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Post by ashleypresleyadams on Nov 24, 2011 1:45:49 GMT -6
. JESUS CHRIST
i'm alone again .
Everyone deals with disaster in their own way. Some people confront it head on, make sure it's resolved, and do it the right way. Some people down it all out in liquor. Some people have coping methods they resort to, to temporarily heal it all. Ashley Adams? She runs away to Australia, which is what made her current state quite an odd view to see. Her stood a girl, who hadn't stepped foot in America, let alone Valkyrie in years, leaning up against a bar, surrounded by heaps of men, staring up at the beautiful, half naked woman dancing and bouncing around, all over the bar. In a slight sense Ashley admired these woman. The courage and athletic skill they had to have? There was no way she couldn't look at them in a good light, however, not a good enough light for her to choose their dancing over your typical run of the mill bar. Half naked woman weren't her preferred setting when she wanted her to drown her insides in alcohol.
Why was she back in Valkyrie? Hell, she wasn't even quite sure, it went against everything she trained herself to think in Australia. He, who shall not be thought of, never-mind named was supposedly erased from her memory. However, if that was the truth, than why did she come running back? Who else did she have to check on after hearing the noise of an earthquake. There was nobody else of extreme importance to her here. Being the type of person who was rare to let anybody in, she cared about very few in valkyrie, and Reed, well he was the only one left that she really ever had any strong emotion for. So, if he was all that was left for her to check on, why come back? The thought echoed in her mind, just as it had the whole plane ride.
A subtle breath of air collapse from her lips, as her body slumped closer to the bar. She was already prepared with her own liquor fix, flask full of whisky in her hand. There was no need for her to even come to a bar tonight, she was already prepared. But regardless of the fact that she already had enough on her to get her mind to slow down, she still needed some type of shelter, and with all the change that Valkyrie had gone through, she couldn't recognize the place anymore. This was the first place she decided to stop by, and something about the atmosphere had a familiar taste to it, so she stayed. Now, don't get me wrong, most bars like this have a fairly familiar feel to them, but this one was different. As soon as she stepped her first foot in, it was a deja vu sort of feeling, like she'd been here. Now, in reality, she had never been there, the place opened after she left, but she couldn't shake the familiar feeling. It was an enjoyable, comfortable feeling for her, something she hadn't experienced in years, and for brief moments, on and off, she was glad she was back.
Those brief moments never lasted long though, they'd bounce from warm feelings, to realistic thoughts. She should be letting herself have some fun, her first night back in her hometown, but how is it possible to have any fun when you know that you don't have a place to sleep, you don't have enough money to turn back now, and somewhere in this town, your should-have-been-baby-daddy is out gallivanting around, unaware of your return, banging a high class hooker in a bath room stall. Ashley shook her head, trying to push the thought away. She had gone so long, without even a mention of his name, and here she was, completely incapable of thinking about anything else. Forcing her arm up, she lifted the flask slightly above her mouth and poured her liquid mind eraser into her mouth. It burned against the back of her throat, which was, in these past years, an even more familiar feeling than this bar was giving her. She pierced her lips, and slowly let them curl out into a smile, the first one she'd let herself have since stepping foot in this hell she called home.
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Post by reed on Nov 24, 2011 14:35:52 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #330000 solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] AND THERE'S NO GUARANTEE
THAT THIS WILL BE EASY The Lyrics: 'endlessly' the cab The Outfit: here Tagged ashley <3 The Notes yay!
--- FROM THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN, reed turner was a successful businessman. he had a bar that was as packed as it was tonight like it had been when he first opened it. he had money. maybe not enough to get those five cars and a mansion, but it was enough where he didn't have to worry about not being able to make rent. he loved his job and he loved the people he had working for him. however, the truth was, reed turner was hanging on by a mere thread. ever since his fiance, shelby, died nine months ago, things hadn't been the same. anyone that was close to him knew that things had been different for a long time. reed showed up for work, but he wasn't as cheery as he usually had been. he went out to dinner with his brothers and riley's little girl, tatum, one a week and his brothers knew reed wasn't the same. it was the way he talked about life and how he barely commented on how he was doing that worried his brothers.
somehow, he was still alive. the constant binge drinking was enough to scare anyone. finally, it was riley that had come and visited him today before bad seeds opened. "it had to be someone," he told reed. yeah... somewhere deep down reed was glad that it was his older brother giving him the smack down. reed did hate that riley started out with 'it's been nine months.' yeah, nine months. like that was already way too long to mourn the loss of a loved one. coco dipped out on riley and tatum two years ago. reed knew that riley was never in love with the mother of his kid, but he took her leaving pretty bad. at least riley had tatum to bring him back to earth. reed had no one. his best friend, mary, was still gone at the time, traveling around the world and being a goddamn superhero. and then riley said it. he said, "shelby would be disgusted if she saw you right now." reed was pissed because he knew it was true. reed had met shelby not long after mary left. it always happened like that. he met the next love of his life when he was wallowing because of the last one. reed was one that constantly fell in love and friends would shake their heads. but he knew he was in love. he could feel it, you know? make fun of him all you wanted because it was true. riley's parting words were something like, "pick yourself up and stop drinking. your embarrassing ."
yeah, like it really was that easy. that was three hours ago and reed was sitting in the same spot he had been. in his office at the bar. next to him a bottle of guinness. yeah. let's just say he'll stop drinking tomorrow. he was doing work, though. going over the books and what he would need to order more of for the club, paying the electrical bill and all that fun owner-like stuff. the thing was, he had no idea what he would do if bad seeds would no longer be his. it was just a constant thing for him. every night, it would never change. there was dancing on bars, drinking, and singing to songs. he needed it. there was a knock on his office door. "come in," he called and one of the coyotes, shannon, poked her head out the door. "there's some asshole that won't stop touching us on the counter." reed got up. overly drunk middle aged men were the biggest fools in the bar. "yeah, yeah, i got it." shannon smiled and walked back out the door. the bar was rowdy as it usually was when he walked down the hall and into the main room. he didn't even have to ask shannon who it was because it was clear the fat man with beer all over his shirt was the guy making an ass of himself. reed looked back by the entrance where rob, one of their bouncers and security was standing with his hands crossed across his chest. reed got his attention somehow and motioned him to get over here. it was struggle because fat man didn't know why he was being ushered out the door. he even tried to touch a few more of reed's coyotes on the way out. rob tossed him on his ass out the door in true bar-style and reed went back into the bar and got behind the counter to help make more drinks and take more money.
he surveyed the people closest to the counter seeing if anyone needed anything he could at least provide. his eyes scanned by a girl that had her head tipped back, drinking from her flask. it was a double take because reed knew it couldn't be who he was thinking of. it was a mirage, a figment of his buzzed imagination, for sure. he reached across the slightly sticky bar and outstretched his arm to grab hers and pulled her forward. shit. either someone looked exactly like his ex wife or his ex wife was here in his bar. reed was confused and his confusion was evident on his face. without thinking he reached over pulled her face as best he could towards his over the counter just kissed her. no, 'hey are you...?' reed went for a kiss. he knew it was her then.
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Post by ashleypresleyadams on Nov 24, 2011 21:40:11 GMT -6
. JESUS CHRIST
i'm alone again .
Most people make it a point to mark 'traveling the world' as their life goal, live in different countries for a year at a time, and experience new ways of life. Ashley always had goals to visit different countries, having never left the west coast of America, but she never had too great of an interest in permanently staying. She wanted an American marriage, a real one. She wanted a marriage that would be fulfilling enough to cross off the memory of her prior Vegas mistakes. Hell, she would have even been content spending her whole life in Valkyrie, California, raising a child, the right way, the way she always wished she was raised, although you'd really have to push her to admit that- she refused to complain about her upbringing at all, everyone has issues, she knew that, there was no reason hers were any worse. But the whole family ideal was always a huge ideal to her. Living happily, and not excessively rich, just perfectly comfortable with a husband and a child. She wanted the cheesy family orientated traditions. She wanted to sit down at the dinner table with mashed potatoes and a roasted chicken that she made prior to her husband coming home from work. She wanted to be able to sit at that table and make 'cheers' with her husband and child over two bottles of beer, and a sippy cup full of apple juice. She wanted to be able to have those types of memories. It was always a goal of hers, second to opening a treatment center, but still really high up there. She had a knack for picturing it, and daydreaming about it constantly, and at one point in her life, she had replaced her husbands blank face with the face of her first husband. Twenty three years old, and she was already to say she had a first husband, she would have been ashamed if she regretted it enough, but that night, it had to have been one of her happiest, and she could never regret a pure joy like that. However, she was back to picturing that blank face, actually, to be honest, she hadn't even bothered picturing it. It went from at one point in her life, filling her with hope, and now, well now it was just something that made her cringe. She didn't have much confidence in her love life at this point, it was overall just a train wreck.
Now don't take that the wrong way, when she was gone, of course there were the occasional flings, seeing as she had always been a sucker for accents, and Australia was full of them. Upon arriving, Ashley was accompanied by one and a half people, her brother, and what was growing in her stomach. After a month of being there, it was down to just her and her brother. That's what had made the beginning so difficult. She never wanted to leave in the first place. Did she feel terrible about leaving without a goodbye? Of course, she spent days locked away, laying in bed, consistently throwing a ball against the wall, singing along to country songs that she swore she'd never sing that spoke lyrics of needing one last kiss. If it had been your typical break up, if there had been closure, if she hadn't just given up what would have completed her dream- she might have been able to move on, but even that was a stretch. For the first two years her day were filled with struggling to survive in a land foreign to her, and regretting the choice of leaving. She knew it was for the best though, maybe not emotionally, maybe not even for her, but it was for Reeds best, he wasn't ready for a kid. When she first saw the red plus sign that fateful morning, her memory back tracked and replayed his words from when he found out Scarlet was pregnant, "I'm not sure I'm ready to be a father, I don't know if I'd be any good at it at this point." She couldn't force him, or even herself, to be ready for something like that, not with everything they already had going on.
Eventually she got a job in a small town diner, a quaint, quirky diner, filled with usual costumers of police officers on their coffee break, and teenage couples trying to find 'adventurous romance' on two a.m. diner dates. She spent nearly her whole stay in Australia in that very diner, so it would be suspected that eventually she'd meet somebody there. She did, not once, but five times. The first was a lovely gentleman who went by the name of Dylan Leonard Baggett. He was new to the police force, and never let a day go by without stopping in and leaving her a sticky note with each tip he left her. At first they were filled with thank you's, until after the progression of two months, it became a request for a date, which she had forced herself to accept, he was a sweet man, the type she needed in her life at that point, she was miserable, hopeless even, she needed somebody to depend on. He had potential, a lot of it, in fact, as their relationship grew, from the outside it looked as if though they both had a lot of potential. He was entirely infatuated with her, and she was easy to give the appearance that she had the same infatuation with him. For a while, she even convinced herself she loved him, until he took her too his apartment. He never quite understood why she broke it off, she simply told him they weren't right for each other. The real reason she broke it off? He had neither a play station or Ramen in his cabinets, which instantly meant he was nowhere as good for her as Reed. She'll even admit, her logic was ridiculous, but it was always a lot deeper than that. He was her first and most prominent fling in Australia. After him her relationships consisted of a 4am sex in the diners back room, an occasion that she shared with three men, and one scummy Australian bastard that tried to convince her to help him start his own 'professional online movies'. Ha, he was a joke.
As much as she told herself that Reed had been completely removed from her thoughts, he was always there. He was there in every thing she came across, she was able to find a piece of him, a reminder, all subconsciously. She had a reason not to go to new friends weddings, a reason not to go to the gym, a reason to avoid anything that had any connect to him. She was headstrong about never seeing him again. She reached a point where in self preservation, she had herself convinced that he abandoned her when she needed him by going to jail, it made her feel at ease to think it wasn't all her fault. Anyway, if he could abandon her for jail, he'd have no problem just erasing her from his life, she was sure he had, so that's where her attempts to erase him came in. She was making progress in doing so too, at least, she thought she was. Until she came here, she should have known better. This whole town, even this very bar, a bar she never stepped foot in before, brought back all vivid memories of him.
Her hands brushed through the front roots of her hair, pushing her bangs back, only to let them fall back right above her eyes. Her mind was racing, and the alcohol wasn't even providing an improvement, not as much as it normally did. She took it as a sign that she was yet to have enough. Just as as was ready to lift her flask again, her eyes locked with another pair across the bar from her. A pair of eyes so well known to her, she felt her heart stop. It lasted for a brief four or so seconds, seconds that felt like hours as those very green eyes starring back at her flooded her mind with everything she worked so hard to forget. Directly after that came the feelings that she worked so hard to believe she never felt, all of it came back.
It couldn't be, of all places on her first night back, the two of them couldn't have possibly have ended up in the same place. Valkyrie wasn't that small of a town. Her lips separated just enough to begin a name of a boy which she refused to let pass through her lips in years, but she couldn't even make it to the first vowel before she felt his hands, his rough, strong hands bring her face closer to his to kiss her. She dreamed of this moment once, not this exact moment, but of them meeting again and him greeting her with a kiss. In the dream she pulled away to slap him, in real life, she couldn't find a single reason to, the thought didn't even pass through her mind. She leaned in with him as far as she could stretch her body, and dropping her flask without care, she brought her hands up ever so graciously to let her fingers brush through the sides of his hair and land lightly on the back of his head. A rush came over her, a rush of emotion, no thought, just emotion, a feeling she'd gone without for as long as she could remember.
When she was young, meaningful kisses were described as being able to feel fireworks around you. Ashley had to disagree. No fireworks were involved her, instead, she could only describe is as feeling as though her body was wrapped in a breath taking blanket of air, that held onto her tight, and carried her into the sky, lifting her off the ground, away from trouble, away from any thought that ever crossed her mind, a feeling that almost made her dizzy. Slowly, she pulled back, letting her hands trail and cup his face. Her eyes widened as they stared into his, the same eyes she'd been secretly yearning to look into. A mess of emotion expressed itself on her face, confusion, fear, regret, joy, peace, happiness, all of it made apparent through the way she looked at him. She began again, in a subtle whisper, admitting, without thought, what in the back of her mind she knew to be true all along.
"I was never able to forget you."
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Post by reed on Nov 26, 2011 18:55:13 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #330000 solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;]AND THERE'S NO GUARANTEE
THAT THIS WILL BE EASY The Lyrics: 'endlessly' the cab The Outfit: here Tagged ashley <3 The Notes yay!
--- AND THEN, HE WAS PISSED. he regretted it the moment he reached for her face. and when he backed up to survey what he really just did he said, "god dammit." if he had a beer in hand he probably would have whipped it to the ground in frustration. he'd punch the wall if he could but he didn't want one: a broken hand and two: people turning to him and asking him if he was ok. because no, he wasn't ok and what would they really say if he said that? he wanted shelby to be with him right now, he wanted to be on better terms with mary, and now his ex wife just decided to show her face again and in his bar. shit like that only happened in the movies, right? he knew he hadn't seen mary in five years, but ashley? shit, that felt like a lifetime ago. she left after he was jailed on charges he was later cleared of. but it wasn't like he had the best track record back then either. he could sort of see why she ended up leaving valkyrie, but... call him old-fashioned but they did make vows to each other. in front of an elvis impersonator or not.
damn, he could use a shot and a cigarette right now. and that's when she said it. "I was never able to forget you." the bar was loud and rowdy but he could hear her perfectly clear. he pinched the bridge of his nose. maybe if he closed his eyes and opened them, she wouldn't be there anymore. it was just the alcohol. he opened his eyes and nope, she was still there. "shit, ashley," he said to her. when ashley first left, he did wonder if he would ever see her again. he would sometimes come up with what he would say to her if he ever did see her again, but those weeks turned into months, and those months, became years and years. he just kept drinking and those 'why did you leave's and 'but i loved you's just washed away like a bad hangover. he never would have guessed his first words to her would be what he said. so... cold and distant. reed just... couldn't do it here. he pointed down to the end of the bar where the hall way was that lead to the bathrooms and his office. "i'll meet you down there, we have to talk."
he shuffled through the coyotes and when they asked him what was up he just shrugged them off and said he had to do something in his office. once he got to the end and got out from behind the bar, he saw ashley again. he cocked his head towards the hallway and led the way to his office. he locked the door behind them because he didn't want anyone to disturb them. he stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked across the room. he almost had no idea what he wanted to start the conversation. he said that they needed to talk, but why was this so damn hard? he could have asked where she had been or how she wandered into his bar, but instead he just said, "why are you back in valkyrie?" he didn't have bad seeds when she left him. no, he pretty much had nothing when she left him. he had no job, lived in a shady apartment building that was making meth in the basement, and absolutely no plan in life. now, he didn't just work at another bar, he owned it.
reed wasn't going to ignore the history between them, he wasn't dumb nor was he embarrassed by it. really, besides mary, he never did see the girls he dated after he dated them. alex was there then gone, same with nikki. then he told mary he loved her then didn't see her for another five years, and then there was his wife. or now, ex wife. but he always knew ashley would be the hardest of them all to see again. she had been his everything back then. reed honestly thought he would never see her again. it had been very hard on him when he left. ask his brothers. ask mary who eventually came to valkyrie. everything was a mess. ashley honestly left him during his all-time low. and to have all that shit happen to you was bad enough, then add your wife leaving you. even worse. thankfully, riley was prepared to do whatever he could to help reed. he was nineteen when he wanted to opened the bar, but first, he had to use riley's name to lease it out and be able to get alcohol permits and everything that reed wasn't able to do yet. reed didn't believe he would be able to last till he was twenty one, so riley was his saving grace at the time, especially since that was around the time when riley had a lot of personal shit going on in his life, too. coco was pregnant, riley was still in school, and he was able to help his younger brother... somehow between all that... buy a bar. however, secretly, even if he was becoming an alcoholic and had a hard time seeing the upside of things, he looked to be very successful, and if he was seeing ashley for the first time since she left, he was glad he was looking like he got his shit together than being the poor irish bastard h used to be.
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Post by ashleypresleyadams on Nov 26, 2011 20:50:26 GMT -6
. JESUS CHRIST
i'm alone again .
Now it doesn't matter who you are or what type of situation, nobody necessarily wants to hear the words god dammit or shit after a kiss they've dreamed about and wished to happen for years. She'd gone through this event over and over in her mind, countless times, but never was it ever followed by those words. Maybe it was selfish, and wrong, she was the one who left after all, but she always expected to be the one with the hard words. She always expected to be the one with the regret in the kiss. But right now, to her, it was something she'd been waiting for, and not for a second would she take it back. And the regret that took over his face and tone, it was all almost too much to handle. Here she was, in a her old town she hadn't stepped foot in for years, lost and confused after all the change that had taken place, supplied with only a duffle bag or clothes, three kit-kats, and exactly five hundred and twenty eight dollars to survive with, confronted with her ex husband, who she still had overwhelming feelings for, although she'd never admit it, soaking in the joy of a kiss long overdue- and he regretted it. The scenario almost forced a sarcastic chuckle or sheer disappointment past her lips.
This is when the question of why she'd even bothered coming back really began to surface in her mind. She'd traveled all the way back to Valkyrie, all for him. In the back of her mind, she knew he'd be okay, she had absolutely no reason to come back. Everything was finally running smooth in her life, for the first time she could honestly remember. There was no chaos, no troubles, she had a plan, and she was actually going through with it, and she dropped all of it. She left her condominium- the first place she'd moved into all on her own, her job- which she'd finally received a raise high enough that would be able to get her into colleges. she left her family, her friends, all of it, for Reed Turner, for this moment. She left it for the dreams she'd never admit to, not even if they ever got on good terms again, which at this point, was highly doubted. She left for the chance to finally get a chance to play playstation with him, for the chance to finally spend time with him without chaos and havoc, she knew it was possible, she left so she could love him, and do it right this time around. She left too late, and she knew that by the small sum of words he spoke to her. And that knowledge, it nearly forced her to mimic his words, she held back.
She couldn't be the one to tell him to fuck himself, and throw 'how could you'd' in his face. After all this time, she'd been absolutely convinced he was the one who left her all alone with all their issues. She'd never let herself look at the raw, brutal truth of it all. She'd left him, while he was in jail, his life in shambles. She'd left what they had, he hadn't. He had the plan to leave jail and come back to her. She could have held on until he had gotten out and everything was cleaned up. But she didn't, she thought too quick. She tried to think for the two of them, and all she did was worsen things. An abortion here was always an option, an option she neglected in fear of everyone, including him finding out. She should have stayed, and now the guilt began to surface along with her regret of coming back, and everything just then began to spin along with her mind. It could have been the whisky causing the visuals, but she knew that was false, and followed that with another swig, cleaning the flask dry.
Staying close behind him, she followed his footsteps. She knew since she'd walked onto the airplane that the two of them had a lot of talking to do, but just like all his other words, she expected those out of her own mouth too. Hearing his voice speak them puzzled her. But oh, his voice. She shook those thoughts out of her head, she couldn't let herself feel anymore attachment to him than she already had at this point. Surveying his body, every step, ever movement of every muscle that she'd memorized so well, they all made it so much harder to make the positive thoughts leave. Any expectations of them being okay, she knew she'd have to get rid of. She knew she needed him at this point, and if she needed to settle with a friendship, she'd have to accept that. Now, she knew just as well, she'd never be able to accept that and grow to be old and bitter, but she also knew that it was something that was completely on her.
More puzzlement filled her as she watched him lock the door behind them, an office. Now, if she knew correct, employees weren't the ones to have offices they could lock. But.. how? How could Reed Turner, whom she last saw without a dollar to his name, behind a glass that they had to use a phone to talk through, own a bar, especially one with this level of success. Maybe it was an assumption, but a part of it made her feel the slightest bit better for her decisions. Maybe her leaving did him good, just as she had planned for. At least it did one of them good. She looked for a place to sit, or rest against. The stress was completely overwhelming her at this point. She settled on gently leaning against his desk in an awkward manner, the way people do when they're uncomfortable and unfamiliar with their surroundings. Typical Ashley, would have raised herself just to sit on the desk, but this wasn't a time with that type of ease.
Then he asked the question that hadn't stopped racing through her mind, 'why are you back in Valkyrie?' Now, she let the sarcastic chuckle bring itself forward. "I missed the Walmart, you know, where I was, they didn't have any Walmarts, at all, isn't that ridiculous" She was avoiding the truth of the question. "Reed, for now, can we just cut the obvious questions and ask each other what we really want to know? She shifted. She didn't want this conversation right now, she wanted another taste of his lips, she wanted his embrace, she wanted so much more than this type of conversation, the very conversation she knew she'd have to have upon returning, because honestly, she still hadn't thought of her excuse for leaving. An idea popped into her mind, if she distracted him with question, she could avoid his while he answered, it'd buy her some time, but more than that, she was dying to hear his voice, in a way other than him asking her questions about decisions she'd regretted. "The last time I saw you, we.. we were.. married," she nearly chocked on the last word, "and you, well, i, or.. we, loved each other. and everything was going to shit, but we still had some happiness between us, because we had each other." Right now would be the right time to think before she spoke, but she was currently far too focused on his eyes and her breathing than the words pouring out of her mouth. "Who is she, Reed? Because honestly, you know as well as I do this would have went down a lot different if the two of us held onto that"
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