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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Jun 10, 2011 23:56:37 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #272727 solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] WE BLEED FOR WHAT WE NEED
TO FORGIVE, FORGET, MOVE ON The Lyrics: 'only one' alex band The Outfit: here Tagged maggie The Notes yayyyyy. --- LUCA KNEW THE MOMENT HE LEFT THE LOFT THAT NIGHT THAT THINGS WERE DIFFERENT. in the past, they had their fights, he would be the first one to admit it. but they were never like the screaming match that happened at what was supposed to be a fun evening of poker with friends. as he laid in the darken room of his hotel room at the inferno in a bed felt foreign to him, he was stumped as to why it was so bad. then it dawned on him: they never had fought about something involving someone else. the "someone else" in question was the moretti girl luca worked with in boston. there was a heavy emphasis on "worked with" but maggie, of course, didn't see it that way. she saw "unfaithful." that only infuriated him. he told her that he never cheated on her with boston, but the moment someone was actually brought up, she went batshit crazy. and up until the mention of her, he was confident that he was going to move back into the loft. that maggie and he were going to really hammer and work things out the next day. luca was going to mention that he had been working with another woman in boston. but the more he thought about it, he didn't really work a lot with her. luca was working for her father, an old old friend of fausto. she was the daughter, she hung around where he was working a lot. that was it. he didn't even know how to prove it to maggie that there had been nothing going on.
half of him didn't want to. that half was just tired of trying to prove to maggie everything that he was. sick of graveling at her feet. he said he was sorry. he said he was going to make her trust him again. wasn't that enough? how long was she going to draw out this guilt trip? was luca angry? yes. probably truly angry for the first time since his return. he was angry at her. everything was just so fucked up. the fight the other night had only made things worse. he was just done trying to impress her. it was either they made up or they didn't. he wasn't going to drag his feet around for another month wondering when she was going to forgive him. not to mention how fast she was to jump on the cheating rumors. did that mean she too was hiding something from him and it was just easier if she believe he did so she could rest easy at night. the day after the fight, luca didn't call her. he didn't even want to. and hey, she didn't either so i guess the feelings were mutual. towards the end of the day, however, he did get a phone call. it was fausto.
at first, luca thought his uncle was calling him about some job or a meeting, or something mob-related. instead, luca quickly realized the conversation was about maggie. fausto knew about the fight. luca assumed lore ratted them out. because he highly doubted jamie called fausto up to tell him what was up. and it wasn't just about the explosive fight from the previous night. it was about everything maggie and he had been going through since his return. so, luca also had to blame violet for contributing to this intervention. he didn't do a lot of talking. all he did was confirm every story fausto asked of, which was true so luca couldn't lie, and explain to him what marriage was really about. the conversation ended with fausto telling luca he had an apportionment with maggie the very next day at noon with dr. banks. luca had been following the whole conversation up until that point. doctor? what? "the marriage counselor, of course. don't worry he's on the payroll so you two can be as candidly as you'd like," fausto said in a tone that suggested luca should have seen this coming. a marriage counselor? really? before luca could say he wasn't doing that, fausto told him that he was telling maggie and don't forget the appointment was at noon. when luca hung up he sat and pondered the whole thing for a good thirty minutes. maybe it was a good idea that fausto called maggie. because if luca did, she wouldn't have gone, but fausto was making them both go and they knew better than to disobey an order, no matter how ridiculous it was. another half hour had gone by and luca knew by now maggie should know about it. but even an announcement of doing counseling didn't sway either of their opinions on calling one another.
the next day, luca dragged his feet getting ready. he didn't want to do this. maybe he should call and say he was sick. though that was highly unbelievable. he'd have to go as far as to walk out in the middle of the street and get hit by the car. and right now that didn't sound that bad of an idea. he shook his head, clearing his head of increasingly appealing thoughts of how he could get out of this appointment. he didn't know how the counselor could "help" them. letting someone else in on the crazy that infected his life. who would be counseling who by the end of this? fausto said this dr. banks was on the payroll but how equipped was this doctor to handle what was about to walk though the door? they weren't a normal couple. once he was finished getting ready, he drove under the speed limit to the building the doctor was shacking up in. by the time he parked and walked towards the front of the building maggie was coming from the opposite way. of course they arrived at the same time. and she was here. he was slightly hoping she wouldn't come, then he could leave as well.
they didn't speak at first. it was the awkward meeting after the bad fight so there were still was that left over anger luca wouldn't mind releasing. he still had a million and one things he wanted to say to her that he didn't say the other night. he still opened the door for her and gestured her in. they rode the elevator up silently. he wondered if the doctor was a man or a woman. fausto never told him. he pushed open the door to the office and luca headed straight to the reception as maggie sat down in one of the chairs. the receptionist looked up at him and asked, "name?" luca leaned his elbows on the counter. "luca and maggie giovanni," he said as she searched for their name. "ok, i'll let dr, banks know you are here. he'll come out and get you guys." so it was a man. hm. maybe he could relate. doubt it though. aren't the doctors supposed to be bias? luca turned around and decided to sit in the chair across from maggie than the one right next to her. they sat their for maybe another thirty seconds in silence. luca was just etching to say something. he thought maybe he should say something nice. like maybe she looked nice. or that he was surprised she didn't pitch the wedding ring. yeah no, he probably should say that. "so, the doctor's a man. i'm kind of relieved. imagine the cheating rumors if we had a woman." yeah, like that remark was any better.
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Jun 11, 2011 12:45:00 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/fk5qwnjpg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;]hi » JUST TURN AROUND. it was almost hard to imagine that things could have gotten worse. when maggie had shooed luca away the first night that he'd come back after the earthquake, maggie had thought that pointing a gun in his face and pitching furniture at him was about the extent of how bad things could have gotten. man she really hated being wrong. things that had happened over the past few weeks had been a walk in the park compared to what they'd gone through that night of the poker game. maggie honestly couldn't remember the last time, if any time, she'd ever been so humiliated and so completely angry. hell angry didn't even describe what she was feeling. there were no words. of course maggie had said that before, but that was before she'd ever been worked up enough to feel something like this. feelings she'd had before, little 'bouts of anger, they were nothing like the nuclear explosion she'd felt. they were like pinpricks compared to what she felt now, even carrying over from a few nights ago. the only time she'd ever been in such a rage before had been the moment she'd blacked out around her father and shot him in the knee and even then, this was nothing compared to that night. it was so intense of a rage that maggie hadn't even blacked out. god if only she'd blacked out. instead things had moved practically in slow motion. instead everything played out at half the speed. the anger swept over her slower, people's reactions were slower, and god people just couldn't get away from her fast enough. it was been so bad that even allie and bella went running for the hills along with the rest of the people that had been in her house that night. they'd dragged luca out, shoved the boys out, then when they realized trying to calm her was useless they bowed out, closing the door behind them.
her place, god it was a disaster area. she was pretty sure if anyone had stuck around they would have heard things breaking from the parking lot on the first floor. she quite literally broke anything and everything she could get her hands on. her tables were shards and glasses that had been in the cabinets were now shards that coated every inch of the loft floor. she'd thrown the couch backwards and just laid waste to anything that was unlucky enough to look at her funny. and when everything was done and she was on her knees amongst the glass and broken everything, when her breath was coming to her in waves and her head spun, it was then that the nausea had hit her and she'd gone running for the bathroom. she'd spent the day in the bathroom, waves of nausea hitting her as her temper flared or any time she felt something. she'd lost count of how many times she'd laid over the toilet but her stomach had been completely bare within the first three heaves. she'd laid on the rug in the bathroom for fear of moving elsewhere. she'd stayed there all night, passing the time in between waves by picking the glass out of her hands and feet. the figured it was the strong emotion that had her reacting so violently, both on her surroundings and on her body. what she hated most of all was that her body didn't seem satisfied with the pain she was already in. for some reason it seemed to like inflicting more misery on her. when she'd woken up the next day she's had the shakes from dehydration and had spent the entire morning pacing herself and trying to keep her water down. after a few tries she'd managed to do so and by the time noon came around she'd made it upright and sought out something mild to eat. saltines would do the trick. they'd at least survived her rampage, or at least an unopened roll of them had avoided puncture from glass and whatnot.
it wasn't until the sun had gone down that the phone had rung. "magdelena, you know i love you but this has to end." had been the first words said. not even a hello. "i understand." her voice had been so hoarse she'd hardly sounded like herself. "i...i just lost it." though fausto was family he honestly was the closest thing she'd ever had to a real father. maybe that was why she opened up to him so readily. of course he treated her like the employee that she was on most occasions but he'd developed a soft spot for her after luca left. he'd seen what she did for the business, saw how she'd buckled down and made him so much money he could literally swim in it, but he'd also recognized what it was doing to her. he'd seen that she did nothing with her days other than work. he saw that she didn't take care of herself in the socialization sense and at times demanded she come to the mansion for dinner simply so he could see for himself how her skin paled and just how dark her hair had gotten from a lack of sunlight. he appreciated her initiative but he saw the damage there left behind. if anyone knew why she reacted the way she had, sad to say but it was her boss. "you did. you'll be seeing a therapist tomorrow, you and luca." maggie noticed immediately that there was no other options there and she nodded even though he couldn't see her nodding. "you know i'll do whatever you ask." she'd said with an audible swallow. and with that the conversation had swiftly come to an end, leaving maggie in a dark loft, only the light from the streetlamps filtering into the window and illumination the inanimate object massacre that had happened the previous night.
she spent the night asleep in bed this time only to be woken that morning with another wave of nausea. nerves maybe? she'd shuffled across the mayhem to the bathroom once again as this time the tears fell. she was a mess. hell maggie was beyond a mess. she was wrecked. this time she really did mimic her surroundings. she felt as horrible on the inside and outside as her home looked. but she'd gotten dressed and headed out just the same. she knew this had to be done. if they couldn't get through this it was likely there was nothing left to be salvaged and quite frankly at this point maggie couldn't stand around anymore and hope that wasn't the case. she needed to know now. there was no other option out there. she needed to know if they even had a remote chance of being the way they'd been before in the days before they'd gone back to work, the days of their honeymoon. god was something like that even possible anymore? maggie was beyond vulnerable and self conscious after luca's delayed return. was there any way for her to get past that? was there any way that she could listen to him talking about what had happened while he was gone and was there any way she'd even believe him? there was only one way to find out. she'd arrived a little early to the therapists office so she parked and pulled out her cell phone, making a call to a cleaning company. "yeah clean everything and take out anything that's broken. if there's anything intact just leave it in the living room and i'll deal with it when i return. no i wasn't burglarized...fuck would you not ask me god damn questions?! just clean the fucking place and be gone before i get back. got it?" by the time she'd finished it was only a few minutes 'til the session. now was as good a time as ever to go in. she checked her reflection in the mirror before stepping out of the car...bad idea. her skin was a sickly pallor and her eyes were rimmed in red from crying. well she looked fan-fucking-tastic. whatever.
she stepped out of the car and headed toward the building only to fall into step with luca. figures. even when they were beyond pissed at one another they were still on the same page for every damn thing. she said nothing as they reached the door and went inside. as they entered the offices, maggie walked to the chairs and sat herself down, stone faced. no one needed to know that she took an immediate seat because she didn't have the strength to stand all that long. no one needed to know what the past two days entailed. she crossed one leg over the other, her stomach protesting as she did so. thankfully her outfit hid the cuts on her knees and the cuts on her hands were only really visible if she stretched out her palms. she focused on her breathing and not upchucking in the front lobby of this guy's office when she heard luca speak. "oh would you just shut up. |
[/b] she said immediately regretting it. she sounded like hell, completely shattering the facade that she was holding it together well. her voice sounded as bad as she felt and there was no denying that maggie wasn't in the best of health at the moment. [/div] [/center][/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION. [/center] |
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Jun 11, 2011 19:58:23 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #272727 solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;]WE BLEED FOR WHAT WE NEED
TO FORGIVE, FORGET, MOVE ON The Lyrics: 'only one' alex band The Outfit: here Tagged maggie The Notes yayyyyy. --- LUCA GLANCED AROUND THE WAITING ROOM. the two of them weren't the only ones there waiting for someone to talk to. there were probably a few other marriage counselors in this office. there were a few other couples sitting around the waiting room. one couple looked in their forties and they were quietly talking. another couple looked maybe around his age. the woman hugged her purse in her lap, training her eyes on the wall, and the man was reading a golfing magazine. the last couple was the ones that were sitting closest to them. they looked the most comfortable out of everyone there. luca only assumed that they were the most seasoned of the couples, having come here several times before. already luca was kind of jealous. must be easy not wanting to kill the person you were married to. he then wondered if this counseling shit really worked. would this be an alcoholics anonymous thing where first you had to admit you had a problem before you could move forward because luca would get up and leave the office right now. sitting here, he really had no idea what was going to go on here. where they going to share their feelings, cry and make up? how did this who counseling thing help? what was so special about this doctor and how could he even begin to understand them?
luca turned back to maggie as she told him to shut up. luca could already hear that she sounded like shit. yeah, that was kind of rude but when it came down to it, he knew when his wife was upset, sick, or just not herself, and that was the tone where he knew she was probably all of the above. the old luca probably would have asked what was wrong, ask her if she was feeling ok, and asked if she ate breakfast, but instead he just rolled his eyes. "i'm just making an observation since you seem to think i can't keep my dick in my pants." he shifted his body away from her and looked away. if maggie thought she saw him mad since he was back, she was mistaken. any blowup prior to the poker night and right now was probably a two on a scale of one to ten. right now, luca was at an eleven. she just had no idea how much he just gave up on since he returned. he tried to make things right, he tried to become a better husband, but it was almost like she had been waiting for him to make a fraction of a mistake to kick him on the curb again. he was done being so goddamn nice to her. he was going to be more like her now. cold, unforgiving, and angry. he's like to see her handle what he had been dealing with for the past couple months.
"this your first time here?" luca turned. it was the man from the couple that was seated closest to them. the ones that looked like they were an actual couple. guess maggie and luca were spitting venom at each other a little too loudly. "we look that obvious?" luca asked, trying to be friendly, but really wanted the other two to just stay out of his damn business. the woman leaned more forward toward them. "it's a real great program. jim and i have one more session after this one. it's really helped us become closer as a couple." luca nodded as jim and his chick looked at each other and smile. well, that was super. luca couldn't wait. he looked back and maggie and nodded towards them. "i can't wait till we look exactly like them, honey." he said with fake enthusiasm that probably only maggie would pick up on. luca looked at the clock hanging above the door. just a few minutes after noon. any minute they would be called in to say things luca didn't want to talk about or listen to. though if it wasn't for fausto forcing them into this, luca would still be at the inferno, still not on speaking terms with maggie. who knows the next time when they would actually talk, because luca was done showing up unannounced or seeking her out or surprising her to smooth things over.
the door opened and a man that looked maybe fifty at best came out. "luca and maggie?" he asked and the two stood up. jim and his wife looked at them. "good luck!" the wife said, smiling at the two. oh, please god, kill him now. they went through the doors and into a room that was decorated very much like any therapist's office you saw on tv or in the movies. there was a couple and then another seat across from the couch were the doctor probably sat. "fasuto didn't tell me much about you guys.he said he was your uncle?" dr. banks nodded towards luca. luca nodded, "yeah, he's my uncle. how do you know fausto?" luca asked as he sat down on the couch. payroll or not, luca wanted to know exactly who he would be talking to. "old friends," the doctor said simply and sat down across from them. "but he must care about you two greatly if he called you guys in here," banks pulled out his notepad and pen and looked at the two of them. "so the first session is very... informal. i just want to get to know you two as a couple, so i'll just ask very informal questions. see where we are at and plan future sessions accordingly." well, luca would hand it to the doctor, he seemed to know his shit. "sounds good," luca replied. he glanced over at maggie, who was sitting maybe a foot from him. he did wonder how honest they were going to be. he knew fausto wanted the two to be as candid as possible and he did know that they weren't going to get anywhere if they continued to be like this. "so, tell me how you two first met." luca leaned back in the couch. "when i met her i thought she was a whore." honesty, right?
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Jun 11, 2011 20:58:45 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/fk5qwnjpg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;]hi » JUST TURN AROUND. at this point maggie didn't expect anything from luca. she was done holding her breath and waiting for the the next ball to drop. she was done putting herself out there, ready to put her faith in him again and ready to believe his promises to love her for all time and make it all up to her, and instead having to stand there and look like a fool. it wasn't so much a problem when no one else was there to witness. it didn't sting as much when no one was there to witness as shallow as that may have sounded. when she'd retaliated against the stranger in her home that night after the earthquake she hadn't really cared as much when she'd felt the need to kick him out. that had been angry sex and though luca had thought that had solved all problems, in reality that had only been the beginning. it had sparked maggie's lack of faith in his sincerety and had been the premise for maggie shoving him out the door when he'd cornered her in her office and one thing had lead to another. actually maggie had been alright in that moment. she'd been calm, she'd felt like luca wanted to be there for her instead of just getting his rocks off like she'd felt after the quake and she'd been up for talking. it had been one instance when maggie would have been content to lay in his arms and hear anything he'd had to say. what had really happened? luca had rushed to put his clothes back calling everything a mistake and saying that they shouldn't have done such a thing. for someone who was ready to talk and who was ready to surrender to that vulnerable feeling once again to put things on the table, maggie had clammed up so fast it nearly made her head spin. instead of listening to him and joking around like he wanted to, maggie was hurt and she reacted accordingly. granted throwing luca out of her office before his pants were even zipped and locking herself behind those fireproof doors was no way to solve the problem, but maggie wasn't a rational individual when she was hurt.
she was so used to getting hurt all the time. she was so used to having her life threatened and constantly having to be on guard from those people she was supposed to trust. how was it she needed to feel that way about the one person who was supposed to love and protect her? the one person who had given her that vow that spring day in 2008. that didn't feel like the same person she talked to and intereacted with now. time had separated them more than anything else. now maggie was constantly skeptical. she couldn't trust a thing that came out of his mouth because she was hurt and she was tired of feeling like she had to walk on eggshells. what else would happen? what else would come to light? luca didn't like that she didn't trust every word that came flying out of his mouth but maggie felt like the moment she did he'd turn around with a smile on his face nad tell her about the great lay he had in new york and how much of an idiot she was for believeing him in the first place. maggie wanted to believe him desperately but in all honesty the time they'd spent apart had fractured her sense of self confidence and she wasn't the same person she was when he'd left. maggie was confident in every other aspect of life except relationships. it had never been her strong suit before and it was probably never going to be. even with therapy there was a chance that maggie would always be just a little untrusting. she was raised to believe that the people closest to her would be her downfall and it looked like her father was turning out right after all. maggie hated the idea that juan might just have been right about her all along. the one man maggie always wanted to outwit, the only man she'd ever prided herself on being smarter than, had instilled such a fear in his daughter that it was almost inevitable that she screw up her relationship. if it was so inevitable then what was she even doing here? if this relationship was so doomed to begin with, her father so damn right, then why was she going to sit here and put herself through the misery of seeing her husband hating her?
maggie paid very little attention to whatever was going on in the room. her head was spinning and her stomach was having a case of the flops again and it took everything she had to keep a straight face as she swallowed back the bile that threatened to creep up her throat. so much anger and emotion was not doing well for her sense of well being and all maggie wanted to do was get past this. she was doing this for fausto mostly because he'd demanded it. at this point it almost felt like there was no hope for their relationship. the way luca looked at her was similar to how two strangers would look at one another and that didn't bode well for her stomach at all. maggie was no delicate person. there was a lot in life that she could handle which made her wonder what in the hell was really wrong with her. at this point all she wanted more than anything was to get past this hour, get past any last remarks luca was bound to throw as they parted ways, and just get back to the loft which would hopefully be cleaned and free of life before she got back so she could just curl in bed with a container of water on the nightstand (because all the glasses were broken), and just sleep in the hopes that whatever this was would pass. she was sick of being sick already, something she felt would be worlds less miserable had her world not caved in on her a few nights before. at this point maggie simply didn't know how to deal. living like in the corinthos house had been so much easier than this because other than her life, maggie hadn't had any stake in what went on from day to day. she didn't invest herself in relationships with brothers and sisters which had worked out so completely wonderfully for her, she didn't invest anything in a relationship with her idiot mother, and she certainly hadn't put any time nor effort into easing the tension with her father. it had been the cleanest of clean breaks when maggie had left the corinthos house behind to go to valkyrie, even before she'd gotten out from under the thumb of her father.
now? now maggie had everything invested. her life, her business, her family, they all tied back to luca and her connection to him. if that ever broke then everything she'd ever wanted and everything she'd ever working for would have been severed. she would lose everything and maggie knew that. but if there was any desperation in this situation it wasn't because she would be losing this piece of an empire she had worked so hard to perfect, it would be because the man she loved, the man she'd put her heart on the line for, he wanted nothing to do with her anymore. with that wide-eyed realization it took every ounce of self control to not groan and excuse herself to the bathroom. instead maggie closed her eyes and just focused on her breathing. she tuned out the meaningless conversations going on in the room, the glances, the worries tones, and anything and everything else. she breathed until her stomach was under control and it was about that time that she'd heard her name and finally allowed her eyes to open and her legs to force herself to stand. she made her way into the therapist's office and took a seat on the couch thankful that it wasn't a far walk away. she sat, crossed one leg over the other, and paid attention as luca began speaking. maggie probably came across as completely cold and unwilling to participate and in a way it was true, but underneath it all maggie was invested in one thing, the truth. all she wanted was to know the truth. she nodded with a barely there smile as the therapist spoke about fausto caring. that was for sure. fausto didn't often go out of his way to get involved in personal matters, not that maggie knew of any instance in giovanni history where that was even necessary but let's face it, maggie wasn't the common gio wife. she didn't bite her tongue and keep quiet she got involved. it was what made her stand out against the rest.
as the therapist asked his question about their first meeting, maggie's mouth had been the first to spoke, but she hadn't been the first to speak.she shot a glance over at luca and simply closed her eyes and heaved a sigh before she turned back to the therapist. "you have something to say mrs. giovanni?" maggie really looked at the man for the first time since she'd gotten into the building. "maggie." she quickly corrected him, noting how he sat a little straighter in his chair and cleared his throat. "we met on assignment. him through his uncle, myself through my father. just happened to work out that i'd had to trick my way in the night before in order to outsmart a sniveling little weasel of a former client and he just happened to catch me off guard." |
[/b] she'd probably admitted that for the first time in their history but it was true. maggie hadn't expected anyone to come walking through the doors that night. "i was green and eighteen and i'd made a few mistakes that night."[/b] now it was maggie's turn to clear her throat as she brushed a hand through her hair, a clear sign that she was uncomfortable but an involuntary move that just tended to happen on it's own. "we argued, which we didn't know would be par for the course in the future, fought a little, and i walked away with my money."[/b] surprisingly she didn't antagonize but maggie just wasn't up for much fighting today. she in no way came across as defeated but she was certainly more deflated than usual. even now her hands still shook from dehydration but she hid it well by locking her fingers together and not bringing any attention to the situation. two minutes down, only fifty-eight more to go. [/div] [/center][/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION. [/center] |
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Jun 12, 2011 10:13:24 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #272727 solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;]WE BLEED FOR WHAT WE NEED
TO FORGIVE, FORGET, MOVE ON The Lyrics: 'only one' alex band The Outfit: here Tagged maggie The Notes yayyyyy. --- HE WASN'T SURE HOW MUCH HE WAS FEELING TAKING THIS TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE. because remember all the good times made it only shittier that they were sitting here today in the doctor's office trying to fix marital problems. he remember after they got married and luca felt invincible. he thought that time would only make them stronger not tear them apart. he did know, that if the russians never placed a hit on him, that the past five years in boston never would have happened. then he would have stayed in valkyrie, stayed with maggie, and they would have been fine. it was just a sinking feeling that this is what they had come to. barely on speaking terms and not having any trust in each other. it was crazy though that deep down, he was still so crazy about her. you take away all the drama, all the fights, all their problems and he still just loved her. maybe people came here because they didn't love each other anymore and they wanted to find their romance again, but for luca and probably maggie, that wasn't them. that didn't need to find the romance again. it was there... just hidden behind everything that was in the way.
maggie was being abnormally. luca thought it was probably because of the way she was in the waiting room. whether she was physically ill or just emotionally drained. it actually was a very good plan. pretend you were sick as an excuse to talk less or excuse yourself before the hour was over. he had been thinking of and excuse like that before he came here. however, he knew maggie wasn't faking it. she still barely spoke. didn't respond to him in the waiting room, and spoke very little as they walked back to the room they were having their appointment in. luca kept making side glances over to her, but she was doing her best to keep herself composed despite what she was feeling. even though they were pissed at each other, which was painstakingly obvious, luca was wondering what he deal was. if something was wrong. call it the husband in him.
when maggie filled in the rest of the story of how they met, luca looked down. this memory lane thing was going to be a bitch, wasn't it? it felt so long ago. the day he went to paul's apartment to get his money and maggie was already there.luca couldn't help but wonder if they never met that fateful day and just met the day when fausto and juan sr. told them they were going to get married. would luca still have hated her? the way they met at the apartment really set the course of the rest of their relationship. luca probably still wouldn't have approved of the marriage. he didn't want to get married back then, he didn't want someone. he wanted to focus on the mob, on his career. he didn't want to get involved with someone, especially someone he didn't... want. he knew that was all in the past now, but still. it was his mindset five years ago. the days of when they just hated each other were easy. there were no feelings attached, no confusion. like their first encounter when he walked in the apartment and was greeted by some woman only wearing her underwear. surprises like that in the job kept him going. not that they came often. he had been so cocky back then. so quick to jump the gun. "if i may add something?" luca asked and the doctor nodded towards him. "i let her walk away with the money. if i really wanted it, i would have taken it," he said, turning his head to look at her. no, he wasn't ever going to let that one go.
dr. banks wrote some notes down on the pad and luca was really interested on what exactly he was writing. "so tell me about the proposal." luca would have laughed out loud if it wasn't for the very serious setting they were in right now. "the proposal happened about a couples days after we met." the doctor looked at both of them, confusion on his face. "this," he said motioning at both of them with his hands, "was arranged." the doctor looked pleasantly surprised and wrote something else down. "fausto didn't tell me about that." of course fausto didn't. "but if it counts," luca counted. "i did end up proposing to her the day we got married. right, mags?" he looked over to her. he did answer the question, didn't he? it was another sad memory that should be happy... if they were together and everything was fine. it was another thing luca just didn't want to talk about because it was the happiest day of his life. the day they got married. but right now, he was so far from happy, he was jealous of the life he used to have. before he just had to give it all up.
another few seconds passed as luca realized the doctor was probably trying to re-hash his planning here. when was the last time he dealt with arrange marriages. "ok, maybe we'll take it back a few steps here..." |
[/b] banks said. the doctor looked at the both of them. "maggie. when did you realize you loved luca?" luca looked over at maggie. the doc was putting her on the spot. [/div] [/center][/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Jun 12, 2011 17:16:57 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/fk5qwnjpg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;]hi » JUST TURN AROUND. it was so incredibly hard to take a look back and see all those good times. to look and see that this was what they'd come to. there was a time in maggie's life when she'd thought that nothing could get between them. really. there wasn't a time when she couldn't imagine herself not laying in his arms at night and not waking up to him in the morning. the thought had seemed far too outrageous, even for them. not being around one another? being okay with that? it was insane. alright well that last bit was a little too far fetched. maggie was in no way happy about luca not being around. there was no part of her that got enjoyment out of the fact that he was within touching distance and yet she still felt too uncomfortable to actually take the initiative and reach out to him. there was something so wrong with that. so incredibly wrong. she had never imagined during her honeymoon that only a few months after saying her i do that luca would be shipped off and she'd never see him again. during that crucial time when two people really got to know one another and really solified their relationship, that was the time they spent apart. hell they'd spent more married time apart than they had even spent getting to know each other. most normal couples started off by meeting in some way. they then began to date, fall in love at some point, and after a suitable amount of time like months, or years even, they took the kind of steps that maggie and luca had skipped over in leaps and bounds. in their case maggie and luca had been forced to grow to like each other really fast, despite having fought it tooth and nail in the beginning. regardless they'd still been thrown together and told to get to like each other because they had no other choice. had that influenced just how well, or badly, they got along now? would things have been totally and completely different had they met on like terms and fallen for one another in their own time? or would they have even fallen in the first place? it was a hard judgment to make.
either way this was the present they were dealing with and no amount of what ifs were going to change that. there was no reason to search the past for some grand mistake because regardless of if you could find it or not they were stuck in the situation they were in now and nothing was going to change that. they only way they could get past this was to talk it out and see if there was something worth salvaging. it would only be a wasted effort to revel in the past or dream of some alternate reality. in this reality they were fighting. in thei reality there was a chance they couldn't recover. in this reality maggie's heart was breaking. it was hard to look up at him and see that much raw hate there...so she didn't look at him. but they had to do this right? even if it was for only one session maggie had to go and say that she'd tried. she needed to do this not only for fausto but for herself. salvaging something wasn't just her job to do and she wanted to know if she was the only one invested in this or if there was something holding him back, maggie needed to know. the biggest thing she wanted to get out of this session, if nothing else, was the truth. if something happened back in boston then she wanted to know. it was all these half truths floating around that really tested maggie's trust and skepticism. it was hard to believe his every word when every time she turned around a little more of the facts made themselves known. was what that russian was saying true? had luca slept with someone while he'd been away from her or had it all been some embellishment? maggie didn't know and true she'd reacted before she'd gotten all her answers, but could anyone blame her for getting fed up with it all? she was sick of living her life with the blinders on. if something had happened, maggie wanted to know it all. if this whole therapy was ever a success, that was all she wanted to know from it.
it was no surprise that luca had something else to say about the first night they'd ever met. if there was one thing luca would never admit, it was to having been defeated. "yeah, sure he did." she said with a disbelieving chuckle. of course he would go about trying to set the story straight in his favor. "then why let her leave?" maggie's eyebrows lifted in amusement. she would have loved the answer to that question as well. she watched him write something down and fidgeted. it was weird being in a room where her every breath, movement, or response was analyzed. she suddenly felt a lot like a lab rat. was she going to have to start running around on some wheel next? was she going to be poked and prodded and tested? she certainly felt like she was getting closer and closer to that point. all of this psychoanalysis was really starting to get under her skin. it was one thing for luca to try to overanalyze her. it was one thing for her father or the gios to try to do the same thing, but for some stranger to insert himself into their lives and into the situation...it just didn't sit right. maggie heaved a sigh as the talk progressed into their proposal. she wondered if the shrink was looking for some heartfelt gesture or some sign that either one of them hadn't been completely invested in the marriage to begin with. if such was the case than both of them were to blame. she chuckled as she watched the man's reaction. "not the most common of answers is it?" |
[/b] she clammed up the moment luca talked about the proposal, the one maggie and he considered the real thing. it had been such a beautiful day. she'd been in her dress, staring at herself in the mirror in that white little tent, part of the whole outdoor theme. She'd looked down at her hands and when she'd looked up she saw the tent flap parting and luca walking inside, the look on his face grim. then he'd told her everything. he'd told her that the arrangement was a fake and that everything they'd been involved with had been a lie. then he'd taken her hands in his and told her his true feelings. he'd told her he loved her and that he wanted to marry her, really marry her. it had made the day even more special than maggie thought it had been capable of. she nodded at the question, her mind lost in the flashback. was it so bad to just want that time back? she remained quiet as the shrink took a moment to gather his thoughts. all of a sudden maggie recognized her name on the strange man's tongue and looked up at him, total disbelief on her face. why in the hell was she being singled out? "i...um..."[/b] she trailed off, her eyebrows furrowing as she fought with her self control again. she looked down at her lap for a moment, her eyes closed as she took a second to collect herself. "the day he saved my life. i...just knew."[/b] she wanted to look over at luca but she couldn't bring her neck to actually turn in his direction. "i knew the moment i had been grabbed and he showed up out of no where. he didn't say anything but he nodded. like he was saying that he would find me no matter what."[/b] her voice cracked at the end, forcing her to stop for a moment. "he was willing to risk his life for me and that...that just solidified anything i had started to feel." she sucked in a shaky breath, running her fingers through her hair before she continued. "i woke afterwards, after everything happened, and he was there. he was bloodied and looked like hell and you could just see it in his eyes. i just...i knew after that."[/b] she finally finished, brushing a finger across her cheek as she wiped away a single tear. [/div] [/center][/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION. [/center] |
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Jun 13, 2011 19:53:52 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #272727 solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;]WE BLEED FOR WHAT WE NEED
TO FORGIVE, FORGET, MOVE ON The Lyrics: 'only one' alex band The Outfit: here Tagged maggie The Notes yayyyyy. --- WE ALL KNOW THAT LUCA HAS A PROBLEM WITH ADMITTING DEFEAT, admitting that he was wrong, and admitting that he needed help. so, coming here and telling a doctor that he couldn't solve his own problems was doing a number to his ego. however, luca knew that now maggie and he could not hash it out by themselves anymore. they needed someone to delegate it. luca just felt uncomfortable that some random guy that knew nothing about them was doing it. luca even would have preferred fausto over this guy. though, luca wouldn't doubt that fausto couldn't stay bias. bias towards maggie that was. oh, luca was not blind. maggie made great friendships with the giovannis that were mostly in valkyrie. he already knew that violet, who was like a sister to him, was very on maggie's side. lore was on maggie's side. fausto probably was too since he loved her the moment she stepped into his office at the mansion. he didn't... like that. he was being portrayed as the bad guy when he wasn't. how was he the bad guy when he left because people were trying to kill him. was he failing to see the part where he burned all his bridges? must be, because he couldn't see it.
luca knew that maggie was having a big problem with the fact that there was a girl in boston. and the jackass that jamie could be, said at the poker night that there was more to it to take the heat off of him and the bella chick he nailed at some point. but it wasn't even jamie he was truly pissed at. it was maggie. for taking it above and beyond what it actually was. he knew she was just trying to find an excuse. she was running with this idea what he was unfaithful to her. but she had no clue. she had no clue that she was what he constantly thought about. she was the reason why he knew he wouldn't get killed by the russians. even though she no longer slept next to him, she was the last thing he thought about before sleeping, and the first thing he thought about when he woke up. but she didn't care asking about those things, did she? she only saw what was presented to her. she only wanted to. maggie must not care about the rest.
what maggie must not realize was that she was his wife. simple, right? not for her apparently. he knew that back in the forties and fifties when the mobs were at it's height that men had their wives... and they had their girlfriends. but things were very different now. at least for him and the closest giovanni men around him. the ones that were married, they only slept with their wives. they didn't have mistresses. luca was included in this group. mob girlfriends were a thing in the past and luca didn't even think about it. to him, why trade down? luca just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake out all this nonsense out of her. what the hell was it going to take for her to realize he's only had sex with her since he got married... to her. to put it lightly.
arranged marriages weren't common at all anymore. well, still in certain cultures but the giovanni mafia never had a history of marrying off their spawns for allies. ever. yeah, it was an arranged marriage if that's what you wanted to call it, but in the end, they willingly and wanted to get married to each other. without a doubt in his mind, he wanted maggie to be his wife. but he couldn't forget that their whole foundation of their relationship was based off the fact that they were forced to be together. would luca have given her a second glance? ha, who was he kidding. yeah, he would. she was highly attractive. but the moment she would open her mouth he would have been like, 'yeah... see ya.' everyone knew how long it took him to get used to her. he wouldn't have taken the time, or had the patience, to deal with her if he didn't have to.
he didn't want to remember all the good times in their relationship when everything had gone to shit. when fausto walked his room the day he was supposed to get married, fausto, ever the sneaky one, took him aside, sat him down and said he needed to confess something. that something was that the arranged marriage thing was all a sham. juan sr. approached him about it in a way to get maggie out of his business. so, fausto went with it, though fausto did confess to luca, he always hoped they could work. he liked maggie, he thought she was what luca needed. after maggie cut ties with juan by shooting him in the knee, fausto could have come clean with the two, but he didn't. the sneak godfather kept going with it. and there he was telling luca the truth because "he needed to hear it." luca was shocked. he had to get some air. he stood outside for twenty minutes by himself. people thought it was just a nervous groom. but he had to hand it to fausto, getting them all the way here and confessing at the last minute. then luca realized he needed that extra push. and it was weird... he just knew. "then why let her leave?" he looked over at the doctor, lost in his own thoughts. the doc had his pen ready to write down whatever luca said. "because i realized she was more trouble than what she was worth. and look at that, the very next day i was told she would be my wife."
as luca listened to maggie, he didn't take his eyes off of her. the day she was kidnapped, he barely recognized himself. it was like an out-of-body experience. he struggled with how maggie was saying this. it was just so long ago and clearly they hadn't felt like that in awhile. he looked away when maggie finished and the doctor said, "and you, luca?" fausto told him to be as candid as possible right. luca exhaled, leaned farther against the couch and decided he really didn't want to say it but he said it anyway, "i realized i loved her when i knew i might have to kill people to get her back.... and i was ok with that because it was her. she was... taken from me and i wasn't going to stop until i had her back. even if i was killed in the process... because i loved her." he too, couldn't look at maggie while he said this. it just felt too personal, like they were exposing themselves to a room full of people. banks nodded, wrote some things down and said, "ok, good, good. how long have you two been married?" luca nodded, "four years in april." it was the truth even though since they have been together they were together for a whopping five months, if that. "fausto told me that you left?" well, he knew that was going to come up at some point. "another organization ordered a hit on me. i had to leave. i was gone for less than four years." banks adjusted his glasses, "and you never saw each other during that time?" luca shook his head no. "how did that make you feel, maggie?"
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Jun 13, 2011 21:17:20 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/fk5qwnjpg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;]hi » JUST TURN AROUND. maggie had to admit that in a sense she had a defeatist attitude. though she was a monster when it came to her business and everything that that entailed, it did not apply to maggie and her relationships. yes plural. maggie wasn't the greatest to be around in social situations. she had a few friends, yes, but they were friends that she'd gotten through the business either through marriage or through the business. bella? an associate that liked to tag along. allie? and associate that hung out because it was the socially acceptable thing to do. widow? she was someone maggie considered an actual friend but she'd been a no show for the past four-ish years. it was all just a little hard to digest. regardless of all of that, the underlying theme here was that maggie didn't make friends very well. it had taken her a long time to get used to the people she had with her now and she wasn't a fan of letting new people into her life. for instance when bella had showed up and made her way into the whole situation, well maggie had thought she was way too overzealous for her own good and more than mildly annoying. bella was a younger girl who didn't have the kind of quieted polish maggie was used to and it took her a while to acclimate. even when she had maggie had only considered her an associate up until that point. it was only in more recent times when maggie had secluded herself away from anyone that she felt like bella had proved herself and could be called a friend. it was hard for maggie to accept either way, even with the proof sitting there in front of her face.
it too a lot for maggie to come to terms with things and that was something luca very well knew. it had taken her forever to tell him that she'd loved him and it had taken her forever to believe him. why he thought she'd be so willing to just believe every word that came flying out of her mouth when her emotions were so tainted by fear and anger was beyond her. he had no right to get mad at her for being skeptical. without a doubt he'd rush to judgment if she gave him half truths for every explanation she had only to find out later that she'd kept some things from him. the same rules applied here. was luca the only one who was allowed to get pissed off like that? why didn't maggie get to be skeptical when her husband had made himself a stranger for nearly four years? it was true, there was a big part of her brain that didn't believe him, but that was a combination of different effects having a go at her psyche. for one thing, maggie had a hard time believing anything she didn't see with her own two eyes. that much was just a fact that everyone who ever met her knew and that should not come across as a surprise to anyone. secondly, maggie had trust issues. luca should have known that well. he'd seen just how she had reacted when her father's story had changed, he'd seen how long it had taken her to believe that what was going on between them was more than just lust, and he'd seen just how she could hold a grudge against someone. she'd done so with j.r. for years as well as her father, raoul, and just about anyone else who had ever done her wrong. there hadn't been a single person who had betrayed her that maggie had forgiven so should he have been so surprised that maggie wasn't quick to believe him when the rumors going around were that he'd had some other woman?
yes she was jumping to conclusions and yes she was starting to believe rumors over her own husband, but every time he kept things from her or lied to her, the rumors began to look more and more plausible. why hadn't he told her about another woman back in the city he'd taken refuge in? why hadn't he told her about anything he'd been doing around there? why hadn't he told her that he in fact hadn't trusted her enough to not put a spy on her ass? hypocrite. her husband was a damn hypocrite. he acted like nothing was his fault and that maggie hated him simply because she wanted to, like she had some desire to get out of the marriage and was using his slip ups as a springboard for her reasoning and yet he'd consistently lied to her and consistently failed to believe her whenever she spoke. and had he not been the one jumping to conclusions every damn time she opened her mouth? luca was in fact that one who, after arguing with her to the point she exploded into tears, tried to drag her out of her own office for the divorce she apparently wanted? the fact of the matter was that maggie didn't know luca well enough to trust his every word like it was cast in gold. had they been together for four years before this actually happened then things would be worlds different but they hadn't known each other well when they'd married and they hadn't had time to bond as a couple after they'd gotten married. it was just the luck of the draw, on in this case an unlucky draw. it wasn't fair. she knew that. he knew that. and neither of them were responding to it very well, but it was just what had happened. now they needed to focus on getting over it and getting past it. but for maggie just having the title of being a giovanni wife didn't wash away the fears and the skepticism. she knew that times had changed and relationships in the mob were different but she didn't come from that world. she came from a world where her father cheated on a regular basis and where she couldn't believe anyone's word as their bond.
this whole therapy thing just didn't sit well with maggie but she had to admit it was interesting seeing what he had to say about certain situations. she rolled her eyes as he spoke about his first reaction to her. typical luca answer and maggie expected nothing less. she didn't expect any sort of genuine-ness there. but she transitioned into her kidnapping after that, the scariest moment of her life. maggie still had nightmares about that night and she still made a point of never going to the docks alone. her kidnapping was one of the main reasons why she'd given up her fun defense with knives and had instead taken up guns. she didn't like the closeness that knives demanded anymore. she didn't like getting that close to people who could hurt her anymore. as the conversation moved to luca, maggie tried not to look at him. she could see out of the corner of her eye that he wasn't looking anywhere near her. did it hurt that much to say it aloud? or did it hurt just remembering the feelings he didn't have anymore. with luca it was always hard to tell. she wanted to reach out to him but she didn't. had he looked over at her or something she would have reached out to him in a heartbeat but she couldn't read him at the moment and so her reaction went accordingly. boy it really had been four years almost. scary that it had been that long...considering they hadn't spent a fraction of that together. the conversation quickly turned to the biggest sore spot in their relationship. hard to talk about, but of course to the therapist it was the necessary topic to have. "no we never saw each other. we'd had a huge argument as he hadd packed so in fact we'd never even talked after luca had walked out that door." |
[/b] how did it make her feel...wow. where to begin. "i felt alone. it hadn't been more than a few months into our marriage and he had left me behind no questions asked. i wasn't in any major position at that time, i could have gone with him, but that had never even been a consideration. i felt alone and betrayed and hurt. and after i didn't hear from him i waited and when that time stretched over a month i stopped waiting and just...started losing faith. i took on the art gallery to cope, realized it didn't fill the hole left behind the moment it was completed, and i tore it to shreds."[/b] the therapist nodded and wrote something else down before looking up from his notepad and narrowing a gaze at her. "care to continue?" maggie nodded though she took a moment to pause. "after that i knew i had to lose myself in something. something that felt like it was mine. i bought a building, turned it into a dance club, and.."[/b] she stopped, her brow furrowing and causing the therapist to step in. "something else?" she looked up from her lap and nodded. "i completely lost myself in the business. the club, the drugs, everything. i would be at the lounge for months at a time and people didn't know if i was dead or alive. the only one who really knew was fausto and that was only because he had access to my computer and saw that i was on on a daily basis. other people, friends and such, had to stop by to see if i was still breathing. it was a hard realization to come to, that my friends only came by to check my pulse, but i had wanted nothing to do with people or anyone else in general. i just shut myself off from the world."[/b] she stopped with a shuddering breath, finally letting her voice come to a stop. she didn't look up as the therapist spoke, but she paid attention. "did you know any of this luca?" [/div] [/center][/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION. [/center] |
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Jun 17, 2011 22:25:10 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #272727 solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;]WE BLEED FOR WHAT WE NEED
TO FORGIVE, FORGET, MOVE ON The Lyrics: 'only one' alex band The Outfit: here Tagged maggie The Notes hope this cheers you up a bit =) --- OKAY. HE DIDN'T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE. time to go, back to his room at the inferno and waste the rest of his days there. he didn't care what fausto did to him. being here was an order, but the more luca thought about it, why was fausto so hell bent on them working through their problems? why did he have to get involved with their personal life? he dictated their professional one. that should have been enough. luca felt like they got more accomplished when they were screaming at each other, back in the comfort of their own home. not getting to the deep shit like this with doctor banks. the screaming matches were a temporary fix for a long-term problem, he knew that. but this was too soon for him to be so vulnerable in front of her. and when did anyone use vulnerable and luca in the same sentence? and what was going to happen next after this? were they still going to get into their separate cars and take of in opposite directions? luca was just extremely confused. nothing made sense anymore, nothing they were saying were really solving everything. they were only talking about the past. the happy past. the happy past luca would give an eye to go back to.
why was marriage so hard? what made it so different than just being with someone? was it just the label of marriage that changed everything? luca did know that if maggie and him weren't married at the time when luca had to take off, they would have been donezo. was it because they were married that they were still together. the more luca thought about this, the only more confused he became. he wanted her, he wanted his life back, he wanted to play golf or something like that. anything. something that even seemed the slightest bit normal. he wanted to stop waking up in the middle of the night, roll over, and feel that empty cold spot next to him. a spot that inhabited the other half. he just spent those years sleeping by himself. he didn't want to come back here and have it feel like he never left boston. it was a terrible feeling to have. that sinking feeling he got when he realized he was still alone. before, it had been thousands of miles away from each other and now they were sleeping no more than five miles away from her and he was still fucking alone. nothing was making sense anymore.
he didn't want to hear her explain what it felt like when he left. he knew it was hard for her, he knew luca knew because it was hard for him to, believe it or not. he didn't want to leave his bride. but he had to. there was no choice. he knew bits and pieces of what she was saying. he knew she restored the art gallery. something he had been trying to do since he moved to valkyrie, but never got around to actually doing it. he also knew she destroyed it. violet had got in contact with him and told him she found maggie trashing the place. violet then said for luca to come back. but he couldn't. his head was worth a pretty penny. he couldn't risk it. lore told him about the m lounge. you could say luca always knew what she was up to, but he never knew how she felt about everything. he knew he hurt her, but he didn't know how she was living with it, or dealing with it. there were dark times when luca wondered if she should just leave him. if that was easier for her, then maybe it was meant to happen like this. he knew she didn't deserve the life he ended up giving her. he never wanted that for her. he only wanted to give her the best and he couldn't even do that.
"did you know any of this luca?" luca looked up and ran a hand through his hair. "i was told of some things, but can i actually say something?" he asked. it did feel weird asking permission to speak. banks nodded towards him. "she just said that i could have taken her with me..." he paused for a moment, then looked over at maggie, "but i couldn't." the doctor cocked his head to the side, "why not?" luca started to tap his foot nervously. "because i knew i wouldn't have been able to protect her." could they outrun bullets in an underground casino's kitchen? yes. could he protect her from sex-deprived truck drivers? yes. could he take her to out of harm's way if she was drunk? yes. but having a hit on you was so different. it was people being assigned to kill you. that was their only game. to put a bullet in your head or any other means of ending your life. "i knew if she was here, my family could protect her if she was ever in need of help. if she had been with me, she was in more danger. i had to make a decision that day, and i did." he didn't know if it was the right decision. those first few months on the run before he landed in boston was rough. there were a few close calls with some russians. he didn't know how they could have done it together. they would have killed her first, because that was how they worked. luca wouldn't be able to live with that kind of burden ever. "the way things panned out were shitty and unfair, i know that. but if it meant saving her life, maybe i would do it again." luca shrugged, knowing maggie would be questioning his theory he got here. but she just had to understand she couldn't be all-powerful all the time. it took one bullet to end someone's life. he wasn't taking those chances on her.
"ok. as a couple, what is your biggest problem in your relationship?" luca looked down for a moment and back at maggie. despite how much they were mad at each other, they both just knew. "trust," they said at the same time. luca looked back at the doctor. "it's just not there anymore." banks nodded, like he heard that a lot in the couples that attended these sessions. "and how often do the two of you fight?" luca couldn't help but chuckle a little. it was about damn time that someone actually called them on the carpet for it. it was a constant thing. the sad thing was it didn't start up when their relationship was on the decline. it was from the moment they met to now. before the marriage, during the marriage when they would have considered themselves "good," and even now. it was the unhealthiest part of their relationship. "i don't know. how often do we fight, maggie?" he asked her.
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Jun 20, 2011 23:07:01 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/fk5qwnjpg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;]hi » JUST TURN AROUND. one thing was happening here that maggie hadn't really expected. she was a lot more comfortable here than she thought she would have been. sure talking about the past and everything she'd felt back then was no picnic. nothing about this was easy in the slightest. but at the same time maggie knew that if she didn't go through with this, well then she was in for a world of hurt. there were things about their relationship and what had happened that just needed to be hashed out. some things needed to be brought to the surface. some wounds needed to be reopened. maggie knew this even though she hated it. she didn't want to break open those issues again. she didn't want to open up the scar that had formed there in what had become a half-assed attempt at getting over what had happened. she didn't want to come to terms with what was done and what was said or what the fuck happened when people of them weren't around. did she want to hear about his time in boston? yes, but only to determine if he'd lied to her yet again and if there was anything there worth salvaging.
she wanted to trust him. she would say it over and over again that she wanted to trust him but simply couldn't. she didn't like bringing up the lies and the half truths as much as luca hated them surfacing. she hated not being able to get along with him as much as she hoped he felt. hell at this point she didn't even know if luca wanted her anymore. words she never thought she'd tell herself. maggie had been sure at the beginning of their marriage that luca had no place better to be and wanted to be nowhere else other than with her. she couldn't say those same words now. she wasn't quite sure what it was. maybe it was her bias and maybe it was her insecurities but she didn't feel like he even wanted her anymore.
that was the one problem that maggie had with her relationship, that it was her one weakness. it was the thing that brought her the most joy but at the same time it was the one thing she was most skeptical about. one the one hand her relationship to luca could lift her so high she thought that cloud nine was a possibility but on the other hand it had the ability to tear her apart. maggie had never felt so broken as during the serious lows in her relationship like the fight that had lead to luca leaving without so much as a goodbye and the large span of time that she'd spent with no word from him. her relationship had spurned her antisocial behavior in which she'd cut all ties to other breathing individuals and had locked herself away in her office. it just had the ability to do her in and so quickly too. nothing was a faster dropkick to the senses like one of luca's bombshells. nothing sent her in a tizzy or a fit of absolute rage faster than knowing he'd lied to her or kept something from her. it was so completely unhealthy and yet at the same time it was like the only thing that could brighten her day.
it was like being in love with your achilles heel. luca was her weakness and he was her everything. he kept her grounded and he threw her off balance. all they needed was to get back to the good times. they were the best when they were in the best of times. it was like nothing could tear them down. during their honeymoon? oh maggie had never been happier. she'd never cared about someone more and she'd never thought the high would end. it was the kind of life-giving joy that every person deserved in their lives. it was the kind of emotions and sensations that made you think you could seriously die with a life that was complete. that's what it was. luca completed her beyond a shadow of a doubt. he was her life's blood and the reason her heart beat and without him she really was just a shell of a person. it wasn't fair. it wasn't fair to be going through something like this with the one person you relied on the most. sitting here and rehashing the good times, knowing that you were only rehashing those times because you had reached rock bottom and needed a focal point to look back on...
knowing something like that really did tear you up inside, at least it did so to maggie. she really had no idea how this was bothering luca, or if it even was bothering him. he seemed to be annoyed with the overall situation but was that because their past was eating away at him as much as it had been eating away at her or was it simply because he wanted it all to be over so that he could say he tried as he tossed in the towel. it was hard to know with luca. all she wanted was for them to be alone right now so she could just ask him flat out. though the shrink would probably be overjoyed by some direct questioning maggie knew that she just couldn't ask something so personal in front of a stranger. she could answer his questions, though it might take her a moment to collect herself, but she would make her best effort to answer. that didn't mean that she had to personally take the dive and put their most personal questions, her most personal fears, out for the world to see. one person, one onlooker, was not the world but for someone like maggie who didn't open up for anyone, it was just too hard letting some stranger in.
bad enough the bastard got to sit there in his cushy chair and watch the unraveling of mob...well royalty. maggie wouldn't openly say it but without being the heir to the whole shebang, luca and maggie were about as highly ranked as a person could ever hope to be in the mob. so yeah, they pretty much were mob royalty. they should be strong when they were falling apart. they should have kept quiet when things boiled over. should have should have should have. didn't change what was going on now. maggie's head tipped back in frustration as luca set out to bring about his opinion one more time. this time his words just rattled her, and not in the good way. she tried to hide it but the shrink zeroed in on the motion like a shark in the water. he smelled blood and he wanted it. he wanted to poke and prod until she was naked and vulnerable and a fucking mess. "you seem frustrated maggie. why?" "because..." |
[/b] she started through gritted teeth, "i'm sick of being thought of as some fragile thing in need of protecting. i screwed up once and it got me in trouble at the expense of my father and yes luca had to step in and save me. does that mean that i need to be watched like a hawk? god no. i've taken care of my own shit all this time, i've faced down the barrels of plenty of guns, and i'm fine."[/b] this time there was no stopping their eyes meeting as she sought to make her words stick in his thick skull, "i'm not made of glass."[/b] she looked away from him the moment it was said, brushing hair out of her face as her brow furrowed. she shouldn't have looked at him. in that one moment everything flooded back to her, so much so she could hardly make out the shrink's words. "trust."[/b] the one letter bombshell that had done in their marriage. she looked over at the clock, only a few minutes left before this was finally over. my how the minutes passed when you were putting your neck out on that chopping block for someone to lop off. maggie figured she'd crucified herself enough for one day but no, there was time to get a few more jabs in there, starting with how much they used to fight. "more times than i can count."[/b] she said as her gaze fell to her lap. "we used to pick fights with one another. even in the most amicable of times. we're competitive people and there always had to be a winner. one dominant personality and one suppressant. we'd switch depending on the argument but it was how we kept things...i don't know interesting i guess. some couples go to the movies and sit through some yawn of a film, we used to pick fights and then apologize to one another."[/b] and everyone in the room knew what she meant by apologize. a hint of a smile found its way to maggie's lips hidden behind a veil of brunette hair as the shrink cleared his throat and fidgeted in his chair. "alright well since we're nearing the end of the first session i'd like to get a feel for where we're at right now. maggie? how do you feel?" maggie looked up, the vague smile gone as she looked around the room for a moment, trying to find the right words to say. "you picked on our past. those were the good times. those times didn't cause the problems we're having now. you wanna know what i want? i want to know the truth. if he slept with someone in boston, i just want to know. i'm absolutely sick of letting him build my confidence up just for the other shoe to drop and for my trust in him to lessen even more. he's pissed that i'm looking for reasons to go? i'm sick of looking for reasons to stay. i know i have trust issues and that's my problem to work through but he should know most of all that only giving me half of the truth is the worst way to try to build back my trust. i want to trust him. i want more than anything to just let it all go and be with him but i can't believe a word out of his mouth right now because i know nothing! alright?"[/b] with that she stood. she didn't leave the room because quite frankly she was interested in what luca still had to say, but she couldn't sit down any more. her pulse quickened and she could feel her eyes and cheeks reddening but she didn't care. [/div] [/center][/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION. [/center] |
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Jun 23, 2011 14:53:54 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #272727 solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;]WE BLEED FOR WHAT WE NEED
TO FORGIVE, FORGET, MOVE ON The Lyrics: 'only one' alex band The Outfit: here Tagged maggie The Notes super rushed at the end, but i have to be at work in five minutes and i wanted to get this out.
--- SHE WAS UNLIKE ANYONE LUCA HAD EVER MET. she was intense, she could take care of herself, she was quick-tongued, and she was just tough. luca knew that. he knew that she wasn't a "damsel" in any situation. he used to hate that part of her, but now, luca loved it. he admired it. he knew she could take of herself in sticky situations. however, like he said before, russian hits were scary shit. they wouldn't just kill you, they would first tear you apart and then kill you. if they somehow had taken a hold of maggie they would have made him watch as they killed her. take the most important thing you had in life and destroy it right before your eyes. luca knew that it might happen if they ran off together. he wasn't going to risk it, he wasn't. and if that was only going to lead to this, well she was still alive, wasn't she. so much of his family was here. they would have made sure nothing happened to her. but of course, his reasoning made maggie upset. she thought that it was because he saw her as weak. she looked at him saying she wasn't made of glass and then looked away. luca rolled his eyes. "i'll stop thinking that you're made of glass when you realize you aren't made of steel either, got that?" she might not need protecting, nor would she want it. but, fuck, luca was her husband and he was going to protect her until his heart stopped beating. when was she going to accept that in her stubborn little brain of hers.
it was after the kidnapping that luca knew he trusted her. and he knew she trusted him. it was their turning point. it wasn't anymore about the angst, the moments of lust. it all became something else, something more. for a guy that would rather of not been bothered by women and most of all, let them get in the way of his job, maggie was his only exception. he would stop anything he was doing for her. he'd throw himself in front of a bullet for her. did she even know that? did he say that kind of stuff enough? that he would literally do anything for her? maybe they said all that stuff years ago and now they just lost sight of what began it all for them. fighting aside, the moments where they weren't arguing. but the few months they had together after they got married. when he was him and she was her. and now he was worn and miserable, and she was distant and over it.
for luca, he could see the writing on the wall. since the moment he came back it seemed like maggie had moved on. she just seemed different. of course, the last time luca saw her she was nineteen. now it seemed like she was just older and mature and not the same maggie. not the wild and slightly crazy maggie. don't get him wrong, he still loved her with every fiber in his body, but everything was different now. everything. i mean, look at them. sitting here on a couch being as far as they possibly could from each other. it was so unlike them. or maybe, this was them. or what they would be like from now on. shit. was this the end?
when maggie was describing the story of their fights, he couldn't help but agree with her. it was all true, too. always fighting, always making up. it was almost like he liked to pick a fight just so they could "apologize." but shit, when she said it out loud he realized how ludicrous it was. real couples didn't do that. he sure did love the apologizing bit of it, but... maybe that's why they were so far apart now. clearly their physical lives were fine. but what about the emotional stuff, the deep stuff? was that what they needed to work on the most? luca looked up as the doctor said they were almost done. luca looked over at the clock. damn, the time really went by, he didn't even realize it had already been an hour. but the doctor wanted to know how they felt right now and luca just wanted to get up and leave say everything he said was good enough and he needed to attend to some business. maggie started first and he looked away when she said she wanted to know if he slept with anyone in boston. jesus christ, he was extremely close to grabbing her by the arm, hauling her outside the doctor's office and shove her against the wall and just scream how he didn't cheat on her while shaking her by the shoulders with every ounce of strength he had. he wanted to scream at her about how every night for the past four years he slept by himself, alone. would she then believe him? but luca knew doctor banks probably wouldn't approve of that. sort of went against everything the doctor probably stood for. maggie finished, standing up in frustration. so she was sick of trying to find reasons to stay with him, hm? doctor banks looked over at him. "and luca. how do you feel after this first session?"
luca sat there on the couch. he was more pissed now than when he walked in. "how do i feel? i feel like maybe this is a big waste of my time. did i want to come here? no. but if she can't trust or believe me anymore, than what is the fucking point?" now luca stood up and looked over at maggie. "if you want to leave me, than just do it. i'm at least trying to make some effort here. i apologized i don't know how many times since i came back and it's just never enough for you. what i want out of this is to be married. i want to be married to you, maggie, but if you've written me off than maybe..." luca took a deep breath, he could see the doctor maybe trying to step in but even the doctor knew you just don't step in at this point. "i know i've messed up more times than i can count but you got to meet me at least half way," luca looked over at the doctor and said, "that's what i want."
the doctor cleared his throat, "hm, well, i think i got enough information here to plan the next meetings. i 'll see you next week then." luca was the first to take off, moving past maggie. he threw open the door and left the office. he knew she was probably right behind him and once again the two silently took the elevator back out to the parking lot, and walked out their separate ways. as he got nearer to his own car to head over to the gio mansion, he stopped and looked one more time at maggie. however, she was leaning over around the side of the building. what the hell? concern, of course, took over him because no matter how exhausted he was with her, he still cared about her. "is... everything all right?" he asked.
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Jun 25, 2011 14:24:24 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/fk5qwnjpg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;]hi » JUST TURN AROUND. she didn't use to be so fragile. that was the part about all of this that was killing her. the person luca tended to see before him was a whole lot more fragile a person than maggie used to be. that waned on her nerves something fierce. when luca left it was like a new person replaced maggie. it was like someone came in with a shredded self conscience and a broken personality and jumped into maggie's skin. this wasn't the same person that luca had fallen in love with nearly four years ago and that part pissed her off to no end. maggie didn't like being this person. she certainly didn't like feeling the need to cry at the drop of a hat which had become a more recent development since luca had returned.
what the hell was this anyways? maggie wasn't this sappy over-emotional person. she didn't usually burst out into tears when things got rough and she certainly didn't usually have a stomach that got this upset when her nerves were fried. maggie was used to being cold and unfeeling. she was used to her friends dancing around on eggshells because she was more likely to lash out at people than she was to just start crying. this person she saw before her was unrecognizable. maggie actually liked being the angry woman who lashed out at the drop of a hat. it was easier to be that person and to apologize for being that person because that individual was what was to be expected from maggie when she handed a rough situation. people didn't expect her to burst out into tears or go running for the bathroom. maybe she had some kind of stomach bug or something that just refused to go the hell away. either way it was unpleasant and it was making her more and more uncomfortable as time passed.
maggie knew that defending herself against luca's decisions would not have gone unanswered. there was no way in hell her husband would allow himself to be told something without some kind of retaliation. that was just the way they both were. maggie was a little more prone to shaking something off or just letting it go, but a little more was still a rarity. neither of them liked being wrong and they both always felt the need to get in that last word. it always made for difficult communication but hey, this was luca and maggie we were talking about here. when did they ever make anything easy on one another? the fact of the matter was that in a normal relationship there would be two kinds of people. there would be the big personality, the one that always demanded attention and had to be right most if not all of the time, and then there was the quieter more dignified personality that let the show stealer have their moment because they didn't want it. the reason people say that opposites attract was because it was true. there had to be a talker and a listener. there had to be the wild child and the sane individual. there had to be a yin to a freakin' yang. in the case of luca and maggie there pretty much was two yangs. they shouldn't have fallen for one another and they probably shouldn't have ended up in a relationship but they had and now they had to deal with it.
maggie was this type a person because growing up in her family had demanded it. she didn't know what luca's excuse was. maggie had been forced to be a big personality in her family because if she hadn't she would have either been walked all over like the other women in her family or she would have been killed. this was the type of person her past had demanded she be and part of the reason why she was still this way was because she was defensive. she had trusted luca in the beginning of their relationship but she'd never been given any time to come to terms with the fact that luca meant no harm to her so she'd never learned how to let her guard down around him. now that he was back the guard was up and all of the half truths floating around had prevented her from letting that wall down. she wanted to trust him and she wanted to not be so defensive with him but she'd never gotten the chance to learn that that wasn't a necessity. somewhere in the back of her mind maggie just knew she still had to protect herself from her husband. though the conscious part of her mind didn't want that and wanted to be able to just trust that nothing ever happened, the unconscious part of her mind which liked to react first told her no-go. in was a hard inward battle with herself and sadly her relationship and her future were caught in the crossfire.
steel. of course she wasn't made of steel but she was sick of being considered some fragile, breakable thing. maggie wasn't the kind to submit to the whole knight in shining armor deal. if anyone was going to save her she would rather it be herself but, well, if there was anyone she would actually let save her it would be luca. but maggie didn't say anything in response. she wasn't going to fuel another debate. she'd just let it slide for the sake of her sanity and everyone else's too. she was skeptical of everyone and everything. at this point it just came with the territory. apart from growing up in this life maggie lived in a world where people would kill her if they wanted her position. if she let someone in close enough or if she let her guard down far enough it could mean a decent friendship, sure, but it could also mean that she got her head blown off. either way it almost seemed that friends weren't worth it. widow she'd been friends with before all this had started, same for allie and bella just came with the territory. those were all people she'd known beforehand or been introduced to by people she could trust. the giovanni's? they were family. maggie supposed that if anyone was ever to take her out she would rather it be the people she trusted, the people that had let her have a good run. she let them in close because she had to but they just just as much capable of taking her out if they simply didn't like it. it was a comfort to know that everyone around her had the capabilities of offing her if they ever gave it a second though. very reassuring for sure.
just about as reassuring as this shrink session was turning out to be. it wasn't fun hashing out the good times and reflecting on just how far they'd fallen in such a short period of time. granted they didn't have a britney spears 55 hour marriage but going on four years in the grand scheme of things wasn't a long period of time. it would have been if they'd been a hollywood couple or something but this was the real world they were talking about here. in the real world people had troubles going into maybe say their fifteenth year of marriage or something else when the kids were gone and when they looked for reasons to still be with one another. that wasn't the case here. they were genuinely having problems in a point in their marriage where they should still be on the honeymooner's high. they should be curling up next to one another when they go to bed at night not wanting to rip out each other's throats though at this point maggie wasn't sure if she was capable of it anymore. she was so sick and tired of the fighting because she'd been fighting herself for the lonely three years past. she didn't want to fight anymore. if there wasn't a marriage here she had to know it. she wanted to know if he still wanted to fight for it because if he didn't then maggie needed to know because if he wanted nothing more to do with her anymore she needed to try to figure out how she was going to handle a lifetime alone.
after her tirade there had been that one agonizing moment of silence. for some reason it seemed to play out in slow motion. maggie stopped her frustrated rant, anger pumping the blood through her veins as opposed to some other vital organ, and slowly the clock seemed to tick away as luca finally got all riled and started in on a tirade of his own. see? they were far too alike to really had a relationship, too bad it was all maggie ever wanted. her closed her eyes, shutting herself off to his angry voice same for one fragment of a sentence that had her eyes popping open wide. 'i want to be married to you maggie finally she'd heard the words she'd needed to hear and she let that little fragment play over and over in her mind over the course of about two seconds. so he was still invested in this marriage. it wasn't just her fighting for nothing any more this was a battle for two. well that made a world of difference.
she turned at the doctor spoke, ready to speak but instead she watched luca practically running out the door. she followed but not closely behind. she wanted to say something else but...damn it she didn't know how. and it wasn't like she was going to say so in the middle of the shrink's lobby. she didn't know what to say so she just started heading back to her car, the sharp midday light waking her wince and suddenly she was all too aware of just how the stress of the whole session had waned on her nerves. she hurriedly found the side of the building where she doubled over and heaved, emptying out whatever remained in her already empty stomach. "oh for christ's sake." |
[/b] she groaned, spitting into the grass at the side of the building before she leaned against the rough brick wall of the building's exterior. she tipped her head back and breathed in a heady breath as she heard a familiar voice. huh...she figured he would have been long gone by now. "i'm...fine. just a stomach thing i think."[/b] maggie said as she rested the back of her hand against her mouth. she pushed off the building and walked to the car, unlocking it and pulling out a water bottle. it was warm but it was unopened and it was the best she could do at the moment. she peeled off the cap and swished a little water in her mouth before she spat it on the asphalt away from herself and the car. "i should be over it by now seeing as it started after i kicked you ou..."[/b] she stopped not needing to continue. they both knew what happened that night. "what did you mean by me not meeting you at least half way?"[/b] maggie said with a furrowed brow as she leaned back against the car, looking over at luca. "i reached out to you and i never got a response. i think i'm the one who had put forth the most effort here."[/b] maggie said as she held the open bottle with a shaking hand. [/div] [/center][/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION. [/center] |
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Jun 26, 2011 9:03:49 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #272727 solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;]WE BLEED FOR WHAT WE NEED
TO FORGIVE, FORGET, MOVE ON The Lyrics: 'only one' alex band The Outfit: here Tagged maggie The Notes super rushed at the end, but i have to be at work in five minutes and i wanted to get this out.
--- DID LUCA WANT TO END THINGS? of course not. he didn't want to get divorce, he didn't want her to leave him, and despite him saying he couldn't apologize anymore, he would fight for her until he couldn't anymore. maggie truly was the missing piece. she was the one he knew he was supposed to be with. and when he held her, it was like two puzzle pieces coming together where every curve fit perfectly against him. he held on to too many memories when he went to boston. her smile, her laugh, her temper, the way her skin felt underneath his fingertips. even though those memories nearly killed him and made it harder, he didn't want to forget. and he didn't. he knew her so well and yet, he barely knew her at all. because the maggie that he had been seeing was a lot different than the one he had been trying so hard to not let go. it was like someone came in and took her over. luca knew that he was to blame. but it wasn't like he was the same luca either. he was different, too. but they had been so young when he left, now they just grew up. woke up from fantasyland and decided they had to live in reality.
four years ago, luca didn't know what he wanted with maggie. he loved her, he married her, but he could never see into the future. it wasn't that he couldn't see a future with maggie because when he did think about his life ten years from then, all he saw was her, but being in the mob, you had an expiration date. he almost didn't want to talk to maggie about the future. he knew all of it could change in an instant. he knew something bad could happen, shooting down any plans they were to make. now, it was all different. he could see right now how low they have come. they weren't at rock bottom. fifty feet below rock bottom was where maggie and luca were sitting. truthfully, luca want to fix everything. he realized what he was losing, and he didn't want that. he loved her so much, he could feel it deep down. he wanted to have a family with her. ten mexitalians they'd chase after. he wanted to buy her a real house, a type of house she always wanted to have. he'd do anything for her to keep her happy. diamonds? he'd get ten jewelers at her disposal. dresses? twenty designers from across the globe would show their pieces to her. if she wanted a dog he'd get her the best breeder to give her the best dog. she wanted the head of her father? he'd go down to mexico and kill juan himself. clearly, luca would readily do anything for her. he'd be satisfied floating in a boat as long as it was with her.
maggie was his rock, and that rock was crumbling. he didn't like the way the first session ended. he didn't like going in the first place, and he didn't like seeing her getting sick on the side of the building. damn her. his hands were digging deep in his pockets. if he had them out he'd probably be tempted to reach out for her, and right now, they couldn't have that. part of him was still pissed about the other night. he was still living in the hotel, which since he refused housekeeping, his rooom was looking more like a teenage boy's room by the day. he didn't come back to be alone again. he knew that the door to his aunt's house was always opened, but he didn't want to go there either. with half of his family hounding him? no thanks. though he would prefer to sleep with maggie in their bed, he would even settle for sleeping on the couch. as long as he was home, he could work on everything else. however, now, they were going to walk their own, separate ways, go back to whatever they were going to do, and not even going to see each other. how were they going to move forward when nothing was going on but these dumb therapy sessions once a week.
that's why he had to get out right away. he honestly couldn't stand being in there one more second. he wanted to tear out of the parking lot and go hit something. hard. but then he saw maggie throwing up on the side of the building, and he had to go to her. he wanted to know what was going on. he would be wondering all day if he didn't. "did you take anything for it?" he asked her when she said it was a stomach thing. "maybe you should eat crackers or something. won't upset it that much." he was acting very concerned, but it was all genuine concern. luca followed her to the car. he cleared his throat when she said that it only started after she kicked him out. "yeah..." was all he could say. and then she asked him how she wasn't meeting him halfway. was she serious? "you're not giving me a chance anymore. i apologize, you still hate me. i try to explain to you what boston was about, you kick me out. if you want the truth you got to give me time to explain. wait wait," he stopped for a moment. "what do you mean you reached out to me? when was this?"
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Post by magdelena e. g. giovanni on Jun 30, 2011 11:13:53 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/fk5qwnjpg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;]hi » JUST TURN AROUND. there were times when maggie giovanni seriously debated whether or not life just hated her. she'd been born into a world she hated, she was swatted down every time she tried to prove herself, she got partnered up with someone she hated, she started falling for the person she hated, she married the person she 'hated' only to have him bail out a handful of months in and leave her dangling now with some fragile sense of self worth. karma really was a fickle bitch. of course maggie did have her successes, her business being the only one. it was hard to say that knowing just how many things she was involved with and knowing that her marriage had yet to fall under that category. maggie was pretty sure that having to go to a counselor because you were more likely to kill each other than kiss one another was probably a sign of a failing marriage. it was a hard realization to come to. when you finally give in and you give your heart to someone the last thing you want to think about is that love falling apart. you stand there in front of a minister and you look into the eyes of the person you're sure is the only person you'll ever love on the face of this planet, and you pledge to one another your truest emotions.
sure it might have been a little more 'spontaneous' than most normal couples would come to terms with but the end result had been the same. they felt for one another something they'd never anticipated and something they held most dear. to look back on those times so fondly and yet be brought back to the present where those emotions were nearly null and void...it was like your heart being ripped out of your chest. every time she was brought back to reality it was like a painful stabbing in her chest that she just couldn't outrun. they just couldn't seem to do things the normal way but then again that was what made them so unique in the first place. if they went about life like every other joe schmo out there then they wouldn't be who they were today nor would they be in this position. maggie couldn't even imagine what they'd be like as normal people. luca would probably be some investment banker working in the family business while maggie was some fashion maven or worse a trophy wife who stayed home to watch the kids. something like that...it just felt so foreign. maggie was sure they would never be those people and they would never be anything like those people because it just wasn't who they were. they were rash, unpredictable people who shot first and asked questions later. it was just their style and nothing about that was going to change. truthfully maggie didn't want it to change. she loved everything about luca even if she couldn't stand the circumstances they were in now. it was enough to make her sick.
oh wait, she already was. maggie honestly didn't know what was going on with her body right now but all she cared about was fixing whatever issue this was. it was like everything just hit her stomach with some weird kind of vomit inducing tang and it was pissing her off. she'd never been violently sick before and thought right now she had it under relative control, the past night's experience had been like a nuclear attack to her senses. she just wanted whatever it was to be over so she could get back to her miserable life. she was already in hell enough, so why did her stomach have to come into play and make things worse? in truth maggie was completely surprised luca was still even here. yes she'd expected him to bolt out of the parking lot like his ass was on fire but when he'd shown up she'd figured that once he'd determined what was wrong with her he would have simply turned on his heel and left as he'd originally intended. it was nice to see him stay. it felt like there was still something there if he was reluctant to leave and instead asking questions about her condition as if he were concerned. "i've been hugging a bottle of pepto like it was a life source. it's just not doing the trick." |
[/b] she said as she threw a thumb over her shoulder to reveal the empty bottle sitting in the shadows on the floor of the passenger's side. "i tried crackers and kept them down for the most part. it's calmed down since last night just not enough for me to be...comfortable."[/b] she said with a shrug. she gripped her water bottle with anger as he started to get all riled up once again. god did they have to go for a round two right now? just as maggie was mentally preparing her retort she noticed luca stopped. she shook her head as he questioned her, her hand coming to her forehead to massage her temples ever so gently. "what do you mean what do i mean? i fucking called you for christ's sake and i never heard one word back from you! i mean i knew you were pissed at me and all that but i figured that if i tried to reach you and had missed you, you would have at least called me back. some kind of courtesy at least."[/b] she felt a little light headed so she opened up the car door wider and sat down in the driver's seat, her head in her hands as her heels clacked on the pavement. "after i never heard back from you i figured that was it. so i dove into my work and just forgot i ever even tried..."[/b] she said on a whisper, finally pushing her hair out of her face as she looked up at him, her fingers interlacing. [/div] [/center][/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION. [/center] |
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Post by luca angelo giovanni on Jul 2, 2011 15:26:13 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #272727 solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;]WE BLEED FOR WHAT WE NEED
TO FORGIVE, FORGET, MOVE ON The Lyrics: 'only one' alex band The Outfit: here Tagged maggie The Notes yeah, wrap-up post is really short
--- TO HIM, it felt like she was blaming him for the reason why she was throwing up. she said it herself. the reason behind it was that after she kicked him out she was so upset. but luca was pretty steamed after that, driving back to the hotel at about a hundred miles per hour. through gritted teeth he mimicked the fighting and cursed himself, and her for that matter, for not shutting up for one second to hear him out. as he took out his anger on the steering wheel and pretty much anything else that was immobile on the way up to his room, there was no puking on his part. there was no crackers, no medicine, no nothing. maybe she was just plain, old-fashioned sick. it tended to happen to people. however, she was clearly in pain and luca didn't want to see her in that kind of pain. but it did seem that maybe she trying to tell him the only reason he was sick was because of him. well, maybe she shouldn't have kicked him out. maybe she should have given time for him to explain some things.
yeah, the calming moment was over because after she said that she tried reaching out to him, he had no clue what she was talking about. then she told him that she called him. what? did she dream this supposed call? luca got no call from her ever. "what are you talking about? i never got a call from you. i never got no message from you," he said, his eyebrows furrowed. it was true, he did have a phone at his apartment in boston and that it had a answering machine. luca did not remember any message from maggie. he would have known if she did call him. if she had indeed called him, then what the fuck happened to the message. the only other people that had been in his apartment were venny and jamie. would one of them really delete a message of his? he highly doubted it but since jamie had a pretty awesome track record right now, he could never be sure.
clearly, there was some kind of mistake or mix-up here. "i believe you that you called me, but you got to believe me that i never got your message." he told her as he watched her sit down in the driver's seat. that was a step right? dr. banks would approve of what he was saying. he wanted her to see that he was actually trying with this whole 'making it work' thing. if they were making progress on their own, maybe they wouldn't have to stick with these ridiculous sessions luca already knew he was going to hate. "ok, look," he started and shut the driver's door for her and leaned on the door's sill so he could still look at her. "everything... is going to work out. everything is going to be ok, all right?" he told her and gave her a smile. "feel better, ok? see you..." he trailed off. he had no idea when he's see her. probably the next meeting? "i'll see you later." he stood up and patted the top of her car. then he just turned around and left, would he rather of stuck around, maybe drove her home? well, yeah. he would also rather be living with her and being married, but he couldn't have that right now either. so, he guessed right now, they just had to take it slow. hm, them taking it slow. that will be interesting to see how that would play out.
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