|
|
Post by james devon sakahrov-collins on Feb 19, 2011 2:01:53 GMT -6
 -----------------------------------------------------------FEBRUARY, 2012. EARLY EVENING. DAYS AWAY MOTEL.
[/size] -----------------------------------------------------------[/color][/center] ,IT WAS NOT an enjoyable affair, this power struggle. it rarely happened. yet, when it did, he would prefer the world end now. of something disastardly painful. like a solar flare. they could all burn slowly. because when you burn slowly, you at least know the end is coming. this power struggle, there was no end in the near future. definitely no light at the end of the tunnel - someone always ends up furious. a slammed door, or a punched wall: take your pick. it was one of very few responsibilities he despised exercising. as it always lead to him secretly wishing 2012 would come right now. it lead to exactly what we're talking about - this unenjoyable affair, this power struggle. he always knew it would come, and why. he just never knew how to deal with it. because, as you probably have heard, james collins does not handle authority well. he can listen to authority, respect authority. a few ugly descriptions say he would be a drooling vegetable without authority. no. in this case, he does not handle his own authority well. the man can not give directions for a cheap fuck. especially not to someone who he grew to think of as an equal, not some protege he didn't want. so yes, he fucking hated everything about this power struggle.
ksenia did not think of him as a superior. she thought of him as an older brother she could boss around. he was. it didn't take long for ksenia sakahrov and james collins to develop a close, rather dysfunctional relationship. he didn't know how to direct, and she knew how to direct herself. he was supposed to teach her, in the beginning. six months into the beginning, he treated her as a partner. you know, the person you're probably going to spend the rest of time with. a real life, happiness, was out of the question for both of them. misery loves company. neither knew why, but their reliance grew organically. she bossed him around, he fixed her messes. it was how they worked. so when he had to exert his still-there authority over her, it was an ugly thing. not an enjoyable experience. it didn't even matter the situation. the moment he did more than suggest she do something, someone ended up hurt. somewhere in the middle of this power struggle, someone got hurt. no one would say anything, but that's how it would end. he would say something idiotic, reminding her too much of his authority. then he'd feel bad. she would refuse and say something back, about his evident inferiority issues. then he'd grow quiet and say something even worse. that's when she slammed the door, and he punched the wall. or someone. that's how it always happened, and neither could wait for it to finish. but no one was budging. not yet. we are at the beginning here, when he reminds her he still owns her soul.
"do it. or i will." he wasn't quite there to remind her what the concequences would be. "she's your friend, ksenia. i don't give if she lives or she dies. but i am not going to let some piss-poor italian fuck with your life." he was standing by the door, leaning against the frame. the awkward accent to his words were firm, demanding. it's not even like he was telling her to go out and kill someone. he was telling her that it might be a good idea to let her friend - the one she stupidly went to go talk to in broad daylight - know she was probably going to get murdered. prepare for it, at least. "do you have any idea that will do to her, jamie? she has a family, a daughter. i won't bring her into this shitstorm." she looked up at him, from her nest on the couch, with vulnerable eyes. the desperation plan, nice move. try to make him feel bad. "all it is is death and deception. don't care about anyone, or what happens to them. they kill people. you kill people. so, i'm sorry, but i don't care about anyone else but her." she could at least act like she was sorry about what she was saying. but she wasn't. she didn't even know she was saying it. or she'd have phrased it better. she usually walked on glass when she retaliated with something ugly. but, this time, it was ksenia who said the first ugly thing. so much in fact, jamie didn't respond. not right away. he slowly straightened his body, approached the couch and knelt in front of her, something dark exploding in his eyes.
"this shitstorm is all i have. if you honestly believe all we do is death and deception, then i was wrong about you. it's about loyalty, and it's about blood. making damn sure you do to them what they've done to you. i don't care who gets caught in the crossfire, because all i care about is this shitstorm. it's all i've ever, and will ever, have. now pick up your cell phone, dial her phone number, and let her know she's invited." his tone got more dangerous as he continued. short, stabby sentences that warned of the concequences. she, ksenia had never spoken to him like that. so carelessly. he knew she wasn't fond of this life, what they did. but he did his best to keep her out of the real game. and he thought she'd grapsed the point by now - it's all about blood and loyalty. and all this because he told her to call this caroline...something and let her know some italian wanna-be spied them in the park. when ksenia had phoned him that morning, informing him of what she saw, he didn't do much more than pay attention. some gruff guy with a big mostache creeping around valkyrie? definitely the italians. he's seen him before, and was sorry he hadn't killed him. no one had directly threatened the sakahrovs yet, but it was coming. he knew it. the few times since that he'd interacted with them, ksenia had come up more than once. "keep your eye on your pet, jamie. and her friends." that was italian subtly for "we want to kill your contact's outside loyalites." and she didn't even do anything. no expression. all ksenia did was push him away, too hard. he fell backward, unbalanced, onto his back.
so, i apologize. this was not a power struggle. this was true colors flashing. ksenia sakahrov was a well-behaved, albeit quiet, human being. she rarely spoke between the lines, mocking everything her partner superior stood for. and here, today, she had done it well before any ugly words were to be exchanged. in a power struggle, she would retaliate with something she believed to be mean, and then storm out. today, she had responded when jamie had made the first light order. the first move past a suggestion, telling her to do something because it just made sense to. excuse me for thinking that letting someone know they could be in the crossfire is a bad idea. jamie liked to keep people as naive as the next. but when someone in his immediate circle has a direct link to this danger, he likes to break everything they ever knew. a normal, boring life is a lovely thing. when it's probably going to end in less than a week, it's a good idea to let them know why. cut through the shit and invite them to the russian party.
it was strange, jamie collins being the upfront one. it was him who generally ran in the opposite direction, with ksenia talking him down. now here they were, ksenia sakahrov being the ugly one. ignoring logic and common sense in lew of her obsession with a normal life. i'm sorry, but once some sloppy italian decides to kill you, a normal life is probably out of the question. unless you want to die in ignorance. then i give you my best for the last three days of your life. but here we are, true colors flashing all over the place. just how seriously ksenia took the safety of the people she loved, actually. safety and, it seemed, naivety. anything to keep them out of the world she supposedly despised so much. fine. let this girl die. jamie watched as ksenia grew quiet, almost pouting. she'd never spoken to him like that before. he'd never spoken to her like that before, too. that seemed to have escaped her in the moment. james collins can be one scary bastard; scarier than you think you can be. he leaned his hands on the floor behind him, remaining on the floor. something dangerous gleamed in his eyes as he stared at her. she had approached the forbidden topic between them - all the shit jamie ever did. his past. you just don't bring it up. like how he never actually mentioned how much of a hack her father is, or her raging security issues, or how careless she can be about her emotions. it went unspoken and ignored. so he didn't end up on the floor, and she didn't end up crying. only the danger danced in his eyes. the rest of his face was neutral, borderline concerned. they both could have gone farther, hurt the other.
but it wasn't about hurting each other. it was about how she, ksenia, needed to let this caroline girl know what the fuck was going on.
gingerly, jamie got to his feet. this floor was hard. he fished his blackberry from his pocket and threw it on to the couch beside ksenia. then, he backed up, retreating to the piece of wall right behind the front door. crossing his arms, he went back to staring at her plainly. occasionally looked at the phone, too. ksenia, on the other hand, didn't move. not yet. her mind was going a hundred miles an hour. confliction, logical arguing, maybe even feeling bad about what she said to jamie. his little anger speech had caught her off-guard. just as how her words had startled him, i guess. she didn't really care about his reasoning, but she knew he was right. at the end of it, carly would be in too much danger if all this checked out. no one had come to threaten either one of them, not yet. but the off-hand remarks and creepy italians dudes hanging around were sloppy efforts at concealing anything. breathing an unsteady sigh, she picked up the phone and slowly dialed the familiar number. raising her eyes to meet jamie's, a darkened expression overtaking her face, ksenia patiently waited for carly's begrudged answer. fuck him for making her do this.
she wouldn't tell her over the phone. she'd be lucky if carly didn't hang up. it was completely classless to fool someone like that, because all she'd do is not believe her. no. carly sutton was a person who deserved a lot more than that. a lot more being none of this shit. her mind shifted once carly finally answered, her heat dropped into her stomach. she didn't even listen to the non-greeting. she just continued to glare at jamie, her expression blank. "carly, please...i'm sorry. but i-i," she trailed off, her voice breaking. she sounded like she was crying, completely incoherent. heaving a dry sob, no sadness crossing her face, ksenia shook her words. "i didn't know who else...who else to call. who to trust. i'm...i'm scared. he might come back and...and..." another sob, her eyes remaining stone dry. "i'm at the days away. room five forty-two. he could come back at any moment. please...no! stop!" shouting her last two words, ksenia threw the blackberry against the closest wall. breaking his phone made her feel better. especially at the look of dread on his face. "happy?" she didn't look at him, he didn't look at her. they just waited.
he was still in the same spot when the frantic knock echoed throughout the room. ksenia was lounging on the couch, looking almost bored. her walk to the door was a slow one, cold. so was the way she opened the door, and looked at her guest. aloof, indifferent. she stole one more glare at jamie before pulling carly into the motel room. he, however, paid no attention to his little protege. he was busy staring at the caroline girl. who, more accurately, turned out to be the carly girl he hadn't been able to forget about in weeks. every other girl he'd almost slept with behind some bar hadn't measured up to the fiery dancer from new york. he'd obsessed over her scent, her touch, since that night ended. the night that introduced him to how easily he could forget things in the company of a pretty girl. soon enough, however, he'd been testing the grounds, trying to find a girl like the one in front of him. less than an hour with her had been like a drug he desperately missed. even now, his muscles tensed as he recognized her. his breathing shortened. but that was it. that was all. every other fibre of his being forced him not to react, not even show familiarity. i guess it worked. no flicker of emotion crossed his face, no sign of recognition. good.
once both girls were in the center of the room, he pushed out to slam the open door. make himself known. even as both turned to look at him for a second, he didn't move. remained right there, behind the door, arms crossed and expression sour. "welcome to the black parade." it's not like ksenia would make the first move. she'd lie and continue to play her story. or she'd just roll her eyes, as she was doing now. ksenia shot jamie one more look before focussing on her ex-friend. she fought tooth and nail not to break down, show everything at once. but it couldn't happen. not like that. this had to be approached like any other job, like nothing mattered. "please. sit down." her accent was thick through her words, covering any trace of emotion. "i have to tell you something, and you are going to listen to me. because this isn't about the past, or whatever i did to you. it's..." her voice wavered the slightest. that was when jamie pushed forward to approach them. standing next to him, she felt the chill. he was still angry at her. and he wasn't cleaning her mess because he was concerned about her well-being, he was because it was his job. "it's because you wouldn't want me to tell you. so, please, let her explain." [/size][/blockquote] ----------------------------------------------------------- STATUS, complete.
TAGGED, carmie + ksenia <3
LENGTH, 2464 words.
ATTIRE, ksenia + jamie.
NOTES, omg, this is so bad.
CREDITS, format and graphics to me.
lyrics to hollywood undead - "the loss"
[/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by caroline isabelle sutton on Mar 5, 2011 23:44:16 GMT -6
 VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, DAY A WAY MOTEL, EVENING, FEBRUARY 2012[/font][/center] -----”so she acted strange. you do it on a daily basis.” carly reached out a hand to whack her brother on the back of his head, chuckling as he ducked but not in time to miss her swat. ”strange doesn’t begin to cover it. i mean she knows we’re pretty much not friends anymore but everything about her was so cold. had i not seen her for myself…i swear wes i could have walked right past her on the street and never known it because she appeared so much like a stranger.” usually the crap that occurred around her didn’t get to her as badly as this, though more so in recent years. she never remembered high school being this difficult, despite how difficult it actually was, but that was due to the fact that kids could say whatever was on their minds in regards to her and carly could shake it off. she’d been the poster child for keeping your head when she’d been in high school. kids had done some terrible things to her, more so when they ran in packs. honestly she was surprised that at the height of it all kids hadn’t strung her up from some vaulted ceiling and publicly hang her for what they saw to be her scandal. there was always a certain boundary that was never crossed but damn if the kids in her school back then hadn’t really come close to going too far. one might consider that spitting on her, pulling her hair, openly calling her names, and the like was crossing the line but those were all things carly could handle at school. she could face it all because she knew full well that things got better, and they always did. when she went home at the end of the day that some time ago all she had to do was take a shower and change into something comfortable in order to feel like nothing had affected her. she let the insults roll off her like teflon. she didn’t retaliate because she knew what was true and what was a lie perpetuated by a pure and complete fear. cain had been terrified that he would be a father. he was horrified by the fact that he’d screwed up as much as he had, something he had later confessed to her but not before she’d been forced to give up lily and had become angry and bitter about her past. something about her had changed from that point in time to now. now? carly had a little trouble not getting ticked off when things happen. now it was like everything she should have opened herself up to experiencing in high school she was experiencing now. instead of not giving a shit what people thought or what they did…she seemed to care too much.
-----it wasn’t as though carly had expected her…former best friend to come back groveling on her knees as if some horrendous mistake had been made. other than disappearing without so much as a reason why and other than not having heard from her until the other day in the park, well there was nothing that ksenia had really been obliged to do. hell she didn’t even have to feel sorry about not talking to her for that length of time. she probably didn’t feel anything but it wasn’t as if carly knew that. she had been too busy being angry to ask her how she was doing or what her life was like. it seemed as though she was too angry to care when really she did. saddest part of all was that carly did care and that came across in just how mad she was. had she not been so angry and so cold toward ksenia, then the girl should have really worried about what was going on. it was obvious that she did in some way care, but she was too stubborn or too singed with pride to just allow herself to trust ksenia all over again. who could blame her really? it wasn’t like this was her second chance. if you asked carly her opinion it was likely ksenia’s fifth or sixth chance that carly had given her time and time again. no matter what something always seemed to get in the way be it carly’s pregnancy, ksenia’s insecurities, her disappearances, or carly’s unwillingness to forgive and forget. there was a lot of gray area there as was common with this pair. it was almost like they weren’t allowed to become that good of friends. like the cosmos couldn’t stand the two to be that close. really it was just a matter of lives getting in the way but it still felt like the world was against them. was it so much to want a best girlfriend to be by your side and know you better than anyone else? a person that would spit on your ex when he broke your heart and comfort you with a tub of triple chocolate ice cream? for carly the answer was an apparent yes.
-----by this point she sat cross-legged on the “living room” floor with lily in her lap. wes on the other hand remained draped over the couch where he’d picked up this conversation but it wasn’t important enough for him to sit up and actually show some involvement. seemed like ever since he’d come back he had been down in the dumps and lifeless. she knew it was because he needed to go out and find billy, something he’d yet had the courage to do, and she didn’t blame him for that. if she was supposed to come back and face an ex-lover, well it wouldn’t have gone well for sure. ”don’t play with that.” carly scolded gently as she tugged the hem of her dress out of lily’s hands. ”it’s not so much about the fact that she never called…or maybe it is. i don’t know anymore.” confusion was written all over her face and she didn’t like it. this cold, rock hard façade she’d been so proud of having in high school was completely gone and she was in dire need of it as of late. ”look she’s your best friend. get over yourself and take a crack at letting her back in. you know it’s what you want.” carly stiffened slightly, the need to defend herself coming to the forefront. ”you’re one to talk. where’s billy?” carly asked as she met wes’ eyes for the first time since the beginning of their conversation. ”hate me if you must but you’ve sulked around here more than usual and no one else has the courage to bring her up. you love her, still, so go out and find her damn it.” the glare from wes said it all but that hadn’t stopped carly from continuing on. as if a savior from above had swooped in to tell her to shut the hell up, carly’s phone began ringing. she was surprised that the topic of conversation was now flashing across the screen of her phone…awkward. ”hello?” carly said, trying to keep the edge out of her voice but failing to an extent. everything after that was just plain old confusion. she could hear ksenia sounding frightened and she could hear her saying something. honestly this was the kind of phone call carly would have expected within those short few days after ksenia had just disappeared, but no, she was getting it today. only hours after seeing her once again. why oh why did this continue to happen to her? she hefted lily out of her lap, her ear clinging to the phone as the line went dead. ”shit.” she huffed as she picked herself up off the floor. ”mommy said a bad word!” lily said as carly picked her up and plopped her onto the couch with her uncle. ”yes i know sweetheart. ba momma.” she grabbed her purse and threw her phone inside before grabbing a len and paper and jotting down the address. why someone would just up and call her instead of the police was beyond her. what did ksenia expect her to do? whoop some ass? oh please. still she couldn’t deny that she was worried and that she was heading out the door…because despite it all she still walked out that door with very little explaination.
-----she made it to the address in record timing, knocking on the door while cautiously looking over her shoulder. before she knew it the door swung open and carly was dragged inside. she certainly didn’t look injured or afraid for her life in any sort of way. ”what the he-” she began before the door slammed behind her forcing a loud scream from carly’s throat. she spun on her heels to find an intimately familiar face…oh. my. god. ”sit? what are you crazy! you call me on the phone and what? fake an assault? and now you want me to just sit around? what the hell is going on here ksenia.” she used her full name as opposed to the nickname that had been most comfortable between the two. ”what kind of sick joke is this?!” she looked over her shoulder at the man who she’d only known by his last name. she should have been a little more concerned about that back when she’d met him at bad seeds. frustrated and overwhelmed carly finally quieted for a minute, giving ksenia enough time to try to tell her something before “mr. collins" if that even was his name, piped up. ”well someone better explain it.” she said to break the silence since apparently there was something she needed to know that apparently no one seemed to want to tell her. ”speak!” she said, loudly, as she turned back to ksenia. she still had yet to sit down and honestly she wasn’t sure she wanted to. instead she fidgeted nervously in her boots, wondering whether or not she should just say screw it and leave.
--------------------------------------------------------
status • finished
words • 1,708.
tagged • ksenly !
clothes • clicky !
notes • wildly overdue but i hope it’s good enough to make up for that.
[/font][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify] |
|
|
|
Post by james devon sakahrov-collins on Mar 20, 2011 2:20:02 GMT -6
-----------------------------------------------------------FEBRUARY, 2012. EARLY EVENING. DAYS AWAY MOTEL.
[/size] -----------------------------------------------------------[/color][/center] ,SHE HAD NEVER ever, wanted to bring carly into this mess. never. she would have sold her soul and mopped floors before getting her involved. in their long history, ksenia had done countless things. countless things that carly never deserved. she ditched her best friend, following the crowd because that was easiest. she stood by as her fellow students spit and insulted her. it had been easy that way, to take reigning position of the queen bee. no one questioned her, let alone taunted her. ksenia had never gone home crying. she had gone home feeling like the worst kind of shit, but she had never cried. not once. a lifetime of tears wouldn't make up for that. and then there was valkyrie. once again, carly had found it in her heart to forgive ksenia. she got her best friend back, on very different terms. and then what? she disappeared for almost three years. caroline sutton was a caring person, ksenia knew. she did what she could to keep the people she loved from feeling like the worst kind of shit. and what did ksenia go and do? but that would have been the last time. she would live in moscow and kill people; carly would live in new york and be happy. they would never see each other again. they would move on and live their lives. that's the way it was just supposed to be. it fucking sucked, but that's life for you.
and she would have prefered it over getting carly involved. like she had quickly learned, it's easier to cut off contact than to put their life at risk. it just fucking sucked, that's all.
even now, when she was being forced to face the truth, she wanted to lie. to make up some ridiculous fantasy that would anger carly beyond all words. just another pathetic attempt to mend the bridge. typical ksenia, right? insecure, clingy, immature ksenia. and she would have been fine with carly thinking that. they would probably never speak again, only dark exchanges on the street. but that's the way it was supposed to be, right? a trace of emotion echoed in her eyes as carly appeared before her. she couldn't do this. ksenia was quickly becoming a master at disguising her emotions. to appear cold as ice. sometimes she even beat jamie at that. but there was the part of her that refused to change - faced with a loved one, and she shut down. it was especially important for her to avoid all contact, because this is what happened. it had taken everything to lie through the phone like that, to pretend like nothing was wrong. it was easier, being so frustrated with jamie. but any trace of anger for him evaporated when carly walked into their dank motel room. evaporated, and replaced with a teetering silence. when jamie slammed the door, and she watched carly scream in surprise, it made her want to lie all the more. she didn't even deserve to put up with him. but she didn't react, only breathed. her pale face remained motionless, but the fear was quickly leaking into her eyes. "it was the only way to get you to talk to me." her voice was quieter this time, almost meek. she could feel jamie rolling his eyes. breathing a steadying sigh, ksenia sat at the edge of her bed. "even before i met you, i knew my father was involved in something ugly. something bad. that's why we moved to the states in the first place. and now..." her voice broke again. she didn't want to continue. couldn't. she wanted to say it and be done. but she deserved the entire story, carly. at least that much.
he, on the other hand, had remained silent the entire time. he smirked when carly screamed, and stared when she demanded someone speak. he shouldn't have to be here. this was a petty issue between friends. life or death, and ksenia was treating this like some decision. what, not tell the caroline girl and let her die? or just follow her around with a gun for the rest of her life? he wasn't about to waste his time with that, thanks. the moment ksenia's thick accent broke the silence, he crossed his arms. she was starting the beginning of a story, to try to get carly to understand. part of him wanted to voice that it was none of her fucking business. whatever victor sakahrov had done, it was nothing to be spoken about. water under the bridge, his father said. they got his children, and they wouldn't kill him. that was the deal. and the less people that know that, the better. but then she sat on her bed and looked at the floor. that's when he rolled his eyes. she couldn't do this. she had thought about it too much, made it more than it was, and now was going to waste his time. fuck. searching the barren walls for a clock, jamie breathed an impatient sigh. the least she could have done was not break his phone. he sighed again, and pushed up his sleeve. "okay. stop. i should have known you couldn't do this." his voice had taken control from her. cold, heartless. his raised his eyebrows as ksenia began to protest. not another word. past' zakroi, mne pohui." "shut it, i don't give a fuck." his words sharp, demanding. it was a rare occasion for him to speak russian anymore. only when he wanted to get something across. she didn't say anything more. trained her eyes on the floor and tried to keep her breathing under control. you don't respond when james collins talks to you like that. that was when he rounded carly.
he watched her, completely ignoring ksenia's presence. he didn't have all day, and she wouldn't have been able to tell carly the real issue. confess to her father's dirty mafia involvement, maybe. perhaps even the reason she was in moscow for so long, and without calling. but she couldn't have even approached the subject of carly's safety. she was guilty enough without saying that, he knew. she despised bringing anyone she cared about into this. but, like he'd said countless times, it was his shitstorm and he was going to keep it tidy. crossing his arms again, he looked carly right in the eye. it was difficult. he knew ksenia struggled, and why. what he had felt with her was unlike anything he'd felt before. but that was before she discovered he was a dirty, cheating assassin. a real criminal, not some bored pencil pusher. "my name is james collins. ksenia is my cousin. my family controls all russian-american communications between the mafia. and it is my responsibility to clean up any and all messes. and you, my friend, are another mess i have to deal with." his words were cruel, short. spoken in short, stabby sentences that obviously wanted to paint a much darker picture. "jamie. stop." ksenia's voice interrupted. his light eyes flickered to her for a mere second, finding her standing again, before looking back at carly. "he's a raging ass, but he's right. carly, i left again because it was my turn to get involved in the family business. which just happens to be a criminal one." her words were still emotional, soft. but so was her face. gone was the ice cold russian from before. now she watched carly with the eyes she had years previous, almost begging for whatever it was this time.
he had rolled his eyes again. the moment ksenia had subtly told him to shut the fuck up (like how he had to her. hah.), he had ceased speaking. give her a chance. and she was bringing sentimental bull into this? well, she had told her. sort of. all he had wanted was for the words to be spoken between ksenia and carly. can't ask for too much from two girls, i guess. "you're an expert at leaving the important shit out, you know that." he looked at ksenia, the shadow of a smirk highlighting his features. the same expression translated as he stepped toward carly, leaning toward her much like he had all those nights ago. but there was that coldness this time, that all-business smirk. "she wasn't going to tell you. but you are the proud owner of an unofficial hit. ksenia's sloppy italian friends discovered she cares more about you than anyone else. and i don't want to deal with a dead body, so you're my responsibiility now." she wanted to tell him to shut up again, to let her do this the right way. threatening was not something carly sutton would respond well to, she assumed. the way was to bring it slowly, to let her actually let it process. 'oh hey. this guy i made out with, and my old friend are russian criminals. and some enemy people want me dead. cool.' that would probably result in therapy. but she didn't. she kept her mouth shut and merely nodded as jamie finished speaking. the damage had been done.
"i'm sorry. for everything. i didn't want you finding out, let alone to be in danger like this. but jamie's not going to let anything happen to you, or anyone. i promise." she spoke again, looking at the window six inches to carly's right. this was just...she didn't want any of this to be real. [/size][/blockquote] ----------------------------------------------------------- STATUS, complete.
TAGGED, carmie + ksenia <3
LENGTH, 1583 words.
ATTIRE, ksenia + jamie.
NOTES, soo late. i hope it's not as messy as it sounds right now.
CREDITS, format and graphics to me.
lyrics to hollywood undead - "the loss"
[/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by caroline isabelle sutton on Mar 30, 2011 16:18:48 GMT -6
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, DAY A WAY MOTEL, EVENING, FEBRUARY 2012 [/font][/center] -----of course carly would have rather ksenia never involved her in all of this. there was so much that rode on this and this moment. everything depended on what she had to say and sadly enough carly didn’t really know any of that until they started speaking. she couldn't believe this was happening to her. how could it be that the people in her life, people she'd trusted of people she'd kissed even, were criminals. carly listened carefully to every word that had been said, listened to every bit of back and forth and tracking every single movement, everything that went on in that room. she noticed just how antsy ksenia was, just how sad and guilt ridden she looked. the was she slumped when she spoke or the sheer undertone of "pity me" in her voice. ksenia was a fragile one emotionally, carly knew this much despite how much she tried to hide it. she knew that simply through experience. when carly had slipped up and gotten pregnant she'd lost everyone close to her but ksenia hadn't been the first. that had been one of the first clues and was the main reason why carly had forgiven her and allowed her back into her life after having heard her apologies in vegas during that valkyrie academy trip. ksenia had stuck around feebly in keizer, waiting until she'd noticed just in what direction the social stigma was headed toward before she'd booked it away from her best friend at the time. she'd waited until it was clear where the flow of opinions was going before she'd shunned her friend as the rest of the community had. even though ksenia had abandoned her in high school carly had taken her back because she knew that it was ksenia's insecurities that lead her to leave carly in the dust. she'd known ksenia was capable of it from the first day she'd met her in high school and had taken her under her wing that her opinion was about as solid as a piece of paper floating about in the breeze. she would always waver, she would always be unsure, and she would always pull a fast flip-flop in order to fit in. ksenia was an open book to carly because she knew the type of person she was, but the fact that she was a criminal was absolutely lost on carly. sure she was impressionable enough to be dragged into a world like that, and sure when it came to spines ksenia's was pretty fragile, but for ksenia to be capable of hurting people? killing people? that was a the bit that carly just couldn't wrap her head around. ksenia was a sheep when it came to her persona and everything about her but was she a killer? carly never would have guessed that the answer to that was a possible yes.
-----james on the other hand was the complete opposite of ksenia. everything about the man was cool, collected, and most of all calculated. to an extent she terrified her and not just because he was an apparent mobster. no he terrified her because he appeared to be so emotionless, so empty inside. not to mention the fact that carly had no idea what he was actually like. unlike ksenia, james wasn't easy for carly to read. she hadn't grown up with him from a younger age, she also couldn't peg his personality. ksenia was easy. her opinions may have changed faster than fashion trends and she might have been super predictable, but carly knew when she felt a deep loyalty to someone that ksenia stuck by them. she also knew that when ksenia cared about you she did anything she could to protect you. james was emotionless on the outside. not only was he foreign to her but he was impossible to read. carly knew he would stand by and protect her if it was his job, but james didn't appear to be the type whose loyalty was that strong. he seemed more like the type whose loyalty lay with the highest bidder. it honestly seemed as changing as the tide. like the kind of thing you'd see in a movie where someone hiring an assassin had to still watch his own back. those kinds of people seemed to have no loyalty whatsoever and as long as you met their quota you were safe and had a great asset at your disposal, but god forbid your enemy up the ante or you fall short your quota, then your head was as fair game as the people you'd wanted dead in the first place. james came across in that way. sure he was here now and was supposed to protect her but his loyalty to the situation felt as changing as the wind and that was more unsettling than anything else. at the moment carly didn't feel like he was the kind of guy she wanted to depend on to keep her safe, because if one thing changed he seemed like the type to go back on his deal and leave her floundering. not only that but she was supposed to put her faith in the hands of a stranger? she was supposed to out the fate of her daughter into the hands of a stranger?
-----oh god, lily. carly hadn't stopped to consider just what this might mean for her daughter. the danger! the danger alone that now threatened the one person who made up carly's whole world was a total and complete reality and worse, unlike other dangers that carly could easily have taken care of or avoided, this wasn't something carly could take care of. this was something she had to rely on someone else to handle. those other kinds of dangers had paled in comparison to what she now faced. walking around new york at night, avoiding the crazies, and making sure lily safely made it to the bus was nothing compared to a mob hit. it really hit her like a ton of bricks. her daughter was in danger. if anything happened to her she'd be gone permanently not just gone away, living with a pair of strangers who may or may not have given her a chance to be a mother. she could feel the desire to succumb to her panics overwhelming her all over again. the anger that came with that nearly knocked her off her feet. she'd just gotten lily back and now there was a risk that she could be taken away permanently all because ksenia felt the need to stop in the park to say hello. her hands shook as she watched the back and forth between the two of them come to a stop but it was ksenia that had set her off. her sad eyes, her apologies, and her explanations pretty much fell on deaf ears. as all the talking finally came to a stop carly stalked forward. the anger had taken over to the point where it had amassed and she'd simply lost all rationality to her thinking. with pure red anger in her eyes carly stepped up and cracked ksenia across the cheek with her opened hand. "you bitch." she sneered, surprising even herself with her overload of emotion. "you knowingly endangered me and my daughter so you could what? what!? get some kind of guilt off your chest? you knew this was all a possibility and yet you still involved me, lily, and everyone else i care about so i don’t want to hear i’m sorry from you!"
[/color] carly balled her fist but kept it at her side. it was only when she felt a big hand clamp down on her shoulder that she heaved a sigh in an effort to calm herself. she didn't apologize. why apologize for lashing out at the person who put two innocent people in danger? at least she couldn't apologize yet. carly sighed, turning away from her former best friend to look over at her new...guardian. "so what now." she asked, her eyes locking on his for the first time since she'd walked into the room. she surprised herself by the slight electric shock of...something that quickly made itself known in her veins. "what do we do now? am i supposed to hide away and not live my life? i can't do that and i can't ask my family to do that."[/color] she obviously didn't like this, he didn't appear to be having the time of his life either, but if this was what she was forced to do simply in order to keep herself and her daughter alive, then she would do it. didn't mean she liked it nor did it mean she had to like it. -------------------------------------------------------- status • finished
words • 1,495.
tagged • ksenly !
clothes • clicky !
notes • shorter cuz i wrote it on notebook paper. hope the slight g-mod's okay. it wasn't anything huge. [/size][/font][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify] |
|
|
|
Post by ksenia on May 9, 2011 1:44:44 GMT -6
 -----------------------------------------------------------FEBRUARY, 2012. EARLY EVENING. DAYS AWAY MOTEL.
[/size] -----------------------------------------------------------[/color][/center] ,SEE, THIS WAS why jamie collins never got involved; with anyone, with anything. it brought all the complicated emotions and strings and other fuckery he found no use for. all he saw, standing there boredly observing, was a lot of wasted time. he could have been doing something useful by now. but the skeletons were crawling from the closet, bone fingers scratching at the bottom of the door. memories, faded and burning, were whispering softsoft, hi we're here and you can't ignore us forever. even he picked up on it. the unwanted guests were going to win the battle for invitations and invade his space. that's always what happened if you bring emotions and strings into the equation. bone fingers and burning photographs make a situation much heavier than it ever should of been. he didn't know it, didn't like it. as the yellow brick road was paved before them, through sawdust and black rainbows, he saw a distant outline of jagged edges. tension. screaming. resentment. things got much more complicated once you allow your feelings to take the majority vote. he didn't do it, but she did. he didn't know it, but she did. but he knew he didn't like it.
he tensed once the tension seeped through the carpet. it wasn't an argument, not yet. not a fight, but a whisper of a quarrel. not throwing lamps and breaking windows, but hands were curling and silent objects were fearful. but he watched, arms crossed, as the emotion darkened the yellow brick road. it didn't take long. he didn't care how ksenia had acted when she had met carly in the park. this was different. his little sidekick did not handle heavy emotion well. thus his suggestion to shove it down the deep dark hole and move on. the life in a russian bravata was not one where emotions mixed. they snag in the river and create a messy whirpool no one wants to stain the carpet. he'd been raised. they'd all been raised. and she hadn't. well too bad, shut up and study up, because you have to keep up. that's what he'd been telling her from day one. it worked, sort of. until someone who apparently mattered was staining his neat little pile of work. he didn't say anything more, didn't have to. all he did was mildly watch from ksenia to carly, clearly reading their expressions. no one knew what to do. they both wanted it to be over, that wasn't difficult to figure out. carly was angry. ksenia was struggling for control. and he was bored. sick and exhuasted and bored and ready to move on. five minutes, and he was ending all of this so he could continue with his life. let them deal with their infected wounds, bone fingers and burning photographs. his presence only made that dirtier.
he was right, she did want it to be over. and she was struggling for control. jamie collins knew all to well what ksenia sakahrov was like. carly had known her then, when nothing had mattered. but he knew her now. she tried to know him. but when there is something the boston-born mobster wanted cloaked behind a heavy velvet curtain, it remained and collected dust. she couldn't live like that. especially not with her past - how did he define it? bone fingers and burning photographs - crawling, daddy long-legs and silky string, across ceiling and floor, spinning a pretty web to trap them. she could not do what he did. filing away emotions, pushing it all to the back where it wouldn't have to be dealt with. it wasn't something anyone but jamie could do. it didn't feel right, and it definitely wasn't natural. she just couldn't. but she tried. for his sake. she gripped tight and pulled, the ice cold russian swimming in the opposite direction. the ice was beginning to melt, absorbed into her bloodstream. the snowflakes were blowing, filling her empty eyes. all until the heated wave of the past pushed through, striking all of the coldness from her body. ksenia didn't move after carly slapped her. she didn't do anything. her cape of ice was melting in a puddle on the floor. any trace of remorse and emotion and pity and whatever else was merciless, opening the windows wide for the bone fingers and burning photographs. all that left was grey, neutrality. she had wanted it to be over, and she had been fighting for control. but now, she didn't know anything. she didn't want anything. and she definitely was not fighting for anything.
he knew that. he watched it. he watched carly too, overcome with anger and confusion, strike the blurred ghost in front of her. he knew ksenia froze when she was caught between violence and breaking; heather grey with red lips but empty eyes. "no." that was all the light russian accent said. jamie's eyes shifted to ksenia, eyebrows furrowed. "you don't want a reason other than that. i don't have one. why does it matter?" her hand was touching her cheek now, lightly pressing against her enflamed skin. she was tempted to strike back, simply because it was physical pain. she didn't know the emotional pain anymore, whatever it was. she wouldn't ignore it like jamie, but she couldn't erase it because she didn't understand it. once the heat had melted her ice, all ksenia had done was turn grey. i guess jamie was right, it was easier that way. once carly retorted, she grew emotionally drained. it was fucked, but the effect her ex-friend had on her was immense. it took five minutes to exhaust the petty blonde. ksenia stared. in the few minutes since her words, jamie watched her just deflate. well, good enough. she didn't want to get slapped again, so she went the drained route. it worked. sort of. but it'd been five minutes. and he officially stopped caring.
he stared at ksenia for a minute, silent and cold, before pressing his hand to carly's shoulder. "you both have officially crossed my line and overstayed your welcome. so now i don't care, and i have things to do. save it for later." his voice wasn't angry, barely raised. it was demanding, if slightly empathetic. the emotional shit worked for girls. he didn't get it. once carly's eyes met his, he moved his hand from her shoulder, the aftershock of the unexpected electricity sparking the air. he merely met her glare, the nonchalance leaking into his blue eyes. "you, he motioned to ksenia without disrupting his staring contest with her victim friend, "are going to sit down and shut up, or leave. i don't really care." one issues resolved. he'd deal with ksenia and her emotional turmoil later. he didn't need it smoking up his irritation right now, and it was going to drag along until she dealt with it. he just didn't care how. hearing the shuffle of her movement, choosing to lean against the wall farthest from them, jamie shifted his attention to carly once more. he backed up a few steps, leaning his shoulder against the closest wall. "honestly?" he easily fished the near-empty package of cigarettes from his pockets, looked at it once, pulled one out and lit it with the accompanying lighter. ksenia hated his smoking almost as much as he hated being out of cigarettes. strict rules: no smoking inside. he blew a cloud of pollution over that. "it doesn't fucking matter to me what you do," he boredly crossed his arms and toyed with the end of his cancer stick. "hide in a closet, live your lackluster life, jump off a bridge, i don't really care. all i have to do is make sure you don't die because some pizza-maker shoots you." flaring his nostrils, he studied carly. she was either annoyed, terrified or confused. it was difficult to tell. "i'm here to keep you safe. you can continue living your life, because nothing's going to happen to you." [/size][/blockquote] ----------------------------------------------------------- STATUS, complete.
TAGGED, carmie + ksenia <3
LENGTH, 1335 words.
ATTIRE,ksenia + jamie.
NOTES, i really suck.
CREDITS, format and graphics to me.
lyrics to hollywood undead - "the loss"
[/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by caroline isabelle sutton on May 9, 2011 22:04:42 GMT -6
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, DAY A WAY MOTEL, EVENING, FEBRUARY 2012 [/font][/center] -----who would have expected something like this to happen? certainly not carly. it wasn’t every day that your life got turned upside down but then again there were a lot of aspect of carly’s life that didn’t define normal. not many fourteen year olds were lucky enough to get knocked up on their first time without even trying. not many fifteen year olds gave birth to a daughter who was subsequently whisked away to an adoptive family without your consent. not many seventeen year olds would go to a new town and immediately pick up a job at a local bar dancing on the bar top for unemployed nameless joes while behaving themselves. and not many eighteen year olds would have found their daughter and fought to have gotten her back after graduating and before running off to new york to become a famous dancer. whew. there were a lot of things happening in her life that most people didn’t get to check off their list until they were well into their twenties. only the really talented became famous at an early age and usually you waited ‘til marriage and all that for the kid and the lifetime commitment. carly? this one went looking for it. when the out had been there for her to grab all along, carly just couldn’t take it. she knew deep down in her soul that that baby was hers and hers alone to raise, because that was what she’d had every intention of doing from the get go. maybe it was her fault for not voicing that to her parents. after the news about her pregnancy had been inexplicably leaked to the entire community in a public and unfair manner, carly had clammed up. she’d learned real quickly who her friends were and she’d learned all too quickly that she didn’t have any. no one cared about her enough to stick by her other than her family but that kind of thing it just hits home in a person. to learn that everyone you’d let yourself care about was just a fake? that everyone you’d put yourself out there for had only been doing so to get close to you and soak up a bit of that high school popularity? something that like really hurt a girl. especially when she was a fragile, pregnant fourteen year old looking forward to a solid chunk of lonely time ahead of her. carly never asked for the friendship of other people. they’d always just come to her at some point in time and realized she was the kind of person to make it big in high school. like she just had the command of a room like that or just drew people’s attention. something that made her different. people had loved that about her when she’d been pure and untainted by scandal, but the moment the shit had hit the fan, so had the friends. it made a girl feel lonely knowing that everything your life had ever been, even in that short time, was a lie.
-----but after carly had gotten out on her own and become an adult, she’d really stepped into her own as a person. she couldn’t deny the pull she had over people. it was just a certain something she’d been born with that attracted people to her like moths to flame, but instead of being naïve about it and thinking it was friendship or love, carly thought of it as it was, a beginning and nothing more. if something ever came from someone coming up to her and having that kind of an interest in her. not necessarily a flirtatious or sexual attraction but merely an attraction of personalities, carly would never assume it meant immediate friendship, but there was always the beginning of something there. that was enough for her. to know that there were still people out there who could look at her and see something worthwhile, see something inside of her that was worth getting to know and worth becoming friends with. that was the kind of soul satisfying feeling she needed. she didn’t need constant love and attention. she didn’t crave it like some kind of necessity. the people who really loved her was her family. carly knew that and she’d always know that. it was the others, the strangers, who could look at her and see something awe inspiring or something worth watching, those were the people she liked. her family would always love her for her and carly would appreciate it til the day she died, but people like regan, reed, sam, violet, all those people who looked at her and saw someone they wanted to get to know better not because she was famous but because she was likable, that meant the most to her.
-----it seemed as though nowadays people had an innate need to just hurt other people. people didn’t seem to care about their effects on the world around them or the individuals they tried to hurt as long as they didn’t bring on that suffering in person or as long as they didn’t see the repercussions first hand. well, in most cases that was true. the kids of keizer high school would have burned her at the stake around the flag pole had some adult given them the okay to do so, but carly didn’t like to consider those teenagers to have been people. they were more like a herd of sheep. so not worth the time. but even then, outside of keizer, there was a world of people out there doling out the hurt like it was going out of style. there were people who would hide behind internet personalities in order to hurt others or to get a point across that someone different wasn’t worth the time. the world was turning into one of virtual hitlers running around and playing their own little games with propaganda. people would run around calling celebrities sluts, whores, dikes, or fags simply because they didn’t like them and would try and try to make them appear different or subhuman until one more person joined in the game. once more people joined in on the hurt, the whole movement would begin and stereotypes and gender and racial crimes would take place all under the assumption that other people out there supported them. it was things like that which disgusted carly the most. she’d been exposed to that kind of hate and she’d seen just how far it could go in person and just how deep the messages would dig themselves into the subconscious. it wasn’t fair that things could only be explained with the phrase “life isn’t fair.” there had to be more to it out there than just that. there had to be more than just the hate out there, hate without justification.
-----it didn’t help matters that at the moment carly had a world of justification for hating ksenia. well hate? carly wasn’t so sure. though she had slapped her so hard her palm stung, and was so angry she was tempted to up and slap her again just for the sake of doing so, carly was angry but she wasn’t filled to the brim with hatred. she came to realize as soon as her hand had come back to rest at her side. hitting ksenia had been unnecessary and in the grand scheme of things had accomplished absolutely nothing. but carly felt better, in a sense. she at least felt as though she’d gotten the point across. she was angry and the full fledged brunt of that anger had been felt in ksenia’s cheek. especially because carly had never raised a hand to her before. even in vegas, that first time ksenia had made a point to apologize for a whole new batch of issues, carly hadn’t lashed out…at least not physically. still something about this whole situation…she couldn’t bring herself to completely hate her former best friend. she pitied her in a sense. pitied the fact that after all this time ksenia was as insecure as ever. she could do nothing more than roll her eyes as jamie piped up from behind them both, talking about how she’d overstayed her welcome. really now? had she not been the one who had been forced to show up here under false pretenses? but whatever. that didn’t matter now. her eyes locked on his though as their gazes met. somehow she felt both the pull to just keep looking, and the necessity to do so. as if she looked like she was standing down if she didn’t just stare him down and mean business. stupid right? she crossed her arms underneath her chest as jamie started to speak, playing all of this off as some kind of mercy clean up mission. well the mechanics of it all didn’t matter. all that mattered was he was planning on keeping her safe. he didn’t have to be pretty about it, he just had to do it. that was enough for her. carly bowed up to him, matching his bullshit attitude inch for god forsaken inch. for some reason she wasn’t scared of this one, just annoyed to high hell. ”good to know.” she retorted, standing her ground. ”well then strap on your big boy panties or whatever it is you do, because i have a premiere to go to tomorrow and i’d like to not die.” and with that she brushed past him, heading toward the door. she opened the door and turned back to the filthy hotel room, her hand still on the handle as she avoided the male in the room and locked eyes with the blond sad-eyeing it in the corner. she lifted her hand in her direction, her finger pointing dead at her, ”and you. you better fix this for me and my family.” carly full-out threatened before she turned from the room and walked down the hall, leaving the hotel room door for someone else to close.
--------------------------------------------------------
status • finished
words • 1,714.
tagged • ksenly !
clothes • clicky !
notes • hope this is a good way to end it. the dance thread is coming up so lookout xD.
[/font][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify] |
|
