whisper in a dead man's ear ,

[jesse cain lennox]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #292424 solid 30px; ] IF MY HEART COULD BEAT IT WOULD BREAK MY CHEST OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEV --- JESSE WAS NEVER ONE FOR ATTENTION. he just flew in from valkyrie a couple days ago and he couldn't escape the nods from his father, the soups from his mother, the pats on the back from his brother, and the smiles from his sisters. it's like for the past forty-eight hours, his family wouldn't leave his sight. he was sure they would be watching him sleep if it wasn't for the fact that he wasn't sleeping well. he loved his family, he did, but they were hovering, and jesse did not like hovering. his parents still didn't know what he did for a living. they knew he was fbi. they knew that he worked for national security, and they knew he dealt with terrorists. besides that, jesse always kept mum on it. he felt like they might look at him differently if he tortured people of interest to the united states. he was claimed dead three months ago. there had been a funeral there and everything. he felt bad for his parents. they had to bury and empty coffin. he wondered how much the fbi really told him about his "death." he knew as well as anyone that the fbi liked to keep secrets buried. less information out there the better. he died in a fire, and that was what they told his family. he died and there was nothing left to recover. they still got some remains from his other guys, so naturally it was the assumption that jesse had been in there too. this morning, he had gotten up early. jesse just needed to breathe and staying in this house wasn't helping it. in the shower, the water ran over and still stung some of the healing wounds on his back and shoulders. it was strange. less than a week ago he was in some hellhole in po-dunk, russia. and now he was showering in a home he had been living in since he was sixteen years old. he never thought he'd feel hot water again, made you appreciate the little things. when he got out of the shower, he dressed and headed down to the kitchen. he thought he'd be alone, but there was one of his sisters, avery. "morning." he said, greeting her. "i thought today we could go to a movie. you know. like a comedy?" jesse opened up the fridge and took out some milk. "i'd love to ave, but i got things to do today. people to see." he opened up the cupboards, getting out a class. "people to see? everyone you know is here. oh..." pouring a large class and taking a sip. he raised his eyebrow. "oh?" avery shifted in her chair and looked down at the news paper and back up at him. "you know. are you going to see dev?" verbally, he hadn't heard her name in years. now it was jesse turn to look down at the counter. "uh... as far as i know, she's still in new york." he told his sister with definitiveness in his voice, hoping she wouldn't urge on. he hadn't talked to her in almost five years. before he had left for russia, he got in contact with her uncle ira who told her she was in new york. and that was that. it was just easier when he didn't think about... how it all went down. avery looked like she was about to say something else when their mother came down. "want me to make you guys breakfast?" jesse shook his head, "i'm exactly just about to head out." his mother's face dropped. "what? where are you going?" jesse grabbed his coat off the chair. "no. mum, it's ok. there's just something i got to do." he headed out, quickly enough so that they didn't question him. though he knew as he shut the front door of his house, he could imagine what the next words between his mom and sister would be. "should we be worried about him?" avery would say. "no, he's fine." his mother would say, but doubt it. he'd be back, obviously. there was just something he had been wanting to do since he got back to valkyrie. maybe it hadn't hit him yet, maybe in the next couple weeks or in a month it would, but he actually felt ok. besides the physically injuries his sustained, mentally? he felt ok. or maybe he didn't and he was just holding it in. jesse just wanted to push the experience out of his mind. for the better. jesse wasn't quite sure when he would start working again. since he wasn't actually dead, he was still an agent. but he knew the agency wanted to give him time to... recover. his recovery was in valkyrie but he had to attend weekly psych evals in the los angeles field office to "monitor" his adjustment back into the normal every life of things. he walked. he needed the air that relaxed him as he walked through the neighborhoods to the valkyrie cemetery. somewhere he had never visited when he lived here, but now that he was buried there, jesse felt like he needed to go there. it was still kind of early in the morning when he got to the gates, but visiting hours were open and jesse walked right in. there were several cemeteries in valkyrie, but he knew he was buried in this one. it took him about fifteen minutes, but he found his tombstone. jesse lennox it read. october 13, 1983 - february 9, 2012 beloved son and brother. the fbi had to guess his date of death, probably on autopsy reports of the other bodies found. jesse knew it wasn't his fault, but he was sorry that his family had to go through the grief of him being gone. jesse couldn't imagine. he put his hands deep in his pockets ad continued to stare at his tombstone, standing on the ground where an empty coffin lay below him. he was trying to feel something, but he couldn't. pulling his hands out, he reached in his coat pocket for his pack of cigarettes. he sure missed smoking, even if it was bad for you. he lit it and inhaled the nicotine. jesse exhaled and he looked back up towards the entrance and stopped. jesse frowned only because he couldn't believe if what he was seeing was really what he was seeing. walking into the cemetery was dev. he knew it had been over four years, but it felt like longer. before he knew his legs were pushing him towards her. he felt like a greeting was... awkward or something so he didn't say anything until she noticed him coming up to her. "it's pretty early in the morning, love. visiting someone?" BUT I CAN SEE YOU'RE UNIMPRESSED

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY JOSS WHEDON!

[/center]

[devorah ariella cohen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #39153f solid 30px; ] The days were slipping past the good things never last OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: desse! --- WHEN DEVORAH COHEN FIRST MOVED TO VALKYRIE, California her and her family lived in one split level house. The house was not too small but it was far from being a large enough house. Even without parents of siblings, Devorah, or Dev as most people called her, still had to share the home with her bubby, her Uncle Ira, her cousin and his wife, and their three kids, and her other cousin who was closer to her age. Then her Uncle David and his wife and their children and their children's children lived in another medium sized house next door. Things were very crowded. Things change though and Dev really enjoyed taking the credit for it. It was not like they were poor before, they just had too many people to take care of with their current intake. Dev was no about to get rid of family members do the other option was increase their wealth. And that was her. Devorah Cohen had a name going for herself in the underworld. She was bringing her family back. And to her, family was anyone who worked for her. There were many people in the houses that were not blood related. Now they made enough for the family to move into the better neighborhood. None of them had obnoxious, gaudy mansion or anything. No, they bought four large houses, all just next to each other or across the street. So while they were now all comfortable, it was still rare that they were not all over running around people's homes as if they all did live in one giant mansion. Dev lived in a house with her Uncle Ira, a couple of her cousins. As much as she loved them, there were no children or persons under eighteen in her house. No, her house because she was in it had a higher chance of being raided, so only family that was highly active in the business lived with her. Which is why her house was not the active destination for the family. No, that was the house right next door where Dev was headed right now as she stepped over the property line in the yard and made her way to front door. In this house lived her Aunt Jen, Uncle David, their children, and their children's children. It was fairly early but Dev knew them well, apart from the two teenagers, they would all be up and running around. Dev opened the front door and walked through the hallway, not even thinking as she stepped over a few toys and went into the back that doubled as a large kitchen and a rec room. She smiled as she entered the room seeing a couple of the younger kids noshing on some cut up apples as they watched Prince of Egypt. She walked over to the kitchen part of the room where her Aunt Jen and her daughter Davida were preparing more food. Dev leaned over the counter and kissed Aunt Jen on the cheek as they greeted each other. Davida smiled as she turned around from working on the stove and set down some breakfast rounds just freshly made and reached over to give Dev a hug, "Morning bubbala! I thought you and Ira were going to see Bubbe?" Dev nodded and chuckled, "We are, he just shleps around in the mornings. We'll be leaving soon." She replied and almost simultaneously she heard the back door opening, a hard thud and a family older gentlemen's voice yelling "Shtup!" Dev couldn't help but giggle as little Debbie's eyes widened in shock, "ooo uncle ira's gonna be in trouble" She said warningly in a bit of sing song voice, as Ira made his way into the room to see Aunt Jen glaring at him with her hand on her hips. "Oy! watch your mouth!" She scolded the older man who simply shuffled by with a "feh" under his breath as he set down a cardboard box off to the side of the room. Dev waved him over, "Come have a nosh before we go." She said plainly, standing up after taking a bite of a round as Ira and Jen seemed to start bickering over something. Dev called over to the boy still watching Prince of Egypt, "Your ma's done with the food boychick, come join us." She called out to the boy, smiling as he paused the movie and he begrudgingly made his way over. Even so he stopped and hugged Dev's knees tightly. Dev patted the top of his head, "Oh I know, it's just food, movie will still be there." She added as the boy of five finally let go and climbed up to the table. After breakfast, Uncle Ira and Dev said a short good bye before making their way out of the house. Ira opened the passenger door for Dev who put on her hat once she was in the car, using the mirror on the sun shield. She may not follow the faith strongly enough to cover her head all the time, or never let anyone see her hair, but she was going to the cemetery so out of respect for her bubbe's spirit, she would of course cover the top of her head. Just as Uncle Ira made sure to put on his yarmulke once he got into the drivers seat. Dev was also wearing a very pretty silver engagement ring on the ring finger of her left hand. It had belonged to her bubbe, Mazhira was her name. She had been like a mother to Dev after Dev's immediate family was killed. It was not a long ride to the Valkyrie Cemetery, stopping only at a local flower shop called wolfsbane & gillyweed to get a simple, long stemmed daisy, her Bubbe's favorite flower. Ira parked the car and both of them stepped out. Ira offered his arm to Dev who accepted with a smile, she leaned over and gave him a kiss on his cheek. Ira was an amazing man, he was the brother of her father. He was only close to Bubbe because they raised Dev together basically. His wife had died a long time ago, and he had just never been able to bring himself to finding someone new, no matter how much Dev and Bubbe had encouraged him. But despite the fact that he was old fashioned, and the man who raised her, he did not mind the fact that Dev was his boss, his onfirer. That was an impressive man. Dev and Uncle Ira walked arm and arm into the cemetery and made their way over to the lot that had her bubbe when they both looked up and slowed their steps. Dev's smile faded a bit as she turned and looked at Ira a bit more head on, "Uncle, tell me," She began, she pointed to her face, "Do I look like I've seen a ghost?" She asked, only partially kidding as the man she had seen walking towards them was supposedly dead. Ira smiled a small smile and shook his head, That meant he was real. Dev nodded, kicking in her controlled version of herself, because otherwise she would probably have tackled the man walking towards them, kissed him because he was alive and then killed him for leaving. "oy." She said under breath nervously. She took a deep breath before putting on a smile she had perfected. Fake, polite, and as unreadable as she could. Ira put a hand on her shoulder, "You want me to - " He nodded towards the man. Dev shook her head with her smile still up, "No, that's not necessary, I'll be fine. You go ahead and I'll meet you there." She said firmly, friendly tone but one that was clear it was an order not a request. Ira nodded and continued on, nodding slightly to Jesse Lennox as he passed him. Dev turned towards Jesse and walked forward to him. "it's pretty early in the morning, love. visiting someone?" She simply kept the smile up as she looked him up and down before catching him in the eyes, "I was on my way, yes. But I'm glad to see the rumors of your untimely demise were vastly exaggerated." She replied, glad was an understatement, but her tone clearly controlled but not harsh. one thing that's still the same In my heart you have remained

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BENNY MICHAEL BUBLE

[/center]

[jesse cain lennox]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #292424 solid 30px; ] IF MY HEART COULD BEAT IT WOULD BREAK MY CHEST OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEV --- THE quiet in his mind was deafening. jesse was so confused about his entire existence that he felt like everything was clear, but he knew it wasn't. it sounded complicated, and he had felt this way ever since he came to at the united states embassy in russia. agents in d.c. kept patting him on the shoulder, telling him that it was "over", his experience that was. yeah, in reality it might be "over", but truly, it wasn't. he couldn't sleep because every time he slept he dreamt that he was back in the basement. he couldn't eat, because he was so used to food that just made him survive. he couldn't feel because he turned that off a long time ago. and, he couldn't live because he just spent the past few months dead... theoretically. jesse was waiting to wake up and he felt like he hadn't yet. he feared that this was all some kind of hallucination and if he opened his eyes, he'd be in the basement sitting in dirt, filth, and mush and wondering when the door would open for the next round of abuse. it sucked and jesse was just unsure of when this chapter would end and the next one would begin. jesse couldn't believe that of all people to see him right now, it would be devorah. however, even after all this time has passed, he couldn't be too surprised. she was always around when he needed someone. everything just made sense. he inhaled a few more hits as he got closer to dev and her uncle ira. he dropped the half-finished cigarette onto the ground as her uncle broke away from her. he picked up his pace to pass him so jesse could be alone with her. ira nodded at him when he passed, and jesse nodded back. jesse knew her uncle from when they had been dating. jesse liked ira, he was always nice to him and jesse had called him when he got back from iraq. for the five years they had been together, jesse was never around her family as much as she was around his family. he met family close to her like ira, a couple of her cousins, and her bubby, who always liked him. but when deciding whether they were going to his family or her family's place for dinner, it usually was his. jesse never minded. everyone had things they didn't want to share. even if they did date for five years, jesse was never prepared to fully tell her that he tortured people. she knew that his job had had a major toll on him and he could always unwind to her without revealing too much. some nights, he had been laying awake next to her, so close ready to just tell her. but he always decided against it and fell asleep instead. in short, he still loved her. he knew that they did break up. the difference was that they didn't break up because they didn't loved each other anymore or that they didn't get along anymore. they broke up because he had to leave. so, at least for him, all those feelings were still there for him. he didn't want to break up, but it just happened like that anyway. for her though, he didn't know. when he got back from iraq and she wasn't in valkyrie anymore and she changed her number showed him that she didn't want to talk to him. he knew she was pissed when he left and he never expected to just go back to the way things were, but since she wasn't even here, he couldn't even try and mend. everything must happen for a reason though because a few months after the iraq trip, he was called to russia. and look how this job turned out? probably was for the best. he was unsure if she knew about his death. he wasn't even sure how much american coverage it got. six americans found dead in russia would probably run on news channels and newspapers, but fade out when something else happened. whether she saw it or not was up for debate. it could just be him in town again, finally. over four years later. he stopped in front of her and she looked at him. jeans and a jacket covered the cuts, and he was glad she couldn't see them as she gave him the up/down. "I was on my way, yes. But I'm glad to see the rumors of your untimely demise were vastly exaggerated." jesse rubbed his hand along his jawline. "you heard about it, then?" he asked and shook his head. "the fbi thought i was dead..." he started trying to word his next sentence. "i was held captive, but i'd think i was dead, too." he smiled a little and shrugged his shoulders up and down. jesse didn't blame the fbi in pronouncing him dead. all the evidence pointed him there in the building anyway. and he knew they probably wouldn't have been able to find him if they believed he wasn't in the building. the way jesse saw it, he was dead whether they found him or not, pronouncing him dead three months ago just saved his family the trouble of thinking he was missing all this time. "i was just... visiting my grave. thought i should for some reason. just to see." jesse looked back at the black headstone that was his. he still didn't get out of it what he wanted. it was very weird to be looking at your name on a headstone while you physically stood on the ground you were supposed to be under. maybe jesse had been looking for some kind of self-realization, but as he had stared, it never came. but then he looked up, and there was dev. coincidence? maybe, but jesse liked to think that it wasn't. maybe this all was supposed to happen. "i tried calling," he started. "after iraq. how have you been, love?" BUT I CAN SEE YOU'RE UNIMPRESSED

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY JOSS WHEDON!

[/center]

[devorah ariella cohen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #39153f solid 30px; ] The days were slipping past the good things never last OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: desse! --- IT WAS KIND OF AN INTERESTING IDEA, THAT IF SOMEONE were to glance at Jesse and Dev together, they would probably, if forced, assume the girl with cute, retro dress with the soft blue hat was the one with legal activities and assume the man with the muscular form, kind of scruffy clothes and visible tattoos was the criminal. Neither of them were innocent by any means but it was an interesting toss up of the visual stereotypes. She has known the man in front of her for almost ten years now. Jesse Lennox. A man who knew very few details about her life but at the same time, she had probably let him know her better than anyone else, except for maybe her close family, but outside of her family, he knew her best. Probably better the Lansky himself, Lansky being the only boss she had in the kosher nostra now. She loved her family. She really did. She was not one of those people in the underground that used their families as expendable resources to increase their own wealth while preaching about family loyalty in order to control the people around her. She would lose herself if she lost one of her boys. She couldn't count how many times in the past four years where a stronger organization would proposition her with an opportunity to gain her wealth but it would require knowingly sacrificing a man or two to either prison or death. No, that wasn't something Dev was down for. She had smiled her smile at the man told him very clearly and in a calm voice that if he wanted their help he better find a better way then asking her to sacrifice her men. He replied saying the lower levels were expendable, in all organizations, even the legal ones. After all, that's why jobs are cut at Walgreens right? fire a cashier or two, a couple hundred factory workers and the execs get a big fat bonus check. To her that just justified herself. The way she saw it was that it meant the Executives for big time corporations in the country were far more corrupt than her. Her response to the man was that if he saw his lower levels as expendable, then he should sacrifice his own and not try to force her's off the ledge and if he tried to fuck with her boys again, she'd literal have his balls in a jar. She cared about her family, she cared about the men who worked for her. It was still too much of a tradition for women to be on the sidelines in her family. The women who were her age in the family were, for the most part, all married off with children, playing the baleboste... baleboste, it meant homemaker, but more than that, a woman in charge of her home and makes sure people know it. It was all fine and well. Her cousin Davida was a baleboste. Her Aunt Jen was a baleboste. They were strong women, but not exactly the type of girl Dev ever saw herself being able to be. She enjoyed being in charge, not just respected, but actually in control, with the family's loyalty residing in her. She might not mistreat them or make them fear her but they listened to her, even men like Ira who were older MEN who had much more experience. They still looked to her. Dev had never told Jesse about the family business, and when she was with him, she had even considered giving it up. He had met a few of her cousins, Uncle Ira and of course Bubbe. Bubbe loved the boy. Ira even liked him and he didn't like a lot of goyim hanging around the family, he was old fashioned that way. goyim being the plural of goy, or a non-jew, a derogatory term actually. But Ira even liked him when Dev told him he was in the FBI. Although, to be fair, I think the only reason Ira ignored the agent in Jesse was because he was in National security as opposed to organized crime or even homeland affairs. Everyone who met him in her family liked him. But she still kept him at distance from most of them for obvious reasons. She had gotten to know his family. Good people. She had seen them at his funeral. His poor family, going through that. She had wanted to pay her respects to his parents but couldn't bring herself to let them know she was there. Her heart was beating like a hammer in her chest as watched him move. She could see a muscle or tendon or two move underneath the skin of his hands and neck as he rubbed his jaw and all she could think was that meant he was flesh, he was real. "you heard about it, then?" he asked her, in reference to his "death." Dev nodded and glanced over at Ira who she saw just across the yard near the blossom tree Bubbe had been buried under, before looking back at Jesse. "the fbi thought i was dead... i was held captive, but i'd think i was dead, too." Dev nodded, and in her head called the fbi a bunch of schmucks but outloud she just kept up her polite smile, "Well," She paused to take a breath and swallow down nerves to keep her tone in check, "We all make mistakes right?" She replied. She smiled a little wider stepped a bit closer, picking up his right wrist with her left hand, using her index and middle finger on her right hand to press down slightly. She nodded and looked up at him, "Like I said, just glad to see you still have a pulse." She said letting go. So yes, it was an excuse to touch him, she had to make sure. When you're told someone is dead and you attend their funeral and spend the night in tears, as a person who never cries, they're dead. It's hard to grasp them as coming back. Of course, her mind was also cursing up a storm calling the fbi a bunch of schmucks, shlemiels, and shmendriks, left and right. "Honestly I'm surprised your parents let you out of their sight." "i was just... visiting my grave. thought i should for some reason. just to see." Dev nodded as she stepped around him, turning back to face him. She got it. She would probably want to see her grave too. She replaced the smile on her lips as a silence raised between them standing there. She fiddled slightly with her bubbe's engagement ring nervously, a tick she would usually never display but certain people made her so. She was about to break the silence and excuse herself when Jesse spoke once more. "i tried calling, after iraq. how have you been, love?" Dev inhaled deeply through the nose and shrugged, "Yes, Ira told me you stopped by while I was in New York." She replied. She had forgotten how much she loved his accent. She had a slight accent from growing up as a little girl in Fleshings, and being around Bubbe who's accent was a thick polish one, but really it only came out around family. Besides, she got made fun of for her use of yiddish when she was in school. "I've been fine, no need for the whole megillah." She said glancing over her shoulder to see Ira look over at her, holding the daisy in his hand. She looked back at Jesse and smiled, "I should go." She nodded over to Ira who was now watching them from across the yard. As the only man alive to see her cry, and both times was over Jesse, he was probably more than curious about this exchange. ((megillah: long boring, tediously detailed account or story)) one thing that's still the same In my heart you have remained

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BENNY MICHAEL BUBLE

[/center]

[jesse cain lennox]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #292424 solid 30px; ] IF MY HEART COULD BEAT IT WOULD BREAK MY CHEST OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEV --- JESSE didn't quite know how to take her. he was walking on eggshells because he felt like he didn't know her anymore. at least the new her. they had almost been apart for as long as they had been together. that was more than enough time to be a completely different person. jesse really wasn't all that different, at least, he believed he wasn't. he hadn't been able to live a real life since he left for iraq. he was only back in america for a few months before he was called to russia. when he was on jobs, he felt like he wasn't human. or, he wasn't jesse. he momentarily stopped his life so that he could do the jobs no one else in the fbi wanted to do. when he came back home, he could be his usual distant self and progress himself in his life. to say he did this for the money would be a joke, because he didn't, and really? he didn't get paid a bunch. besides, his parents were well off and the lennoxs were more than happy to help any of their kids if they needed to, but jesse saw it as a job. like a mailman. you had to do something. before he left for iraq, he moved out of his apartment. he didn't know when he was going to be back, so he just decided to move out. he moved some of his extra things into his parents' basement and took off to the middle east. he was going to move back into an apartment when he got back, but he didn't find it necessary when he learned he was leaving again. somehow, it just worked out that way. however, now he was back in valkyrie which seemed like it would be for a considerably good amount of time. he was assured in d.c. that he wouldn't be going on any other missions because of "what happened." the way jesse saw it, he was going to be thirty in october. he was not ready to be living in his parents house for that long and then some. even though he could hear his mother tell him that, "there is nothing wrong with you living here. you almost died, afterall!" she'd say it in her frantic, but matter-of-fact british voice while changing the sheets of his bed. yeah, jesse had to get out of there. he loved his parents, but he wasn't going to be spoon-fed his way through his adult life just because he was presumed dead. now, he would have to start apartment-searching. he didn't know if dev was back in valkyrie and living here. for all he knew, she was just visiting from new york. the more jesse contemplated about the event that led up to their break up, he was almost glad they weren't together if he was to be kidnapped and "killed" by the russians. say they would have made it past his eighteen months in iraq, and they were happy and more in love than they had been for a brief three months before he was back in russia. at least he didn't die when they were together. jesse couldn't imagine what it would be like. maybe it still hurt that he died when they weren't together, but to be together? and that person to suddenly die? and jesse truly believed that if they had still been together, they would have been engaged. maybe... in the end, jesse did dev a favor. he didn't have a clue what he life was like right now. he wondered if she was seeing anyone. what did he look like, was he better? it was the man-jealousy that was bubbling up in the bit of his stomach because she looked so beautiful right now, in a cemetery of all places. jesse had to calm himself down because he was just making shit up in his head to get himself worked up. dev stepped closer and grabbed his wrist. he smiled a bit when her fingers slid over his wrist and found her pulse. "Like I said, just glad to see you still have a pulse." he looked at her. "me, too." there had been points while he was in russia, alone, and in the basement that he wished they would just kill him already. jesse always considered himself strong. and when he was being tortured, he actually had a high pain tolerance because he knew what to expect and something in his brain turned off and he just didn't deal with the physical pain. of course, he felt it because someone really couldn't just turn it off. but there had been a point where jesse truly wanted to die. or, maybe he just accepted that he was dead, it just depended on when they pulled the trigger. what gave him the strength to break out and run out into moscow in the dead of the night, jesse might never know. "Honestly I'm surprised your parents let you out of their sight." he smirked again, and rubbed his chin. "i had to get out... they were hovering." he shook his head. she told him that ira told her that he was back when he was back from iraq. he assumed that ira would have told her. the few family he did meet of hers they liked him. but he broke dev's heart and if someone broke his little sister's heart he'd be pissed at the guy that broke it. jesse had given ira his number and if he passed it onto dev, she must've not of wanted to talk to him. jesse couldn't blame her, what he did was unforgivable. but he was hoping she would forgive him someday. "I've been fine, no need for the whole megillah." of all the languages jesse knew, yiddish was not one of them. however, he did date dev for five years, so he did pick up some words here and there. "i have the time," he told her. it was the truth. he felt like he was sixty and retiring. what was next in his life? he had no idea. he felt like he was in a boat in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight. jesse had no plans for today, tomorrow, or even next week. it was an empty feeling to have and he didn't know... he was just conflicted. dev turned her head to look at ira, over by another tombstone. jesse followed her gaze. ira was looking at them like he was wondering what they were saying. "I should go." dev turned to walk away but jesse reached for her hand, "wait." was she just going to leave and that was it? they'd never see each other again unless they were crossing each other on the street? "i missed you," he admitted and grasped her hand and squeezed it a little. dev was the only person in his life he was able to go to. he still needed her. jesse stepped in closer to her and nodded towards ira and the headstone he was standing in front of. "who are you visiting?" BUT I CAN SEE YOU'RE UNIMPRESSED

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY JOSS WHEDON!

[/center]

[devorah ariella cohen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #39153f solid 30px; ] The days were slipping past the good things never last OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: desse! --- DEVORAH HAD ALWAYS BEEN A VERY WELL CONTROLLED person, emotionally speaking. When she was younger, it was always difficult for anyone but her closest relatives to know what she was thinking, or get her to open up. She wasn't an unhappy kid or anything. When she was around six, she must have driven her family crazy. She had wanted to be a star on broadway and would dance around the house all day long singing at the top of her lungs. Her mother was the only one who never seemed to get annoyed. No, Ariella would even sing along with her. Some of Dev's earliest memories were of her and mother doing chores around their house using brooms as microphones. Dev had always been a private person with her emotions and getting close to people but she was never dull, she was never somber. She knew how to hide her pain. The only time in her life she had changed and become sullen was after her family was murdered. That was the first time bubbe ever saw Dev cry, not counting when she was an infant. Dev had been in her hiding place the whole time. It was this secret cabinet built into the walls of the old home from the times of prohibition, used once upon a time to hide liquor. She had used that hiding place to keep herself controlled. Whenever she was upset and didn't want people to see her as such, it was to her special place. And while the secret cabinet saved her life that day, it also provided her a front row seat to watching the five other people in her immediate family get gunned down and shot execution style by a corrupt FBI agent and some common street thugs under his wing, looking for the money Meyer Lansky hid away before his death. Meyer Lansky was a Jewish Mafia boss like no other. The man was historic. He practically invented Las Vegas and the criminal institution of illegal gambling, loan sharks and extortion. He was also the father of Dev's only boss. Before he died, Meyer Lansky retired comfortably in Florida and hid 300 million dollars for his family but the man died in his sleep before he got around to telling anyone where it was. Now that 300 million dollars was up for the first person to find it. Let's just say that was Lansky's son's primary goal, a goal Dev as determined to help him succeed. The corrupt agent had been search for it, he never found it. Died first. Dev's only regret was that she hadn't been the one to kill him. So instead, she would find the treasure he murdered her family to find. It was the only vengeance she could have. And while Dev was a happy girl being raised by bubbe and uncle ira, She didn't sing for fun again really ever. Not until she met Jesse. Becoming more active in the family business had only increased her ability to control the emotions she displayed. And when she had met Jesse, which seemed like so long ago now, she was still that controlled girl. They met through his parents actually. She was a college freshman, she was visiting Professor Lennox, also known as Mr. Lennox, also known as James. He was her archeology professor. She enjoyed his class but had a question for him, so during his office hours she had went to his office to speak with him when his son, Jesse showed up. It was a mystery to Dev how they were able to end up so close. Dev was not as reserved as Jesse was at that point. She wasn't open to the idea of falling in love or having anything serious but all of that sort of happened without their permission. Dev was attracted to him right away, all she had expected from him was a good time, a fling or something but the world had other plans. And a sense of humor... a member of the Jewish Mafia and an FBI agent was pretty damn funny, you know, once ignore all the heartbreak. Dev gave a small polite smile to Jesse as if to say goodbye before turning to join Ira. Seeing him was a complete surprise, she was supposed to be here paying respects to Bubbe. But heaven almighty was she glad to see him. It made her life so much more complicated with him around but at least he was breathing. Gift sent from God, probably intended for his family, more than her but she was will to bask in the light a bit from the sidelines. "wait." Dev stopped slightly as she heard Jesse's voice and felt his hand gently grab ahold of hers. Dev closed her eyes for a brief moment, knowing this couldn't be good. She opened them again and turned to look at Jesse. "i missed you," she felt him squeeze her hand, and the way he looked at her made her heart skip a beat. She took a deep breath but was able to keep her composure. "Jesse... look..." She began not quite sure where she would go with this, her eyes drifting to the grass on the ground, when he asked her "who are you visiting?" Dev looked up and over her shoulder at Ira. She looked back at Jesse and remembered she has never told him. She bit the inside her of her cheek a bit before nodding over to Ira and taking a step backwards, keeping ahold of Jesse's hand, "Come on. She would probably like to see you." She said gently before leading him over. Ira stood up straighter as they came over. Dev let go of Jesse's hand and stepped over to Ira giving him a hug, "You alright bubbala?" he asked her quietly in her ear. She nodded before letting go. He handed her the daisy before patting her cheek and walking back towards the car. Dev turned around and placed the daisy down next to her bubbe's tombstone. Her birthday the same as Dev's but nearly 70 years earlier, her date of death, the day Jesse left for the middle east. one thing that's still the same In my heart you have remained

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BENNY MICHAEL BUBLE

[/center]

[jesse cain lennox]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #292424 solid 30px; ] IF MY HEART COULD BEAT IT WOULD BREAK MY CHEST OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEV --- NEXT week, he'd have to start with those god-awful therapy sessions in los angeles. jesse didn't want to go, but he knew he had to. everyone close to the case knew every dirty detail of what happened in russia. jesse wondered if he could have acted more... controlled. maybe not act like a dehydrated fool at the embassy in russia. try talking more when he was in d.c. he had the habit of keeping things in and everyone that knew him knew that. his... ordeal... was definitely a situation where he's have to talk through it. keeping it in would do no good and even though he was currently an inactive agent for the fbi, he wanted to work for them again. and at his supposed state of being according to his superiors, he was in no mind to do more jobs. not until he could work through his current issues. but, in all honesty, jesse believed he was fine for now. he just knew how to play it. do the sessions, say he was ok, and just learn to move on. the way he saw it, the more he was forced to dwell on it, the harder it would be to get over it. maybe his logical was off, but it worked in the past. "Jesse... look..." it sounded like a lead-up to a let down, so jessed tried to divert the conversation by asking who she was visiting. did someone close to her die when he was gone? he knew that her life didn't stop when he left and time went on and things happened. "Come on. She would probably like to see you." jesse's brows furrowed when she said this. dev pulled him forward by the hand, and maybe jesse was over-analyzing it, but she could of let go. jesse wasn't familiar with a lot of her family. but the only "she" that would want to see him was mazhira, dev's bubbe. she liked jesse a lot. she had always been friendly and welcoming, a lot like what his parents did for dev. it was easier when family members were accepting of the other significant other. when he first met dev, it was at the university. at that point, jesse was still a student, but he was being courted by the fbi and hadn't made an official decision yet because he just wasn't sure if it was the direction he wanted to go with life. it was his father's office hours, and since jesse had been on campus, he thought he might just ask for some advice. when he got there he accidently walked in on dev meeting with his dad. she was taking one of his classes. he didn't know how it had happened, all he knew was that it did. there had been an instant connection, and they had become friends even though it had developed into something much more than that. jesse was always the quiet one. his siblings were loud, outspoken, and opinionated. jesse was fine with blending into the background. his unemotional personality could be seen by his parents and growing up, they tried to bring out his more human side, you could say. jesse knew they were relieved when he met dev because they were so different. she had this smile and she was happy and jesse would be the first one to say that she brought out a side of him that he didn't know existed. his parents had been happy for him, and for five years, he had a reason to hold onto his personal life when he was doing things for the fbi. they started dating when he was starting his training with the fbi. he believed that their relationship came at the perfect time for him because she grounded him, put things in perspective for him, and she was just what he needed when he got back from work. when they came upon the grave, jesse sighed. it was her. his eye immediately went to the part of the tombstone in which she died. at that point, he stopped breathing. it was the same date that he left for the middle east. jesse knew he was right, it was a date he wouldn't forget like that. he didn't want to say anything. mainly because ira was there and he didn't want to lose his cool infront of her uncle. suddenly, the fight they had made a lot more sense. he had always been confused why she was so desperate to make him stay, how she begged and pleaded, it tore him up inside. jesse hadn't even wanted to break up, but that day, the conversation just turned out that way. he glanced at dev, but didn't say anything. he felt awkward that he was just standing there and didn't have flowers to give mazhira. ira whispered something in dev's ear and handed her the daisy. seconds later, ira was walking the way they had come in. jesse still waited, watching dev put the daisy down. he didn't know how to word it. "i would have stayed," he decided to say, or pretty much stated in a matter-of-fact-tone. he turned his head towards her when he said it. "you should have told me, dev. i had no idea." he knew how much mazhira meant to dev. as he replayed their fight over in his head, he should have seen the signs of her pain and desperation. it pained him that he failed to see them. and when he told her he would have stayed, he truly meant it. because five years ago he was ready to have a true and long life with her. his jobs overseas was what changed him even more. his united states job were just as sinister, but there was no restrictions overseas. jesse frowned, shook his head and looked pass the rows and rows of tombstones. "things could have turned out so differently..." BUT I CAN SEE YOU'RE UNIMPRESSED

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY JOSS WHEDON!

[/center]

[devorah ariella cohen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #39153f solid 30px; ] The days were slipping past the good things never last OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: desse! --- MAZHIRA FLEISCHMAN WAS A ONE OF A KIND WOMAN IN HER lifetime. Mazhira, or Mazi as she was known to most of the people close to her in her lifetime, was a Polish girl. She grew up in Poland and when the Nazi's invaded, she and the man that would become her husband, a man named Jacob, had both been taken to Auschwitz. They married in secret while living in the camps, they had two children. They're first born was a son. He was born inside Auschwitz and was killed within the year of his birth. And within that same year, after his death, Jacob and Mazi were liberated by the Soviet forces. Dev's grandparents had decided a fresh start was needed to separate themselves of the horrors they had witnessed and endured. They moved to the United States, in New York, Fleshing of course. Jacob worked in a cafe, lived to see his daughter, Dev's mom, Ariella get married but died before Dev was born. Neither Mazi or Jacob were that shocked or worried about Dev's father and the business his side of the family, the Cohen's and their criminal involvements. After the horrors they experienced and the unfairness of most of the world, bootlegging and a bit of extortion was childs play. Dev's mother, Ariella, never joined into the business, neither did her parents, but they joined into the family. They were accepted with open arms and went from being a small family to being a large one. Bubbe had always told Dev when she was a child that she fell in love with the whole Cohen clan as soon as she saw how happy Abrahm, Dev's father, made Ariella. "As long as mój skarb is happy in life, my life has meaning." She would say in her thick Polish accent. Mój skarb is Polish for "My treasure" and it was what Bubbe and her husband always called their daughter. Dev could not imagine it. They lost their son who had born into the holocaust, then Bubbe lost her husband, and while Ariella was happy in life, her life had been cut so short. It was not fair. Bubbe should not have had to see her daughter die on top of everything the woman had been through. No parent should have to outlive their child. Bubbe had been worried for Devorah when she began to increase her participation with the work for the Cohen's. She always respected Dev's right to make her own decisions but Dev knew Bubbe had always secretly wanted Dev to stay away from it to stay safe. Bubbe didn't care if Dev wanted to be in charge or play the wife, she just wanted Dev safe and happy, but she had wanted Dev happy more so she never said anything directly to her about her involvement. It was something Dev had always appreciated. But now? Standing in front of Bubbe's grave, as much as Dev missed the woman who raised her, she was glad that Bubbe did not have to attend Dev's eventual funeral. Bubbe had lost too many people, outlived both her children and four of her five grandchildren and did not deserve to see another person she loved disappear. How she survived all of that loss even then to live into old age? She was the strongest person Dev had ever known. As Dev stepped back and looked at the grave she glanced over at Jesse, tucking some hair behind her ear that had blown loose in the wind. Bubbe had loved the Englishman in front of her. She would always grab Dev by the side of the face and threaten to marry Jesse if Dev didn't hurry her behind up. Bubbe was actually pretty hysterical, she found Jesse hot and made sure everyone knew it. She said that since she was so old, she could basically say whatever she wanted and no one could do a damn thing about it. She was right most of the time anyways. I suppose if Dev really focused she would be able to see there was one main reason Bubbe loved Jesse so much, and that was the smile on Dev's face when he was around. It was the look of complete comfort on her face when he hugged her. When Bubbe saw her granddaughter happy, she loved him, just like when she saw Ariella happy, nothing Abrahm did for work could bother her. She just wanted them happy, that was it. That was all of it. Dev watched Jesse's face. She had never told him about Bubbe's death. She had the change to but it was the day he told her he was leaving. She had been angry and irrational, she had just told herself he obviously did not care. Of course Dev knew that was not true but it was what felt true at the time. Dev looked up as she heard Jesse's voice. "i would have stayed," Dev forced her eyes away from watching his face and looked back at her bubbe's name carved into the stone. She shook her head slightly and looked closer to the ground. What was she supposed to say to him? She doubted he would ever truly understand why she didn't tell him. But the truth was, she didn't want him to stay because Bubbe died, she wanted him to stay for her. She moved her hands behind her back, standing straight as her fingers grasped behind her. "you should have told me, dev. i had no idea." Dev looked up at him as he looked to her. She glanced at the tombstone and shook her head at him, "That's exactly why I didn't tell you." She replied softly. She watched as he seemed to think difficultly about what he now had to process. "things could have turned out so differently..." Devorah scoffed and did her best not to roll her eyes. She shook her head and took a step or so back to the side before turning her head to look at him firmly. "I didn't want you to stay out of pity." she spoke with solidarity in her words. "You chose to leave for your career, that's fine. It was the right choice." Dev would not have believed her own words even an hour ago when she believe the man to be dead. But knowing he was still alive, perhaps it was for the best. Otherwise she wouldn't have the family relationship she did now after all. Or the power. that was enough, wasn't it? one thing that's still the same In my heart you have remained

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BENNY MICHAEL BUBLE

[/center]

[jesse cain lennox]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #292424 solid 30px; ] IF MY HEART COULD BEAT IT WOULD BREAK MY CHEST OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEV --- WHEN he thought of their first meeting, it had never been at a cemetery. and as if he wanted to put a cherry on top of it all, he was there visiting himself and she was there visiting her bubbe. someone she never told him had died. he knew it was her family and part of her life, but jesse felt like he should have known. he had been close to the woman. it just made jesse mad that she knew this when he left. she knew everything and didn't tell him. jesse left knowing their relationship was over, and he knew that he broke her heart when he left. but, it wasn't like it was a walk int he park for him. when he arrived in iraq for his team, he was quiet. he had told his team what had happened, and everyone knew relationships sucked, it sucked even more when they ended. knowing that, jesse's extra broodiness was contributed to that, and all his team could do was pat him on the back every once in awhile. jesse appreciated the attempt, but no one knew how much dev meant to him. probably not even dev herself knew how much jesse relied on her. he was a wreck and it showed in his interrogations. not him being weak or sloppy. no. it was quite the opposite. "I didn't want you to stay out of pity." jesse shook his head right as she said it even though she still continued on about how he chose his career in the end and that it was all the right choice. right, out of pity, because that made a lot of sense to him. it wasn't like he wasn't in love with her or anything. their break up was just as hard for him as it was on her. it was hard because they wouldn't have broken up on any other circumstance. they shouldn't have broken up, they should be still together. jesse hadn't forgotten that bit, but it seemed like dev was all to quit to forget. jesse stepped back a little bit. "out of pity? dev. you know i didn't want to leave." didn't want to, but he had to. he shook his head and turned away for a moment. he ran a hand angrily through his hair. he spotted the back of his headstone a few rows up. yeah, if he chose his career like dev believed, look where it got him. an empty coffin with no solace for his family. a headstone that said 'beloved brother and son' because that was all he had seemed to accomplish at almost thirty years of age. no family of his own, a family, he would bet his bottom dollar on, would have started with dev. jesse crossed his arm tightly across his chest. "we had been dating for five years when i got the call," he told her, still not facing her. "i thought we'd be able to survive that. but i guess you thought different." he hated reliving that day. he hated thinking about russia, and he hated that he was basically alone again. like he was when he was a teenager. maybe staying in valkyrie had been a bad idea. maybe he should have done the family thing, made sure they were ok, tie up those loose ends and fly back to washington d.c. and start back up working again. he felt like a man walking without a soul, and the fbi loved people like that. that's why they recruited him in the first place. he could go through anything with the coldest of faces. it was harder to come back here and talking to her. especially after he was learning all this stuff. sure, the ended things messy, but maybe it would have worked out better that way. messy meant hard to clean up in the future. and here they were, "in the future" and it was proving to be difficult. jesse really felt like dev should have told him about mazhira. maybe there couldn't have been anything they could have done. maybe the fbi still would have said that he needed to be in iraq. or maybe they would have let him go in a week or two to figure things out. dev and him probably would still fought about him leaving. he didn't know, neither of them did. neither of them could have predict what could have happened. all these what ifs would make him go insane. "and what do you mean 'it was the right choice?'" he asked her, bringing what she said to him back up again. it wasn't the right choice, leaving for iraq. it was a job, a mission, and jesse had expected to be back. of course, it ended up being longer than expected, but he still felt like their relationship could have survived that. even still, it wasn't the "right" choice. jesse wanted to stay here and marry her and have a family, and find his happiness. and at the time, jesse was thoroughly convinced she wanted the same thing too. she wanted the same things he did. you just don't stay with someone, seriously, for five years and not think about the future you could have with them. jesse had to count to five before he could continue because the more she was putting words in his mouth the more upset he became. "it wasn't the right choice." he paused, unsure of how to continue. "i was tortured in russia." they definitely weren't his first choice of words to tell her, but he finally turned around to face dev. as close as they were, or had been, jesse never disclosed when he really did. he was counter terrorism, and worked on a team. for all she knew, he worked surveillance or did things on the computer. in reality, he was embarrassed. he didn't want her looking at him differently if she really knew what he did. "they killed everyone on my team, but for some reason they decided to keep me alive. i was pronounced dead by the fbi and i might as well been dead because where i was? no one would have found me. i'm only standing here today because i somehow rescued myself." he didn't know why he was telling her all this stuff. "i tried to come here today to feel something, looking at where i was supposed to be buried. but all i saw was that my family thought i was a pretty good brother and son. and i was thinking, with everything i've done, this was all i had to show for it? dead at twenty nine with little to no accomplishments." he thought he could probably be saying this to his fbi-appointed shrink, but he really couldn't see himself telling anyone but dev. he shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "i'm sorry. i haven't slept in days." BUT I CAN SEE YOU'RE UNIMPRESSED

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY JOSS WHEDON!

[/center]

[devorah ariella cohen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #39153f solid 30px; ] The days were slipping past the good things never last OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: desse! --- WHEN DEV WAS ON THE JOB SHE WAS EFFICIENT CUT-THROAT but most of all, she was fair. She only fucked with the people who got involved with them willingly and then really, they should have known what their new reality meant. But she never went after families and she gave her boys a fair share. She wanted to keep the loyalty, she wanted to keep at least a shred of honor and goodness in her work. But how could Jesse ever understand that. The truth was she would always love Jesse. And if she hadn't become so involved with her family, if she didn't love what she did and what she brought to the table, it might take her awhile but she would be able to forgive him. She would be able to move on but it wasn't fair to Jesse to get him involved in something he would never understand. It would never make sense to him. She knew how he felt about her kind of people. I mean, she was not exactly fond of the FBI, with all the crap they pull, they should be the ones getting put behind bars. Or at least the people running the show, not so much the agents themselves. A lot of the agents, like Jesse, really were just trying to help, trying to make a difference and all that sentimental crap. But Dev? No, she knew how the world worked and she knew she couldn't change it. And when Jesse left, she felt like the only people she could truly count on to be there for her were her family, dirty money and all. It's not like the Jewish Mafia was all one big happy family either. For the most part it actually was but, for example, David Lansky hated Dev and she knew it. David Lansky was the grandson of THE Meyer Lansky and his father was called the Czar of the Jewish Mafia. He was the head honcho, essentially the Don if they were Italians. David was in Vegas but all over the country looking for his grandfather's lost couple hundred million dollars. The money that FBI agent shot her entire family to find. The money no one could find. But David was trying and he just wasn't getting anywhere. Dev on the other hand seemed to bring them out of squalor so his father, their leader seemed to favor Dev more than his own son. David also happens to be misogynistic so the fact the it was Dev, someone with ovaries especially tugged at his fragile man ego. But it did not matter much, more people were loyal to her, including his father. She didn't have anything to worry about. She would though if she let a guy get in the way of her work, of her life. Plus, Jesse wouldn't want her if he knew anyways. He only loved who he thought she was, and apparently not enough to stay. She wished she didn't care. It would make this a heck of a lot easier. "out of pity? dev. you know i didn't want to leave." Dev rolled her eyes, "Right, which was so clear as you ran out the door -" She snapped back, her voice raising a bit causing her to stop herself abruptly and take a deep breath and look away from him. She could not let her emotions get the best of her. She had almost given up her whole life for him once. She almost turned away from her family for him. The one's closest to her would not have cared but she would have had to lie to Jesse her entire life and she had not wanted that either. She had been ready to walk away from them, and walk towards him and the life she thought they were supposed to have together. And it had broken her heart that she would have to make that choice. She loved them, she had even then. Then Jesse, instead, walked away from her. Her family loved her enough to not mind, they knew... they knew she was a proposal away from being gone from them forever, and they were okay with it as long as she was happy. They would have lived on, instead, here they were. Practical strangers. "we had been dating for five years when i got the call," Dev looked over at Jesse even though he was not facing her, which she was partially thankful for. "i thought we'd be able to survive that. but i guess you thought different." Dev looked down at the ground, that one stung. She shook her head and swallowed hard before tears began well up in her eyes. She did not want him to see that. "I - I begged you to stay, Jesse. I have never begged anyone for anything in my entire life but I begged you to ignore the job for once, and to pick me, but you left anyways." Dev knew that she was being unfair but at this point, it was just how she felt. "Jesse, you must have known what that would mean." She replied, her tone both calm and emotional as if just wanting him to understand, but she knew that was probably not an option. She did not quite understand either. And it was harder still knowing that she would never be able to explain to him the real reasons behind her not running up to him and never letting him go again. "and what do you mean 'it was the right choice?'" Dev kept her eyes away from him. And that was the question she could not answer honestly. "it wasn't the right choice." Dev looked over at him as he spoke, as though he was not finished. She kept quiet and just listened having a gut feeling that what he was about to say - "i was tortured in russia." Dev looked away from him and crossed her arms over her chest. This time, her eyes did begin to water. Hypocritical? Maybe. She had tortured people, although never in a long grueling nature. She seemed to get them to talk incredibly quickly. And if it ever took too long, she'd let one of her men work the guy over. And only men who were usually scumbags, anyways. Jesse? He was a good guy, he was better than anyone she had ever known except Bubbe, he had only ever wanted to help people. He had only ever - god, how as she supposed to take that? She took a deep breath and turned back towards him. She looked straight at him, placing her hands on her hips, her eyes blinking back the urge to cry "Who?" She asked, her voice firm but clearly shaken, "Why?" OKay yeah, bullshit she knew why, but seriously? She would kick some bastards asses for even thinking about touching Jesse. She listened intently as he spoke, explaining a bit more but without really answering the question of Why. She bit the inside of her lip trying to keep herself from running to him. "with everything i've done, this was all i had to show for it? dead at twenty nine with little to no accomplishments." Dev watched him with worried eyes before walking towards him, and even as she heard him apology she reached up and wrapped her arms around Jesse's neck, hugging him close. She felt her heart pounding and closed her eyes for a moment, her head on his shoulder. "Don't do that." She said softly as she hugged him. "Brother and Son are listed because they are the most important of your accomplishments." She added before she pulled away slowly but kept her hands on his shoulders before looking him in the eyes. "I saw your family at the funeral, you don't get to down play what brother and son meant to them just because you're feeling sorry for yourself. Its not fair to them or you." She added. Her tone wasn't harsh, opposite in fact. But she still meant it. one thing that's still the same In my heart you have remained

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BENNY MICHAEL BUBLE

[/center]

[jesse cain lennox]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #292424 solid 30px; ] IF MY HEART COULD BEAT IT WOULD BREAK MY CHEST OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEV --- MAYBE it was because he was stubborn, or maybe it was because he was just plain dumb, but jesse didn't see how leaving five years ago he was choosing his career over her. yes, he definitely knew when he walked out the door that they had been over, but he didn't know why it had been such a life or death situation at the time. now, he understood that dev's bubbe had just died, but still. going to the middle east that time wasn't because he was choosing iraq over her. she should say that out loud because it sounded ridiculous to him. why wouldn't he want to fall asleep next to her at night versus in some foreign country with a bunch of guys? why would he want to give up taking her out to dinner versus looking behind his back all the time -- just to make sure. he walked on eggshells when he was undercover in iraq. he walked on eggshells when he was in russia and rightfully so because, look how that turned out. but when he was here, in valkyrie, with her, he could live a normal life. it was what he always wanted and he was never able to hang onto that. jesse just wanted to clarify to her that it was a job. in his mind, it was no different than american soldiers being deployed overseas. they'd leave, they'd come back. jesse had come back with lingering hope and dev had moved to new york. he wasn't expecting this today. in fact, he had never expected to run into dev ever again. but jesse had this feeling that things worked out like this for a reason. here he was, in a moment of utter weakness after coming back from russia and already dev was here. the only one that would truly understand him without understanding at all was right in front of him. she could calm him without saying much of anything. jesse always knew that their first meeting wouldn't come without an argument centering around "the fight." it had been five years. he couldn't help but imagine if they were still together. they would be married, jesse had no doubt in his mind about that one. he also realized that he had broken her heart when he did leave so he had no idea if she was holding back the urge to gut him. he wouldn't blame her. the sad thing of it all was that he still felt the same. again, he didn't want to break up, she drove them to it with the ridiculous ultimatum. he chose wrong and everything went to shit after that. jesse would understand if she could never forgive him for that. "Jesse, you must have known what that would mean." maybe deep down he did know. "again, it was a job. i would have been back," he told her. "it's not like i was packing up and leaving forever." they would probably never see eye-to-eye on this and it was probably because the whole situation played out differently for both of them, it was two different perspectives. jesse saw it one way, dev saw it the other. jesse wasn't planning on telling dev about russia. at least not yet. the only people that really knew were the fbi and his family. well, and the doctor's office that had to examine the damage. his arms had scars, but jesse was guessing they would fade into light, white scars after awhile. his chest and his back hurt though, even still. he didn't let his family see the worse of it. he'd take his showers and put a shirt on. no one needed to see that. "Who? Why?" she asked him. jesse just shook his head. "a russian organization we were collecting surveillance on. why? because i was fbi." he left out that fact that he was also the torturer and jesse was convinced somehow they knew that. "it doesn't matter anymore." what pained him more than the healing wounds on his body was when she came up and hugged him. he was falling apart after trying to keep himself together. you could call him strong that he was able to escape, but if he was strong, he would have escaped earlier. he stayed quiet since returning to the united states, only answer questions for the fbi and rarely letting his family the full extent of his captivity. jesse was hesitant, but he ended up circling his arms around her. he sighed when he felt her heart beat against his chest. she pulled away leaving her hadns on his shoulders after she told him his accomplishments were great. then she said that she saw his family at his funeral. wait. that meant that she was there. "you went to my funeral? why?" he might have been putting her on the spot with that question, but he wanted to know. they hadn't talked in five years, they didn't end on great terms, and she just told him he chose his career over her. but, she went to his funeral? his family never told him that dev showed up. they didn't like talking about that day, but surely they'd tell him that his ex-girlfriend went. BUT I CAN SEE YOU'RE UNIMPRESSED

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY JOSS WHEDON!

[/center]

[devorah ariella cohen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #39153f solid 30px; ] The days were slipping past the good things never last OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: desse! --- DEV HAD MISSED HIM. SHE WAS NOT NEARLY AS MAD AS IT seemed like she was. Dev was just hurt and trying to think practically but not really being allowed to tell Jesse how the logic works because she could not tell him the truth about her family, her own work, her life, how she felt, how torn up she had been when he died, how part of her even now felt like she was speaking to a ghost or that, even if they were fighting, she was still partially worried it was just a very vivid dream she would wake up from. Wake up into a world in which Jesse was dead. Part of her wondered how she would be dealing with this if she did not have the secrets or family business issues to deal with. Would she have felt the same? Would she have still been angry? The way she remembered that day was a bit swayed by the death of Bubbe, added to this realization that Dev was willing to give up contact with the family to be with Jesse. She would not have been able to be with her family and marry him. Dating she was able to get away with, but Meyer had told her that marriage to an FBI while still connected to the family, even in non-professional terms would have been reckless and just out of the question. The only one who would have stayed with her was Bubbe, who wasn't technically a part of the Cohen crime family or in any way related to the Jewish Mafia. Devorah could not even be angry at Meyer or the rest of the family, simply because he and they were right. It would be completely reckless for them to invite an FBI agent into the family, inviting him to the weddings and bar mitzvahs and reunions that pose as excuses for business meetings followed by a lot of drinking, singing and dancing and loose lips all around. Jesse could have never been a part of that without figuring it out. And then what? The fight of their lives as she watches her fiance or husband or whatever arresting and taking away her family one by one, or threatening to do so and watching him die, and then being so furious at them that she lost them anyways but on negative terms. What would Jesse think about her? Dev could handle Jesse falling in love with someone else. She could handle him being angry with her for not forgiving him. She could handle a lot of things. But she could not handle the idea of him regretting her or hating her. Not after everything. But Jesse hated criminals and she was one. Well, one by their definition. In other parts of the world, Dev would probably count as a saint. Plus in Dev's opinion it was all of the government officials fighting a needless war for the past ten years, they were criminals. The state senate in Georgia forcing women to carry stillborn babies to term by law, they were the criminals. The corporations who get a million dollar tax cut so they can create more jobs who decide to make two more jobs and then spend the rest buying the CEO's that new sports car model, they were the criminals. The ignorant civilians who won't hire, refuse service, verbally harass the muslim girl walking down the street because she's wearing a hijab which makes them think she was cheering on 9/11, they're the criminals. The celebrities who get off with a warning when convicted guilty of violent crimes because they're famous and the record labels would lose money, like DMX, they're the criminals, and judges who allow themselves to be paid off or star struck. The police department that doesn't even investigate when a young black boy is gunned down when carrying only a bag a skittles because neighborhood watch felt so incredibly threatened they followed the kid when the police told him to back off. The politicians who say women fake rape in order to get abortions. These are the criminals, even though none of it's against the law, or the law over looks it because of a bias system. The system that was taking advantage of the good guy Jesse was. She hated them. She hated it. And she hated that she was the one who got labeled the bad guy. Hypocrites. She might take people's money, some times even their lives if they threaten hers or her loved ones, but at least she never takes away freedom, she never pretended to be pro-life, saying it was only god's choice when a life should end and then turned around and sentenced someone to the death penalty. I digress, the point is, Dev and Jesse had very different opinions on right and wrong. It would have torn them apart anyways. And whether or not he was thinking he was going somewhere temporarily and therefore not choosing one or the other, he knew that if he left, it was over and he left, that was choice. She was going to leave her family and the only life she knew to be with him, and he wasn't willing to leave his job to be with her. So, it was, at least on the surface, a good thing he left. She would not have wanted to be with someone who could toss her aside so easily if she lost everything else she had. "again, it was a job. i would have been back, it's not like i was packing up and leaving forever." Dev scoffed slightly, "Oh you would have, and last time I checked, you arrived home in an empty coffin." She replied glancing over to where his empty grave rested. She wondered briefly if they would save the place for him eventually or would they dig it up. Obviously the headstone would have to go. "a russian organization we were collecting surveillance on. why? because i was fbi." yeah, no shit. Dev thought to herself. Whatever, he didn't want to talk about the real reasons, that's fine. Confidentiality and all that bull shit. Yay secret government operations. Those are never dirty (sarcasm). Dev came from a family of huggers. Honestly she hadn't though twice about it. She still cared about him, after all. She was trying to be as supportive as she could allow herself to be. After everything he had been through, after everything his family had been through, he shouldn't be feeling like it was all for nothing. Okay, maybe the job part of it was, she didn't know the operation, so she couldn't give a real opinion on the subject but his life hadn't been for nothing and him thinking he hadn't meant anything broke her heart. She watched him as he seemed to register what she said when "you went to my funeral? why?" Dev just stared at him for a moment before dropping her hands, "Really? that's what you took from that?" She asked before she gave a small amused smile and shook her head slightly, "I just gave you gold and you want to know why I went to your funeral?" She asked holding down a small giggle. She stepped back and shrugged before looking at him again. "Why do you think I went to your funeral Jess?" She added, of course she went. Did he really think she stopped caring just because they broke up? ((sorry about the political ranting, i've had a bad week with our country)) one thing that's still the same In my heart you have remained

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BENNY MICHAEL BUBLE

[/center]

[jesse cain lennox]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #292424 solid 30px; ] IF MY HEART COULD BEAT IT WOULD BREAK MY CHEST OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEV NOTE: this kinda... sucks --- JESSE wondered how long he was going to be in valkyrie. it was impossible to know for sure. was he going to be staying here for awhile? the doctor he was going to say would maybe determine him too... damaged to return back to work? he wasn't ready to hop on a plane to washington dc, but that was right now. who knows what his mindset would be in a couple weeks or a month. he wasn't a fan of staying in his parents house simply because he was almost thirty years old and he liked separation, some distance. jesse had always been like that, even when he was a child. out of all his siblings, he was the one offbeat one that would rather play by himself. he was worse in elementary and middle school though. he'd sit in the back not because he was a slacker, he just didn't want to be bothered. at parent teacher conferences they'd always say how withdrawn he was. jesse never saw the problem. he always did his homework, always did it on time, what was the teacher's problems when he just didn't want to participate in class discussions? his parents never understood either, but then again, his parents are extremely outgoing people. any country jesse was in, he never walked around the country as much, especially since overseas, he was in countries that weren't the biggest fan of americans. even though technically, jesse was british, he was an american citizen. they were usually tailing, collecting, and spying on targets. they didn't want those targets spying on them. there was no leisure time for jesse and his team, they were working down to the finest of details. maybe if he was lucky, jesse could go back to doing what he did before the fbi sent him overseas by just letting him do jobs that were needed in the united states. deep down, he knew why he was sent overseas. it was because he was good at his job. he was good at torturing people. higher at-risk terrorists were mostly found across seas. that was where jesse was usually needed. jesse didn't know if he could tell his family, or even dev if he could. sure, he knew he found his calling in some sick and twisted way, but he knew it was wrong. and everyone around him would look at him completely different. even if in his career jacket, he eliminated terrorists threats against the united states that people didn't even know about. "Really? that's what you took from that?" jesse shrugged. he knew she was saying kind words to him to make him feel better about himself, but she went to his funeral. that was something. "of course i want to know why you went," he told her. "Why do you think I went to your funeral Jess?" he wanted to know how she heard about his death. news was one thing, but that could easily be overlooked. it ran in the valkyrie register, but that's just because he lived there. he thought she was in new york. "i don't know why you came, love. everything you've been saying to me... i left, you were done, you've made that pretty clear. sounds like you want nothing to do with me." he crossed his hands across his chest even though his eyes were sad. "so, are you still living in new york?" he asked her. jesse had no idea what was going on with them at all. he knew very well that she could have just been in valkyrie for a few days because she wanted to visit her bubbe's grave. and tomorrow or even tonight she could be heading back to new york. was she seeing anyone? the thought crossed his mind because it could cross anyone's mind. he... clearly wasn't. he hadn't since well, her. but what if she was back in valkyrie? what did everything mean then? were they just going to part ways right here at the cemetery and occasionally see each other around town? well, i guess that was what exes did. and that was what they were. in a weird way, jesse never thought about it like that. maybe it was because they hadn't seen each other in five years, but now that they were here, it is what it is. BUT I CAN SEE YOU'RE UNIMPRESSED

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY JOSS WHEDON!

[/center]

[devorah ariella cohen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #39153f solid 30px; ] The days were slipping past the good things never last OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: desse! --- DEV HAD TO WONDER WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE FOR her and Jesse had he come back and she had never gotten so involved with her family's business. What if she had separated herself as she had once planned to do? Would she have seen him and ran into his arms? Would she have kissed him and then punched him in the arm before suggesting they go catch up over drinks in her bedroom? Was the situation she was in with her family one of the main reasons she was so upset he even left? It was possible. Not really fair to Jesse then. But her family's history, it was so engrained in her. It always had been but it was even more so since he left. It was what she attached herself to. What she clung to when he was over seas. And even the history of people in her family she had never met, it had all become a part of her. The origins of the Jewish Mafia, the glory days of the early to mid nineteenth century with Murder, Inc and the great extortion of Hollywood in the twenties to the missing three hundred million dollars lost somewhere in the underworld that the current Lansky's were searching for from the seventies. It really started in New York City with Monk Eastman and his Jewish gang. They really competed with the Italians and Irish of the time. It was prohibition that really gave us our time to shine though. Arnold Rothstein, man after Dev's own heart, transformed organized crime from a thuggish activity by hoodlums into a big business, run like a corporation, with himself at the top. The Jewish Mafia was one of the first true organized crime units in the United States. People seemed to have forgotten that. But she hadn't. She idolized it. That's why she ran her part of the business in the classic way, bringing it back to the glory days of fair, but illegal trade, prophet and bank for the parties involved and less of the useless bloodshed and rivalries. Honestly, this gripe with the Italians and the Russians was ridiculous. They were wasting men and resources just to prove which group had the bigger penis in their pants. Historically, the Jewish Mafia has worked with some of the biggest names in both the Italian mafia and the Russian bratva. Devorah had friends in both. She was not going to get involved with the little boys and their pissing matches but if she knew ways to benefit her family and the other party, she would make deals with both sides of the war line. She was like an incredibly successful, affluent and clever Switzerland. It was not a bad place to be either. To Dev, the only real enemies she recognized as enemies were the ones who hurt and imprisoned and killed her family members in the name of justice and "goodness." She wondered if the Italians and Russians had ever even considered the amount of insurmountable power they would have if they all allied up. Turned the fight away from all the different groups against each other and instead took the common enemy of the law to the stand and fried 'em. And yet, Devorah was in love had once been in love with an FBI agent. The same agency that spat out the corrupt bastard who butchered her entire family. Another important piece of history she had failed to tell Jesse. All he knew was that her parents died when she was young and she was basically raised by her Bubbe and extended family. He didn't even know she had once upon a time been one of five. "of course i want to know why you went," Dev looked at Jesse and fought the urge to tear up or shake her head or roll her eyes. It should be pretty fucking obvious why she went to his funeral, and honestly, even more obvious why she hid herself. It would have been so awkward to see his family there. She didn't want to worry them by being around, the ex girlfriend who broke up with their son just before he went across the world only to die and without a body to recover. They had enough to deal with that day. Plus, she had no idea what his family must think of her now. Dev glanced down at Bubbe's grave. In her head said a quick small prayer for strength. She needed this run in to be over before she did or said something she would regret, whether it be too friendly or whether it was so cold she ended up hurting him more than he was already hurting. She could live with whatever pain he had coming her way. "i don't know why you came, love. everything you've been saying to me... i left, you were done, you've made that pretty clear. sounds like you want nothing to do with me." Dev watched him, with her eyes narrowed just slightly. To tell the truth, she was hardly believing what he was saying. "Oy... It wasn't like tha- -" She began, her voice clearly upset before looking back at Bubbe's grave. Dev took a deep breath and shook her head, "Fine, think what you will Goy. I'm not doing this here. In fact, we should not have gone this far." She said calmly. She looked away from Jesse and crouched down next to bubbe's head stone, touching the top. "Kine-ahora Bubbe, I'm sorry" She spoke quietly, a small magical yiddish phrase that ensured the words spoken are genuine and purged of evil. Dev stood up straight at least stepped off to the side a bit before hearing Jesse's voice "so, are you still living in new york?" Dev looked over she shoulder at him and how closed off his body language looked. She shook her head, "No, I never lived there. I was only there for a few months to visit family." Dev walked a bit further from the actual grave before turning towards him again, "You know, Jesse? ... You died." Dev shot at him firmly. She paused and took a breath before repeating herself, "You died." That was probably the only explanation she could give him for being at the funeral, and with their past, she was convinced it should be enough. Together or not, of course she still cared. He should know that. one thing that's still the same In my heart you have remained

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY BENNY MICHAEL BUBLE

[/center]

[jesse cain lennox]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #292424 solid 30px; ] IF MY HEART COULD BEAT IT WOULD BREAK MY CHEST OUTFIT: here. TAGGED: DEV NOTE: <3 ---AS far as he knew right now, he was a citizen. a citizen that couldn't really get another job. jesse was at a stand-still in his life. he didn't want to look back, but he couldn't look forward until he dealt with the last three months of a non-existent life. jesse finally knew what it felt like to be a soldier that wanted to get deployed right away again after getting back. that was how jesse felt right now. he had been back in valkyrie for less than a week and already he wanted to go back out on the job again. yes, what happened to him in russia was not fun and he would rather never repeat something like that again, but he was just anxious. he woke up this morning with no plan in mind, even if he was talking to dev right now, he still wasn't doing something. it wasn't ptsd, he was sure of it. helicopters in the sky didn't scare him, being in dark places didn't freak him out. nothing reminded him of russia. he was just constantly anxious. like, standing here wasn't doing anything. he just felt like he should be doing something; he should be doing his job. he was sure that he would have to convince the doctor that he was ok. people that were in the law enforcement, especially the fbi and cia, were experts in faking anything. jesse could feed the lines necessary to be cleared of what was holding him back from being an agent again. he needed to be cleared. working for the fbi was what he was, it was his identity. if he didn't have this - he didn't know what he would be. that day during his freshmen year of college when he was approached by two fbi agents changed his life forever. he had no idea that when his mom taught him arabic one summer when he was six years old was the reason why the fbi was at first so interested in him. what kind of job would he of had if he wasn't approached? would he have finished college, get a bachelor's degree? maybe by now he would be some manager or supervisor in some job he never planned on having. jesse also didn't think he would have met dev. maybe he would have, she was his parents' favorite student, but he hadn't been the most sociable person before he was shipped to los angeles to train. well, he wasn't that sociable even now, but being chosen to become an agent had given him the confidence that he needed to feel like he had purpose in life. people were probably thinking jesse had bad blood with the fbi since they claimed he was dead when he wasn't. jesse didn't though. when he was flown back to washington d.c. they explained that they did believe he was in the fire. they did find some of his dna of his, which was possible because he and the team were held there for three weeks prior to the fire. of course he was bound to leave some kind of dna behind. like any investigation, they were able to place that jesse was there, and with no other evidence that he was somewhere else, they believed he was in the fire with everyone else. several times over the past three months, jesse wished that he had died in the fire. the russians had been drawing out his death rather painfully. he was convinced that those russians knew what role jesse played in the team. it was the only way he could explain why he was spared. but how did they know? if she felt like he put her on the spot, he didn't mean to. there was just too many questions he had to ask her and asking why she went to his funeral seemed like a good place to start. his parents hadn't talked to him about it. he tried asking one of his sisters, but she just shook her head and changed the topic. jesse understood that it was a terrible thing his family had to endure, but he was alive, he was fine. they didn't have to feel sad anymore. dev said that they shouldn't have let this conversation go this far. he was going to say something but she turned away from him and crouched down to her bubbe's grave, the reason why she came here in the first place. she got back up and walked a little away from him. she didn't live in new york. so, she lived here. to him, that meant they were probably going to be seeing each other around. did she really just want to ignore him? "You know, Jesse? ... You died." he blinked and looked down at the ground and she repeated herself again. "i know," he said. he walked closer to her and sighed. "i just wish..." he uncrossed his arms. "i'm sorry," he ended up saying, and laid his hand on her arm. "i shouldn't have attacked you with these questions. i'm sorry. you'll have no idea how much it meant to me that you went." he leaned down and kissed her cheek. "i'm sorry," he said again against her ear for more than just what he had said to her today. he was sorry for everything. he started pulling back, but stopped. it was because they were so close that he lingered. it had been so long since the last time that they were this close to each other and his heart ached with longing that he just couldn't help himself and his lips brushed against her cheek until he found her lips. BUT I CAN SEE YOU'RE UNIMPRESSED

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY JOSS WHEDON!

[/center]