* when I'm falling I'm at peace ,

[elise miranda morgan]

ELISE MIRANDA MORGAN
BECAUSE FALLING'S NOT THE PROBLEM, WHEN I'M FALLING I'M AT
PEACE ONLY WHEN I HIT THE GROUND IT CAUSES ALL THE GRIEF

. . . . . . .

It had been a while since Elise was truly angry. She would have to admit she wasn’t an angry person, she just had the ability to get annoyed quite easily. But alas wasn’t everybody easily annoyed, you know those of us who weren’t medicated heavily and had to work for a living. Yes, Elise wasn’t those stereotypical Valkyrie girls, she didn’t have endless amount of cash to burn through, she didn’t have a limitless credit card to melt. But she had enough to get by comfortably. At a mere twenty two, she managed to garner ownership of her family’s diner, hire a handful of people and serve the better people of valkyrie, the more human people of her hometown. Let’s face it, The Gatsby was where Elise spent the majority of her time these days, she couldn’t help but to boast about it. It was her pride and joy, second to only her son. At times though, only some times, would she get annoyed with it all, and with a swelling rage she would exclaim bitterly that she would burn the entire thing down, once and for all. The girl had an elaborate plan about it too, she would let the gas leak, strike a match and sit outside just to watch it burn, let the flames lick away everything she worked for, and then she would be free.

Freedom was always a tricky subject with her. Sure she lived the United States, where freedom was a birth right, but it felt as though she was trapped in the midst of it all. She was responsible, and that wholesome word ultimately killed her. From the moment Elise was adopted at the tender age of four, she has always been the one to take care of others, especially her older sister (by thirteen minutes). Even when the accident occurred, it was Elise who stepped up to the plate, without a second glance at what she was leaving behind; the volleyball and base ball teams, free time, friends, essentially her adolescence was thrown away in the moment she stepped up to take responsibility. Elise graduated a semester early, began working full time at the Gatsby, began to run the show there and at home. At home she would make dinner, help her younger siblings with homework, clean clothes, dishes, rooms. It was a miracle that the girl would ever sleep, let alone be able to maintain her nearly flawless grade point average. Elise even began to go to college, part time of course, but still, by some grace of God things seemed to go swimmingly. Even with the loss of her mother, even if things were hard, they kept moving forward. It was all going as per routine up until one night at three in the morning when Camille came back. Everything changed in those small hours of the night, everything was broken now. However, even when Elise would miss the times where she would be going to college, getting an overpriced degree, she would never regret her son. For the time being, she was a mother, the highest priority was this baby in her arms who happened to be born on her birthday. It was meant to be, Elise Miranda Morgan was meant to be a mother. But it was evident that Camille was not, perhaps someday, when Cam wasn’t the perpetual drifter, when she didn’t value a good time over a child, maybe then... Elise shouldn’t have been surprised when Camille left, it was a feat for her to be in one place for over a month let alone for twenty one.

But tonight, Liam had a slight fever, and that bothered Elise. Why was her baby sick? he should have worn his jacket at the playground, but she knew Liam wouldn’t do anything unless he wanted to. It was the one and only quality he inherited from his biological mother, this mundane stubborn feeling. Nevertheless she loved him for it, and smiled as she brushed some hair from his sleeping face. But Elise couldn’t sleep, she didn’t even feel tired and so, like she always did, she went to the kitchen to make ice cream. It was something she had taken from her mother Iris. When Iris couldn’t sleep, she would go into the kitchen and make ice cream and other baked goods. And so to follow suit, so did Elise. Most of her recipes were committed to memory, and every good cooked had the ability improvise, and tonight, she was going to make a different sort of ice cream. She had read that Lavender was used as a sleeping agent, something when smelled or another would make a person feel calm, at ease to fall asleep. And so without much of a thought, she added some lavender flowers to the simple Vanilla ice cream she was making. With a touch of honey and a little more vanilla extract, the concoction became simply divine. Tossing the tub of ice cream in the freezer to set, she began to wash the dishes, bubbles rising to her elbows as she scrubbed and rinsed. Elise didn’t mind the monotony of her life, she really didn’t since dramatic events made her anxious. She threw a towel over her shoulder as she was about to dry the dishes when she heard a knock. Her eyes immediately flickered towards the clock; three fifteen in the morning. instantaneously she knew who it was. It was time to face her sister. Calming her rapidly beating heart, she cracked her neck slightly before quietly walking towards the door. Moonlight flooded the small foyer, a metal handle caught the light and reflected it into her brown eyes. Her base ball bat, it was a seemingly good idea when her hands wrapped around it. Her fingers fell comfortably into place, it was like she never quite left baseball like she did five years ago.

Her fingers tightened around the rubber of the grip, steadying the metal base ball ball. She was determined to end this, to end Camille from ever disrupting the life that she had made. Camille was not going to win, Elise would make sure of it. SHe could come in back into her life, use and abuse her, but her older sister would never come near William. Elise might not have given birth to her son, but in every sense of the word he was Elise’s not hers; never hers. Closing her eyes for a moment, the logical part of herself began to talk through the entire scenario. Camille was behind that door, knocking with the full intent of coming in. If she, Elise, let her, Camille, in, one of three things would occur. Camille would be crying, most likely pregnant again, or she was higher than a kite begging for some money or lastly, she was drunk and angry, with the intent of taking William away because she was the one that endured twenty eight hours of labour in order to bring him into the world. Now if Camille was pregnant again, Elise had one of two choices; either repeat what she did in Liam’s case, keep the next child as her own and raise them both or, now this was a far more likely to occur... Find a good set of stairs and push her twin sister down them. The latter option was favorable, and hopefully, if Elise was lucky, Camille would break her neck and die. It scared Elise how much she loathed Camille. The hatred was absolute, pure even, it was the resounding emotion she felt when it came to her twin. The only thing that she ever thanked that ungrateful whore was Liam. He was one of the few men in her life she loved completely, and as evident by what she was willing to do at this point in time, ie. about to beat her own sister with a base ball bat, Elise was severely protective of her former nephew, now son. He was the best thing that ever happened to her life, and she wasn’t trying to be cliche for no reason. Liam was clever, kind and extremely funny, and ever relaxed even as a baby he never shed a tear. It was crazy how much alike Elise and Liam were, he was the best decision she had ever made.

With a deep breath that seemed to saturate her entire being, she swung open the door, her bat ready to swing when she dropped it. The bat rolled back inside, hitting the doorframe and bouncing over her feet into the shoes that were lined in the closet. But Elise’s expression remained neutral, unimpressed even, for standing right in front of her was another ghost from her past; Paisely Parker, ex best friend from high school. It wouldn’t have been so bad, this abrupt meeting at three in the morning if they didn’t have a cloud of dislike between them. At this point, Elise couldn’t care less about the blonde, although she did seem like something had happened, something terrible had happened and it radiated from her blue eyes. it was like the light in them was drained... Shut up, brain, Elise didn’t want to care about whatever happened to her ex best friend. All Elise wanted to know was why she was there, why now after six years did Paise remember about her. Leaning into the door frame, her brow raised curiously, “Oh. it’s you. What do you want, Parker?” Elise inquired, her tone a mixture of relief and malice, such an odd combination, but it just so happened that she wasn’t planning on ever seeing this girl again, let alone at three in the morning.

. . . . . . .

NOTES: finally got this bad boy out.
STATUS complete!
TAGGED paise <3
ATTIRE elise
CREDITS format to gurms, and the lovely banner to asia <3
LYRICS "falling" by florence + the machine.

[paiselyparker]

- - - - - -

---IT WAS COMPLETELY DARK.

[/size] Pitch black, even. She couldn’t see her hand in front of her face, and then she realized she couldn’t move her hand at all. It was tied down. A feeling of panic began to wash over her. She pulled and pulled at her hand, and finally it came loose, but now she could hear footsteps, heavy and familiar, the most dreadful sound she could imagine. There was suddenly a candle there on the nightstand. Quickly and quietly, she took it, clutching to it for dear life as she snuck out of the room. ”Paisely!” she heard the voice, his voice, screaming her name. She began to run, but she couldn’t run fast enough, she could never run fast enough. When she looked over her shoulder, her legs sprinting along the many hallways, she could see his dim figure chasing her, his face covered in darkness. The girl began crying, screaming as she ran, and she could hear him getting closer and closer to her. He was so close that she could now feel his warm breath on her neck, and suddenly she couldn’t run anymore, she was frozen, standing there, facing the darkness from which he would come. With the candle held out in front of her, she could see him approaching, but the worst was she could hear his footsteps, hear his gruff voice crooning her name softly, like a mother to a child. He was approaching, swift and powerful, and just when his face should have been illuminated completely by the light of the candle, it went dark, and she felt as though she were falling, endlessly falling. When the sensation finally ceased, she found herself blinded by a light. It wasn’t the light of the candle though, it was more natural, it was warm. It was the sun. Her face naturally turned up towards it, soaking in the heat, grateful for the sudden change. Out of the blue she began to hear the murmur of voice in the distance. She followed, curious, the light dimming until it really was the sun in a sky of blue. She found herself some place familiar; the Academy.

It was nice to be so comforted, so easily fitting in to a place. It was like home. Then, oddly enough, she saw herself, standing in the distance. The girl approached her own figure, confused as to why there was a replica of her. ”Hello?” she asked to the mirror image of herself. The blonde didn’t even notice her, like she couldn’t hear her. And then she saw the familiar girl who was once the most stable figure in her life, her one closest friend; Elise Morgan. It brought back pictures of them playing together as children, being the daring duo all up until their junior/senior years. They’d been invincible. The mirror image of herself suddenly said something snappy to Elise, though the exact words escaped her. Elise retorted, and then the duplicate said something back. It looked like it was turning into quite an argument, and then everything seemed to fast forward to another day, the duplicate now going out of her way to torment her former brunette friend. A few more scenes went by before a voice interrupted, ”You’re a piece of crap friend,” it said. She looked to the right, and Elise was walking towards her. It was Elise, but it wasn’t. ”Broke my heart, you did. How does it feel to be guilty? To know you’ll never be forgiven?” she opened her mouth to speak, to apologize, maybe? The words were stuck in her throat though, and she said nothing. ”You changed. You became somebody totally different,” the Elise-but-not-Elise continued to say. She looked beyond the girl, and she turned to see what Elise was staring at. A black hole was erupting in the ground, sucking everything into it. It was coming fast, ”Doesn’t look good for you,” Elise shrugged, cocking her eyebrows toward each other. Suddenly more familiar faces lined up behind Elise; people she’d been awful to before, and even those she loved. Her family, her friends… Bailey, Nina, and Shay. They were all laughing at her. The hole got bigger, and when the girl attempted to step away, she couldn’t. She was stuck again. The hole was crooning her name, just like he did. She could feel it pulling on her, and finally sucking her into its horrific depths. Her fingers held to the outer edge, her knuckles white, fear taking over her system. Elise stepped forward, looking down at her, ”Karma’s a bitch.” The crowd behind her began to chant the words. Karma’s a bitch. And then the hole pulled her in, and it felt as though a thousand ants were crawling over every inch of her body.

Paisely awoke holding her pillow to her face, muffling in the scream. It took her a few moments to calm down, to realize she was okay, that nothing was coming for her, that she was at home with Gale down the hall and Bailey in the room next door. She panted heavily, sitting up and hugging her knees to her chest tightly. Almost like it was instinct, she pressed the button on her phone, squinting as it lit up. The time said 2:37 a.m. She gathered her thoughts, realizing that the nightmare wasn’t real, that nobody was waiting for her in the dark. The Elise part freaked her out though, to say the least. It was the second nightmare she’d had involving her this week, and each time she woke up feeling guilty. Granted, the words weren’t exactly Elise’s; they were her subconscious telling her she screwed up. She knew she had, she’d always known it. The only problem was that once upon a time she’d been a Paisely who was too selfish to give a damn. Right now, she was going through an enlightenment phase, realizing that life is too short, that she can’t have regrets, that anything can happen. The biggest part was the fact that she was broken. Paisely was a mirror shattered into a thousand pieces, impossible to restore to perfect condition. She would never be whole again, never be the fun lively girl she once was. She could be put back together to an extent, but the reality was that she wouldn’t be whole. Swiss cheese was the perfect way to describe it, relatively whole with holes punched through it. After awakening from that particular nightmare, Paisely had an epiphany, coming to the realization that one of the holes inside her could be fixed, that a lot of the guilt and pain might go away if she made things right with Elise. She had been really awful to her, the worst friend, and she really did feel guilty. The girl had been like a sister to her, the absolute best friend she could have. She’d always been there for Paisely, from the rumors to the mean girls to the cheating boyfriend, but when Elise needed her, Paisely wasn’t there. She was somewhere far away, getting wasted and caring only about the superficial aspects of her life. Most of all though, she just wanted her best friend back. She needed her back.

They’d been attached at the hip since pre-school, basically. It was like and instant click. Despite being born and raised a valk girl, Paisely had managed to become best friends with a shak girl. They lived entirely different lives, were from totally different backgrounds, and yet they’d fit together like two pieces to a puzzle. Paisely wasn’t a snob, she didn’t care if Elise had money or not. She was her absolute best friend in the world, the only reliable friend she’d had her whole life. She could remember them going to the beach together, getting dirty in the mud during a rainstorm, all those Halloweens with corresponding costumes, the trips they sometimes took with each other’s families, the sleepovers and phone calls, the drawings, the notes passed, the songs sang and danced to in the confinement of the car. There were so many memories, and Paisely threw it all away for her care-free party life. She gave up her best friend for that. Sure, she made new friends, and God she loved them all too. Bailey was her cousin, the other person she could always count on through thick and thin. Nina and Shay? Well their relationships as friends may have started out shallow, but those two ended up being two of the best friends she’d ever had. They’d bonded, she loved them. Elise had always been there though. Elise knew everything; she was faithful, like a lap dog but better. It was hard to explain, but there was that relationship that she didn’t share with the others, except maybe Bailey, but they were family. Elise had been like her sister, and when Paisely got into her party phase, she dumped her like yesterday’s news. Now, she was dying on the inside, and all she wanted was that best friend back. She’d already gotten Bailey back, she’d made things right with Nina, Shay was back too, and she just wanted her childhood friend. She was selfish, and she would admit it, but she wanted that relationship again, that tell-each-other-everything groove. A part of her was saying she would never have that back. How could she expect forgiveness? The other part was hoping Elise still had that golden heart to her, that she was still the caretaker, the good one. She’d always been the better half of the friendship, anyway.

It was an impulsive decision, but she couldn’t help it. Paisely climbed out of bed in her pajamas, not exactly caring what she looked like. Part of the reason for the inconvenient hour and sudden urgency was an excuse to not have to go back to sleep, but the bigger part was the genuine desire. If there was one thing Paisely had learned over the past couple months, it was that life was unpredictable, whether good or bad. There wasn’t enough time to live life with a heart full of remorse, to look back and see so many things you wanted to take back. In Paisely’s case, there was a lot she would do differently, but there wasn’t much of a way to change the majority of them. She could change things with Elise, though, or at least she could try. If she went to the girl and tried to amend the wrongs she’d done to her, well then at least she would always be able to look back and say, ‘I tried.’ Granted, it’d be a much more enjoyable outcome if Elise forgave her and they were suddenly best friends all over again. However, that seemed like a very unlikely prospect, right now, all Paisely wanted was forgiveness. It was what she wanted, which sounded selfish. The hole time she was trying to quietly make her way down the stairs with her bulky leg brace, the whole time she lugged it into the car and awkwardly drove with it cooped up to the side, the whole time she was driving to the house she hadn’t seen in what, six years? Through all of it she was trying to convince herself this wasn’t about her, it was about Elise. She realized it was, that she’d let her down in a dark time. She didn’t deserve forgiveness, she didn’t even expect it… but she genuinely wanted it. If she were religious, she may even pray for it. Religion and a belief in God died when her life went to hell though. Bad things happened to good people. There was evidence of it everywhere. And then the worst people alive were exalted. If God existed, things wouldn’t be like that.

She was broken from her dazed reverie when her foot slammed hard into the gas peddle. Only having been vaguely aware of the trip to Elise’s house in the shaks, Paisely found herself surprised to be right outside. She was still feeling rather clammy and shaken after the nightmare, and for a split second the logical side of her urged her to go back home, that this was stupid and ridiculous. Her illegitimacy pushed that side of her out the door, though, and Paisely got out of the car. She slowly approached the door, knocking because she really didn’t know who was currently living in the house and didn’t want to wake everybody up. She waited for a few seconds, and just when the practical side of her won her over and she’d started to turn to leave, the door opened. Elise was standing there with a bat, which soon fell to the floor. Paisely’s face went from shocked to terrified to relieved all within a matter of moments. She didn’t know what she was feeling, it was too much to make any sense. Paisely hadn’t tried to hide her own injuries, though under normal circumstances she would have since the last thing she wanted was pity. She got too much of that already. The gash on her hairline was mostly healed now, barely noticeable, her arm was no longer in a sling, sure, she had the leg brace, but she looked as presentable as she could manage. Now if she lacked clothing, the bruises on her torso from her various broken ribs would still be apparent, but the painkillers had her ignoring them most of the time. They were almost good as new too. The only remarkably obvious feature were the deep blackish blue rings around her eyes. She didn’t care what she looked like though, because her focus was Elise. She didn’t look like she’d been woken up, which was good, but why the fuck was she holding a bat? Paisely remembered the hour. Duh, only insane people knocked on doors in the middle of the night. It was understandable. Elise addressed her then, sounding hostile and calmed all at the same time. Paisely opened her mouth to say something, intending to make a joke about the bat… but her throat was dry, she couldn’t say anything. It was like the words were choking her, lodged in her throat. Paisely Parker was proud and stubborn, she couldn’t even remember the last time she apologized to somebody. There was her mother, but that was a totally different story. She was six feet deep into the ground. But the last living, breathing person? That was something she couldn’t even recall. The glossiness leaked into her eyes, she could feel the liquid pooling in them, but she’d refused to get emotional, or at least not this emotional. ”I’m s-“ she began, but the tears finally escaped their prisons, beginning to wind down her cheeks, ”I’m sorry,” she got it out, her expression crumpling. The tears came faster now, ”Elise, I’m…” she took in a ragged breath, ”I’m so sorry.”
[/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

status• finished.
tagged• paislise!
comments• sorry for the too quick reply, I’d already written most of it :]
attire•hurr!
credits•format inspired by vsiders. banner goes to melissa.