. on the edge of your seat

[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d100/lilpuppyluver2003/bg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;] hi » THERE’S A PLACE FOR US. she'd been feeling like crap for far too long now. honestly the endless nausea and fear that if she didn't stay at the loft and near a bathroom she knew was closest, she would have nowhere else to puke should the need arise. this was beyond exhausting. there were times when there was absolutely no problem. it was like dr. jekyll and mister hyde stomach syndrome she had going on here. one moment she was walking around the apartment scarfing down absolutely everything she could get her hands on because she was starving and her stomach was this black hole that had been left barren by these waves of nausea and other times she was praying to porcelain gods just to save her from her misery. it didn't make sense. none of it made sense. she wished there was some way to just ask her body what was wrong so she could remedy it and be done with it. with that in mind maggie had called her doctor, keeping the woman on the phone as she described her symptoms and asked what the different possibilities could be. the options were few and far between but only one thing really stood out after a series of questions. jesus it wasn't like she hadn't seen enough of "doctors" lately. that therapy session with luca and dr. banks had been the worst by far and it was only the first go-round. she couldn't imagine the other things that were going to come to light in new sessions and quite frankly she didn't want to know. she just wanted it to be over so she could go back to living her life, preferably with her husband in it. maggie had listened to the options brought about by her doctor, shrugging off some as impossible and others as slightly more so. "that's an option?"

[/b] she asked into the phone, her knuckles clenching at the possibility. "well when was the last time you..." the voice trailed off on the other end of the phone not because the woman had stopped speaking, but maggie had stopped listening.

she hung up the phone and walked to her purse, digging out the little pocket calendar she had and counting the days. "oh boy."[/b] yeah slowly but surely the pieces were coming together. so she was forced to send her most trusted man out for a supply run. you know the kind of guy who had been by her side since she was in tijuana and had brought him over to the states specifically because she trusted him and didn't want anyone else knowing about all of this? one of those. it had taken him maybe about five minutes before he was back with what she'd asked for, the acursed hunk of plastic seated in a sealed box that would determine if her new hunch was correct. the man was quiet as she nodded to him, turned and left. god she loved people like that. god only knows that if she'd asked a friend or relative to do it they would have stuck around with curious gazes. hell some of them would have been bold enough to join her in the bathroom.

"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!"[/b] maggie screamed as she threw down the little piece of plastic, her whole world coming in and out of focus all at once as she walked out of the bathroom some five minutes after entering it. never in a million years had she thought she'd seen a positive. never in a million years did she ever think this would be happening to her. never in a million years did she expect herself to be...happy about this. yes happy was the first word that came to mind out of this surprising situation. now everything made sense. not to say that maggie wasn't happy about this. she was. she just...this just...it was the last thing on her mind with all that had happened recently. she felt like an idiot for it too. it had been what? like two and a half months since her last? and she hadn't realized that there was a demanding issue that she hadn't come across since like december? well she certainly felt stupid.

she knew what she had to do right now. there was only one person she could think of that she wanted to tell first and she just couldn't go on another day without letting him know. she walked back into the bathroom and hopped in the shower for a quick once-over. once that was done she dressed, pulled her hair back in a messy bun, and grabbed her keys. he'd be at the inferno if nothing else right? if she didn't find him there then maybe he was at the mansion but she would try first at the hotel. if anything she'd give him a call but she wanted to do this on her own first. being that she lived in the downtown area getting to the hotel was a snap. if she was a patient person she could have walked basically. she pulled into the hotel parking lot and walked inside. no sane person who had had a russian hit on his head would have used his real name, maggie knew that luca knew this. she walked up to the desk and asked for the room of said alias, happy when she got it right on the first go.

maggie headed to the elevator to the floor the girl in the lobby had told her and stepped off, searching out the room with a knock. her heart drummed in her chest as she heard a rustling behind the door, moreso when it opened and her husband stood before her. "can i come in?"[/b] maggie said past the lump in her throat as the door opened wider. she stepped inside, looking around at the place luca had been staying. it was nice...there were clothes all over the place which luca was now rushing to pick up. she sat down on the bed as luca tossed a pile of dirty clothes onto a chair and sat beside her. "i...um, i have some news."[/b] maggie said as she looked over at luca who looked both worried and skeptical. maggie took his hands, unsure of really how to say this. her thumb smoothed over the surface of his hands, her eyes following the movement for a moment before she heaved a sigh. better to be out with it right? "luca..."[/b] jesus why did this have to be harder than it seemed? oh right, because it was just now hitting her that she didn't know what she would do if luca didn't like what she had to tell him...well there was no going back now, "i'm pregnant."[/b] [/div]

1,124, outfit, TAG: LAGGIE.

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THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION.

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[luca angelo giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #1c1c2f solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] THIS IS THE LAST NIGHT YOU'LL SPEND ALONE LOOK ME IN THE EYES SO I KNOW YOU KNOW The Lyrics: 'last night' skillet The Outfit: here Tagged maggieThe Notes ahhh so excited --- IT WAS ALMOST SAD. sad that this hotel room had been his home. it was like he went from one shit hole to another shit hole. well, in actuality, the hotel room was much more nicer, and furnished better, not to mention he had room service. well, not for awhile, clearly because it didn't look like his place had been clean in weeks. clothes were scattered all across the floor, books and pizza boxes were stacked against the walls. the only redeeming factor of the entire room was that his view was better than his last. back in boston he had a shit view for a shit room. literally it was a view of a brick wall of the shady motel next to him. at night, his room would flash red from the neon sign of the motel's. here? the only lights he saw were several hundred feet below him. it was the city's lights from the nightlife below. sometimes he'd look down at the sidewalks below and watch people, or little dots, enjoying the night. he'd see cars past, and music. not even an earthquake could bring down every spirit in valkyrie. nice to know. so this view was great, but it was nothing compared to the view he had at the loft. the view being maggie. in boston, he woke up to nothing. in this hotel room, he still woke up to nothing. at least when he was living at the loft with maggie he woke up to well, her. he wanted to move back in with maggie. he wanted to go home. they were taking things slow, but half of him wanted to say screw it. how long was he going to wait here? how long was he going to be wasting his time here as they lived separately and barely saw each other, he hadn't been to the loft since she kicked him out. luca didn't quite know how he was sitting by and letting this happen. he had never been like this before. he was just sitting on the sidelines watching his life go on without him. he was sad and depressing, and quite frankly, it sucked. he had come around to his family though. finally showed his face, took the wrath that came with one, not coming sooner, and two, leaving maggie in the first place. it was just going to be something no one understood, so luca had stopped trying to explain anything. the good thing was that he was back to work. luckily, maggie and luca headed different branches, so their work paths rarely ever passed. this was the only good thing that had come out of coming back, working for the giovannis again. back in boston, he was working under someone else. at least here he had rank again, he was doing what he liked doing. he was dealing out orders, telling different people to collect bets from other people. most nights he was overseeing the underground casino the giovannis had going, making sure everything was running smoothly and turning away people and kicking other out that were causing scenes. he was back at ease again. he could easily relax when he heard the dice rolling at the craps table. the way the cards shuffled at the blackjack tables was music to his years. and the cheers coming from people who watched the horse races got his heart racing. when he finally headed back to the hotel, he often passed the m lounge and often saw maggie's car still there. luca had resisted entering the lounge so many times. the sad thing was, he wouldn't of known what to say. go in and say 'hey?' he couldn't go back to her office because of what happened the last time he was there. and looked how stellar that turned out. today, he was sitting in one of the chairs, cnn was on tv as he was going through client lists, the money books, and stats of the past week from the gambling ring. then, he heard a knock at the door and he paused for a moment. he never had visitors. no one knew his room number because he never told anyone. he turned the tv off and grabbed his gun from the night side table. he knew it was risky staying here, at the inferno, which had been overrunned by the russians, but he didn't check in as luca. he wasn't stupid. with his gun at his side and the safety off, he crept to the door and looked through peephole. on the other side was maggie. ah... shit. luca ran a hand through his hair and looked around the messy messy room. he put the safety back on the gun and put it on the counter. he opened the door. "maggie..." he said and she asked if she could come in. "uh yeah, of course." jesus could they sound like anymore strangers than they did right now? he moved aside as she stepped in, shutting the door behind them. he saw her looking around and he starting picking up clothes and throwing them into one pile. "i... wasn't expecting company," he added. why... was she here? the next time he saw her he thought for sure it would be him coming to find her. not the other way around. she sat down on the bed and luca shortly joined her and she said, "i...um, i have some news." it was all in her tone. he started to feel a little worried. he didn't know what news this could be. it didn't sound good though. he watched as she took his hands in hers. he watched as she smoothed her thumb over his. yeah, this did not seem good at all. they both looked at each other and she said his name. "maggie..." he said back to her. what the hell was going on? "i'm pregnant." he heard the words being said, he saw her lips moving and say them, but it was like it didn't register in his mind. he swore he didn't just hear her say that she was pregnant, especially since their marriage was barely hanging on by a thread. he got up, his hands sliding through hers. he turned to say something, but nothing came out, so he just sat down next to her again. he continued to open his mouth several times, but again, no words were forming and nothing was coming out. he turned to look at her and starting grinning. "you are?" his eyes fell down to her stomach though he knew he wasn't going to see like some huge bump already. luca touched her cheek with his hand and didn't hesitate in kissing her. he whispered, "you're pregnant," against her lips and kissed her again. he rubbed her cheek as he moved back a bit. "it's mine, right?" he asked her, more in a joking way, but for a couple that was recently suspicious of the other one's fidelity, probably not the best choice of words. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d100/lilpuppyluver2003/bg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;] hi » THERE’S A PLACE FOR US. this whole moment was terrifying. damn it it felt like something out of maggie's past. the way her heart beat at the moment. the way her hands begged to clam up. the way sound seemed to just buzz in her ears. they were all the major signs maggie tended to have when she got really nervous and that didn't happy all too often. there were only two real times when maggie was truly terrified next to today. the first was the day she had been kidnapped and had been forced to endure all of the hate that had built up over the years for her father. that was a fucking mess in itself. that day hadn't started out so grand and it had ended equally wonderfully. she'd started out steamed from the night before and furious that luca had once again played the drama queen role and stomped out of that hotel room in a total whirlwind. it was classic of luca to take things the wrong way, like maggie pulling away, and turn it into some big show. when he'd walked out, honestly maggie thought she might have been hitching it back to valkyrie but lo and behold he'd left her the car. that stupid car. if it wasn't for that car and her lead foot maggie wouldn't have gotten back to valkyrie in time to run into london, the little bitch who had been hell bent on getting luca back when maggie and he had been nothing more than partners. she hadn't liked the woman from the get go with her snide remarks and her pathetic desire to come running whenever luca called. seeing her there that day had really been the catalyst. it had been one thing too many in a cup that had already been too ful to begin with. but the scariest part about that day had been the drugs. the kidnapping, as sick as it sounded, was a bit of a rush. maggie had never had to fight before and had there been one less man in jose castillo's little posse maggie would have been able to take them. had she not had four guys to hold her as they struggled to get her to the car, damn it she would have whooped all of their asses and she would have shown absolutely everyone that no one fucks with maggie corinthos. she couldn't count the car ride as a terrifying moment because she'd been unconscious during it but the moment she'd woken up in that shack. that pitiful shamshakle heap of rotting wood. it was pathetic the kind of places bad things happened in. where were the ritzy hotels and all that. where were the diamond encrusted parties where a patron simply fell down and people assumed it was from the booze when in all actuality it was from a silenced sniper shot some few skyscrapers away. those were the good ones. those were the luxurious kinds of deaths, the quick ones. those were the kind of deaths that hollywood liked to dream up and glamorize for the sake of the box office. they didn't like to take into account the reality of underground dealings. there was no glamour in a woman strapped down as her enemies pumped her full of the very filth she sold for the sake of her family. maybe that was too low brow for hollywood. it wasn't low brow enough to have been maggie's fate. the drugs alone had been all it had taken to strike her heart cold with fear. if there was one thing maggie never, ever had wanted a part of it was drugs. she could sell it. she could ship it, hell she could even deal it when the need arose but damn if she ever touched the stuff. you couldn't pay her to get anywhere near the very product she sold. that stuff fucked you up. maggie had seen it do terrible things to powerful people. drugs could turn the strongest person you knew into a sniveling, bloody nosed whelp in a matter of months or even weeks. it was nothing glamorous and the only reason maggie still even had a part in the whole trade was because it was all she knew. now, you want something absolutely terrifying? try walking down the aisle. that was the scariest and most spontaneous moment of maggie's life for sure. she'd been nervous from the moment the whole day started. it hadn't been her choice. none of this had been her choice to do. she'd been partnered with luca from the get go and this had been the overall destination they'd been aimed at. the point had been to marry and join families. that part wasn't hard. the fact that there were real emotions here made it all the easier to do. it was the moment that luca parted the tent flaps to tell her the real truth that the nervousness set in. it was the moment fausto's confession came out of his mouth and the moment he told her he really wanted to marry her that the real nerves kicked in. would she actually go through with it and marry him for real? no family promises or anything to uphold? just simple and honest feelings for one another? something like that was hard to grasp. this moment ranked right up there with the kidnapping and the wedding in the top three scariest moments of her life. her nerves didn't quiet as luca took a minute to process, even going to the lengths of standing up, trying to speak, and sitting back down. well jesus was she going to be the only one who was happy about this? finally that smile registered in her mind and it was real, not just some fantasy she'd imagined. the moment he touched her cheek maggie sighed. she hadn't even known she had been holding her breath. a huge smile lit her face and she felt the stinging sensation of her tear glands begging to start up. she kissed him back all smiles until she heard him speak again. then her world fell apart. maggie sucked in a breath on a gasp, pulling back from him, real tears actually falling down her cheeks now. "you're a real son of a bitch!"

[/b] she screamed as she stood up from the bed, her hands wringing in her hair as a string of fast paced foreign curse words left her lips. she turned away from him. that bastard. that sick fucking bastard. she turned and she headed toward the door, more like bolted. she couldn't stand to stay in the room with him another fucking minute. [/div]

1,112, outfit, TAG: LAGGIE.

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[luca angelo giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #1c1c2f solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] THIS IS THE LAST NIGHT YOU'LL SPEND ALONE LOOK ME IN THE EYES SO I KNOW YOU KNOW The Lyrics: 'last night' skillet The Outfit: here Tagged maggieThe Notes ahhh so excited --- THE FACT THAT MAGGIE SAID SHE WAS PREGNANT, was finally setting in. like a bed sheet that took forever to fall onto the bed, that was the feeling luca had right now. he was still completely shocked by the news that he knew he said something he probably shouldn't have. though he wasn't about to add on to the comment he made with, "well, you think i cheated, how do i know if someone else knocked you up and you're just saying it's me?" he saw the expression in maggie's face change when he asked if it was indeed his and knew instantly he really did make a mistake. but... how did this happen? well, he knew how it actually happened. luca was wondering why this had just fallen into their laps. they were barely on speaking terms with each other and now it was 'haha! be parents now.' luca internally shuddered at the work 'parents.' to be completely honest, kids never really crossed his mind since he had come back, but since it was all up in the air if they were ever truly going to get back together, why think about future hapiness when it might not even happen? maggie pregnant pretty much blindsided him. even when they were on good terms, the topic of kids never really came up in the conversation. maybe because she was only nineteen when he went away, he didn't really want to pressure her in any way about anything like that. they had been still getting to know each other anyway. and luca was the only one in his family that had a logical gene in which having a kid at nineteen would be too young. in america, everything was different than the culture of the italians in naples. the fact that he was so concerned towards maggie proved that back then, kids did cross his mind. marrying maggie made him want to have a family. he wanted a family of his own. he wanted that intermediate family feel that fausto had with his wife and kids. luca knew that all the giovannis were an extremely tight-knit family unit, but there is your family, and then there is your family. see what i mean? there is still a difference. he had rocco, who was his buddy since forever, but it would be different having kids that were his. shared half of his genes, shared half of his genes. but that was then and this was now, and now he felt like those teen moms. a teen mom at twenty-six. it would be different if they were still completely together at the pregnancy was an unexpected announcement. but basically their 'welcome home hate sex' made a baby? what the flying fuck was that messed up shit about? on top of all this cramming into his head, maggie started crying from what he said. and then the wrath came, "you're a real son of a bitch!" int he past three months he had never seen maggie cry so much. and he knew the reasons behind every since one had to be him. she got up off the bed and luca reached for her wrists and missed. then, luca realized she was headed to the door. "i didn't mean it like that, maggie," he said and got up. he was pissed at himself for making her cry, but he was pissed at her for just getting up and leaving. yeah, well, luca wasn't going to let that happen. she just wasn't going to be able to just leave. come and go as she pleased? no. drop a bombshell on him like this and just walk out? no. he knew he choice of words weren't the best to use, but everything thing he said wrong wasn't going to be her excuse anymore to leave or kick him out. she was in his area now, he would be kicking her out if he wanted to. right as she turned the doorknob and opened it like she was leaving, luca came up right behind her and pushed the door back shut with his hand. "you're not leaving," he told her and slipped himself in between her and the door as a barricade for her not being able to get through. "you're going to sit back down and we're going to talk about this. even if i have to handcuff you to the bed, and you better believe i will. and not in the fun way," he told her, looking absolutely dead serious. luca wasn't going to let maggie walk all over him like he had been letting her the past three months. after the first night he came back and she kicked him out after they had sex. the following day she kicked him out of her office again for having sex. do we even need to go down the road of the night of the poker party? when it all came down to it, luca wasn't going to let her push aside her 'not wanting to deal with it right now' syndrome and deal with it now. "don't cry, ok? let's just talk," he said trying to comfort her. he put his hands on her shoulders, turned her around and led her back to where they were sitting on the edge of the bed. "i'm sorry for what i said. i guess i just was caught off guard... i guess i didn't really think about this... when we...i thought you were on a pill or something. i'm sorry." created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d100/lilpuppyluver2003/bg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;] hi » THERE’S A PLACE FOR US. this wasn't something maggie had anticipated either. she'd always known she was capable of taking care of another human life but as far as bringing one into the world she was totally and completely out of her element. she was totally off guard but nothing scared her more than the flash realization that she would be doing this alone. because from the moment luca had spoken up that was all she could imagine her life being. maggie didn't know what to do. in a matter of microseconds this new life had already flashed before her eyes. she could already see herself running around the houze, looking frazzled as she tried to juggle being a single mother and taking care of a house and being everything that her mother never had been to her. that was all she could see. she could see some kind of separation where luca would come by in the very tense moments of transfer and take the child for a few days if he was even involved at all. she could see herself struggling to support the child because in this flashed look into the future she couldn't imagine the giovannis wanting anything to do with her. all she could see within these few seconds before luca had even realized anything was wrong was her life falling apart around her. no job, raising a kid on her own. she saw herself helpless again and that was scary as hell but nothing hurt as much as luca's question. because in those short three words luca had said everything he'd probably wanted to accuse her of but had never gotten the chance to say. in those short three words luca had accused her of cheating and being a lying hypocritical whore all at once. that was no where near as bad as the dig she now saw toward her child. because she knew without a doubt that this child was luca's. she knew without a doubt that it was his because the whole reason this had even happened was because she wasn't on birth control. the whole reason why she wasn't on birth control was because she wasn't having sex with anybody so it seemed damn pointless to take. but now another instinct was beginning to kick in. all of a sudden it clicked in maggie's head that this was not only and attack on her morals and her past, but this was a shot at her child. maggie never knew herself capable of a mother's instinct but she suddenly felt the need to get far the fuck away from someone who jeopardized her baby. nothing she did would be just for her anymore. nothing about the consequences would only effect her anymore. there was someone else she needed to think about here and right now that person needed to be defended. in order to do so maggie needed to get the fuck out of that hotel room. luca would never intentionally hurt her, this maggie knew, but the flight response wasn't just her method of avoidance now. it wasn't just her trying to get away for the sake of not having to deal with an ugly truth if it were even there. maggie would admit that she'd kicked luca out both times out of sheer anger. she'd been pissed upon his first arrival back to valkyrie because she'd felt like luca had assumed sex would fix everything and after 4 years of a broken heart she was not giving in that easily. she'd been mad at herself for falling pray to his promising words. a few i love yous and she'd been putty in his hands when all she'd wanted was for him to feel some kind of remorse for the time he'd spent away. instead he'd come back, ducked a gun and a few punches, and gotten what he'd wanted. she'd see the smug smirk. he'd thought he had it made that night. wrong. just like now. she could not for the life of her fathom where the hell this new anger was coming from. he was calling her the cheating whore and now he was getting mad at her for being fucking mad? what the hell? "you're seriously gonna get mad at me right now!?"

[/b] she growled at him half in amazement. where the hell did he get off being made at her? it was hard to not slug him, especially with him not a mere few inches away from her. she felt that overwhelming panic as he barred her only exit from the room. not to mention the fact that he shad effortlessly caged her in. all she wanted was to get the hell out of that hotel room. luca didn't deserve to see the tears he'd caused. he didn't deserve to see the effect he still had on her and yet it was impossible for her to now get away and hide her weaknesses. she hated looking weak in front of anyone but she especially hated looking weak in front of the one person who had ever seen her at her lowest. she was supposed to trust luca and she was supposed to be able to feel open and vulnerable around him but maggie just wasn't sure she could let that happen. she'd never gotten the chance to be that way with luca before their marriage went to hell and now she had to break down in front of him with absolutely no escape? it wasn't fair.

she stared at the door in front of her as luca made his demands, defiant and silent even then as the tears streamed down her face. had it not been for the tears one would have assumed that maggie felt absolutely nothing but of course the tears had to give the real truth away. she strained against him momentarily as he tried to maneuver her but it was apparent that she wasn't going to be leaving unless luca was fucking appeased so there really was no point in fighting him right? not unless she wanted to just waylay his ass, knock him out cold, and run for the door before he woke up. honestly, maggie didn't want to even go through the trouble because she wouldn't hear the end of it. she sat down in the now cursed spot where all she could see was the past few seconds replaying over and over again in her mind. she popped to her feet the moment he finished speaking, her arms wrapping around her body as she turned her back to him. "i wasn't on the pill because i haven't had sex with anyone in four years. after that long there's pretty much no point of being on the pill."[/b] she practically seethed in her skin as luca made some lame ass attempt at an apology, wheeling around to face him and blast her with the remainder of her anger, "you just called me a cheating whore and doubted the paternity of your child at the same time. i would hope you were a little more than sorry god damn it."[/b] she said through gritted teeth, angrily swiping at her cheek as another telling tear rolled it's way into his line of sight. [/div]

1,205, outfit, TAG: LAGGIE.

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[luca angelo giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #1c1c2f solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] THIS IS THE LAST NIGHT YOU'LL SPEND ALONE LOOK ME IN THE EYES SO I KNOW YOU KNOW The Lyrics: 'last night' skillet The Outfit: here Tagged maggieThe Notes i blame the luca movie for a fast reply. --- "I WON'T GET MAD IF YOU DON'T GET MAD. SOUND GOOD?" he told her when she asked him. luca found this was going to be extremely hard for them since they had been mad at each other since poker night, hell, before then. luca could hear doctor banks' words of mother fucking wisdom in his right ear, but none of it was translating right in luca's head. it was all mushed up and luca only wanted to handle it the way he was used to. which was what got them into counseling in the first place, but could you blame him? it was simply just what he knew. he knew she wasn't liking the idea of her staying here in the hotel room. he could feel it when he put his hands on her shoulders. basically, he wasn't letting her leave. like some sketch abductor, if she tried to leave, he would pull her back in. if she even got to the elevator, he'd drag her back in. he just didn't know why she thought she had the authority to come here, tell him she was pregnant and then go 'ok, peace out.' yeah, it didn't work like that with him. especially with something like this. if he hadn't said the words, where would they be right now? still on the bed talking? or in bed, not doing much talking. these days... it was just hard to tell anymore. and luca was trying to find deep within himself the emotion to celebrate, but at this point, what was the fucking point? luca was having a real hard time seeing it. right now, they were only together by law. everything else, emotionally and physically, they were bound by nothing at this point. so, she was pregnant, what did that mean for them? what was his place in maggie's life, now? was he still going to be staying in the hotel? was she going to stay at the loft and lock herself up? with the news of a baby on the way, it was bringing up questions luca had been wondering the past couple weeks. he thought that right now he was making this big effort. he was making her stay, he knew they should talk, and they needed to talk. so she should just cool her jets, hear him out, and expect not to leave anytime soon. right when he finished, maggie popped up,a nd he thought she was going to leave again, he readied himself to step in between her and the door again, but she stood there, back facing him and told him that she wasn't on the pill anymore because she hadn't had any use for it in the past four years. he looked down at the floor. the thing was, he really did believe her. but all this accusing on him got him pissed and angry and could only wonder about her, too. he was human, kill him for it. he knew asking if it was his was a big mistake, but he wanted to know. sure, he meant it jokingly, but there was still that fifteen percent of him that wondered deep down, 'is it mine?' clearly, he wasn't going to ask maggie about that one ever again. but then, she turned on him and was facing him again, yelling at him for calling her a whore, doubting the paternity, and this that and the other. luca remained at the end of the bed, elbows positioned on his knees, his fingers interlacing. she was making him uncomfortable because he hated seeing her cry. it was the fact that he could visually see she was upset. he wasn't one of those guys that had to get out of the room when girls starts crying. but maggie was still his wife. they still wore their wedding rings. he rarely ever saw her cry, and when she did, he was there to comfort her. but now... it was weird because he was the reason she was crying right now. it made him feel really shitty. but he was trying to say what he was feeling, but it was so hard for him to find the words that matched his emotions. somehow, they almost never measured up to par. "i didn't call you a cheating whore. i just don't know how it happened. i mean, i do know how it happened, clearly, but it's just... surprisingly that it just... happened like this." he looked up at maggie, who was still hovering over him. "i don't doubt that it's mine. i don't," he told her and brought a hand up to his hairline and ran through it for a couple times. "i'm just confused, trying to figure things out. clearly things are different now since we're barely together," he said and locked eyes with maggie at the last bit, holding her eyes as he stood up, standing taller and now, standing over her. "but i have to wonder, maggie, where the hell does this leave us?" he shook his head and turned away from her. "because right now, there's a me and there's a you, but i fail to see the us." luca started pace the room. he was trying to keep his ton at bay and not getting into the red zone. he just wished the situation would be different. that this pregnancy was told to him one morning as they were laying in bed, or eating breakfast, or even maggie finding him while he was at the casino to tell him, because she couldn't contain him. he would have picked her up, swung her around, and kissed her until they couldn't anymore. instead, maggie came to his temporary living arrangement because he wasn't invited back to the loft. luca's first woulds to her were asking if it was his. next time. maybe next time could be different. yeah... if there would ever be a next time, which was looking less and less likely. "because i have kept telling you since january, all i want is you. and now..." he stopped his nervous pace and stopped to face her. "now i want both of you. i'm seriously, maggie." luca knew that she might not even be buying this right now. he knew that she could still throw the desk lamp at him. he knew a lot of things, but he still didn't know what she was actually thinking. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d100/lilpuppyluver2003/bg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;] hi » THERE’S A PLACE FOR US. it was hard to not get mad when a person felt like there was some unjustified wrong going on around them. this was the case for maggie. in her mind there was absolutely nothing holding her back from being mad when she was called a liar, a cheat, and a whore. some women just kind of took offense to implications like that. the fact that luca said it in the first place was bad enough but to get mad at her when she got angry at the words he's said? like she had no justification whatsoever to being mad? it was all just one big mess that maggie honestly didn't have the nerves for right now. none of this felt right. being mad at him, being angry at this whole situation, not celebrating the fact that she was now going to have a child, or hell the fact that she'd been sleeping in a bed alone for nearly the past four years and that this kind of situation hadn't come sooner! because it was true. at the rate maggie and luca had been going during their honeymoon this should have been the end scenario a long time ago. if they had been together for the past few years it was likely that there already would have been a child in the mix because if he'd never left then they never would have had the past as a springboard for all the problems they were having now. it wasn't fair to put all the blame on luca, but it sure was easier. it was so much easier to say that life would have been better if only this had happened or that they wouldn't have argued if he'd never left. in all honesty that wasn't the case. sure luca had left her alone for years and chosen to stay away after he'd been given the all clear which it was well apparent now that it had been a bad idea because it lead to more time apart and really just intensified maggie's suspicions that something had happened that no one was coping to. it was easier to say that she wouldn't have had to spend nights alone in the m lounge drowning herself in the business end of things because life was too hard to deal with but that wasn't the case. it was possible that had the hit never happened that they would have fought and something else would have given them the problems they were currently having. there were a whole lot of other ways that their lives could have intertwined over the last few years but in the end they were left with what had actually happened. no amount of what ifs would make their current situation right. there was no changing the past and what they really needed to do as a couple with a little more of a necessity behind making it work was to set aside the many possibilities that remained in fantasyland and focus on what was happening now. maggie wanted to do that and she was trying to do that but it was really hard to do when all you could feel when you looked at the man you loved was blind hatred and a need to defend yourself. everyone knew that wasn't something you were supposed to feel in a working relationship. everyone knew that it was something you needed to get past but maggie couldn't seem to do it. she couldn't really, truly get past it because luca seemed so damn stubborn in being right. maggie had a right to be angry when her husband accused her of having sex with someone else and creating a child through that infidelity. she had a right to leave a damn hotel room when she felt threatened and needed her space but then again this was luca's world and we were all just living in it right? it seemed to luca like maggie wasn't right unless she was feeling the emotions he wanted her to feel and he needed to realize that that wasn't going to happen. she was a free thinking individual with a paranoid, skeptical mind and she had a tenancy to believe the worst in people because she was raised to always have to defend herself against people who were supposed to protect her. didn't he realize this? he loved her, he'd married her, and yet he seemed to forget at just about every turn that she wasn't some normal run of the mill woman here. she had long ago been damaged, long before he'd had to swoop in and save her life. he didn't seem to recognize that maggie had problems with trust and that just the fact that he was labeled her husband didn't mean that she automatically had the utmost faith in him. that might have been the case when they'd first gotten married but it had dissipated with time and distance and endless loneliness and at this rate it wasn't going to be coming back in the time frame luca seemed to prefer. she hated to say it, but it was like he'd never accepted that piece of her as being there at all. luca didn't seem to understand that everything he'd done since leaving her and wrenched open a hole to her insecurities that she'd had securely stitched shut since she'd learned to defend herself against her father. he didn't seem to realize that he was doing the same thing to her that juan corinthos had done to her all her life, only that he was doing it unintentionally. that his every grating and misconstrued word was like a blade to a heart and a flashback to a time when she'd felt beyond worthless. it worsened the more she watched him pace back and forth with his indecision. what in the hell did he have to debate. he sounded like he'd wanted nothing more to do with this whole situation. like he had to talk himself into wanting her now that something, someone, else was involved. "you haven't seen me in years."

[/b] maggie said to him under her breath, not talking in the literal sense. it was how she felt and no one could tell her that that was wrong. right now she didn't feel loved. right now she felt guilty and jaded. right now she felt hated and she felt like a burden. it was one thing to say it and actually mean it but maggie had yet to hear any sincerety in his words and it was likely she wasn't going to be hearing it any time soon.

she tried not to watch him as he paced. it hurt to much. to see his mind working and weighing the options to what she construed as being his attempts at talking himself into sticking it out in their relationship. she was just exhausted. she was so sick and tired of everything. of feeling like she was looking for some kind of effort from him without success. he'd gone to the therapy out of obedience to fausto. he hadn't wanted to be there. if fausto demanded he stay for the baby would luca stick to a marriage that would become dull and loveless? would he only stay out of obligation? the thought of that very reaction coming from him was like feeling an invisible hand clamping down on her throat and choking the life out of her. maggie had lost herself to a haze of disbelief. she couldn't see how luca would want anything to do with her except for that baby now. anything he said or did felt like it was all out of obligation and she'd yet to see otherwise.

she looked up as he faced her, red rimmed eyes still fighting off tears as he stared her down, his weighty words on his lips. the saddest part was that she didn't believe him. she didn't believe that he was in it for them, maggie and luca, anymore. all she could feel was the obligation. it screamed at her like a demon on her shoulder or a weight on her back. maggie shook her head as he spoke, her head falling into her hands. "i can't see it."[/b] she said with a shaky voice as she lifted her head, her hands pushing aside tears and stray hairs as she locked eyes with him. "i just can't see it luca. i can't see that that is what you want."[/b] there. all the ammunition he needed to get mad at her again. ripe for the taking. [/div]

1,430, outfit, TAG: LAGGIE.

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[luca angelo giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #1c1c2f solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] THIS IS THE LAST NIGHT YOU'LL SPEND ALONE LOOK ME IN THE EYES SO I KNOW YOU KNOW The Lyrics: 'last night' skillet The Outfit: here Tagged maggieThe Notes short but meh. xD think i gave you enough <3 --- .LUCA WAS STARTING TO GET SICK OF maggie always seeing the worse in him. she was so quick to pin everything on him, she was now just assuming he was behind every evil plan. the funny thing was, luca hadn't been doing... anything really. maggie could blame it on her 'trust issues.' but if you had to ask luca, it was time for her to get the fuck over it. luca really just wondered if he kept pushing her, if she's get over it. to him, luca had been doing about eighty percent of working on the relationship. he admitted he was sorry, he groveled, he pleaded. as far as he knew, maggie just complained, said she didn't trust him anymore, and of course, accused him of cheating. as far as he knew, she was done. she was just dragging him through hell for her own amusement. she came here and what exactly was she expecting? they were barely talking, so how would he react to the fact that she was pregnant? everything could just have been so different if they would have made up three months ago. better yet, in luca's mind, if the russians never ordered a hit on his head, he and maggie would have been just fine together. weird how he just felt that. and to be real, they probably would have already had a kid together. they would already be parents as weird as that sounded. right now, not being together was never going to be an option for him, but he could feel this huge gap pulling them further and further apart with all the things they didn't work on. even if they weren't together, luca would still love her. that was probably the saddest thing of it all. he didn't hate her, he probably never would, but it was just so goddamn frustrating the way things were turning out right now. and now she was sitting on the edge of the bed, crying, and luca didn't know what she wanted from him. luca couldn't help but maybe say that this could be treated as a good thing. not that a baby should solve any of their many many problems as a couple, but the baby could somehow just bring them closer together. he wasn't just going to not be involved, like maggie was probably thinking because she liked jumping to conclusions. so, thinking luca didn't want to be around her anymore, was completely wrong. he was himself a teenager when violet named luca the godfather of rocco. luca was definitely always around rocco when he was growing up. pulling him along to his errands around town, playing games, and taking him off the violet's tired arms when it looked like his cousin just needed a break. not to mention, before luca had to leave, rocco was a second resident in his loft before maggie moved in. rocco even had a bed he slept on when he did sleep over. though rocco was probably the only child luca had a close relationship with, he believed it was a good one. a good one to know that he believed he was good with kids. or, at least a kid. if he was so good with his godson, surely he was good enough for his own kid. his own kid. that still didn't quite sink in. like... his own. it was weird. now instead of just being "married," (if he would even say that anymore,) they were now going to be a real family. it wasn't like they were just looking out for each other. they were out for this unborn baby. it was a big responsibility, and luca had no idea if he could handle that. could they get past their own differences to raise someone they'd have to put first? and here luca was, laying it all out on the table, again. he said he wanted her, he wanted, the baby, but he wanted to know about them. and then she just said she couldn't see it. he stood there, in front of her, highly confused. what the hell couldn't she see now? what was she talking about? maggie then finished out what she was telling them. that she couldn't see that this was what she wanted. luca instantly felt spikes in his anger level. "stop, maggie," he told her, trying to keep the anger under control. "stop trying to say the things you want me to think. it's not true." he stepped closer to her. "you keep claiming you know what i want. but you never say what you want." he stepped even closer until he was kneeling next to her. he put his hands around her face and pulled her face closer to his in attempt to get it through her head. "i. want. you. but what do you want maggie? what do you want?" created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d100/lilpuppyluver2003/bg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;] hi » THERE’S A PLACE FOR US. "what do you want." jesus what a loaded question. what in the hell did she want? well for starters she never imagined that phrase coming up ever. maggie's wants and needs had never come into question as a child. everything had always been decided for her. more so the fact of the matter was that no one had ever asked her that question. people always assumed that maggie put other people aside and just went after what she wanted because she was a strong personality and because she didn't like people doing anything for her. the truth was that maggie had been raised to fend for herself. sure she'd been raised in a gigantic compound that surrounded a mansion that was surrounded by bodyguards and anything else one could imagine, but what people didn't know was what went on inside those walls. maggie didn't know why juan corinthos hated her so much. he made a point to always single her out. of course he always made a statement with his kids, the main point being with maggie was that he'd made a point of letting her know he had been protecting her. he always made sure that she knew deep down that if he didn't protect her that she would die and that would all be determined by his hand. all it took was one phone call to her guards and they would disappear almost into thin air. and when juan wanted to make a point he'd do just that. he'd leave her alone in a park, he'd leave her stranded outside the compound, hell he even called off his dogs when she was walking within his own walls. the man had a sick and twisted sense of humor and found it in scaring the hell out of maggie. hearing that phone chirping always raised the hairs on the back of her neck. she didn't like to say it but luca and all those other people who grew up in healthy, happy homes just didn't know what it was like to grow up knowing with absolute certainty that no one you laid your eyes on could be trusted. not to mention people, luca especially, didn't understand that it was a tough habit to break and that when anything came weaseling it's way into her thoughts it was easy for that trust issue to take hold all over again. it was almost like she was physically incapable of leaving that past behind because it followed her around no matter what. no matter who she became in the future or what she did to make herself stand out from the rest of the crowd somehow she would always be juan corinthos' little girl. somehow people always saw her in the fitting image of her father. he'd run a drug empire and now so was she. he tended to be a little stiff when it came to rules and how they were bent and quite frankly so was she. he was a stickler for the way things used to be and if it wasn't glaringly obvious so was she. if the past hadn't happened and if they hadn't had this massive lapse in time when they should have gotten to know each other better than this trust issue probably would have been far from an issue but it was like luca didn't understand. how could he. the man grew up in a family of people who cared about him. if he'd stubbed his toe as a child or scraped his knee riding his bike his mother or father would have dropped what they were doing to rub his foot or clean and bandage his knee. they didn't know what it was like to experience the same thing on her side of the compound. they didn't understand that if you were bleeding the guards couldn't even console you because it was against the rules. they simply had to wait until the tears ran dry and you picked yourself up and walked on through the pain. no comfort, no helping hand, no reassurance at all. people who met her probably thought she was just some over dramatic person looking for attention. in all actuality maggie didn't know how to accommodate these kind of situations. she didn't know how to feel like she could undeservingly just trust someone. she didn't know how to take someone at their word without proof. things like that. she was the type of person who didn't take religion seriously because she didn't see any proof in the world or she needed to see it in a more direct approach. all she knew for certain was what there was before her and that began with life. you live some and if you're lucky enough you live to an age that people feel is right and then in some fashion or another you die and that's the end of it. she had never had to believe in spirits or any of that kind of thing though people would probably assume it was part of her culture because she was hispanic. once again, linking her with a series of people she neither knew anything of nor had had the same experiences as. things were all seen from a different perspective for maggie and luca just didn't seem to understand that. he didn't understand that when she knew he could return home and he decided not to that the first place she went to was a simple "he doesn't want to come back." she could fathom any other reason that what was spelled out right in front of her face. that was fine for her. that was the reasoning that finally put her mind at rest and finally let her get some god damned sleep. god forbid she go looking for secondary meanings in other people's actions or words. she didn't do subtlety. she didn't do hidden meanings. in the easiest sense of the word maggie almost had a guy's reaction to emotions. she didn't see past what was written in front of her face and she didn't go looking for things hidden in other people's words because she didn't like getting the wrong impressions. and people had a way of making her feel bad for the way she approached the world. was it so bad that she needed someone to just sit her down and prove that they loved her? was it so much that she needed reassurance that luca wasn't just in this because it was recently uncovered that another life was going to be a part of the mix? maybe she was just looking for something here that luca couldn't give her. hard to do when she knew it was capable of some people. andreo seemed to know her well enough to know she was the type to need solid proof. then again, technically andreo had known her over a longer period of time. she'd spent more time with him than she had her damn husband as of present time. but that certainly didn't need to come up in conversation. not now at least. she could see that her reaction wasn't what luca was looking for. well he wanted honesty didn't he? he didn't want sunshine and rainbows and for her to lie to him so why the fuck couldn't he just embrace what she was feeling and live with it. no instead he had to get angry and had to try and push her. not true huh. what the hell was the truth anymore? she looked up at luca as he stepped closer, shaking her head at his words even as he knelt in front of her and grabbed her head. well that stopped the shaking at least. her eyes locked on his, hot tears still running down her cheeks as he spoke. was this the proof she wanted all along? was this the genuine kind of emotion she'd been looking to see from him? maggie honestly didn't know anymore but he seemed to honestly be trying and that had to stand for something right? "what do you want." "you damnit."

[/b] she said with a shaking voice, her hands reaching up to clasp both sides of his neck. " i want you and i want to feel like you're not obligated to stay. i want you to accept the fact that i don't trust like other people because i just don't know how to."[/b] she found herself brushing her thumbs over his cheeks, willing herself to get lost in the moment to see if she could just feel something, feel the physical need or whatever it was she was looking for out of luca. "i love you so much."[/b] she said blinking back more tears as she leaned forward and touched her forehead to his. "i love you so damn much."[/b] her hands clenched on the collar of his shirt, the plaid material gathering in her hands as she tugged him forward, her lips finally, blessedly touching his. [/div]

1,497, outfit, TAG: LAGGIE.

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[luca angelo giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #1c1c2f solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] THIS IS THE LAST NIGHT YOU'LL SPEND ALONE LOOK ME IN THE EYES SO I KNOW YOU KNOW The Lyrics: 'last night' skillet The Outfit: here Tagged maggieThe Notesthis sucked a lot. sorry. --- IT NOT ONLY CONFUSED HIM BUT HURT HIM that maggie thought he didn't want anything to do with her or their child. he wanted maggie forever. he wanted to live with her again, he wanted to see her when he came home, he wanted to be married to her, and he wanted her next to him while he slept at night. didn't she realize that if he didn't want a life with her, he would not only of not come back, but he wouldn't be lingering around her trying to get her back. he just wished this had all gone down differently. he wished that they weren't fighting and living separately. it would have been sweeter if they were the married couple they once used to be. then, the news of a baby would have been more celebratory. right now, it literally was like 'what does this mean?' and luca knew it should not be like that. it should be them being happy to add an addition to their family. or, a start of their family. thankfully, he didn't leave her pregnant. that probably would have been worse. his family right now couldn't fathom that he left to begin with. he would never be forgiven if she was pregnant when he did leave. that would have been weird though. come back and have a kid. the road to recovery with trying to mend that definitely would have been harder than what he was trying to do right now. besides, that would be weird coming back with a kid that barely knew who you were. he had seen that done before with some of the members of the mob leaving because they got arrested and went to jail. when they came back, it was all different. like, time moved on in the real world, but it was slow-moving in theirs. maggie and luca were never together long enough for his parents, fausto, and all his other aunts and uncles to wonder when they would be starting a family. but it still was, now maggie was pregnant, and they still weren't together together. so it was now another reason for his family to hate him again. luca put maggie on the spot. he flat out asked what she wanted, and he wasn't about to let her out of the question anytime soon. his arms did not waver as they held on to maggie so she couldn't look at anything but him. and then she said it. she said that what she wanted was him. luca felt a huge wave of relief wash over him when she said that. it was what he had been wanting to hear for the longest time. he had no idea if she even wanted to stay together, but hearing that she did made luca realize he wasn't trying for nothing. then she told him that she didn't want him to feel obligated to stay and that her trust issues made it hard for her. "obligated? maggie... i wanted to be with you, and this doesn't change anything." maggie gripped his neck and luca felt like something "breakthrough-like" was about to happen. would dr. banks approve of this? would he say they were doing everything wrong right now? luca didn't know how other couples had to act around each other while going through these marriage counseling sessions. could they have mental breakdowns like this? what happened after this? maggie said that she loved him and pulled their heads together. these were more words luca felt relieved to hear her say. "i love you, maggie," he told her. maggie's lips touched his, and to say the least, luca was shocked that she made the move, she kissed him. luca wasn't going to pull away. he kissed her back, one hand running it's way down her hair. he kissed her again before he stood up and sat back down next to her on the bed. luca brought his hands to her face once again and wiped away her tears. "i miss you maggie," he said to her and held her hands. luca kissed her fingers and said, "i really do." luca pulled her closer to him, wrapping an arm around her and pulled both of them down on the bed. he kissed her on the top of her head and held her hand with his free hand. "i'm sorry." he probably had said this a lot over the past few months, but now it was the peace after the storm. they were now more understanding. he interlocked his fingers with hers, concentrating on their hands. "i want to be a family. don't you?" he asked placing her hand on his chest and keeping it there. he turned his head to look at her. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d100/lilpuppyluver2003/bg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;] hi » THERE’S A PLACE FOR US. all maggie wanted was for the pain to end. she knew that all of this was hard on both of them. it wasn't easy to sit around and watch as the marriage you'd had such high hopes for in the beginning started to crumble down around you. truth of the matter was that their marriage had been in trouble the moment luca had left for boston after that gigantic fight they'd had. it was in trouble because they'd never had the chance to go through what had been said, make their apologies, and to put these things behind them. instead the words sat in their ears. it festered until there was nothing left to be said that wouldn't just bring up more pain and more horrible words. the more time that had passed between them had made a bigger and bigger gap in their marriage until so much time had passed that it was questionable if there was even anything left there to begin with. that much hurt maggie. she'd wanted so badly from the moment she'd said "i do" to have their marriage work out. she wouldn't have taken the leap and made that all too important decision to marry him for real if she hadn't wanted it to begin with and she really had. though their marriage had been 'preplanned' and though they'd gone ahead with it anyways, by the time maggie had walked down that aisle with just luca in her sights as he stood at that altar, well it was like there had been no trouble to get there at all. it was like this hadn't been some ploy by her father and fausto to get them together just for the sake of screwing with them. it was like they hadn't been forced to fake an engagement and lie to the people they loved simply because it had been out of their hands. the moment they'd made that decision to make that leap on their own everything else about the situation had vanished. sure it hadn't been their decision to actually come to that conclusion, but with how they'd both felt about one another it was almost like they hadn't gone through that hell to have gotten where they had gotten to. it was like juan hadn't tried to set her up in this only to have an excuse to kill her. it was like she hadn't been paired up with luca wanting to maim him and rip off his clothes at the same time. the moment she'd stepped on that white little walkway, her eyes locked on his even from a distance as she walked past people who would now be her new family, it had felt like they'd reached this decision all on their own. though they'd never really gone out and done the whole overrated dating scene, it was like in a way they had. they'd gone through the hardships already. combining forces to battle their elders had made a strange kind of bond that truthfully no one else had. even if it was only a fantasy, it was like they'd come to the decision to marry all on their own and that was what had made things special. sure they'd been pushed into that situation by all kinds of crazy decisions but in the end it had turned out to have happened to them for the better. maggie knew that there was no one in this world she would rather be with. there was no one else on the face of the planet who was nearly as infuriating and loveable as luca all at the same time. there was never going to be anyone else who could make her feel alive like he did. that fact and that fact alone was something she'd lost sight of after the fight and after having spent so much time alone. it was something that had been pushed so far deep into the back of her mind that all of her old insecurities had had a chance to surface and get in the way, leaving her with just this empty hole that needed to be filled with reassurance again. maggie knew this wasn't the type of person that luca had fallen for in the first place. she knew that the maggie luca was so used to was a strong willed and stubborn as hell woman who liked to get in there with her hands and solve her own problems. that had been maggie from the very start. she had been a rebellious teenager with something to prove and a fetish for knives. now she was a much more responsible person who preferred guns over knives because the closeness now only bothered her instead of giving her the rush she'd so desired as a kid. she was in fact a different person now. over the course of the years that he'd been gone maggie had been forced to grow up and except things for what they were. if they were things she couldn't change then maggie just had to acclimate to them, like the situation with luca choosing not to return. then there were the things she didn't like but needed to handle anyways, something she'd learned to do with much more finesse now. in truth maggie wasn't the naive teenager she'd been when she met luca. not anymore. she was an adult now with adult responsibilities and a world of pressures on her shoulders and that was her responsibility to bear. she knew that this side of herself would take some getting used to and that maybe leaving behind that side of herself would be a problem for them later on, but if there was anything for the two of them now there was a whole lot to who she was now that luca knew nothing about. starting with the fact that she was now a soon to be mother and it was freaking her the hell out. she didn't know what to do about something like this. give her a business problem and she could handle it. tell her one of the dancers broke their foot out clubbing the night before and maggie could get a replacement in that day to learn routines and be on stage that night. tell her a shipment was lost to a rival gang and maggie could have the mess cleaned up and retaliation so massive on the way that no one from that gang would think to fuck with her again. but a baby? this was all foreign ground to her and frankly she had no idea what to do about it. she wasn't sure just how much she was supposed to embrace the relief she was now feeling, but maggie so desperately wanted to feel it. to think that there was a possibility luca wanted all of this, all of her and all of their child, to think that he was still invested in this and that he still loved her. it almost felt like too much to hope for. it felt like there was some catch she was forgetting to take note of. but she was a mess and she needed any reassurances that she could get right now. she needed it before she really fell to pieces because if this fell through then that really was the next step. she couldn't believe that she'd kissed him either. after all the hell they were putting themselves through maggie was still the type to not give in until her opponent had waved the white flag and though their had been some semblance of flag waving, luca's flag's color still didn't seem all that white to her. but it was what it was. maggie needed to feel like she wasn't the only one going for broke here and now that it was done she felt more so like luca felt invested. she could have been kidding herself but right now she was willing to see anything in an effort to make herself feel better. "i missed you too."

[/b] she said as he held her close, fitting her head on his shoulder like she always used to where he cheek fit perfectly and where her breath gently danced over his skin. it felt all too right at that moment and she couldn't fight the next oncoming wave of relief that washed over her. she leaned back against the bed, finally feeling like she could relax a little as luca apologized. "i know you are."[/b] was all she could manage to whisper. honestly she didn't know what to say to his apology. though more had come lately than ever in their history, sorries were still foreign coming out of luca's mouth and maggie had never learned how to deal with them.

she felt the contrast in their hands, his rough in comparison to her softer hands. somehow it was reassuring. it brought back all the memories of them laid up in bed, their bodies interlocked as they just enjoyed the time they had together before it got interrupted by real life. those were the days. she smoothed her thumb over his chest, smiling at his words before she moved both their hands to her stomach. it was a strange notion, the fact that there was a life blooming in there when honestly nothing felt different other than her gag reflex, but it was true. there was a beginning life there. "i do. i really, really do."[/b] she said with a soft smile as she looked up at luca, finally heaving a sigh of relief. she knew that there was more to come of their troubles but for the first time in a long time she felt like they'd accomplished something, like they'd made it over some kind of hurdle. [/div]

1,628, outfit, TAG: LAGGIE.

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THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION.

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[luca angelo giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #1c1c2f solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] THIS IS THE LAST NIGHT YOU'LL SPEND ALONE LOOK ME IN THE EYES SO I KNOW YOU KNOW The Lyrics: 'last night' skillet The Outfit: here Tagged maggieThe Notes<3 --- THEY WERE IN AN AWKWARD POSITION. luca's knees crooked at the edge of the bed, and his feet were planted firmly on the ground. yet, he was completely comfortable because he was holding maggie close. a feeling he had been craving for so long, it was almost sad. the way her head rested on his shoulder so that if she really wanted to, she could just barely touch his jaw with her lips, a subtle action that drove him crazy. it was how his arm wrapped around her and he could graze her shoulder with his fingertips and trail his way down her arm and back up to her shoulder. it was the way after several moments of just laying there, their breathing became synced with each other. it was what luca missed, where he could lay there, close his eyes, and for a fraction of a second, forget about everything about who they worked for and what they did for a living. he could ignore that his gun laid on the counter, he could forget about the people who owed him money, he could forget about the people that would love to kill him. it was just him and her. luca tried doing that now, closing his eyes. but he couldn't. everything right now was wound so tight. he didn't know how to relax because everything had been so tense and stressful. though he was content right night laying there with maggie, in the back of his mind luca was wondering if the next blowout was around the corner. he wondered how they were going to tell everyone. their families weren't dumb, counseling was underway and now maggie was pregnant? he knew a whole new wave of criticism was headed his way. but what luca wanted was when luca and maggie decided to tell them, that they at least looked like a couple, than what they were now, and what everyone knew they were. this was an unexpected surprise. luca wasn't saying that it was bad, it just came out of left field and luca wouldn't have expected she would have gotten pregnant so quickly. it was just weird how everything came together like this. kids were never really on his mind. he wanted kids with maggie, of course, but luca was still in that mindset that they were too young. clearly, it wasn't the case anymore because four years had since passed since they had gotten married. through all the shit they had been experiencing in the last few months, luca didn't once doubt his love for her. he loved maggie without a doubt in his mind, he almost felt bad for being so lucky. most importantly, luca wanted to move back in. he wanted to live in the loft again with maggie. he didn't know if he could be living here in this hotel room for another month. when would they see each other? mob meetings, therapy sessions, and doctor's appointments? luca didn't want that at all. when luca said he wanted to be a family, he wanted everything that was put into being one, living together was sort of a given. most of all though, luca didn't want her to do this on her own. he wanted to do just as much. she was the one that was pregnant after all. luca didn't want her to continue to go all balls out like he knew she was doing right now with the m lounge. yeah... that would have to be a headache for another day because he knew that she wouldn't back away easily. however to be involved in the giovannis and being pregnant wouldn't be a walk in the park by any means. if luca was protective over maggie in the past... watch out, because it was only bound to get worse from now on. whether they were going to be on good terms or not. she should probably prepare for that. maggie moved both of their hands to her stomach, and it dawned on him that yeah, there was a baby growing inside of her. she told him that she wanted to be a family, too. luca kept his hand along her stomach, thinking of what to say. "well... you know it's going to be a boy," he said to her and moved his hand underneath her blouse so he could feel her bare skin. it was still rather weird because her stomach was as flat as he had always remembered. she was looking up at him and he grinned slowly. his lips found her forehead before he pulled her a little closer against him. "maggie," he asked, almost cautiously, lightly running his fingers over her stomach. "when can i move back in?" he gave it a second before he added in, "i'm just thinking, that maybe everything could work better if i moved back home. i'd be there for you and the baby. i could even sleep on the couch if you wanted me to. what do you need me to do? i'll do anything for you." created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d100/lilpuppyluver2003/bg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;] hi » THERE’S A PLACE FOR US. maggie was on edge the same as luca. she didn't want to fight again. she didn't want to have such a beautiful, gentle moment with him and to have it ruined but just one more fight on top of everything else. why was it that it always seemed like they could never go two seconds without some kind of heated moment? from any outsiders perspective it would have seemed that the two of them just weren't meant to be together. they fought all the time and they were at each other’s throats more than they were calm and just enjoying one another's presence. to people on the outside looking in it wasn't the makings of a beautiful relationship. so why was it that it was everything maggie had ever wanted? it was true that for the longest time she hadn't felt like she deserved any good in her life. that feeling was the main reason why maggie was so quick to believe that luca would have done something bad to betray her, because maggie being happy was something that threw off the balance in the world. all her life she'd been taught to feel like she deserved nothing and though she'd fought tooth and nail to prove her father wrong at the same time she'd always been hesitant to do so because somewhere in the depths of her mind she'd always thought a piece of what he'd said was true. despite the fact that maggie had worked so hard to prove her father wrong and despite the fact that she hated him more than anything in this world, he still had an undeniable effect on her. like a ghost haunting her day in and day out she heard his voice in her head saying that she would never be happy, that she would be the ruin of everyone she ever met, that she would die at his hands. everything that a father shouldn't say to his daughter was said to maggie and never just in a moment of anger. no juan corinthos had meant every word he'd ever uttered in her general direction. she hated that she couldn't just relax ever in her life and just be in a happy moment with luca without her mind turning on her and recalling everything that her father had ever said to her. it was cruel the way she almost caused her own demise. after all it was maggie's hesitation that had really lead to this point. she could attribute a lot of it to his half truths and his inability to tell her the whole story in one fell swoop, but in reality luca wouldn't have been so pissed as to nearly not come to couple's counseling had it not been for maggie's inability to put things behind her and just trust. maybe it was because her father was still alive. maybe it was due to the fact that though she'd shot juan corinthos sr and taken everything away from him, that his words still rang true as long as he was still breathing. it was like tempting fate. as long as her father still lived anything he'd ever promised her was still a possibility. he could still get to her. he could always somehow come out of the woodwork and know just how best to take her down. he knew her weaknesses. he knew everything about her. despite maggie calling him an idiot at every turn the man wasn't shy to the obvious. he knew he got under her skin worse than her own husband could do. juan knew that should he ever want to incapacitate maggie that all he had to do was hit her where it hurt. maggie wasn't sure but the fact that juan was still alive and still able to act on his threats as long as he was breathing did not help put her at ease. she should have killed him that day after the kidnapping. had it not been for luca grabbed her and dragging her away from her crippled father in hysterics, maggie was sure she would have put a bullet in his brain. maybe then everything would be over. maybe then she could believe that she was allowed to feel what she felt and be as happy as she could be. maybe then she could believe that her husband really did love her and wanted nothing more than the two of them together. what maggie had yet to come to the conclusion of was that she was already getting more than her father had ever dreamed for her. not only was she still breathing but she'd taken everything from him, gained massive alliances, and now she was carrying a new giovanni within her body. that made her more important to the giovannis than ever though somehow that didn't register with maggie quite yet. it would register with her later maybe when she was alone or maybe when they told the family, but regardless, the only person whose opinion mattered now, and really ever, was lucas. she couldn't believe that he was so excited about all of this. maggie wasn't sure what she'd expected to see from him when she'd revealed her, their, news. sure she hadn't planned for the reality of what had actually happened, but she'd been going into this situation blind. for all she knew that would have been luca's reaction regardless, though maggie kind of doubted that. but none of that didn't matter right now. the fighting was behind them, the anger was quenched at least for one day, the tempers were put aside, and the fears were silenced if not for a little while. all maggie could bring herself to care about now was luca's hands on her stomach and knowing just what was going through his head. she watched him as his mind seemed to work, the silence in the air being more than he could handle. maggie could level with him on that. she had almost felt the need to pipe up as well. they'd spent so much time fighting one another that it seemed crazy for them to be in the same room, blood pumping through their bodies, air in their lungs, and for silence to fall between them. it almost seemed unnatural. she chuckled at his words. there was absolutely no question in his mind that they would carry a son. "we'll have to see i suppose."

[/b] maggie said with a chuckle. "you'll have to come with me to the doctor’s appointment to see for yourself."[/b]

close. finally, blessedly they were close once again. this didn't feel like a false close either. this didn't feel like it did when they tore each other's clothes off for some sense of comfort only for the reality of it all to hit them later on. this felt bigger, bigger than both of them combined. this felt like something maggie would assume to be the closeness felt by actual families consisting of more than just a married man and woman. they were a full-fledged family now. there was no denying it. maggie looked up at him as he spoke her name, her brow furrowing at his tone. "yes?"[/b] she said before he continued with his question. when he did maggie really had to stop and think for a moment. this was progress. they were making progress. but maggie had to wonder what kind of sniveling analysis dr. banks would want to make of this. how sad was it that luca was asking to be definitively in her life once more and she was thinking about what their therapist might think. "i'm not sure."[/b] she said honestly, being quick to speak again before luca had a chance to get mad. "i think we need to talk to the therapist first because you know i love you but this changes things. he'll have something to say and honestly i’m curious about it."[/b] she stopped, grumbling as she sat upright once more. she held his hands still, making sure he came up with her. "what i would like,"[/b] she began, hoping that luca would still be willing after she hadn't been all gung-ho about his question, "well i was hoping you would come over tonight. i know it's not a clear yes and it’s not a whole-hearted invitation yet, but there's no denying that i want to sleep next to you tonight. you don't even need to stay on the couch. i can't clearly say yes until after our session, but luca i want you to come home with me tonight."[/b] she looked over at him with actual fear in her gaze, hoping that luca wouldn't blow up at her now.
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1,449, outfit, TAG: LAGGIE.

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THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION.

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[luca angelo giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #1c1c2f solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] THIS IS THE LAST NIGHT YOU'LL SPEND ALONE LOOK ME IN THE EYES SO I KNOW YOU KNOW The Lyrics: 'last night' skillet The Outfit: here Tagged maggieThe Notesthis kinda sucks too... --- MAGGIE WAS PREGNANT, maggie was pregnant, maggie was pregnant. they were the words stringing together seamlessly as they ran through his mind. he still really didn't truly believe it. his eyes were seeing this unfold before him, but his mind was playing tricks on him. it felt like last week, they were just kids. hating each other, fighting all the time, wondering when the engagement would run it's course and be called off. and now suddenly, it was like the real adult world. the real adult world was different from the adult life of their chosen careers. luca knew the mob business inside out. he knew strategies, he knew codes, and pick-ups, allies, and enemies. but the problems people faced in real life was just secondary to him. bills, keeping up with the house, and lawnmowers were just... not something he tended to worry about. clearly, as you could see, handling a broken marriage and a pregnancy surprise was also not his forte either. he could handle his job... his personal life with maggie he could not. as he looked into her eyes, luca realized that the last time he had seen her was when she was basically a teenager. sure, one foot was in the door, and the other was out, but she was still nineteen when they got married. maybe that was who he had been expecting to see when he first came back to valkyrie. the same person he had left. but she wasn't. she still was as stubborn as he was and got angered quick. but everything else was just so damn different. luca knew that it wasn't just because she changed, it was because she was just growing older. luca was convinced she was walking different, and she didn't wear the same perfume that he last remembered, and her clothes were different, and this and that, and this and that. he could rattle off all these different things he noticed. but those true moments, of tender and care, they were the same. the way she touched his chest with her hand. soft and delicate, but still managing to burn right through the fabric of his shirt and pierce his core. did he still have that effect on her? it was the deal breaker when she first hesitated when he asked if he could come home. it was his loft before it became 'theirs', and before somehow it became 'hers.' they both held each other's gaze until she said, "i'm not sure." and luca closed his. so, they were just laying here together for what? to only get up and go their seperate ways again? before luca could gain words to say, she told him that they should probably see what dr. banks would say about this. maggie sat up, pulling him up with her. he sighed, not even trying to hide his frustrated disappointment. couples were living together and going to therapy together. didn't couples with kids, pretend everything was ok as they say down for dinner, but really, they had counselling too? "if permission is what you want..." luca said and trailed off. getting permission from their therapist sounded weird, but if that would somehow help maggie, then, he supposed the inferno wasn't so bad. it basically had become his home the past few months. what was a few more days going to do to him? maggie started talking again, but luca was really only half listening. then she said that she wanted him to come over tonight, and she wanted to sleep next to him, and he didn't need to sleep on the couch either. well, luca didn't want to sleep on the couch either, but he thought it had sounded like a better gesture to her. they really hadn't truly "slept" together since before he left. and it was kind of funny how maggie said it. she wanted to take him home. like they were at a bar and they were drinking headed straight for a hook-up, and her house was closest. luca looked at her, who was already looking at him. he knew she was waiting for his response. she was probably expecting him to lose his cool, and luca wanted to, because he still just wanted to go home and live in the loft, and not feel the need that he needed any permission from dr. banks to live in his own house and talk to his own wife. "of course i will," he said and brushed the side of her cheek with his thumb. "i want nothing more than sleep next to you tonight," he kissed her lips. "i can't wait any longer, mags..." he rubbed her back with his hand and dropped his head to rest on her shoulder. "i want this." luca kissed her shoulder and found her hand again to squeeze it. "we should probably... make an appoitment and see a doctor. make sure everything with the baby is ok, you know?" he told her and let go of her hand to rub her stomach once more. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[magdelena e. g. giovanni]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d100/lilpuppyluver2003/bg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;] hi » THERE’S A PLACE FOR US. she could see the disappointment on his face and it killed her to put it there once again. it seemed like every time that they made some kind of progress maggie was always the one to put on the brakes and just squash any joy in the moment. yeah that sucked, but maggie couldn't help herself. the fact of the matter was that no matter how much they hurt one another they were so much stronger together. well there was no real evidence to support that. actually there was a lot of evidence to the contrary, but maggie didn't care. the evidence showed that with so much time spent apart they really had done a lot for the business and they'd come a long way from where they had been when after they'd just gotten married. they'd been kids back then, immature, inexperienced, and trying desperately to prove themselves in a world where you could easily be overlooked if you didn't take the opportunity to be seen when you had the chance. that had certainly been the case for maggie when they'd gotten married. though she'd been the daughter of a drug lord when they'd first been assigned to one another's company, by the time she had walked down that aisle her future hadn't really been certain. she had minor grips on her father's old business but she had no backing. had fausto wanted nothing to do with her he could have killed her as she walked down that aisle and taken it all for himself. he'd taken a change on an inexperienced whelp and maggie had everything to prove. though the failing of her marriage had been hard on her and had pretty much destroyed her emotionally, from an occupational standpoint it had been the greatest thing to ever happen to the business. maggie had taken strides in the four short years that no one would have imagined she could take. she'd made more moves and more money for the business in that short time, an amount she probably should have made over the course of ten years, not four. she'd done a whole hell of a lot to get where she was now. maybe it was a good thing luca had shown up when he did. there were women out there who chose to put their careers before their personal lives and would wait until their thirties to have children simply because they wanted to have their accomplishments under their belt first before giving in to the ways of the wayward housewife. but maggie had done all of that in a handful of years. she'd made a name for herself, made herself important in the eyes of her new family, and she'd done it all before she was even twenty-five. luca coming in when he did forced her to slow down and not push the envelope as much as she had been. with him back she would be forced to slow herself down a little and find a nice, steady rhythm instead of going full-speed ahead all day, every day. not to mention the fact that a baby on the way changed pretty much everything about her old lifestyle. that had to be the reason why maggie's body was rebelling against her. she'd always been non-stop since luca had left. with a baby on the way she was forced to slow down, take a much needed breather, and get back to putting the pieces of her life back together the way she should have tried to do years ago. as luca sighed in response to her honest need to see the shrink again, maggie tensed. she wondered if he would lash out again in anger or if he'd just give up completely. she knew that he just wanted her to give in to his wants, wants he knew she wanted just as badly, and a majority of her mind, body, and will wanted her to. that was the problem. she would take him back in a heartbeat in this very moment, back in full at least, but she wasn't sure if that was the right thing. if she lead the way with just her heart luca would be checking out of this hotel room yesterday and moving himself and his things back into their loft, but she couldn't go into this blind, and she could let him go on thinking as he did. "no, no no. don't think of it as permission."

[/b] she said with a sigh as she brushed her thumb over the flesh of his hand. "i don't need someone to tell me that it's okay to love you or it's okay to do this, that, or whatever. my issue is that if i said yes this very moment it would be because of the high, because of what's happened and the reconnection and everything. i'm going into this with, well, blind eyes, and i need someone on the outside to just put things in perspective for me because i can't right now."[/b] she paused with a grimace, wondering if she was only digging herself deeper and deeper into a hole of some sort. it wasn't what she wanted to do but she somehow felt like explaining herself would make things better. "i would say yes to you in a second but we might regret moving so fast later on. i just want to make sure we're on the same page and everything. but, i love you. no one's going to tell me that i can't live with you or anything like that, i just want some perspective from someone who's not blinded by the situation."[/b]

he wasn't happy about it, maggie knew that, and at this point she almost doubted that he would even want to come back to their loft. maybe she should just stop talking. the moment he said he would come back with her maggie let out a breath she didn't even know she'd been holding. "i'm really glad."[/b] she said with a smile as she leaned in and kissed him. god it had been so long since they'd felt this way. it almost felt like some kind of dream world. she slipped her fingers into his hair at the base of his neck as his head rested on her shoulder. it felt so nice to be so close with not as much of a gap standing between them. "then maybe we should go home."[/b] she whispered with a smile as those words left her mouth. "yeah i'll give them a call. i'm assuming you want to come by the we?"[/b] she said as her hand rest over his that lay on her stomach. "because i want you to be there."[/b]

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1,119, outfit, TAG: LAGGIE.

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