaining. why would he be? if she started throwing stuff at him again, he might just lose it. so, she regretted what happened last night. but here she was, again, shedding him of his clothes. you can't go from that to yelling at him like this was all his fault. but luca definitely felt like this time was different. the way that she kissed him, how she touched him. it was all different. maggie pulled herself off the the desk and pushed luca across the room, and fell back onto the couch that was in her office. maggie joined him, not missing a beat. he kept gripping her tighter, his hands sliding across her back. her lips found his neck, and then her teeth did. he tensed up, feeling the pain ripple through him as he tightened his grip on her shoulders. she pulled away and looked at him, saying, "mine." in the process. well, she was right. no one else's. ever. luca found her hand and kissed her palm. "always," he said pulling her close enough to kiss her. luca's hands found her back and without hesitation he unhooked her bra and pulled it off. he shifted her off his lap until she was laying on the couch and he was hovering above her. kissed her again on the lips, a hand resting on the side of her face. he kissed her neck, breathing in her scent. he was showing her, he knew it. he wasn't just doing this either. luca found the place on her chest where her heart was. he could feel how fast it was beating. he smiled a little as he kissed it. "i love you," he stated and looked at her. "i love you," he said again.

--------------------

luca caressed maggie's face. they were sitting on the floor, backs against the couch. "i wish i had my camera," he said, holding her face in the cup of his hands. "you look so beautiful right now." he kissed her again. yeah, a lot different than last night when she got up and acted pissy. but then luca frowned when he pulled away. he came down here to talk to her and that clearly didn't happen as it was a lot of fighting and then they just did what they did best. they still hadn't really talked. suddenly, luca felt kind of selfish. maybe he should have stopped it this time. maybe they should sit on opposite sides of the room and talk. not allowed to get close to each other or touch each other. bad things happened when they touched each other. his hands pulled away from her face. "i should go..." he said and got up, not knowing if this was the reaction maggie wanted or not. "i'm... we... we need to really talk. about everything. we can't keep doing it like this. because we'll just keep ending up like this and nothing's changed. we need to sit down... in a public place or something." luca started putting on his clothes. "i'm sorry, maggie."

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STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "so far gone" - james blunt CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, sorry i replied right away. i really could not contain myself. fast forwarded a little too.
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[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, M LOUNGE, AFTERNOON, JANUARY 2012

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-----maggie had high expectations for the way her life would be, she knew this early on in life. she knew that she always looked for the outcome to be in her favor. she always wanted the best of the best and that had never changed from childhood to now. maggie had known for a long time who her father had been and just what he’d meant to the family as a whole and with that knowledge came a lot of power that she very much enjoyed. you see it was easy to get the things you want when you knew you had the power to do so. as a child maggie had known things about her family that the neighbors had only assumed. she’d known that her father was a mobster who would kill people on a whim. she knew that he was a touchy individuals with a hair-trigger temper that she could often use to her advantage, and maggie never failed to capitalize on that. you see though her father hated her without a doubt, at the same time he also couldn’t stand anyone upending his authority and when someone threatened his business by going through his daughter, his instantaneous reaction was always to protect her. it wasn’t because there was some long-lost devotion there for the spawn he despised but because she attached herself to any situation that would cause him to have to step up for her. at one point in time maggie had started getting herself in danger simply to get some sort of reaction from him but after a while it got to be too much work for a little pseudo attention. it wasn’t worth what she would get out of the situation. but that never stopped her from using her fathers influence to get her way. when kids taunted her at school she’d let them, this was of course before she was pulled from public school for safety concerns, and once school had let out and parents came to the school to pick up their parents, maggie would introduce herself to them. it was always a trip to see their curious smiles turn to wide-eyed looks of fear. from the moment she talked to the parents the children in question never bothered her again. she had learned that her father was a source of power and though she’d disliked him and gotten sick of trying to work so hard for his affection, she had never failed to use him and his name to get her way. this all from a girl in her early tweens. maggie always was too smart for her own good.

-----of course from that moment on things had gotten more difficult. she’d come to flat out hate her father, he’d stopped showing restraint for his hate toward her, and life in general just got a lot more tense. she had then used what she’d known to get into his business in her teens and from that moment he hadn’t been shy about his distaste for his own child. that was the springboard for their father-daughter feud that lasted up until maggie was eighteen and had forcefully taken the business from him. there was only so much arguing the man could do. he had known since she’d found a way to immerse herself in his organization that she was smarter than him and she’d found ways to outwit him and avoid his many attempts to gain reason to off her. he hadn’t had any power to stand on by the end. end, ha. it wasn’t like maggie had killed the man. one gunshot to the kneecap did not a fatal blow make. no instead she’d just rendered him a cripple for the rest of his life. maggie couldn’t even bring herself to feel bad. Her father had been a mess of her life intentionally for the longest time and though she’d shot him in a moment of pure passion, the fact that it had been the start of her taking over the business had been nothing more than satisfying after the dust had settled and she was sitting atop the throne of her father’s business. it wasn’t like she’d put the opportunity to waste either. only four-ish years after having taken over and maggie had done to the business what juan had never had the capacity to even think of. she had taken the “market” to any place she could. she had fortified the business and made it profitable in a way that would make her father blush in shame. she of course had saved all her best secrets for herself. because had she not retaliated against her father on a whim she would have started up her own business. she had been on the brink of that decision the day she’d been kidnapped by the castillos.

-----but she’d always had ideas up her sleeve, things she’d never intended on telling her father. she’d kept up with half-assed (for her) ideas that would always keep juan satisfied and would keep the money flowing in a way that juan seemed to enjoy, but she had never given him the best of her ideas. the moment she’d gotten a hold of her father’s business she’d done a total overhaul. she’d moved the entire tijuana plant somewhere her father had no power, she’d joined up with the giovannis who had given her the ultimate attachment to power, she’d perfected the trade routes and expanded forcefully. she’d done everything she had needed to do in order to make the business her own and business was booming. things had changed to an even greater degree when luca had left and maggie hadn’t known what else to do other than immersing herself in her portion of the business. she’d planned everything down to the number of breaths that her employees would take. she took every safety precaution and only hired the best of individuals to be her closest companions within the business. there wasn’t a single soul who worked close to her that she didn’t know backwards, forwards, upside down and inside out. she knew every weakness, every health hazard, she even knew every high school sweetheart or high school crush. she knew everything about the people who worked with her and quite frankly they knew nothing about her other than what was speculated or whatever rumors floated around the organization. she had her people that she kept close, mind you, but they never knew every intimate detail of her life the way maggie made a point to know every detail of theirs. and she never asked. Maggie did all her digging herself or she had her favorite handy hacker do it for her.

-----it was a trust thing. she’d made a point to not let people very close because of her father but she had really knuckled down the moment luca had left. anyone who worked for her during that time, or still worked for her, would tell you that she changed dramatically. there were no public tears. there was never any outward sign of weakness because as far as maggie was concerned her weakness had walked out the door and likely wasn’t coming back. but she had changed. she’d never been the most warm and welcoming of people but any warmth she had had was gone. she was a bristly all work and no play kind of girl. once again she did a bit of an overhaul, taking in new employees and making the business work for her in a way it hadn’t before. instead of working around the hours that law enforcement and whatnot would dictate, she pushed the boundaries. but unlike those idiots who let their pride take control who got sloppy and were caught, maggie took the intellectual approach and she made things work. she found an “in” in the valkyrie PD and she’d learned about new attempts to try and catch her or any other mobster for that matter and with that information she easily maneuvered around the local law enforcement. she’d never gotten caught but she didn’t let that go to her head. she never let any of her successes go to her head. each one was a learning experience. every time she got by by the skin of her teeth, maggie didn’t see that as a win. she saw it as a near loss. she made every move with the intention of making it better and since her whole world had moved away she’d had nothing but time to perfect and tweak every possible thing she could think of in order to make situations work for her. and now look at what she had become. she, along with the gios, was one of the biggest drug supplier to the continental us, europe, canada, with a goal to expand even farther in those locations and others. she was a woman on a mission and she’d been doing fabulously despite the colossal disaster that was her personal life.

-----maggie couldn’t tell you just why she’d needed luca so bad. it was probably just a lack of needing to feel that had been pushed back so hard for so long that when she was at her most vulnerable and it came to the forefront, she’d just had a desire to feel close to him all over again. to her the first time hadn’t counted. the first time since she’d returned at least. that had been something brought on by anger which was usually the case with these two but this time had been different. this time there’s been too much anger. they liked to rile up one another in an effort to get to that point where sex just made them feel right and whole. this time around sex had done nothing to quench the anger. it wasn’t the fix it had always been for the two of them. this time it had done nothing but anger her further and as such she’d lashed out worse than ever before. she was giving luca all the kind of signals he needed. she showed him time and time again that she was hurt but he’d always seemed to perceive it as some kind of tantrum. there were only so many times she could tell him that he’d really, truly hurt her before she just threw in the towel and let him think what he wanted to. at this point his mind was made up and no amount of talking was going to change the way he saw her. at least not yet. still the way she’d felt when they were together this time was beyond words. everything about it felt right. there was none of that angry desperation that had been there originally. there was this deep underlying sense of love from him that she’d fantasized feeling again after he’d left and it had taken them to today to reach that point where they almost felt right again. just hearing him saying that he loved her in that soft-spoken endearing way was nearly enough to make her forget all that had happened. it was in that moment that she didn’t feel abandoned anymore. it was in that moment that she really did believe he loved her and wanted to make things right. the only thing that could top that would be for luca to understand where all her anger was coming from, which he still didn’t seem to have a complete grasp on.

-----unlike the last time they’d tried, maggie had stuck by his side. she didn’t turn away from him nor did she push him away. she wanted to have him close. she wanted to feel his warmth against hers. in fact had he not said anything she wouldn’t have any qualms sitting there and just feeling him next to her. that was what she’d desperately needed more than anything, for luca to come back on his own, for him to see where she was coming from, and for him to want to be there by her side for as long as either one of them could manage. she hadn’t been expecting the frown on his face though after he’d kissed her and pulled away. she wasn’t sure what it was he was feeling, regret? dissatisfied? all the insecurities she’d thought had been washed away came back ten fold now as luca got up and started putting on his clothes. he talked about how nothing had changed, an opinion that maggie certainly didn’t share. she thought this had brought them one step closer. she’d thought this had tamed some of that anger making it more possible for them to talk but now that was just a thing of the past. maggie grabbed her clothes, sliding them on easily and avoiding luca entirely. she couldn’t believe it. he was doing it all over again. he had built her up only to leave her once again. sure this time might not have been as lengthy as the first but it didn’t help soothe the sting. he was leaving. that in itself had just brought back every fear and every bit of anger and now, as she pulled her pants back into place, all she wanted to do was kick him out all over again. she was hurt and she knew that the irrational part of her brain would be kicking in soon which would only lead to bad things. she walked up to luca as he put on the last bit of his clothes, trying to hide just how hurt she felt because she knew the moment she revealed how hurt she was luca would try to change her mind. he would force himself to stick around to try and fix the way things were ending and that just wasn't going to happen. "don't be sorry." she said, successfully hiding the anger in her voice. she opened up the door to her office, taking advantage of him paying attention to cleaning up. she grabbed his arm and flung him out the door, not throwing him against the opposite wall and tossing him on his ass, but giving him a swift exit with enough time for her to shut the door behind him before he could come to terms with what was happening in an effort to stop her. she slammed the door shut, locking the door from the handle as well as the deadbolt, pressing her back against the wood. "yeah. i'm sorry too," maggie said as she sunk to the floor, her eyes squeezing shut as luca proceeded to bang on the door from it's opposite side.

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status • finished
words • 2467.
tagged • laggie !
clothes • click !
notes • another novel but you‘ve gotta love ‘em.

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[luca angelo giovanni]

----COULD LUCA OF STAYED THERE SITTING WITH MAGGIE FOR HOURS? yes. could he have stayed and said little to nothing and just kept her in his arms? yes. could they have both then called a truce and luca would be then invited back into their home? yes, luca could see that happen too if he didn't get up. but, he wasn't looking for a truce. he was looking for something honest and if they pretended like everything was ok then they would only be cheating themselves. luca didn't feel like that was right and he could see their next fight being about boston, or about her being here, or who left the toast in the toaster too long. luca wanted to sit down and really talk to maggie about everything that happened the four years he was in boston. he wanted to tell her the first six months consisted of him trying to lose the russians' trail as he trekked along the united states and that why he couldn't call her. he wanted to tell her that once he was in boston, after every hard day's work he put his wedding ring back on to feel close to her even if they weren't talking. he really wanted her to see that it wasn't like he felt free away from her and that he had this grand old time in boston. he already led that kind of undercover life before he met her. chicago, new york, atlanta, vegas. people there all knew luca under a different name. in boston, he was suffocated with the emptiness he felt day in and day out. before maggie, he was just living his own life and looking out for himself. now, he lived for maggie, and it was really hard to live that life when the person you were with was absent. it was a hole, an emptiness you could not fill. luca had never felt those kind of emotions. for the first time, he felt alone. some people could swear that they didn't believe luca had a heart. at times, luca might believe it, too. but... he knew he did. it took maggie to make it beat and it took maggie to make it break.

he was shrugging back into his jeans and by the time he pulled his shirt over his eyes, he saw maggie already getting dressed. it's an odd thing, maybe you only notice it when you're in a relationship, but he could tell she was upset... again. were they really going to go through this again? why was she even mad? he thought he was going to do the noble thing. well, the next noble thing after sleeping with her. it was like he could never win with her. last night, he said he wanted some more and she got up completely disgusted with her. today, he didn't and she was upset? what the hell did she want from him? though luca was growing more confused of what was going on with her, his anger wasn't rising like he thought it would. in fact, he was pretty calm. he thought she would like that. the fact that he was doing the adult thing and telling her they needed to talk. that was what she wanted? for them to talk? be honest and all that marriage stuff. did luca want to be like they were before and right after they got married? yeah. but those times felt like a distant memory now because there were so few of those times. this was when the typical normal american couple would break up. there were more fights than there were hugs. but neither of them could just walk away for good. neither of them could be happy with someone else. how could you love someone so much and know the two of you were never suppose to be together to begin with. lets get real here, if it wasn't maggie's aggressive personality, juan sr never would have wanted to join forces with the gios to begin with. if luca wasn't one hundred percent into the business that he rarely was ever in a relationship, fausto never would have offered him up to juan's plan. in a weird and twisted way it was like they were always sort of meant to be together.

the fact the moments before she stayed leaning against him was probably the reason why luca had to get up. you see, last night he was confused why she got up suddenly and kicked him out. less than twelve hours later and here they were again but she was far too content next to him that even he knew something was up. he had to... stop having sex with her or something. clearly he came back to valkyrie too quickly and they just jumped back into what they did like there was no four year gap. luca knew it was different. last night they barely spoke two words to each other, and now, maggie was telling him to show how much he wanted to be with her and he was saying i love you in an actual sentimental way. and it just was getting back to normal way fast than what he was intending. and he couldn't just do that to her. when she told him he didn't have to be sorry, he knew he upset her. she just grabbed his arm and led him out the door. "maggie, come on, it's not-" he turned around to feel the wind of a closing door in his face and the slam of the door following shortly after. "maggie!" he yelled and banged on the door as he yelled her name. "why are you so upset? i thought i was doing the right thing." he banged on the door a few more times. he didn't hear any response from the other end. "you know what? fine! be that way. when you're ready to talk like a grown-up you know where to find me!"

he shook his head and huffed away from the door. why was she being like this? here they were again. fight sex fight. it was a pattern that could never be broken no matter how many times they attempted at being normal. but he was serious about this. next time, he wasn't going to even think about touching her. in fact, he would sit at one side of the table and she would sit on the other side and neither of them would be allowed to get up and they would just talk. luca still feared talking to his family. he would have no idea what to say when they asked about maggie and him. things were... really fucking complicated. they loved each other but at the moment they couldn't stand being by each other. they knew they'd be together, but they're trying to work through the fact that they probably got married too soon. he knew violet would be pissed at him for not calling her last night and he was in such a bad mood he probably wouldn't call anyone the rest of the day. just probably drink himself to death at the bar in the inferno and die in his room, alone. luca was buttoning up some of the buttons on his shirt, walking down the hall trying to get the hell out of here when he saw a blonde walking towards him. it took a few minutes for him to recognize who it was and when he did, he internally groaned. and here was the cherry on top of the worst afternoon ever. "you again..." he said. "i'm surprised you aren't dead yet."

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STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, luca and maggie's loft - january 8th, 2012 LYRICS, "so far gone" - james blunt CLOTHES, here TAGGED, maggie! I SAY, enter allie <3
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[allegra v.a mancini]

ALLEGRA VALENCIA AILEEN MANCINI
I WON'T SOOTHE YOUR PAIN, I WON'T EASE YOUR STRAIN YOU
WILL BE WAITING IN VAIN, I'VE GOT NOTHING FOR YOU TO GAIN
. . . . . . .

She woke up to a little boy poking at her rib and she snarled at the human, almost savagely. It didn’t help her case that she looked like she had a loosing bet with lady luck, mud and sand running up and down her pants and her hair was matte underneath her dark hood. The park bench left a substantial kink in her neck as the sun blinded her already blurry sight. Why was Allegra here? Why in the world did she feel the need to sleep on a public bench like a homeless coke whore? That was the thing though, for the first time in a while, the doctor managed to get more than two hours of sleep at a time. The sun was young, dripping everything in a pale light. It must have been quite early, six or seven in the morning, or something of that nature. Then why was a child poking at her ribcage? well, unless that wasn’t a child at all, just some person eager for a spot on the perfect bench. It was perfect in the sense that it wasn’t so close to the pier that she couldn’t listen to the waves slide onto the beach, nor was it so far from the paths the graced the edges of the beach, for the joggers and strollers full of miniature humans. The sun blinded her, and its warmth wasn’t as welcome as it should have been. Tightening the edges of her hood around her face, she sprinted back to her home, ignoring the helpless cried her cold muscles. She kept running, even through her home as she burst through to the bathroom

She gripped the edges of the sink, knuckles going white as she glared at her reflection. It was an unfamiliar face looking back at her, bloodshot eyes, unwashed, haphazard hair. And the circles under her eyes looked like bruises, fleshy in a hideous purple colour. It would have been more fun if she had gotten into a fight, at least she would have a viable story to tell. Allegra knew why she appeared the way she did, why she couldn’t sleep. She could not let go of her past, even if it was the only thing she was sure of. Ten years to the day, she saw her mother die in front of her eyes. Although Allie sought vengeance, she killed each and every russian involved, it still didn’t put her at ease. Especially now, ten years, a decade, 3652 days later, anyway she put it, Allegra could not get over it. Technically with an eidetic memory, she could not forget much, but Allie didn’t want to forget, she honestly just wanted to move on. She didn’t want to be stuck in this funk, this ever present load on her shoulders, all the questions and all the ‘what ifs’ left her sleepless, uneasy. The corrupt doctor was even forcibly given a few days off, to ‘recuperate’ as Frank Suresh put it. But she knew that he didn’t want to fund another wing she would inevitably destroy in her misplaced rage. Eventually, after she stopped critically examining herself in the glass of the washroom, Allegra took a shower and dressed herself in clean clothing. No matter how much concealer she would put, the dark circles under Allie’s eyes would remain that sickly blackish-purple colour. Whatever, it wasn’t like she was scouting the town for a potential mate, she just needed to get her mind away from thinking, something that was very hard for her to do.

It was still far too early for anything to be open, and she did not feel the need to eat quite yet, regardless o the fact that her stomach growled in protest. So she began to walk, blending in with the scenery, avoiding any attention. By some stoke of genius, Allegra wound up in front of the M lounge, the beloved jewel of Maggie Giovanni. It was here that she had another idea, something of an experiment actually. In the past few days of her being insomniac, Allegra began to watch plenty of late night movies, many of which involved the use of alcohol as an amnesiac. In one case, this group of men drank until their bloodstreams were pure vodka and would recall nothing except for a few vague memories. It was not until the next morning when they would piece things together by checking their pockets and reciepts, they would find out what had happened. Mind you, the first drink they had was laced with Rohypnol, but the general premise remained the same. Alcohol had this effect also. Although it had also been about ten years since the last time she had excessively drank... perhaps now gaging her height and weight into the equation, this would no end as theatrically and vomitty as it did before. Allie glanced at her watch, Maggie would be at work by now, there was someone to regulate the amount of alcohol she may consume in order to temporarily forget. It did not take her long to jimmy the front door lock, slip inside like a thief in the night, but she stopped instantly as she heard the screaming and yelling; two voices fighting for power. Two. Two voices she knew by heart. Ugh. Luca was back. Didn’t he do enough damage? Did he really feel the need to come back and assess the situation in which he placed his estranged wife? Allegra shook her head as she mixed herself a drink, it was hardly mixing, she unscrewed two caps from two bottles and took a sip from each, awaiting the end of this battle.

She did not move until she heard the door slam, lock, and Luca knocking thunderously at it. She placed the bottled back where they came from and slowly made her way into the hall where the office was. Of course she did not expect anything less than an acidic welcome from this Giovanni, then again, change never sat well with her, “Please, and miss your academy award nominated hissy fit? Not on your life, champ.” She snorted, crossing and recrossing her arms. Why was she even doing this? It wasn’t like she cared for the good of humanity, it wasn’t like she could give two flying fucks for this particular Giovanni, or anyone really, except for a few people who she deemed important... Ugh, if only her best friend had better taste in men, maybe this would have been easier to deal with. “Are you really surprised or disappointed? Whatever, you’ll probably leave before you tell me anyway,” It was a little unnerving, the amount of malice she held for this one specific person. It was reassuring that she didn’t hold back anything, by hinting at the four years since their last encounter. Looking down at her shoes, she bit down on her lip, portraying a sense of reluctance, something she saw from a movie she watched a while ago when she couldn’t sleep. Not for nothing, those idiotic movies made it easy for her to pick up some human traits, she supposed they all were not rubbish. Looking back up at Luca, she pursed her lips slightly before she spoke, ”We need to talk, Luca. I think you need to understand some things...Let’s get a drink, so you I can roll my eyes at your pathetic excuses some more, ” She tilted her head towards the bar part of the club. She wanted to make it clear, the woman couldn’t care less for Luca Angelo Giovanni. But for some reason Maggie loved him, and somehow by some stroke of grace she would try to help him work things out with one of her favorite people. Was this what it felt like being a good person? She didn’t like it. Life was far more interesting being a heartless bitch. Alas, she walked towards the bar, grabbing a beer from the cooler of the bar, and a bottle of scotch. The doctor could feel her fellow criminal walk towards the bar, an Allegra slid the condensing bottle across the counter, something she saw in films. She was going to rely heavily on her John Hughes films in order to help him, that was for damn sure, but she also wanted to get out of her head for a while, enter alcohol.

Sighing, Allegra shuffled around to the bar stools, shifting herself with her elbows propped against the cold counter. Before she spoke, she brought the edge of the scotch bottle to her lips, taking a generous swig, “Maggie hai amato con tutto il cuore, fa ancora, e si ruppe il suo ... ma io credo che si possa risolvere questo problema, devi solo alcune informazioni di base ...” ‘Maggie loved you whole heartedly, still does, and you broke her... but I believe you can fix this, you just need some background information...’ Allegra didn’t bother with english, it wasn’t because she didn’t want Maggie to listen in, but rather she didn’t bother to fuss around with her second language. Allegra continued, taking another sip of the bitter liquid and also attempting to explain, nearly step by step, on how much Luca fucked up, “Hai fatto degli errori, come l'abbandono della sua per quattro anni. E 'un grosso problema, Luca. Solo perché sei tornato, non lo rende migliore.” ‘You made mistakes, such as leaving her for four years. It is a big deal, Luca. Just because you came back, doesn't make it better. ‘ She shook her head a little, recalling the amount of times Maggie smiled in the past four years, hell, she was trying to recall what her, Maggie, smile even looked that. Now that was a bleak, bleak picture, Allegra recalled Magdelena’s smile five years ago, when they were at the beach, surfing. Ever since Luca (the stupid ass) left, so did the light in Maggie’s eye. Combing tangles out of her curly hair, Allegra looked at Luca, trying to keep her utter disgust to a minimum as she gathered her words, “In alcuni casi si fa peggio, perché lei non si fida più. Lei non aveva molta fiducia nelle persone che hai incontrato prima di lei, e con voi di partire, si sente tradita, come lei ha giocato un pazzo.” ‘In some cases it makes it worse, because she doesn't trust you anymore. She didn't have much trust in people before she met you, and with you leaving, she feels betrayed, like she has been played a fool.’

Allegra did not want to admit it, but films and books only took her so far in understanding romance and love. Actually, if she were to learn from a real life couple, it would have been Luca and Maggie, circa five years ago when they were married. Granted that they fought and nearly killed each other, but Allegra knew they also loved each other deeply, even if they wanted to commit murder. It was reassuring, having them as somewhat of a guide to such a foreign subject. It wasn’t completely foreign, she knew the chemical impulses that occured, the sexual attraction and physical attributes that changed... but the metephoric form of love, that romance novel, gooey, stuffed animals and flowers kind of love was foreign, if it even existed in the first place. But when Allie looked at Luca and Maggie years ago, they almost made her believe it did, “Lei sta vivendo un momento difficile lasciarti indietro nella sua vita, poiché ciò che è realmente ti impedisce di uscire di nuovo?” ‘She is having a hard time letting you back into her life, since what is really stopping you from leaving again?’ It was simple to explain this to Luca, it was nearly therapeutic for her as well. It was awkward for Allegra, trying to peel Maggie away from her work, working for forget about Luca. This feeble attempt to give her husband a clue, Allie hoped for it to work, for this feeble attempt was the only thing that would bring Maggie back. Sure Maggie was not the one that left, she wasn’t the one that fell off the edge of the earth, but Maggie was changed, and Allie didn’t like it. “Dopo la tua partenza, sì, lei era viva, ma lei non era in vita, Luca.” ‘After you left, yes, she was living, but she wasn't alive, Luca. ‘ Oh that was a good line, something a fortune cookie, or something dramatic and sweet written in a chick lit novel. She should become a novelist, it seemed easy enough: boy loves girl, boy leaves girl, boy comes back, girl kicks boy in testicles, a grand line like the one Allie just said, boy gets a clue and lastly girl get a new, better boy... or, she supposed, if the readers really wanted it, original boy and girl get back together. But she had to focus on Luca and his missile crisis sized predicament, “Lei è stato tranquillo, campione, avete domande?” ‘You have been quiet, champ, do you have any questions?’ Allegra asked, leaning the side of her face into her palm, observing Luca, trying to figure him out a little.

. . . . . . .

notes sorry it's late... yay allie being sort of nice... er. not so heartless
taggedallaggie, ya'll.
words2226, shit. novel worthy.
attirehere, but a little more ragged with bloodshot eyes and such. xD
lyricseyes on fire , blue foundation
creditbanner to asia <3 format to yours truly and italian translations to google... though I doubt they're reliable

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