footsteps on my stairs */

[flynn nolan rooney]

- - - - - -

---LEADING A DOUBLE LIFE

[/size] wasn't exactly the easiest thing in the world, and while it opened up infinitely more opportunities, sometimes flynn rooney thought it was much more trouble than it was ever worth. not to mention it wasn't as easy as fuzzy little peaches like hannah montana made it seem. it was tough, the traveling, the lying, sometimes it was hard to keep everything straight and make sure one lie didn't overlap another in the worst way possible. flynn managed it well enough, though sometimes he wised he could throw one life away, or turn it off when he wanted to live the other, and just the other. he'd never intended on all the deceiving and stories, he'd never planned to become a famous dancer, but for some reason it'd been encouraged, and he'd ended pursuing the dance career he'd never dreamed of having, doing all his more dirty work behind the scenes, unbeknownst to anybody he worked with on the less bloody side of things. it wasn't like he hated one side and loved the other, either. in all honesty, flynn liked both of the occupations he had, he just wished it wasn't so much work to uphold the secrecy, especially when it came to those he was closest to outside the mob.

carly was the prime example. she'd been his dance partner for a while, they'd toured together, they'd lived together, and hell, they clicked together pretty quickly. flynn had taken the saucy single mother in like she was his own sister, and he really did love the girl to pieces, and in the least romantic way possible. she and her daughter lily had become like his family away from his family. there was always that lingering remorse when it came to caroline sutton, though. they had this mutual trust, or so it seemed to her, where they would tell each other anything. carly had never hesitated to answer flynn's questions once they'd really became friends, and he never hesitated to answer her's either, but that didn't mean every answer was entirely honest, or perhaps it was better to say they weren't lies, but they were vague and beat around the bush. they were half truths. for example, once flynn left new york, and various other times prior to that one departure, he'd told carly he had to return to dublin. his gran was battling a nasty case of lymphoma, poor thing, and he had to constantly see her in case she passed on, since nobody really knew when it would happen. the sad truth, however, was that grandma rooney was actually healthy as a horse, with quite a bit of sass left in her and a liver invincible to the threat of alcohol. it was for carly's own good though. why would anybody want to be dragged into that sort of life?

when he'd been back in ireland this last time, he'd received some specific orders to be sent to valkyrie. he was chosen in particular beause he had connections there as it was. apparently the mafias were overactive down there and the irish were feeling abit left out, figured they would beef up there forces, or some nonsense like that. flynn didn't mind it, though, not in the least. carly was in valkyrie, she'd been there since the earthquake helping out her family since it was her hometown or something. that, and his other best friend in the world, regan turner, was also there. it seemed like the ideal place for flynn to be sent, so there were no complaints radiating from his lips. it was all smiles, and rainbows, and butterflies, and hears, and overall just the color yellow. or well, that's how he would describe it if he was a flying flamer like the press was so determined to make him out to be, though in their defense he did cheer the poor eggheads on with his jokes and acting. he couldn't help it though, seeing the lies posted in the tabloids always gave him a good laugh. why not screw with their heads if he could? it wasn't like he cared what anybody thought, because any woman that flynn rooney had ever set his sights on knew damn well that he was in fact a heterosexual. that was all beside the point though. he was going to valkyrie, california, and he was actually elated to arrive.

the boy had decided to keep his arrival a secret. he didn't tell anybody he'd be showing up, which looking back, wasn't really the smartest thing because then they could have possibly had a place made up for him to crash, but oh well, it wasn't really all that big of a deal. he left dublin in the evening, and didn't show up to valkyrie until a little over twenty-four hours later. stupid airport waits, why couldn't they have sent him straight there? no use in complaining though. as the plain had arrived over valkyrie, flynn had been shocked by two things. the first was how ravaged the city still was, though it did seem to be under construction, getting better, probably not nearly as bad as it was the weeks directly following the devastating earthquake. the second thing that surprised him was how scenic and picturesque the town was. it must really be something when its not crumbling like a lego creation in the presence of an angry two year old. the ocean was well kept and clean as well, and the houses that weren't slaughtered by the rumbling earth were still rather ravishing in appearance, or at least the ones on the rich side of the town were.

the airport wasn't all too full, not overcrowded, though still quite busy when flynn exited his plane. he was a little lost on direction, but the signs got him through the building and out to one of those buses that would take him to a hotel. he found one who's marquee indicated it would be heading toward the inferno, where he knew carly was staying, and then climbed on. it wasn't a long ride there, and he hopped out upon arrival, entering the rather luxurious hotel whom his family had informed him was primarily dominated by the russians. the russians were their allies though, so flynn wasn't all too worried about it. it was only when he was actually there, in a hotel in valkyrie in california in the united states that flynn realized this was all he knew. he didn't know what floor carly was on, or which room. in fact, he was quite puzzled about what to do next. well, though it went against every male instinct in his body, he figured if nothing else, he could ask for help. so he lugged his belongings over to the first reception like desk he found, and asked for carly sutton's room number. the boy had expected maybe a few questions, or something, but the girl running it smiled at him and gave him the information without a hastle. well then, he would have to come back and "talk" to that girl about a reward... later.

the elevator took him to carly's floor, and he wandered around tiredly until he found the room number. setting his two bags down next to him, he gentle knocked on the door a few times. it was past eight, he knew that, but not late enough to really be a bother. the young man was actually particularly excited to see the expression on his friend's face when she saw him so randomly standing on her doorstep, at night, without warning. he was the best surprise should could ask for, after all, so she better damn well be elated, completely overjoyed. he heard the doorknob turning, and as soon as the door opened he threw his arms out, waiting for a hug.
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status•finished.
tagged• flarly? farly? carynn? dude, i dunno.
comments•first post, rough, and should get better. :]
attire• same as banner -lazy-
credits•format inspired by vsiders. banner goes to ruby.

[caroline isabelle sutton]

VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, INFERNO HOTEL AND CASINO, EVENING, JANUARY 2012

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-----it was amazing to see that this was what carly had turned into. never would she have though that she would have ended up here. had you asked her back when she lived in keizer, carly never would have imagined that she would have to fight to get her daughter back, would have entered into a dance competition and won, and would have lived in a new york loft before having to move back to valkyrie in order to support her family. it seemed to out of the ordinary, at least in her perspective. of course carly hadn’t quite been thinking of the future her first year of high school. she’d been more concerned with cheerleading, reputation, being social, and the occasional stint of homework than with what she’d be doing for the rest of her life. honestly if she’d have pegged her future career, she never would have assumed it would have been something in the arts. sure she had been fascinated by it as a child, sure she’d gone out of her way to make sure that the school’s cheerleading squad had taken dance lessons in order to expand their horizons, but she never would have assumed that it would become her career. it was a passion but really? things like that never usually worked out. there were a finite amount of people in show business and that kind of demand and prestige made it all the more unlikely that a low-income gal from keizer, oregon would make the cut. and yet here she was. had you asked her back then though carly would have assumed that she’d end up at some dead end desk job like everyone else in keizer. people didn’t aspire to be anything in that cow town. the most you could hope to do was get out and get tot eh city where maybe you got a higher paying dead-end desk job. there wasn’t much aspirations there which made it all the better that she’d gotten out when she had. granted she had been drowning in misery by the time the suttons packed it up and scooted out of town, but look at where she was today? she had her daughter with her, she was a dancer, she was famous, and she was making tons of money doing what she loved. no one would have expected that the quiet, scandalous little fourteen year old would have transformed into this. she wasn’t complaining. there was something to be said about enduring hell and coming out on top and maybe, just maybe, this was her time to shine.

-----she had tried anyways. it was hard for a person to not walk away from a situation like being tortured for being pregnant in high school and walk away unscathed. there was a lot wrong with caroline isabelle sutton. she was screwed in the head. she did have trust issues. she didn’t like to let guys in unless they were only going to become friends somewhere down the line. that was just the person she was. if you didn’t like it? leave. that was the best part about what had happened to her. carly had learned to not give a shit about the opinion of other people unless they were wildly important to her. she had learned that she didn’t need to be loved by everyone, or accepted by everyone, as long as the people who she deemed mattered cared about her. of course back in high school carly hadn’t really sought out attention. she hadn’t begged people to love her or embrace her. it had just come with the territory. she had been the top dog in high school simply because she’d had the confidence to do so and other people have loved her for it. did that mean that she didn’t appreciate it? no, of course she did. carly hadn’t been striving for acceptance from the entire school but when it came to her she didn’t push it away. she liked that people from all of the cliques liked her enough to talk to her and let her introduce them to people. she never came across as nosy, just concerned, and people liked having someone who would listen. carly was always that person. she’d never poked or pried into people’s lives, she’d never pushed opinions on people, hell she’d never even gotten snotty and weird with people. it was plain and simple, people had liked carly because she’d had the confidence and because she’d genuinely been a nice person. her only misstep in life? getting pregnant and letting people think that she’d done so with a guy who hadn’t been her boyfriend at the time. that was her big mistake. that was her world-upturning moment. how bogus was that?

-----still she’d say it once, she’d say it a thousand times, but lily was the best thing that had ever happened to her. carly regretted not being there for her first years and having missed out on the first steps, the first word, and all those little milestones you hope to see with your children. those were all the things she’d missed and all the moments she couldn’t get back with her daughter. they were reserved for the family who had been amazing enough to give her back her daughter after some kind of miracle. carly hadn’t ever expected to see her flesh and blood again until lily was old enough to go out and look for her on her own. hell she’d been more surprised the family who had adopted her hadn’t gotten a restraining order against her instead of hearing her out and letting her into their family to get to know lily more. she owed everything to those people because carly had really been only half a person after lily had been taken away from her. she’d felt empty and alone and she’d been angry. she’d felt like a piece of her was missing and she had blamed her family for feeling that way. lily hadn’t been lost to her in birth or something like that. she’d been flat out taken from her without so much as any input from carly. had her family taken the opportunity to listen to her they would have known that she was more than ready and willing to care for her daughter. they would have seen that she was more mature and responsible than the teenager who had gotten herself into this mess in the first place. they would have seen that she was capable of taking care of another human life. instead her parents had made the decision they thought was right for her and under normal circumstances she would have agreed with them. had she just been another mindless teenager more willing to spread her legs than anything else, she would have eventually understood that her parents were not only doing right by her, but that they were doing right by the baby. and she could understand how a parent would be skeptical of their child who had just made the gravest of grave mistakes but they never took the time to consider the options, or if they had carly had no knowledge of it. they never took the time to see that one, carly had made her mistake on her first time so it wasn’t like she’d been running around being promiscuous. it hadn’t been something she was begging for to happen. number two was the way she’d handled herself around school. her parents knew what she went through in her classes. they’d seen her come home and need to take a shower because things were dumped on her or thrown on her and whatnot. they knew kids could be cruel and they’d never gotten a call about her getting into fights and whatnot. they knew she was a good kid. third and foremost was the fact that they’d never actually sat her down and asked her what she wanted to happen in her life. that was the hardest part was having her parents dump their decision on her and betray her like that. it was hard to get over.

-----but carly was here, in valkyrie all over again and she had with her her daughter who at this moment she was tucking into bed. the two bed hotel room was cozy to the point of driving her insane but it was nice digs for a place that was merely temporary. things could have been much, much worse so carly really had to embrace what she had with her and that was her daughter her family, and her life. anything else on top of that was just icing on the cake. ”love you lilybug.” carly whispered as she leaned over her daughter, her little fingers outstretched as she gently touched carly’s face. carly took her tiny hands in her own and kissed them before she tucked them under the covers and tucked the covers tightly around her shoulder. ”love you momma.” lily said as she snuggled into the bed and closed her eyes. carly smiled as lifted off lily’s bed as a knock sounded on the door. looking back at lily carly noticed her eyes were wide open and that wasn’t going to change now. with a sigh she turned away from the bed, maneuvered around her bed, and walked across the room to the door. she didn’t bother looking through the peephole, she simply unlocked the thing and opened it up wide only to have the breath sucked out of her lungs. ”oh my god.” she said on a breathy whisper before her voice found itself once again and she launched herself into the arms of her guest. ”oh my god!” she said aloud, her feet lifting off the ground. flynn should have expected a welcome like that. carly finally found her footing just as a little mini-human had wiggled out of bed and come rushing up to flynn in a nearly identical fashion, launching herself into his arms. ”finny!! lily squealed as she wrapped her tiny arms and legs around him, attaching to him like a limpet. carly chuckled and picked up his bag, dragging the thing inside as an invitation to him to just let himself in. once inside she went back to the door and closed it behind him. ”what on earth are you doing here?” she said as she walked back into the room, her shocked completely visible on her face. a good shock, but shock nonetheless.

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status • finished
words • 1784.
tagged • carynn !
clothes • clicky !
notes • sorry for the lateness and lily's adorableness made it really hard for me to stop writing.

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[flynn nolan rooney]

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---DON'T THINK.

[/size] don't breathe. pull the trigger and forget the consequences. wash the blood from your hands. don't care. refuse to care. that was the life of the mob. even if the irish were a lesser force in the criminal world when put up against the russians or italians, but it was still the same generic principles when on the job. be cold. kill him before he kills you. kill him or her if that's what your superiors demanded. torture that person for this information. there wasn't a choice when it came to this life. he was born into it: flynn nolan rooney. there was no way out, and as twisted as it may sound, he didn't want a way out. he was an asset, a value. he had his family, he was a part of a legacy. when doing his darker line of work, he was good at it. flynn was talented when it came to shutting off his humanity and killing for the vague, selfish cause he was fighting for. was it for the greater good of ireland? or the greater good of the mob? or the greater good of himself? that was where the grey morals came into play. was he the good, or the bad guy? flynn would like to think he was the good guy, he'd like to think he was justifiable and righteous, that he was choosing the yellow brick road and not some darker cobble stone graveyard that would lead him anywhere but the light. he wanted to believe he was the good guy, but no matter what there would always be the opposing opinions. he was killing somebody's brother or sister or cousin or father or son. there would always be somebody that hated him.

maybe he deserved it.

it was hard to carry on, knowing what he'd done. but that was always when a darker piece of himself spoke up, telling him to stop whining, that he knew it was his duty, and he knew he liked it when in the moment. if it weren't for his second life, flynn wouldn't ever have had a issue with it. but he did spend the good majority of his time around people who were completely normal, performing the mundane functions of life in a steady pattern. they were in a safe place, a harbor of blissful ignorance. flynn spent his time with those people, hearing their opinions and their morals and their thought processes. he would hear condescending comments from women, he would observe the small emotional dramas arriving, he would witness an occasional bar fight or see a family happily strolling the streets of new york. round the world things were generally the same - normal people, normal actions, normal thoughts. drowning in the simplicities of life complicated flynn's views of his own. it highlighted his awareness of what he was doing, who he was killing. he'd seen the reactions to death in a family and sometimes would wonder if he'd caused similar pains. he wondered how many people wished him or his family or his comrades dead for people who's lives they'd taken at some point or another. it didn't change the sense of undoubted pride he had for being a member of the irish mob, but it still made his imagination run wild.

it would good he had good, wholesome people in his life. people like carly. carly was one of the two most stable people in his like outside of the criminal underground. he could still remember meeting her, how'd they'd clicked immediately, how he'd fallen in love with lily and they became their own, odd little family. carly was like his sister, she was the closest thing he had to a sister, the most important woman in his life aside from his own mother. she was one of the best friends he'd ever had the pleasure of having, and like a brother he'd always had a sense of protection for her. he was good at making her laugh, they could joke around easily, no thought required. she was one of the best people he knew, and it sometimes broke his heart to think he might be one of the worst people she was acquainted with. it was a good thing that flynn was not in love with caroline sutton. he loved her, yes, but he was not in love with her. that might have put a bigger target on her back, though being so low on the totem pole within the criminal organization, he usually wasn't the one to be blackmailed, most didn't really know who he was. the gay dancer kid whom was carly sutton's partner. nobody bothered them, the press included, because of the many false accusations about his sexuality which he refused to confirm or deny, mostly because it was funny. but partly because it was easier for carly. the press hounded her enough about her love life.

it was god to see her again, he couldn't help but be happy even though there was fractional guilt for having to lie about where he'd been and why. the sick old gran line, again. at this point she ought to be dead, but oh the shames of re-occurring cancer. poor nonny rooney. too bad the old gal was still kickin' like a bucking bronco. carly didn't know that though, which was good. he was glad she'd never come to ireland with him to meet his family, because then he might have to just say his grandmother died and have to find a new excuse for disappearing out of the blue, because if carly actually met his grandmother, she'd either realize the woman wasn't sick or was somehow miraculously cured. the look of surprise on carly's face was priceless, and her reaction too, though it was all expected. her squeezing her and lifting her off the ground as she leaped into his arms, pecking her on the cheek, "whoa whoa, honey, don't call me your god. i believe that's blasphemous." he joked lamely. give the guy a break, he was dead tired. and then, once carly was free, came lily. "lilybug!" he crooned happily, giving her a kiss on the forehead before shuffling into the suite, the munchkin still attached to him. he made his way to the couch, plotting down and dramatically groaning, laughing at lily as she continued to hug him. she as like a baby monkey, or something.

flynn looked over towards carly, his eyebrows raising up with his signature smirk on his lips, "love, how could i stay away?" he shrugged, sliding his shoes off with his feet, "nah, i didn't have much to do back in ireland, mum's house is still full as ever. plus, i missed you. figure i should be here, moral support and all." he looked around the hotel room, "huh, so how's valkyrie been treating you?" and then he shifted his gaze towards lily, touching the tip of her nose with his index finger, "and you, my little padawan?" he whispered in a decrepit yoda imitation.
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status•finished.
tagged• flarly? farly? carynn? dude, i dunno.
comments• i geeked out at the end xD
attire• same as banner -lazy-
credits•format inspired by vsiders. banner goes to ruby.

[caroline isabelle sutton]

VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, INFERNO HOTEL AND CASINO, EVENING, JANUARY 2012

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-----friends were hard to come by for carly sutton, always had been. but you wouldn’t have known that had you seen her as a freshman in high school before the whole “baby scandal” thing happened. she really had been top dog. she’d been the head bitch on campus, the queen bee, or anything other variation of the term. for someone who had fallen so hard from grace, she really had at one point been on top of the world. the best part, and what had probably been her downfall, was the fact that carly had done all of that without fear. unlike some high school situations, she wasn’t envied and feared to her title role. she hadn’t gotten that way by influencing people or trying some other way to get what she wanted. she didn’t manipulate people for their boyfriends and she didn’t promise geeks dates for homework. she’d been an honest to goodness good kid. that had probably been the reason why the scandal had been such an issue. she hadn’t been the type of person people feared turning against. she had a following of people who knew she was a nice girl because she’d made a point of being nothing other than herself in high school. maybe that was where she’d gone wrong. carly had never hidden herself away for the sake of her reputation. she had always been open and honest with people and they had liked that about her. still that only meant that when disaster struck there was no wall she could put up in order to keep people out. everyone knew her business and everyone’s assumption of their knowledge only went on to fuel more vicious rumors. at one point carly didn’t care about what anyone had to say but she had to wonder if she was a little more selfish or self serving if that wouldn’t have happened to her. if she’d gone out and just protected herself a little more would she have been better off? it was pointless to wonder, carly knew that, but when you had faced such a world of heartache on your own and when you’d had so much of your life destroyed by something that had happened, well you just had to wonder if maybe, just maybe, something about your life could have changed had you made one little change in the way you lived for life.

-----carly never would have changed the outcome though. lily was and would always be the best thing about her life and that was what was most important to her. she would never change the outcome such that lily never existed. sleeping with cain had been a mistake. being under the assumption that people in high school had cared about her more than just to further their reputations had been a mistake. a lot of the things she’d done as a child had been mistakes, but lily would never be one. even when she was a teenager and they were undoubtedly butting heads about one issue or another, carly would never regret having given birth to lily or having gotten her back some few years later. the future was wide open for the two of them. where would things stand in a few years? what would their small family look like? it was hard to imagine there being anyone else in her life at this point when she was so used to it just being the two of them, but carly did want that. she wanted to eventually find someone who she could love and who lily could see as yet another father figure. now that was an outcome carly had never expected. for a child who really didn’t know much about her father or who he really was, lily sure had a lot of father figures in her life. she had her uncle wes first and foremost. wes had taken to lily like a fish to water and he adored her. when carly had gotten her back, wes had been the first to dive in there and make that child feel welcome. he was her go-to babysitter within the family because they just got along so well. maybe it was because wes liked coloring in books as much as lily did or maybe because his lame jokes catered to her age group but either way he was the first she would go running to when carly took her next door to see the family. lily’s grandparents, carly’s mother and father, were accepting of the young child and they’d embraced the fact that they were grandparents so early on in life, but they had been the ones to get rid of lily in the first place. there was probably an air of guilt and reluctance in there somewhere when it came to them because though they interacted with her and acted like her grandparents, carly could always see a little hesitation on their part. well it was all she could do to get them to interact. it wasn’t like lily had two pairs of grandparents. cain’s mother and father lived back in keizer and were the exact kind of people carly wanted nothing to do with anymore. besides, to this day they probably still believed that cain had been telling the truth when he’d told the entire town that carly had cheated.

-----but wes wasn’t the only father figure the four year old had. lily had grown to accept many of carly’s male friends as father figures. there was sam of course. the man had moved in with them when they’d lived in new york and he’d walked her around town like his own child. he had taken her to daycare when carly was swamped or had bought her chicken soup when lily had a sore throat. he was one of the greatest men carly knew and he really was the best friend a girl could ask for. it was almost a shame that all he wanted to be was friends because had it just been based on chemistry with her daughter she could have fallen head over heels for him. just seeing those two together, the way lily had faith enough in him to curl up in his lap and fall asleep in his arms, it was breathtaking. not to mention the fact that he was one of the best friends she could ever ask for. sam had been there for carly through thick and thin. he’d taught her about the famous life and how to really handle everything that was thrown her way. it was amazing. a mentorship carly would have never expected for sure. sure the press made their friendship out to be something else entirely but the truth of the matter was the people’s perception didn’t matter to carly when it came to personal matters. unlike before when she had cared about what other people had thought, when it came to real life and being out on her own she hadn’t had a care in the world what other people had to say about her or the relationships people had assumed her to be in. take flynn for example. the press and everyone else had figured that flynn was gay not just because of the fact that he made his career dancing but because he hadn’t corrected them and joked around with their assumptions. flynn couldn’t have been further from gay if he’d tried. went to show that the press knew next to nothing when it came to the personal lives of the celebrities they loved to follow. the best thing about flynn though? aside from his witty banter and his ability to pretty much put any sutton woman at ease? he was great with lily. yet another father figure who had come into her life. she attracted them like flies and carly couldn’t have been happier. because though she had all these different father figures, wes, sam, flynn, regan, etc., she learned something different from every one of them. wes taught lily about acceptance and loved to take her fishing on occasion. sam taught her leniency and truthfully was the most substantial of the men to act like a father to her. flynn taught her about how to laugh and really was her buddy of sorts. regan taught her how to appreciate the arts and how to really love music the way both he and her mother loved music. but all of them taught her the same thing, how to be a decent human being. lily was never lacking in the orals department being surrounded by the crew that she was. with all those friends and her mother at her back she was sure to turn out to be a good kid, carly had no doubts about that.

-----she couldn’t believe flynn was here, standing outside her hotel room, just waiting for her to open up her door. she couldn’t quite help herself as she launched herself into the arms of one of her best friends, all smiles as he caught her and gave her a good squeeze. she rolled her eyes as he spoke, getting out of the way of lily in the process. she plopped his bag down on the floor, watching as flynn just walked right in with lily wrapped around him like a limpet. this was no surprise. hell this was the daily affair back in new york and all of a sudden carly felt like she was right back there. she sat herself down on the couch next to flynn moments after he’d sat. ”yeah true. i don’t know how you do it.” she mocked him right back with a smile. ”your grams feeling better?” she asked, fully concerned about the grandmother who kept falling ill. honestly it worried her, not to mention it made her fear old age all the more. ”moral support’s nice. i could always use it.” carly smiled, reaching out a hand to peel lily off him a bit. she could get grabby when she wanted to. ”calm yourself child. you still have to sleep tonight remember?” she said, whipping out the momma voice. lily pulled away slightly but only so she could get a better seat in his lap with her legs draping over his, her feet winding up in her mother’s lap, and her head resting on flynn’s shoulder. ”valkyrie’s been good. everything i remember it to be, only more like a bunch of dominos that have fallen.” she shrugged, trying not to fall into her normal tirade mode. she was oddly protective of this place. ”it’s really hard seeing my home in shambles.” carly smiled as she watched flynn with lily, watching her daughter’s face light up whenever his attention turned to her. ”mastering the force of course.” lily said in the remnants of her baby slur with a big smile.

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status • finished
words • 1844.
tagged • carynn !
clothes • clicky !
notes • --.

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[flynn nolan rooney]

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---THE SIMPLEST WORDS FELT LIKE

[/size] ten thousand pounds of lead being heaved onto his back. your grams feeling better? that was all it took for the guilty spring of water to swallow him whole, begin to suffocate him right where he stood. most of the time he could shrug it off easily, flynn rooney was the type to avoid confronting his emotions anyway. but every so often somebody would catch him off guard, even if he was used to it. carly asked that question every time he returned from his religiously spontaneous trips back to his homeland, and normally he was prepared, but the lie had been the last thing on his mind. he was tired, suffering from severe jet lag, and was craving mundane, light hearted conversation. the words stung him though, made him feel a pang of sadness and remorse that carly worried over his sick grandmother, who wasn't sick at all. tough as nails, that woman was. it wasn't like he could outright tell her the truth though, not at all. and how likely would it be if he one day told her his grandmother's illness was miraculously cured? not to mention he needed the cover story, something to tell her when he randomly would disappear all the time. he could say he wanted to go visit his family, sure, but it happened much too often for that. grandmother was the best bet, for now. he could only pray to god she never found out. "she's swell," he muttered, tasting the metallic fib on his tongue. he adored carly, honest to god, and she was his best friend in the world aside from his brothers, who didn't really count due to blood relation, but there was no way in hell he would ever spill the truth to her. that was one cat that he would never let out of the bag. if he had any say in it, that cat would suffocate and rot in that bag under an old cronnie's house where nobody would ever go looking for him. it wouldn't be safe for him to tell her the truth. he would be scolded, punished. that wasn't really what worried him though. he could handle a few insults and crude words from his oh, so lovely mr. selwyn. uptight asshole. what he wouldn't be able to handle was putting carly in danger. if something ever happened to her, or dare he think it, lily he would never forgive himself. they were like family to him, blood or no.

lily's little butterfly heartbeat against his chest reminded him this wasn't the time for his breath to shorten and his chest to tighten. this was him visiting his friends, that was all. he was supposed to be happy, and as soon as he pushed back the sullen emotions and iron stone expression, his tired eyes captured a sort of brightness from when he'd first come in, a weary grin plastered across his ageless features. "...i probably shouldn't have come so late," he admitted sheepishly, "i could go somewhere else for the night if this is too sudden," he wasn't serious. he knew carly, and carly wouldn't ever suggest he walked out into a strange city he'd never visited a day in his life. he knew she was just as excited as lily was. she wouldn't throw him out, her heart was much too golden for that. he still felt better offering though, at least he was giving her the option to throw him out. that was something he adored about her. caroline sutton was this beautiful, talented girl. yes, she had a bad taste in men, but he was trying to look past her few flaws. she was one of the kindest souls he'd ever come across, very selfless. he knew it the moment he met her, when he was still his show off, asshole self, and yet she put up with him. there was no romantic feelings towards carly within him. when they'd met, he'd felt primeval lust for about fifteen seconds before carly started to be thought of as a sister in his mind. that was exactly what she was though, his sister, the sister he'd never had but always secretly yearned for. he wished she knew the rest of his family. his parents would adore her, so would his brothers. that would just be too risky though, and so he never brought it up. she was the type of person who made him want to be a better person because he was ashamed to tell her little facts about him.

he drank. he slept around. he was a murderer. that was flynn. he'd killed one too many sons for him to believe he ever deserved his own. he'd done things that would cause even the devil himself to wash white in color and die of a heart attack. flynn rooney was not a good person. he was the type of guy who would have a woman bring him home, sleep with her, and be out the door before she even knew his name. he pounded forceful amounts of alcohol on his liver day after day. he didn't believe in any god or savior. he didn't have any redeeming qualities. he was a dancing, drunk, killer, and that about summed up his lifestyle. carly still stood by him, though, despite the imperfections she did know about. why? he hadn't a helluva clue. somehow she saw past it all. he knew though, he knew that there was only so much that kind hearted soul could take from him, though. there was only so much anybody would put up with aside from his own mother. maybe that was why relationships weren't something he ever tried to pursue. he wasn't good at keeping people around, hence carly and regan, his only two friends aside from his family and not so legal allies. if she knew.... even the smallest things he'd done... the smuggling, that would probably be her one way ticket off the flynn's fan club train. he couldn't even imagine the reaction to the torture, or the killings. people weren't real accepting of killers, even if he was killing people just as bad as himself. and despite all the sorrow and guilt he felt about it all, the way he wished he could be a good friend or maybe just a plain, normal guy with trust issues about women... flynn would never, not in a million years, leave his life behind.

love was a powerful word. between googly eyed teenagers it meant nothing, but between family it meant the world. it was the foundation of those unbreakable bonds, the ones that kept flynn tied down to the life he lived. his great grandfather had been a part of the mob. his grandfather was also a part of it, as was his father, all his uncles, brothers, cousins, and more. they were family, and family didn't back out on family. the world could be crashing down on top of him, and flynn would still save his family. that was, unless one of them jabbed a silver dagger into his back, but that would never happen. he would do anything for his mother, his father, his various brothers. dropping out of the business would be like breaking a promise, or more strictly, a commandment. it was some sort of silent bond they had, the mob. they never spoke of it around the dinner table, or just for shits and giggles, it was certainly not the most important aspect of their lives... but it was important. if he ever turned his back on them, and one of them was shot and killed, flynn would rot in misery for the rest of his sorry life. he would drown himself in alcohol on a raft in the middle of the ocean, trying to numb the pain as he waited to starve to death or for a great white to tear him to shreds. it was something to be considered, leaving. his family needed him. they trusted him. they counted on him. it was an act of loyalty, and an act of love. loyalty was one of the strongest things in the world if properly planets, watered, and nourished. it was unbreakable between the right people, something that you couldn't simply change your mind about one day out of the blue. it was permanent as the moon and the sun. and then there was the shameful part of it he scarcely admit to himself, the part that made him cringe, and yet gave him some sick sort of satisfaction.... he liked it. the adrenaline, the killing, the revenge, the success. all of it made the life addicting as opium. not only did he stick around for him family, but for selfish reasons. if he had to choose between his dancing career, and his steadily rising infamy within the mob, he would choose the latter without a second consideration. it was the foundation of his life, and as sorry as he was to admit that, it would never change. he would never change.

his broken reverie faded out the window and into the dark night sky when he focused back on carly's words. he hoped he hadn't missed anything she said. at least he could pass it off as being dog tired, though he wasn't quite ready to crash yet, "love," he met her eyes, for only a fleeting seconds before chuckling and stroking lily's hair, "it looks a lot worse than falling dominos," his tone was sympathetic, sweet. hearing the genuine key of her voice got his attention, and he gave her a small smile, "this must be hell for you," good ole flynn, always had the most profound, philosophical comments to make, "but on the bright side, a lot of stuff is goin' on, i hear, to fix this ole town up, eh?" lily responded to his question chirpily, and he ruffled her hair and hugged her, "you're gettin' so smart, lil' lass, before ya know it you're gunna be the president, and a good one as well if yee really know your star wars." he grinned slyly, she really was brilliant. watching lily was like watching his own child grow up. it was a wear, but surprisingly pride-inducing feeling. "and how's sam? i hear he's in town." he said, redirecting his gaze to carly. he knew they'd been spending quite a lot of time together in new york, but things were different here in valkyrie, and he'd been out of the loop for a while now.
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status•finished.
tagged• flarly? farly? carynn? dude, i dunno.
comments• soooooooo late.
attire• same as banner -lazy-
credits•format inspired by vsiders. banner goes to ruby.

[caroline isabelle sutton]

VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, INFERNO HOTEL AND CASINO, EVENING, JANUARY 2012

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-----there had been a lot of people to come and go in carly's life. there had been friends and enemies, whole flocks of people from high school, the people she met through american dance, etc. but no one meant nearly as much to her as the people who had remained in her life or had long been a part of it. carly wasn't used to relying on people and she'd come to valkyrie originally with absolutely no one in her corner outside of her family members. she'd come burdened with all of these walls built up in an attempt to keep people out as well as a lot of issues. after keizer she'd really wanted nothing to do with anyone else but of course things couldn't remain that way or more so that they could have remained that way but didn't. it was hard to go from a town like keizer to thing place, or any other, and not fall in love. the surf, the sand, the people...sure the people in valkyrie probably weren't ant different from people in some other town out there but it was likely that had she landed in any other place, in any other town, she would have loved it there as well. still these people, certain people even, had eaten away at the monstrous walls that carly had put up from her past and she'd found she needed them. in the end carly considered herself fortunate to have ended up here instead of anywhere else. sure there may have been nice people in some other town, but no one compared to the people she now knew.

-----the hardest part had been to make all these new friends, graduate with them, and watch them scatter to the wind as they went about their different paths to life. carly couldn't complain too much because she'd done the very same thing at the very same time as other people. after high school a lot of her friends went to all kinds of different college, some because it was their only option and some because they needed to get away from valkyrie as much as she'd needed to get away from keizer. carly wasn't an idiot. she knew that to some kinds valkyrie was their keizer where all they wanted was that golden ticket to some freedom that lay beyond the familiar city boundaries they knew all too well. sometimes all you needed was a change of scenery to feel like there could be some semblance of right in the world. that had surely worked for her. carly couldn't remember a time being happy until she'd gotten out of keizer, gotten away from all the bad memories, and dipped her toes into a whole new world. sure new york had been amazing and had jumped started her career, but that was just a different kind of happy. it was true too what they say, that new york was one of the most fast-paced cities in all the world. it was so hard to live there after acclimating to such a slower, more relaxed way of living. it would have been especially hard had it not been for american dance and the two-month long celebrity boot camp the competition had thrown her into. it would have been harder still had she not had friends she could count on to help her along.

-----sam and flynn had been especially helpful to her during that time, especially with lily, and their involvement meant more to carly than she could put into words. it meant more than any job or any dance competition. after all fame and fortune was nice but it was nothing if it didn't come with a few friends and some kind of meaningful life lesson. it had jump started her career and really given her a platform to do what she loved for the rest of her life but if it had left her stranded and alone, carly would have given it up just that quick. people couldn't say that carly wasn't a mature individual. she went into that competition knowing that if it was going to ruin her relationship with her friends and family, and if it jeopardized her time with lily, that it was something that would quickly go on the back burner. no amount of money and success was worth losing her relationship with her daughter. carly had never seen what it had done to her family after her grandfather died and left all of his kids to flounder on their own, but she'd seen how much damage it could do to families both in keizer and in valkyrie. she knew that having a child and being responsible for that child was worth more than anything else in the world and she was willing to give up everything for that. she was willing to give up dancing and her tours and willing to give up the life she now had if it meant she would be closer to lily. that little girl really was the light of her life and she loved that so many other people seemed to accept that about her.

-----take flynn for example. he knew just as well as anyone else what lily meant to carly because lily had weaseled her way into flynn's heart as well. that was the one thing that carly had never anticipated. she'd never imagined that this life would have rubbed off on lily in the slightest or that she would have found so many people to appreciate who in turn appreciated her. lily had more father figures in her life than anyone carly knew and she learned something different from each of them but the one thing carly'd never been prepared for was lily falling in love with all these different people. it just made her so happy to see that lily could get along with so many of her friends and that she could love them just like family. hell, she even called sam her father. that had to mean something right? "i'm glad she's feeling better."

[/b] carly said as she caught on to flynn's seemingly perturbed tone. many he was just being nice about her condition or whatever it was that had flynn flying off to ireland every so often. poor woman. but it wasn't her place to keep pressing for information so she didn't. instead she just sat beside flynn and enjoyed her friend's closeness once again. lily certainly had. this was like old times all over again. all of her best buds were back in her life and she was ecstatic. "oh don't you worry about the time. you know we're happy to see you whenever. this just means she'll be napping earlier tomorrow. no biggie."[/b] she swatted his arm and gave him a 'don't be silly' kind of look. "oh shut up. you know you're sleeping here tonight so don't even say that."[/b]

-----worse than dominos...yeah she knew it was true. she really was just trying to come to terms with what had happened to her home. no one knew just how much this place meant to her, mostly because she didn't openly voice her feelings all the time or to the depths she usually felt it. "yeah i know."[/b] she shrugged her shoulders. "i'll be fine, but yeah they're making all kinds of efforts to put this place back together again. all kinds of relief efforts and whatnot. it'll be good to see this place back to it's normal luster. that, and it'll be good to see my parent's place back in one piece."[/b] she said with a shake of her head as she heaved a sigh. she didn't want to relive the horror she'd felt when she'd seen houses in her parent's neighborhood on the t.v. as she'd watched back in new york. all she cared about was that her family was safe and they were getting their life back one way or another. she looked over at flynn as he changed the subject, smirking as he of course brought up sam. "he's good. we ran into him a few days ago. shocked the pants right off of me. i didn't know that we'd be seeing him again, least of all to be seeing him so soon."[/b] she shook her head. if only flynn knew about everything that had been happening. hell if he did know then he'd be pushing her more than ever to look for something with sam. it wasn't every day you met and started to like a member of the russian mob.

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status • finished
words • 1433.
tagged • carynn !
clothes • clicky !
notes • --.

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