whisper in a dead man's ear ,

[devorah ariella cohen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #39153f solid 30px; ] The days were slipping past the good things never last OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: desse! --- SHE DID NOT LIKE THIS. SHE DID NOT LIKE this at all. She felt... emotional around him? Maybe, she didn't know if that would be the right way to put it. She felt emotional around her family too but she was always able to play every thing off as though it were nothing. Always. She was known for being able to keep a cold face with a smile as she threatened to cut men's balls off. She was not the girl Jesse knew anymore. She was not sure if she was ever truly the girl he fell in love with. She was humor and the physical maybe even mind but she had a feeling he would feel she, this Dev, the real Dev, he would think she was a different person because her heart was more jaded than he realized. Dev always felt like he put her on a pedestal. A pedestal she didn't deserve, and she no longer wanted it. She was not the good girl he thought she was. I mean, she had never been that demur flower around him or anything, that would be too much for even her to be able to act but still, he had never seen her stone business face. Except for maybe when she saw him for the first time a few minutes ago and that had not lasted very long. It felt strange to see him, not just because of the past four years but more because of the last three months. She had loved him and when she found out he had died, she had been ashamed of her last words to him. Dev had felt nothing but guilt, it was why she could not face his family at his funeral. She was broken from it. At first she didn't cry. She didn't cry at all for the first few days. Not knowing why, the tears just were not coming. She had felt nothing, just a blank state. Dev zoned out all the time, never slept, never ate, and she would not even be able to remember what she was thinking about. It was not until she finally broke down with Ira by her side over seeing a gun run believe it or not. It was night time, some of her boys had just arrived. They were in the garage, prying open the boxes and she was walking by them, checking them before telling them where each box went. She glanced up and from a mixture of grief and exhaustion, she saw Bubbe standing by the garage door. Bubbe smiled the smile she always gave Dev when she knew Dev was lying about something important. Bubbe then reached behind the door and took someone's hand. Jesse, wearing what she had last seen him in, stepped out, hugged Bubbe, and then Bubbe held his shoulders and nodded towards Dev. Dev knew she must have looked like a crazy woman as she stared at an empty doorway as the then dead Jesse looked over his shoulder at her an smiled as though everything was perfect and that he was just happy to see her and nodded. And then they disappeared. At the time, Dev actually considered she may have seen their spirits but as here he was, that clearly wasn't the case. It had been that night though. She excused herself and had Ira finish the inspection. She went to the roof of the house and finally cried. She cried for hours and only went back inside when the sun rose. It was a hard thing to lose someone close to you. And when that person comes back from something as final as death, it's joyous but also terrifying. Dev started to get better after that night. She began feeling things again. She began smiling again. Now that he was alive again, while she was happy his heart was still beating, she grieved, she mourned, she was moving on, slowly but she was. Now that he was back it was terrifying because part of her would always be worried that it was a dream, and as soon as she accepts that he is actually there, that he really is alive, she'd wake up and he'd be dead again. Another worry was that, if it wasn't a dream, eventually he would still die, and if he goes first, she'll have to grieve again, she didn't know if she could survive it a second time. Dev looked up at him as he touched her arm. There it was again, the physical touch that was supposed to prove he was real, it wasn't a dream. "i shouldn't have attacked you with these questions. i'm sorry. you'll have no idea how much it meant to me that you went." Dev breathed in deeply and quietly. Her heart was racing. She felt that painful sore in her throat and closed her eyes as he kissed her cheek. That reassuring but not quite convincing, touch again. "Me too." She replied softly as he said he was sorry. She opened her eyes and looked at him as he began to pull away when she felt it and knew it was coming. She should have pulled away but she couldn't. Her eyes closed as his lips found hers and then she knew, a dream could never fake that feeling in her bones when he kissed her. Dev's hands rested on his shoulders as she began to kiss him back, being reminded of the butterflies in her stomach and the feeling of her heart trying to jump out of her chest. And then she remembered reality. Dev pulled away abruptly stepping back as well as gently pushing him off a bit, "I can't, I'm sorry" She said in a semi breathy and anxious tone. She turned away from him for a moment, arms crossed tightly across her torso. She obviously couldn't trust herself with him. Dev took a deep breath. She turned back to him, her thumb instinctually playing with her grandmother's ring again. A ring she kept on...an important finger... She looked up at Jesse and raised her hand to show him the ring, "I'm engaged." She lied, trying to keep her tone steady, but seeing the situation, she wasn't worried that her voice still came out shaky. one thing that's still the same In my heart you have remained

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BENNY MICHAEL BUBLE

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[jesse cain lennox]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #292424 solid 30px; ] IF MY HEART COULD BEAT IT WOULD BREAK MY CHEST OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEV NOTE: this couldn't be more late ---HE knew life was going on around him. everyone that was close to him had been living their lives, moving on, doing new and different things. while jesse was overseas, he felt like his life in america was at a standstill. missions, the middle east, russia... that happened when he was asleep, and when he was back in america, it was like he had just woken up and he believed things to resume just the way they had been the three months, six, or year and a half he was gone. he'd look at avery and ask when she got her hair cut, to which she replied 'months ago, jess.' or he's ask his parents how finals were going. they would look at each other and tell jesse that it was february. maybe that was his problem. things changed when he was gone and he liked to believe that it didn't. of course jesse thought of dev and him going back to normal. like it had been, just like that. he would be lying if he said he didn't think it. but he just knew that this couldn't be the case anymore. it really seemed like she had completely moved on. he had just been one chapter that had been long since read. maybe that was why jesse kissed her. he had to. he was being selfish, though. it was quite clear that dev was exactly what jesse needed. however, he was slowly seeing that he wasn't what dev needed, deserved. that was why he was selfish. jesse knew he would probably never meet someone like her ever again. five years is a long time to be with somebody. jesse never wanted to give that up. and there was a sliver of hope ignited again in him when he felt dev's hands on his shoulders. she was kissing him back. he missed this. jesse was betting that there was a part of her that missed it too. he just wanted to tell her that they could have this again. that they could be happy. he would change. he could be whatever she needed. but then, he felt her pushing him away. he back up a little bit, frowning. "I can't, I'm sorry," jesse's frown deepened. can't or won't? when she turned away he thought she was going to leave. it would have made sense if they just ended it like that. he would give her space, it was all he could do. he didn't exactly know how long he was going to be in valkyrie. he went from being the quarterback of the fbi to the water boy. even when he would be released to do his job again, maybe he could just do united states jobs. that was all he did until he was recruited to the middle east. it had been convenient. he'd catch a plane to florida or new york, and be back in valkyrie within a few days. jesse would be completely ok with that. he didn't think he was going to be going on any oversea adventures for awhile. it wasn't that he was scared what happened in russia would happen again the next time, it's just, the oversea missions truly did take a chunk of his life out every one he went on. it really was exhausting at times. and he never knew how some of his teammates did it with families. if jesse had been dating someone during his time overseas, he would be wishing that he was home with that person. he knew that people did this all the time with those in the military, but it just felt weird to him. "I'm engaged." she turned back around to show him the ring on her finger. he hadn't even noticed it before. jesse stared at it for a long moment, slow to register it in his head. she was engaged. it was almost funny. if they never broke up, right now, she would be married to him, he was sure of it. look what every choice did to a person. dev and jesse would have been on a completely different path if he never went to iraq. "you're engaged," he repeated back to her, dumbfounded. how long had she been engaged? how long until the wedding? how long was it before she started dating again? why did she kiss him back if she was engaged? all these questions swarmed their way into his head at lightening speed. where to start? "do i... do i know him?" he asked her, finally looking at her in the eye. he knew the chances of knowing whoever she was engaged to were slim. he had been in valkyrie as often as he hadn't been in valkyrie over his lifetime. jesse didn't want to know who she was engaged to. he would rather it be some guy she met. at least that would be easier to accept for jesse. this was all wrong. he crossed his hands across his chest, an infamous sign of his that meant he was closing himself off, which he never did to dev in the past. BUT I CAN SEE YOU'RE UNIMPRESSED

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY JOSS WHEDON!

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[devorah ariella cohen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #39153f solid 30px; ] The days were slipping past the good things never last OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: desse! --- GOD DAMNIT, WHY DID SHE LET HIM KISS HER? More importantly, why did she let herself kiss him back? God was she asking to hurt them both more or what? Dev watced Jesse's facial features closely as he seemed to take in the falsified news. Dev tore her eyes away and looked over at the car where Uncle Ira was still waiting. The man seemed pensive and quiet but with a clear air of concern and defensiveness up around him as he watched Dev and Jesse from afar. He would probably try to chew her out for kissing Jesse. She wouldn't blame him, part of her wanted to ask him about things. Ira was her elder by a fair amount. Dev was still young. She was an adult, she was strong and because of what she did and who her family was, she came across as more mature and older than she was. Her presence commanded respect, but ever since Bubbe died it was like she had no one outside of the business that she could seek advice from. It was not appropriate for anyone in her family to question her word. If they had concerns, they could bring them up privately and speak with respect but since she was now the head of the Cohen family, they would not be able to truly criticize her. Her Uncle would never offer her advice. She would need to ask him for an opinion, but if she did that, she came off as weak because she was his superior now. But Ira had loved and lost, she wanted truth, she wanted someone to look up to for life experience like she did with Bubbe. She would have been able to talk with Bubbe, Bubbe was never a Cohen, she was not a part of the crime. She accepted it but never joined in, she really only stayed because of Dev and she had befriended the others in the family. It was just now, family was about blood, strength, love but as the leader, she could not be seen to question what she wanted in her personal life because it could show instability in the business side of her life. She didn't feel old enough for her life. I mean, usually she did. Usually she was collected and confident, but right then, she felt like the young new college student version of herself, trying to decide if the really cute son of her professor was worth the risk. Confused, nervous, flustered but most of all, enamored, as always. She looked back at Jesse as he repeated the news of her engagement. It was the first thing that came to her mind as a way to keep a wall between them, as long as she could keep it up. Lies of this nature did not usually hold up for too long, although how long would Jesse even be in Valkyrie this time? That's only how long it had to last. You know what was really interesting, if it weren't for Jesse, she probably would be married. If she hadn't fallen in love with him, and then been hurt as he left, she never would have had the determination to rise within her family. If he hadn't left, she would probably be married to him. If she had never known him, she would probably be married to one of the young Lansky's. He was 28, and worked as a lieutenant to her, but they were initially intended for each other. Sort of like if they didn't find others. But then Jesse came into her life and he became the new prospect. After he left, she had been so hurt and turned off by the idea of marriage, she took the idea off the menu. Dev didn't know how he would respond, she just waited for him to say something when finally, "do i... do i know him?" Dev looked up at him and nodded. Without thinking much she said the first name that popped into her head, "Rocky." She replied, saying the name of one of her good friends. A friend that she had known since she was young and a friend most people though she had chemistry with. He would probably be the most believable. Although she hadn't thought about how Rocky might be the one to hurt Jesse more. There were many times that people had told Dev that she and rocky were going to get married one day, while she was with Jesse. While Jesse was around even if it was meant as a joke. She doubted Jesse ever found them too funny. "We started dating awhile back and last month..." Dev trailed off a bit, Jesse didn't need the mock details. She shook her head. "I'm sorry I didn't mention it sooner, I wanted to wait for a more appropriate moment." She began. Dev forced a smile and shrugged, "I mean, it is happy news, I didn't want it to be in the middle of a fight but I guess... I'm sorry." She added, not sure what to say to make this feel any better or go down any smoother. Dev dropped her arms to her side and looked over to the car where Ira was before turning back to Jesse. She took a step closer and caught his eye, "I'm going to go but" She reached out and touched his arm briefly, "I'm glad you're back and I'm really happy you're okay." She said honestly with a warm smile, despite sadness in her eyes. She squeezed his arm slightly before dropping her hand and walking off towards Ira. ((didn't know if you wanted to end this here or post again, maybe we could start on the drunk thread?)) one thing that's still the same In my heart you have remained

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BENNY MICHAEL BUBLE

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